Surfaces
by yaba
Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her "resurfaced", rather than developed again. Five years after "Hundred".
1. Chapter 1: Blind Sighted

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

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Chapter 1: Blind Sighted

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She looked out into the bay and couldn't help but smile. The only thing separating her from the peaceful looking waters was a thin railing and she leaned on it, looking further out, trying to picture herself seeing this view every morning on her way to work.

A soft wind blew her dark, brown curls into her face but she didn't bother brushing them off, she didn't want to disturb the tranquility around her, knowing that with the kind of schedule she had in the next couple of weeks, any moment of peace she could get, she would enjoy.

She was so immersed in her thoughts she didn't notice a man in a suit approaching her from the side, "Miss Davis?" she turned her head and gave him her signature, dimpled smile before introducing herself, "Yes, Mr. Donell, I'm Brooke Davis, it is a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise." The older man smiled at her and shook her hand, "Shall we?" He asked pointing to the building a couple of feet in front of them and as Brooke nodded, they approached the only structure on the pier.

"This location is beautiful and also very quite." He said, opening the large door.

" Yes, I love the location, but I did notice a lot of traffic on Embarcadero." The man tensed visibly and flipped the light switch, illuminating the large, barren space as he replied, " Is that going to be a problem?"

Brooke looked at him a little suspiciously, observing the man she had been in touch over email and telephone for the passed couple weeks, "It does not have to be a problem, but I do respect my privacy and was hoping to find a more secluded area for my project."

"I understand Miss Davis, but-…" "But you are lucky," Brooke smiled again, walking towards the airy windows in the studio, "Because I absolutely love the view, the size, and that it is walking distance from my current residence, so I will definitely have my finance manager contact you about the paper work."

"So you'll take it?" He asked, looking somewhat pleased with himself.

Brooke turned around to look at the real estate agent and smiled warmly, "Yes, I will definitely take it."

"Pleasure doing business with you Miss Davis. You are quite a celebrity around here, our firm is lucky to be working with you."

Brooke nodded absentmindedly, trying not to show how repetitive his comments were. She was well aware of her widespread popularity and what it would do to this two-man run San Francisco real estate firm. But knowing that her clothing line started in a tiny two-bedroom apartment in a tiny town in North Carolina prompted Brooke to work only with underground companies rather than the mainstream ones she was constantly offered.

It seemed more natural and liberating to work with people who had minimal egos, which usually meant they were a lot better at their job. Just like this real estate agent, who found her the perfect building, she spent months searching for, in just a couple of days.

"We've had this building up for sale for about two months now, the last owner ran a publishing house here that's why there are still a lot of unshipped and unpacked furniture and equipment here." He pointed to the far corner of the warehouse, somewhere that Brooke missed, because the sunlight was not pouring into that part of the space.

"That's quite alright, it might take me a couple of days to come back here with my decorator to start drawing up plans for redesigning."

Brooke, nonetheless, made her way over to the boxes, looking somewhat curiously at all the unpacked furniture.

"So they had a publishing house here?" She asked, tracing one of the dusted desks with a perfectly manicured, purple nail.

"Yes, they are actually quite a success story." Mr. Donell waited for a response, but when Brooke didn't answer, he continued, "The owner was a best selling author for a while, but never wrote a follow up to his first novel. Instead he invested in a small publishing company and eventually took over. The company signed about three or four writers last summer and two of them just hit it big, so they decided to relocate to New York City, which is excellent news for you, because this place is all yours."

"Yes, I guess it is." She murmured, still fascinated with the remnants of what seemed to be a busy company at some point, "What is the name of the company, have I heard of them?" She continued walking around the property, her heels clicking against the concrete floor.

"Uh yes, I believe you probably have. The company is called Raven Publications." The real estate agent looked at his watch, wondering why his client was asking so many irrelevant questions.

"Oh yes, I have heard of them, they signed some of my favorite authors. I would love to meet the mastermind behind them, I read somewhere that the owner rarely makes public appearances. He even tries to keep his name out of the articles written about the company."

"Oh yes, he is a very private person, but he is also a wonderful gentlemen, very soft spoken, from a small town in the Southeast. North or South Carolina, I'm not exactly sure."

"I'd love to meet him sometime, we come from similar backgrounds." Brooke smiled somewhat dreamily, thinking back to the last time, almost half a decade ago, that she was in Tree Hill.

"I think you might actually get your chance. Here he comes to pick up the rest of his furniture." Mr. Donell said as he held the door open for some movers. They quickly walked towards the darker corner of the room, but Brooke already moved out of the way, completely oblivious to the people who rushed passed her.

She focused her eyes on the door and watched in awe as she was confronted with an image from her past, a deep, buried past that had just rudely walked into the door in a white t-shirt and dark jeans.

Their eyes immediately connected across the room and Brooke had to step back from the shock of it all. Just then Mr. Donell, oblivious to the exchange in front of him, smiled in the direction of his client and said, "Miss. Davis, this is the owner of Raven Publications, Lucas Scott."

"Luke!" The prominent fashion designer exclaimed, making her way hurriedly towards her former boyfriend, who seemed rooted to the ground.

"What a coincidence." He murmured, albeit smiling when he recognized the signature dimples his one time girlfriend was famous for.

"You two know each other?" The real estate agent asked, looking extremely confused.

"You can say that." Brooke smirked, casting a side-glance at the third party, before returning to Lucas.

"Doyle, Miss Davis and I are both from Tree Hill. We grew up together." Lucas interrupted the awkward silence. He wasn't trying to be rude, but this meeting really pulled the rug from under his feet.

He was in the middle of a huge career readjustment and relocation to New York City. In two weeks he had to be at a book debut of one of his very important and extremely nervous authors, and from the playful look in his ex's eyes and from his history with her, he knew that this wouldn't be the last he would see of her in San Francisco.

This made Lucas smile and Brooke was relieved, because in all honesty she thought he hated her or something, considering how still he became when he locked eyes with her and that he still hadn't hugged her hello.

"It's been almost five years." He added, now genuinely smiling and studying Brooke. He marveled at how some things never changed and how much others in fact did.

Appearance wise, Brooke was still the gorgeous, modelesque girl he knew back in Tree Hill. She still had lovely, brown hair and mischievous hazel eyes, but she seemed somehow taller and if possible thinner. Her body still retained its innate curves but they were modest and only slightly accentuated by the fascia pea coat she was wearing and the reason for her elevated height must have been the heels.

What Lucas noticed that was different was the way Brooke looked at him and the way she smiled. It was a tired smile that didn't illuminate her face like it used to when he last saw her back home.

"Lucas?" Brooke asked, chewing her lower lip nervously. "Yeah, oh sorry." He mumbled, realizing he had spaced out while taking in her appearance.

Just as he was about to respond, one of the movers came up to him, " Mr. Scott, there aren't enough boxes." Lucas scratched the back of his head, "Uh, ok, well why don't you guys stick around, I'll go get some more." The mover nodded and walked away, while Lucas turned his attention back to Brooke.

"So, I hear you're moving to New York?" Brooke asked, attempting to keep the conversation flowing, although it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, considering that Lucas seemed to be in some sort of trance or other world, because he still hadn't acknowledged her presence beyond a nuisance.

"Yeah, listen I have to go get some boxes." He looked uncomfortable to say the least but Brooke was sure he was just surprised and she was right, " Do you want to come with me? That is if you're done." He looked at Doyle, who at some point during the exchange picked up his cell phone and was now hammering away on it while looking at his watch periodically.

"Yeah, I'm done." Brooke smiled and after letting Doyle know that their meeting was finished, agreed to meet Lucas by his car.

Meanwhile the blonde walked out of the warehouse that he had called his work place for the last two years and was met by a blinding ray of sunshine, which wasn't too uncommon for the city by the bay but Lucas had already been blind sighted once today and the sunshine, which he usually welcomed, was not as inviting as it had seemed yesterday.

Slipping on a pair of Ray Bans, Lucas leaned against his black convertible and stretched his legs out, waiting for Brooke to finish up inside.

When she finally walked out of the warehouse, the sunlight hit her face at an angle that made Lucas forget everything on his mind but her sparkling hazel eyes and curvaceous figure.

At that moment Lucas couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the situation, here he was freaking out about seeing his ex girlfriend for the first time in five years yet it seemed so natural, because in the midst of things and his mild anxiety he hadn't even asked her what she was doing here…


	2. Chapter 2: Pretty Girl

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Wow 9 reviews for the first chapter. That's probably the most I've ever gotten for anything I've written. You guys only motivate me more. By the way, if you guys are a bit confused as to what's going on. Don't sweat it. It'll pick up and start to make sense in a couple chapters, but for now, enjoy all the much-needed Brucas action! Thank you!!

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Chapter 2: Pretty Girl

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By the time they delivered the boxes back to the warehouse and were strolling down the Embarcadero looking for a place to eat, Lucas had loosened up considerably. He admitted to being extremely surprised that he ran into her, because last he heard from Haley, Brooke was in Europe expanding her couture line and that she worked out of New York City.

Meanwhile Brooke admitted that she was just as surprised to see him, because the last she'd heard from Karen, Lucas was living in Los Angeles attempting to finish his second novel. Lucas was blind sighted the second time that day when he found out Brooke kept in touch with his mother.

"Does it scare ya?" She asked, giving him a half-smile and a wink as they walked down the busy street.

Lucas chuckled good-naturedly and shook his head, "No, I shouldn't even be surprised. She always, always had a soft spot for you." He admitted.

"Oh yeah." Brooke nodded, laughing somewhat dryly, "she did let me turn Karen's Café into a clothing store."

"Yeah, and you know what, according to her it's still the new hot spot in Tree Hill. Have you been back there?" Lucas asked tentatively, feeling quite guilty himself after missing the last few semi annual visits.

"No. Not since we both left." Brooke said quietly, clearing her voice in the uncomfortable silence.

"So you haven't seen anyone since that year?" Lucas asked.

"No, I spent last Christmas with Haley, Nathan, and James in New York, and Mouth lives in New York with Millicent. I also keep in touch with Rachel when she's not off gallivanting in Europe." Brooke babbled but a detail caught Lucas off guard.

"So you've basically seen everyone except me." He stated.

Brooke stopped mid stride, "And Peyton…" Her voice trailed off and she guiltily found a new interest in her well-worn, old pair of Dior pumps.

Lucas stopped and touched her shoulder, prompting Brooke to look up at him. The sun was blinding however, and she had to squint, which made this confrontation even more uncomfortable. She didn't know why she never looked Lucas up. I mean it would have been so simple. At the time she left, he was already a best-selling author and with today's technologies and her obvious connections at hand, finding a phone number would have been as easy as ordering a pizza.

"It's all in the past. Don't worry about it." Lucas said, but he spoke a little too quickly for Brooke's taste and in that moment she knew that it wasn't okay that she never kept in touch with him.

"Wish it was that simple." Brooke thought to herself but instead of furthering the awkwardness of the situation, she decided to let it go, at least for now.

"Let's go get something to eat at the Ferry Building." She pointed to a San Francisco landmark many townies visited daily for lunch, "I know an awesome oyster bar you'll love."

She looped her arm around his and pulled him in the direction of the monument, making Lucas first frown then laugh at her effortless ability to make him forget all his problems in a second.

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Lucas seemed to have mellowed out considerably by the time they were eating. Over oysters and freshly baked bread, he filled Brooke in roughly on the last five years of his life. Including the year he spent traveling, living out of his suitcase, trying to finish his second novel, which seemed to elude him.

"So what made you come back home?" Brooke asked, genuinely interested and a bit aroused by this nomad lifestyle Lucas described. She could never afford to disappear like that for more than a day. Her publicist would track her down even if she decided to take a shuttle to outer space.

"You mean besides the fact that I almost drained my account?" Lucas chuckled between bites of warm bread.

"Oh? So Broody here likes the five star hotels." Brooke teased, taking another sip of mineral water.

Lucas didn't respond right away, but instead chose to people watch for a moment, as if wondering how to answer her question.

"Writers are the strangest people." Brooke penetrated his reprieve. "Why?" Lucas cocked an eyebrow at her, wondering what brought on such a drastic change of subject.

"You always people watch. Similar to artists I guess. Peyton always used to fall into this silence when we would be in a crowded space, as if she was observing something." Brooke said, and watched Lucas stop chewing and begin to frown.

"You're never going to tell me why you rejected Peyton after Lindsay walked out on you?"

Of all things Brooke Davis was, subtle was not one of them.

"Honestly Brooke." Lucas began, but didn't know quite how to explain, "I really just don't want to talk about it." He murmured.

"Fair enough." Brooke said and stretched slightly, "Are you at least over her?"

She didn't know why she asked him this question. It seemed absurd and a little imposing, but she always trusted her instinct and decided that Lucas would be a lot less offended if it came from her, considering that at one point they had been close, extremely close.

Lucas was indeed taken aback by her comment, but also appreciated her blatancy and smiled at her, realizing he could never stay too mad at the brunette in high school and nothing had changed since then.

"I definitely think I am. Too much time has passed and I could have tried harder to get in touch with her but I didn't. I did try to contact her when I was living in LA, but she never returned my calls or emails, so I figured she wanted nothing to do with me, and I stopped trying."

"Oh." Brooke leaned back; genuinely surprised that Peyton actually had exercised some sort of willpower when it came to Lucas, "Did you want to get back together?" Brooke added, asking a question that could potentially ruin her mood for the rest of the day, if not the week.

"No, God no. I thought we could be friends. I guess she and I differed on that possibility." Lucas smirked,

" And since then she's kind of become a distant memory. I've been dating around, but nothing serious yet. As you can tell I don't exactly have a permanent residence just yet."

He took a sip of his soda and leaned back in his bar stool as well.

Brooke looked beyond Lucas to the wall-to-wall windows of the oyster bar that displayed a gorgeous view of the Bay Bridge and Treasure Island. Somehow knowing that she would be working here for at least three months was extremely calming and made her smile.

"So Brooke Davis, what about you?" Lucas asked, "What about me?" She countered, contemplating finishing the oyster platter they ordered.

"What do you mean? I've seen some tabloids; you have quite the social life. I'm surprised that there aren't a million paparazzi following our every move right now."

"That's because they think I'm in Cabo right now." Brooke laughed at Lucas's confused expression, "They got an anonymous tip." She winked, thanking god for her wonderfully shrewd publicist.

"I see. Anyway, you didn't answer my question." "Which would be what?"

"Are you flying solo lately or not?" Lucas asked, smiling. Brooke looked at him with pursed lips, wondering how to answer.

"Right now, the only ones I'm sleeping with are my designs. After expanding my couture line, I've had to be in Europe at least two months out of the year. I actually just got back."

Brooke knew she was babbling but couldn't stop herself. It had been a really long time since she had a meaningful face-to-face conversation with someone who knew her like Luke did, or at least used to know her. In a way seeing Lucas again, made her realize just how lonely she had been the last couple of years.

Meanwhile, Lucas set back and enjoyed watching his old friend work her way around his question and lose a little bit of sense on the way. It was so typical of Brooke, at any age, to talk quickly, ask questions bluntly, and apologize for nothing.

That's when Lucas realized how much he missed her. He hadn't allowed himself to think about it until now, when she was babbling and waving her hands around in such an unsophisticated manner, which betrayed her professional attire and also possibly her age.

Brooke noticed Lucas looking at her peculiarly. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing." Lucas smiled, "Just forgot how much I miss hanging out with you."

Brooke couldn't help but blush at that comment, it seemed that Lucas had that kind of effect on her. Even when she was 27 years old, owner of a hugely successful fashion line, and a savvy businesswoman, her high school sweetheart, if you could call him that could still make her revert back to a giggly, blushing teenager.

"I missed you too Luke." Brooke replied honestly, realizing just how truthful that admission was.

At that moment her cell phone chose to ring and Brooke glanced at her watch.

"Shit. I am so, so late." She exclaimed, completely ignoring her cell.

" Where do you need to go?" Lucas asked, taking a final sip of water before sliding off his barstool.

"This specialty fabric store on Union St. I had an appointment, which I completely forgot about and that's probably Millicent calling to yell at me for missing it." Brooke grabbed her coat and began pulling it over her shoulders.

"She's still your assistant?" Lucas asked as they made their way out of the bay side restaurant.

"No, no." Brooke said, struggling to fit her hand through the sleeve of her hot pink coat,

"She's the CEO of Clothes over Bros now." Lucas raised his eyebrows; obviously surprised that Millicent held such a high-ranking position in the company but still called Brooke with reminders.

"Yeah, yeah." Brooke nodded, " Reminding me to make my appointments is not part of her job description or six figure paycheck, but sometimes she's the only one that can keep me on track." She said, happily fastening the last button on her coat.

"So do you need a lift?" Lucas asked, fiddling with his car keys.

"Actually, that would be really great. Cabs here are almost as hard to come by as in the Upper West Side during a freak rain storm." Brooke said.

"I can tell you're speaking from experience." Lucas commented wryly.

"Oh yea." The brunette laughed and looped her arm around her blond friend, "C'mon Broody, maybe if I'm lucky you'll give me a tour of the city, I've only been here a week." She batted her eyelashes and gave him her signature dimpled smile.

" Don't push your luck Pretty Girl." Lucas warned, but his resolve had already melted ten times over. Brooke smiled, relishing in hearing her old nickname again...


	3. Chapter 3: The Redhead and the Writer

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad. 

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: Future Fic It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews. You really keep me going. I have about half of the story written, so I'll be posting every couple of days, just to keep the suspense up. I hope you guys keep coming back to read it and there will be a bunch of familiar faces popping up, including one of my favorite Tree Hill characters ever!

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Chapter 3: The Redhead and the Writer

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Couple of hours later, Brooke was signing the credit card receipt and giving the sales clerk at the fabric store instructions to her house for delivery when her phone vibrated against her hip. She thanked the manager and stepped outside before answering.

"Hello."

"Hey whorebag. How's the horrible city by the bay?"

"Rachel!" Brooke squealed, earning more than strange looks from some pedestrians.

"Yes, I know, I bet you missed me so, so much. I told you to come with me to Jamaica, it was beautiful, relaxing, and let me tell you, whatever rumors you've heard about Jamaican men, disregard them. They are gorgeous." Brooke laughed to herself, realizing that over the last couple of months since she'd last heard from one of her oldest friends had not changed the red head. She was still as spunky, energetic, and potty mouthed as ever.

"I believe you. Trust me I do. But you know I couldn't. I just got back from Milan two weeks ago and have been here ever since, and guess what, today I signed a lease on a really nice place to start my studio in." Brooke was rambling on, but she had so much to tell Rachel. She hadn't seen her for over a year and a half, but she knew it was for a good cause.

She was overjoyed that Rachel had finally kicked the habit and realized that traveling all over the world really helped her rehabilitation process.

"God, Rach I have so much to tell you. I miss you so much."

"Well then it's a good thing that I'm sitting in an airplane about to depart to SFO."

"Oh my god, are you serious? Oh my god! I can't believe you're coming here. When will you be here? I'll send a car for you, because I have no idea where the airport is even."

Brooke giggled happily, almost in disbelief that she was going to see her partner in crime again. It had been a bumpy ride for the two since Victoria scared Rachel away so many years ago.

Although Brooke continuously searched for her, Rachel just did not want to be found. Finally some two years after not hearing from her, Rachel showed up in Brooke's old New York apartment, looking like someone had put her through a garbage disposal a couple of times and told Brooke if she did not get help, she would die.

Despite being relieved that the search for Rachel was over, Brooke quickly ushered her off to an ultra exclusive rehabilitation center in Vermont and told her not to come back until she was off heroin. It didn't work out quite like that. Six weeks after completing the program, Rachel relapsed and disappeared again. Brooke was devastated and threw herself into her work, completing two runway shows and a couture clothing line in just 16 months. It was then when she was in Amsterdam, promoting the new addition to her label, that she spotted Rachel in a small café with a questionable crowd.

Brooke had had enough but keeping her promise to help her friend, dragged Rachel to another rehabilitation center, this time in New York where she could keep an eye on her and told Rachel she will move in with her after her treatment was completed.

Unfortunately, after Rachel completed her second stint in rehab, she skipped town again. After this time, Brooke decided she could no longer deal with her flaky friend, because Rachel obviously did not need her help and kept pushing her away. But just as Brooke had given up, she received a letter from her friend, written on foreign stationary, without a return address.

Rachel apologized for not telling Brooke where she is going, but that she was thankful for everything and told Brooke not to worry or try to find her, because she was traveling and would not be in the same place for more than a couple of days. She did promise to send postcards and she did faithfully, for more than three months, which was more a commitment than Rachel ever made in Brooke's opinion.

Of course the brunette collected them all and anxiously waited for her friend, because she had missed Rachel terribly. She missed the excitement in her life, which seemed to come with the territory of being the redhead's friend and could not wait to see her feeling better again.

"Brooke, don't worry I'll just grab a cab. Just give me an address and I'll call you when I land. Ok?"

"Yes, I actually have dinner plans today but you are so coming with." Brooke said, remembering her scheduled plans with Lucas. She had been so busy all afternoon she had almost forgotten about seeing her high school sweetheart. Well almost. Lucas Scott wasn't easily forgettable.

"Whom are you going with? Is it a business thing, because I don't want to intrude?"

"Rachel Gatina, I haven't seen you in almost a year and a half, even if it was a business thing, I'd take you with me and tell them you are my lover."

"No way, because we'd be on the cover of the Inquirer and I'd lose all my chances with all those good looking men in Frisco."

"Oh ya, because guys don't dig gorgeous lesbians at all." Brooke smirked, " It's been too long since you've been in the land of reality."

"I've been around." Rachel mumbled, awkward silence settling between the two. They'd never discussed where Rachel was every time she disappeared. Rachel didn't seem to want to relive what Brooke assumed would only be painful memories, and Brooke didn't bother to ask. Besides, Rachel was back now and that was what Brooke cared about most.

"Anyway, my flight is about to depart. Tell me who we're going out with tonight."

"Oh, none other than Lucas." Brooke said somewhat smugly, knowing this would get a surprised reaction from Rachel.

"Lucas? Lucas Scott? As in the best selling author turned publishing house entrepreneur Lucas Scott?" Rachel asked, obviously somewhat surprised.

"Yes, that Lucas Scott, and wait? How did you know about his new business?"

"Brooke, everyone knows about him, he is almost a full blown celebrity. Plus the fact that he is unbelievably sexy and looks incredibly and unnecessarily tortured all the time does not deter little teenage girls from pining after him." Rachel said, sounding annoyed at Brooke's ignorance.

"Wow, I had no idea." The young fashion designer murmured.

"Yeah, looks like it isn't me who is living under a rock these days." Rachel teased.

"Anyway, I really hope you guys are both single. We wouldn't want our resident superstar writer breaking any more hearts than necessary." Rachel added teasingly.

"What is that supposed to mean? This is the first time I see him in almost five years and your mind is already in the gutter."

"Uhuh, please tell me you haven't even thought about him romantically since you guys last saw each other."

Brooke opened her mouth to object but hesitated and this was enough evidence for Rachel to assume she had been right.

"Yeah, exactly what I thought." "Rachel, you don't understand. I mean I have thought about him since Tree Hill, but it's not like that. I doubt he's over Peyton, even though he says he is."

"Oh god, Brooke Davis everyone, hot fashion designer and queen of excuses!" Rachel exclaimed, letting out a chuckle, "You should be glad I'm coming down there to stay with you fatty."

"And why is that?" Brooke asked, ignoring Rachel's immature but well missed insults.

"I can be just the key to pulling your head out of your ass."

Before Brooke could even ask her what she meant, Rachel exclaimed that they were taking off and told her she'll talk to her soon.

Hanging up the phone, Brooke was a little more than confused but nonetheless totally excited to see her friend again. Looking down at her watch, she realized she only had a couple hours until Rachel arrived so she stepped down to the curb to hail a taxi, cursing Rachel for reminding her about her history with Lucas Scott.

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Lucas was standing at his kitchen counter, nursing a beer and wincing at the loud squealing on the other end of his cell phone.

"But Luke…" The girlish voice whined, "it's Manhattan, I've never even been in the state of New York, how am I supposed to survive in this monster of a city."

"Emily, you will be fine. The first time I was in New York City, I was completely alone and two years younger than you. If anything you can at least get wasted legally." He joked, albeit somewhat unsuccessfully, as his most talent writer was obviously exasperated.

"I don't drink Luke and telling me about "your" success story is not going to make Manhattan seem less horrific. I haven't even left the airport yet and it already smells like greasy pizza and smog." Emily huffed annoyed.

Lucas rolled his eyes and took a sip of beer, reminding himself repeatedly about the brilliance of Emily's first novel, hoping it would overshadow the immature behavior of his twenty one year old client.

"Listen, you'll be fine. Before you know it, I'll be flying in and I promise I won't let the smog or the grease from the quite possibly best pizza in the world attack or mug you. I promise." Lucas retorted sarcastically.

"You are so not funny. First of all you're coming in like a week, and second of all, the only way that grease would kill me is through my arteries, do you know just how fattening it is?"

While Emily went into a heavy one-sided discussion of the pizza's nutritional value, Lucas zoned out slightly, thinking about how much Emily reminded him of Brooke at times.

When he first received her manuscript, he was completely enchanted with the work and wanted to meet the writer right away. He assumed it would be a bookish, innocent, small town girl from Ohio who would be soft spoken and easy to work with. Well, Lucas had been painfully wrong.

As soon as he saw Emily Brecker getting off the flight in SFO, he was taken aback by how uncharacteristically different she was from the girl he'd expected to have penned such a passionate and thought provoking memoir.

Instead of the shy, librarian type, Lucas was met by a miniskirt wearing, designer bag carrying, and extremely opinionated brunette, who at the time did not, but now with her whiny voice and attitude, reminded him of his former girlfriend in high school.

And just as Brooke Davis had passion for clothing, Emily had a passion for the English language, and had no qualms about admitting that she herself was in disbelief of how dissimilar her writing alter ego was from her real self.

That was precisely what attracted Lucas even more to Emily as a writer: her incredibly brutal honesty. She had rubbed practically everyone the wrong way at Raven Publications, not to mention Lucas's partner, Jack, who was ready to kill her within 20 minutes of meeting with her. But Lucas refused to give up on her simply for the fact that she had the wonderful ability to reconcile her artistic self with her social self and make no excuses for the blatancy with which she did so. Before he knew it, Lucas was in a love hate relationship with his first real client and it had been almost year and a half since he'd signed her but finally her book was completed and the release party was in two weeks, which gave Lucas enough time to relocate to New York and meet with his advertising firm for last minute touch ups.

If only he could get Emily to stop hyperventilating, everything would be okay.

"Lucas? Luuuucas? Lucas, are you there? I swear to god if you hung up on me-…"

"I'm here Em. God sometimes you're worse than Lily and she's nine years old." Lucas said pointedly into the phone.

"Oh god, I love Lily. She is sooo adorable. I don't mind being compared to her. You know she promised to buy a copy of my book with her allowance money as soon as it came out. And I mean I don't really think she should be reading about sexual abuse and teenage promiscuity at such a young age, but I mean if it's profit, its profit. Maybe Karen can like take it away from her in the middle of the night or something and say Santa Clause took it." Emily babbled on, baffling Lucas in her ability to one second be completely professional and intelligent and the next be the biggest airhead and babbler he had ever met.

"Em, Emily." He tired to interrupt her, but to no avail. If she kept talking at this rate, he would never make his dinner plans with Brooke on time, and he definitely did not need two women complaining to him today, especially two of the most head strong brunettes he'd had ever encountered.

"Yeah?"

"Don't kill me but I have to run. I have dinner plans."

"But Luuuke-…"

"Listen, you will be fine. I swear. You have all my numbers, and don't forget Jack is in town, along with the marketing team we're working with."

"But Jack hates me and I think so does the head of that stupid propaganda department."

"Well, then why don't you just check yourself into the hotel and relax for a few days. Order room service, go shopping, and get your nails done, whatever. It's on me, just don't be nervous and call Jack if you need anything. He does not hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. He's just not a people person. Whatever. I'll talk to you later Luke, I need to go find the baggage claim. Bye." Emily hung up before Lucas could get a word in edge wise, which was not unusual for the young writer.

Lucas had to ask himself why he chose to put up with the rudeness, but reminded himself that a long time ago he gave another brunette in a miniskirt a chance and that worked out fairly well over the years.

Speaking of that brunette, Brooke was going to kill him if he was the one late for dinner so discarding the half drunk beer; Lucas stripped his clothes off and climbed into the shower…


	4. Chapter 4: Under His Skin

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad. 

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews. You really keep me going. I hope this gives you guys a little bit of background info and helps explain the end of the Lucas/Peyton saga a little more.

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Chapter 4: Under His Skin

TTTTTT

The restaurant was darker and busier than Brooke assumed it would be from the pictures online. However, that should have been expected, considering how unreliable the Internet was these days. She should have trusted her instincts and booked a table somewhere she'd been before or at least somewhere that Lucas recommended, instead of being stubborn and taking it upon herself to try something new tonight.

Lucas would probably hate it. But then again, why was she so concerned with whether Lucas liked the restaurant or not. It's not like they were on a date. Brooke sighed, tapping her red stiletto anxiously. It was stupid Rachel's fault for getting her to think about Lucas nonstop since she saw him. The redhead had the uncanny ability to get Brooke's head turning in the wrong direction, from which she could rarely recover. Speaking of her long lost friend, where the hell was she? And where the hell was Lucas?

It was already ten minutes passed the reservation time and it was usually her responsibility to be late somewhere, not the blond writer's or even Rachel's for that matter.

Taking an umpteenth sip of the ice water on the table, Brooke was very close to calling her two friends and yelling at them for being late, when the familiar sounds of the Sex and the City theme echoed through her clutch.

Eagerly picking up, Brooke bypassed the caller ID and answered with an annoyed, "Hello?"

"Brooke! Oh my god. I finally got a good connection." It was Rachel and Brooke became concerned due to the annoying bustling in the background, which made it difficult to hear her friend.

"Rachel? Is everything okay? You should have been here hours ago and I tried calling." Brooke said, grabbing her purse and stepping outside, to avoid the overwhelming loudness of the restaurant.

"I'm fine. First I couldn't pick up because we were flying and then we had to do an emergency landing, because someone on our flight was having a medical emergency."

"Oh my god. Where are you now?" Brooke asked, glancing at the digital clock on her cell phone.

8:20.

She was going to kill Lucas.

"I'm stuck in St. Louis for the night. The next flight out is at 4:30 tomorrow morning. I should probably be at your house before you wake up." Rachel teased, obviously trying to make the best of her crappy situation.

"Oh, that completely blows." Brooke sighed, hunching her shoulders slightly.

"Yeah, you're telling me. I have to sleep in some shitty hotel with the sound of airplanes flying all night long."

"Well, it can't be so bad. Just do what I always do when I'm alone in a strange city." Brooke began.

"What? Get completely trashed and pick up a random guy for the night?"

"No! God, that is so high school/college. I was going to suggest a hot shower, pay per view movie, and comfort food. But hey, whatever works for you." Brooke chuckled.

"Whoa Brooke, you sure do fulfill your role as a hot fashion designer. When was the last time you even had sex?" Rachel asked.

Brooke opened her mouth, quick to retort but found that no words were coming out. At that moment, she looked up hoping for anything to save her from an embarrassing confession, and as if someone upstairs had heard her, from around the corner she saw a familiar face making his way towards her.

It suddenly didn't register that he was walking way too leisurely for someone who was now, check 25 minutes late to a dinner, or that Rachel kept screaming into the phone, demanding a reply. All that mattered was the smile on Lucas's face and that he had given her an excuse to hang up.

"Rachel, Lucas is here. I have to go."

"Oh, well scratch what I said about the last time you got laid." Rachel smirked, before Brooke wished her a safe trip back home and hung up abruptly.

Upon seeing Lucas approach, Brooke had been elated and relieved, but now that the reality set in she was kind of nervous. She had no idea why, but chose to ignore her inner voice telling her that the sensations she was experiencing seemed to indicate a first date, which was preposterous, considering Lucas and her were just having dinner to catch up.

Brooke decided to put all other thoughts behind her and managed a smile for her approaching friend.

"You know for someone who is almost 30 minutes late to a dinner with a long lost friend, you are unusually slow in your walk."

Lucas studied her face for a moment before realizing that he was indeed extremely late, "Well, I just weighed my options while I was parking, thinking that I might as well enjoy the last of this wonderful evening, before you pounce me for being late." He said teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah." The pretty brunette rolled her eyes, making no attempt to enter the eatery behind them, " I'm not exactly anxious to go back in there. It's loud enough to give me a headache and I don't really work in a mellow environment. Why were you late anyway? Hot girl keeping you busy?" Brooke raised her eyebrows suggestively, simultaneously exposing her signature dimples.

"I wish." Lucas exhaled, "I actually kind of fell asleep." He admitted sheepishly, and Brooke frowned. For the first time she noticed his hunched posture and the familiar dark circles around his cerulean eyes. He looked tired, which to Brooke was a kindred feeling, considering she had been running her own business for the last ten years.

"It's okay. Moving across the country must really be taking its toll on you. I totally understand." She reached out and lightly squeezed his shoulder, pleasantly surprised at the heat it emanated even through his un tucked dark blue button down.

Meanwhile Lucas tried to ignore the tingling feeling Brooke's touch inflicted and looked up at the restaurant behind him, "I think we need a change of scenery. How do you feel about a huge paella and unlimited sangria?" He asked.

Brooke smiled again, "I am intrigued. Lead the way."

"Sure thing pretty girl."

TTTTTTT

Esperpento was a neighborhood Spanish restaurant in the Mission district and even though it was a weekday, it was still impossible to get a table right away. So Brooke and Lucas sat on the steps of the adjacent building, sipping from glasses of sangria while they waited.

At first they had engaged in meaningless conversation, mostly Lucas talking about his intolerable yet lovable client Emily Brecker and his perpetual fear that she was going to freak out on him and skip town before he could get to New York. Brooke listened intently, sipping the sweet wine more frequently as memories of Lucas in New York City flooded back into her mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Lucas asked, noticing the pensive look on her face.

"Just you know, the last time you and me were in New York together." Brooke smiled, catching a bit fruit in her drink and fishing it out with her tongue.

Lucas watched her childish maneuver and couldn't help but smile affectionately at his one time girlfriend, "Yeah, that was a crazy night." He murmured, trying really hard not to think about the kiss he had initiated in a drunken stupor that evening.

"It was." Brooke laughed.

"What is so funny?" Lucas asked, leaning closer to her as she turned her face to tell him,

"Nothing, I just can't believe that driver thought we were engaged."

Lucas hadn't really known how to respond to that, considering he saw no fault with the possibility of being engaged to Brooke, even when Peyton Sawyer had just rejected him.

But he did what any other slightly tipsy person would, he agreed.

"Yeah. You and I, married? Like that would ever happen." He smirked and Brooke realized that no amount of alcohol could squelch the unsettling feeling that formed in her chest.

She had no idea what Rachel was talking about. Lucas and her were just friends and that's all he saw in her anyway. Apparently she was not the marrying type.

Blissfully unaware of the impact his drunken and also false confession had on his friend, Lucas got up and pulled Brooke up, accidentally drawing her closer to his body then he'd originally planned and they both stumbled back and landed against a parking meter.

"I think that's enough wine for you." Brooke chuckled, unsuccessfully trying to get the glass out of his hand.

"I'll stop if you stop, or we're going to have to take a cab home." Lucas reminded.

Brooke looked at him incredulously and then shook her head in slight disbelief.

"What?" the blonde asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"Nothing, it's just that even when you're having fun you are still so cautious."

"Well someone has got to be." Lucas smiled, admiring his ability to elicit Brooke's infamous dimpled grin. He looked passed her and saw the host approaching them.

"C'mon pretty girl, our table's ready."

TTTTTTT

After insisting on splitting the bill, Brooke leaned back in her chair and relished the last remnants of sangria in her glass. Now that she had sobered up considerably, the dinner seemed like a blur, delicious but still a blur.

She couldn't recall exactly what they'd talked about or if she had made a fool of herself, but as she reflected on the evening, she experienced a sense of warmth and comfort that she hadn't in a long time.

Ever since she had been traveling for work more than usually, the familiar feeling of loneliness that she thought a child would fix came creeping back little by little until she found herself sleeping less and less and evaluating more and more her current position in life. She would never admit it but she hadn't come to San Francisco, because New York City was giving her a headache, even though it was. She also didn't come to San Francisco for inspiration. She had just returned from touring the top fashion capitals in the world, inspiration was coming out of her ears.

No, Brooke Davis would never admit to herself or anybody else that she had come to San Francisco, hoping to get away. She dreaded coming back to Manhattan and since she had left Tree Hill with no intention of coming back, Brooke fled to the only other city that she loved.

The city by the Bay.

TTTTTTTTTT

Lucas felt a bead of sweating descending down his forehead and dissolving on his nose. This annoyance made him run even faster, panting as he went, almost relieved to see that he was nearing the exit of the park. He had woken up exceptionally early this morning to blinding sunshine at 7am and decided to do something he hadn't in a while: run.

With the publishing house slowly taking over his life, Lucas barely had time for himself and thankfully he had his fast metabolism to compensate for his poor eating habits, otherwise he would have been extremely overweight by now. However, this morning with the old workspace packed up and a stressful week awaiting him back in New York, Lucas decided to spend the next couple of days indulging himself in activities that had eluded him for so long, starting with a quick run through Golden Gate Park.

Lucas always loved running, especially when he was in high school and college, because his life was so filled with drama that he needed an outlet for dealing with it, especially when writing had not been enough. There was simply nothing more therapeutic than a cool wind in your face and a burning pain in your calves. Lucas loved pushing himself to the edge physically, and with his heart condition, he could no longer do so all the time, thus it was a nice indulgence to get away from it all, at least for a couple of miles.

It also gave him a chance to face the subject he had put off till this morning: Brooke. Last night had been the first time in at least a year that he truly experienced a connection with a woman. He had dated of course but unlike the pre-Peyton and Lindsay Lucas, this one was more cautious and aware of his date's imperfections, including even the most ridiculous ones, such as a big head or long neck.

Lucas knew he was being stupid, all the women he had gone on dates with were perfectly interesting, smart, nice, and good looking, but he just could not stand letting some one new in only to have them stomp all over his heart, much like Lindsay had.

Of course, he couldn't blame her. Looking back, Lucas knew his almost wife had been right, at that point Lucas really was still in love with Peyton and was holding on so badly to the unsalvageable relationship for dear life.

It became a struggle for them to even maintain a friendship. Lucas did have to admit that although he and Peyton obviously would never work out, they would always have a deep connection and wear their hearts on their sleeves around each other. Because to Lucas it seemed that Peyton knew even before he did that he had fallen out of love with her, she was just waiting for him to realize it himself. And when he did, Peyton made it incredibly easy on him by leaving him a note saying that she knew and she wasn't upset and even though she would always love him, she would probably get an earlier flight out of Tree Hill. Basically, in her own subtle way Peyton told him she did not want to see him again, because she could never forgive him for fucking with her heart so badly and for so long. Lucas wasn't mad, in fact he left her gladly, surprisingly not feeling an ounce of regret for the relationship, but feeling a ton of guilt for stringing one of his oldest friends along for more than four years.

He should have known better. But he didn't, and it seemed like with Peyton, that ship had sailed. There were no more second or third or even fourth chances with her, considering that he hadn't spoken to her in over two years and it seemed like she had no intention of returning his calls or seeing him. He wondered how she had managed to elude every possible celebration in Tree Hill and most importantly elude him. Thoughts of Tree Hill reminded him that another notable figure had been MIA until yesterday morning.

Brooke had the uncanny ability to swoop into his life unannounced and turn it upside down, or so he thought she would this time. Although nothing had happened, there was a familiar feeling of excitement and complete terror that formed in his stomach every time he thought about her. She had seemed so distant by the end of dinner the night before and he couldn't help but be concerned. The last time he had seen her in such a pensive state was the night before she had mysteriously left Tree Hill almost five years ago.

This gave him a feeling of unexplainable dread. Even though he was leaving in a little less than a week, and a whole new, hard earned life was waiting for him in Manhattan, Lucas suddenly wished that he wasn't leaving so soon, because a week wasn't enough for Brooke to get under his skin.

And he hadn't even been aware until that moment, that he so desperately wanted her there…


	5. Chapter 5: Talking Nonsense

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad. 

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews. Seriously, it's making me so happy that someone actually likes what's coming out of my crazy head. There's lotsa Brachel interaction in this one, and another old character is popping up. I promise lots of Brucas action next chapter.

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Chapter 5: Talking Nonsense

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Nursing a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of steaming coffee, Brooke carefully managed to open the balcony screen and settle down on the front porch, looking out into the Marina and inhaling salty ocean air.

The sunrise just passed and now the sun illuminated the bay, light glinting off the yachts out in the distance and the sky never looked clearer. Brooke smiled triumphantly. She had been waiting for a day like this for a couple of weeks now. Ever since she came to San Francisco, the city seemed to disappoint her more and more in the weather department. For the first week it rained incessantly and the next two weeks it was foggy and bitingly cold. She couldn't do any of the outdoor activities she had fallen in love with in New York, like taking long walks during spring and summer time and doing her Pilates outside. Finally she could do all those things today and she was glad she had an early start.

However, even before she had a chance to dig into her bowl of oat goodness, there was a loud and repeated knocking on the front door. Brooke looked over at the clock in the kitchen and smirked.

8:30 in the morning. Rachel Gatina had finally arrived.

TTTTTTT

"Since when do you eat oatmeal?" Rachel wrinkled her nose as she picked up the spoon and watched the gooey mixture fall in blobs into the bowl.

"Since it's good for you." Brooke said defensively, snatching the bowl back.

"Whatever." Rachel rolled her eyes, "You are so boring. You should be glad I'm back to put some spice into your life." The redhead winked, taking a sip of coffee.

It was true, in comparison to Rachel, Brooke felt not only old but also extremely dull. She hadn't been working eighteen-hour days for over a month now and even without constricting office hours, Brooke hadn't done anything a normal 26 year old would do with the amount of money and connections she had. Maybe Rachel was right; maybe she needed to get out more.

"I'm sorry not all of us can spend three months gallivanting across the world on daddy's credit card." She replied, somewhat hastily and for a split second she thought she noticed a look of hurt flash on her friend's face, but as soon as it came, it went and Rachel rebounded, "Hey, I resent that! The trip was only partially paid for by his American Express." She smiled.

The two friends shared a small laugh before returning to their coffees. As they drank, Rachel, for the first time, relegated Brooke with stories of her three-month expedition across Europe. Her storytelling gave Brooke a chance to really study her friend, from the redder than ever long hair to the tanned skin hidden by a pair of dark jeans and an emerald halter-top. She looked beautiful and most importantly healthy. Gone were the dark circles under her eyes and the defeated posture and as Brooke peaked over at her exposed arms, she saw that the inside of her elbows were smooth and blemish-free. It was as if her body not only rid itself of the addiction internally but also externally. It was as if Rachel had never had one foot in hell.

"So, enough about me. I completely forgot to ask you how last night went with Lucas. Considering the house is empty, he either made an early morning escape or you guys didn't get it on." Rachel teased perceptively.

Brooke rolled her eyes immediately, "It was alright. Nothing special, just two friends catching up." She hoped Rachel bought it, because her friend's tenacious nature threatened to ruin the perfectly sunny day outside.

"Yeah, sure. I'll believe that. You and Lucas are nothing if not at least a little bit special and you definitely are not just friends." Rachel leaned across the table as she emphasized the word "special".

Brooke's frown deepened and she locked eyes with Rachel. The redhead immediately quieted down, realizing that this was probably more of a touchier subject than she had at first realized.

There was a pregnant silence between the two as they finished their coffee and the tension was quickly mounting, enough that it annoyed Brooke more than Rachel's nagging.

"Alright, okay, fine." She said frustratingly, "Lucas and I are not just friends and I never even contemplated for a second that we could maintain a long term friendship after everything that happened, but you know what. He's leaving in about five days to New York, permanently and if that isn't enough indication that getting into anything with him would be dangerous, I don't know what is." Brooke suddenly found herself feeling extremely vulnerable and crossed her arms on her chest, hoping Rachel wouldn't pry anymore.

"I'm glad you finally admitted it." Rachel replied quietly, "Now, you're going to get up off your butt, wait for me to take a shower, and then show me where the rich and fabulous shop while in San Francisco. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up whorebag." Brooke smiled back, still feeling a little disconcerted over her outburst, but also glad that Rachel was smart enough not to push Brooke for answers, because she really didn't have any.

TTTTTTTT

After a two-hour shopping spree at Bloomingdale's and lunch at an Italian café downtown, Brooke and Rachel were back on the brunette's balcony, sipping on herbal tea.

"What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" Rachel interrupted the silence as Brooke fiddled with her blackberry.

"I don't know." Brooke shrugged, pressing random buttons like a child.

Rachel didn't push it, wondering about her friend's rapid change of mood. Suspiciously, the smile from Brooke's face disappeared the minute Rachel teased her about Lucas that morning, so Rachel felt guilty and decided she would try to cheer her friend up.

"Oh, you know I heard Gavin Degraw is playing at the Independent tonight. Do you want to go?" she asked, taking a sip of tea.

Brooke shrugged again, this time leaning her head back and closing her eyes against the hot, afternoon sun.

The weather report estimated 85 degrees for the late afternoon and Brooke was now feeling it full force against her already sun kissed face.

"Sure, I guess it could be fun. Do you want to call in for tickets?"

Rachel bit her lip, "Yeah. I guess. Do you maybe want to invite someone else?" she had hoped Brooke wouldn't explode on her like she did earlier. Both girls knew she was alluding to Lucas.

Brooke turned to Rachel, looking at her pointedly. There was a thick silence between them for sometime, until the designer did something unexpected.

"Yes. I think Lucas wouldn't mind coming along, but _you_ should give him a call if you want him to come."

With that Brooke excused herself into the kitchen for more tea, leaving Rachel wondering if it was such a good idea to call Lucas at all.

Meanwhile, Brooke stood seething in the kitchen. Even though she loved Rachel and was extremely happy to have her here, it was getting increasingly annoying to deal with the redhead's probing questions and blunt behavior. This was especially difficult, because Rachel seemed to know exactly what and who was on her mind, which made it even harder to concentrate on anything but Lucas.

In a sense, Brooke knew she was displacing her anger. The real person she was mad at was herself, for letting herself even think about Lucas in that way after everything that had happened between them and how many years had passed. It seemed oddly ridiculous for her to be reverting back to her ten year old feelings for a boyfriend in high school. Yet as hard as it was to deny it, Brooke also knew she was suppressing feelings not just for a boy she dated in high school, but for Lucas Scott.

A boy who changed her entire existence when he came into her life so many years back, someone who made her feel special and looked passed the façade she so expertly put on each morning along with a pound of make up in order to hide the unpleasant childhood and lurking insecurities of a girl who grew up without a family.

He was also the first boy to break her heart, which seemed slightly immature looking back but at that moment, Brooke never felt so betrayed by anyone before. They had just been dating for a couple of months and she knew, god she knew how badly he wanted Peyton; however, that didn't stop the horrible ache she felt when she found out he cheated. He had left a permanent scar on her heart that didn't seem to want to keep him away.

Instead, like a demented masochist, her heart kept pulling Lucas back with a powerful magnetism that Brooke could not ward off if she tried. It was a horrible, horrible addiction, which didn't even seem to build up any tolerance. It literally took one lunch and dinner for her stomach to do the familiar flip whenever she thought of him and for her eyes to dangerously dart all over his body when she was in his presence.

God, and now she basically dared Rachel to invite him to wherever they were headed tonight. And knowing her ruthless friend, she probably would not go back on a dare.

Just as Brooke was about to go confess to Rachel how she was feeling and that she did not think it was a good idea for them to meet up with Lucas, her cell phone rang.

Because she secretly wanted to see how the night would turn out, Brooke was glad there was a reason for her to postpone talking to Rachel.

"Hello."

"Brooke! It's Millicent."

"Oh, hi sweetie. How are you? How is New York?" Talking to Millicent always brought a smile to Brooke's face, even if she knew it was probably business related since she was calling from the office phone.

"Everything is fine here. Is everything okay with you? Oh, and by the way you should be celebrating, the finance manager called me today, saying all he needs from you is your signature and the warehouse is yours."

"Oh, that is so great. I can't wait to start fixing it up, I bought some really amazing fabric from a specialty boutique today. It's going to be great for the fall line, I already started doing sketches."

Work was another great source of inspiration for Brooke and she realized that with all of this Lucas stuff going on, she had forgotten about her real reason for being here: to design.

"That is really good. I'm glad you're already thinking about the collection. I have some prospective buyers already lined up-…"

"But they don't even know what I'll be designing." Brooke exclaimed joyously, extremely pleased that she had clients already.

"They're returning old timers. Loyalty is everything in this business." Millicent sounded like a pro, which didn't surprise Brooke at all. After a few years of coaching and working behind the scenes, Millicent developed a natural talent for managing such a huge company. When Brooke decided to put her "baby" in Millie's hands, she had no doubt her friend would do amazingly well. And she did, drawing in more revenue per year than Victoria could ever imagine. Brooke supposed this had everything to do with Millicent's professional yet very appealing personality in meetings and negotiations, as well as a knack for styling.

She was the best representative for Clothes Over Bros. Brooke simply had no doubt.

"So is there anything else you called for?' Brooke asked impatiently after realizing there was a silence on the other end, filled with a hesitance she could sense from 3,000 miles away.

"Millie?"

"Okay, Brooke you trust me right?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't get mad at me, because I thought this would be an amazing opportunity. But I kind of booked you a client."

"What kind of client Millie?" Brooke became suspicious, leaning her hip against the marble counter.

"Well, do you remember the Diane Von Furstenberg show in St. Bart's?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes."

"Do you remember when Tom Ford introduced you to this Ukrainian businessman who seemed really interested in investing in your company but you turned him down?"

"Yes."

Brooke became increasingly worried. She remembered the guy Millicent was talking about. Although he was painfully good looking, with his sandy blonde hair and playful green eyes, he kept bothering her about stocks and marketing. Two things she still had trouble with when it came to making pleasant conversation, so she quickly lost him in the crowd, only seeing him at the end of the night when she was leaving. She remembered him raising a champagne glass to her across the room and winking suggestively.

At that moment she sized him up to being a sleaze bag with ulterior motive, but she couldn't deny the butterflies she had been feeling. It was the first time in a long time a man attracted her. Considering she was probably then subconsciously still hung up on some one else, the businessman accomplished something big.

"Millie, cut to the chase. What does this guy want?"

"Well, his personal assistant called me yesterday and asked to set up an appointment with Brooke Davis for a wardrobe consultation, but I obviously called her back and told her that you are not a personal shopper but that I can refer him to one."

"I'm guessing she didn't take no for an answer."

"Well, she did, but he didn't. He ended up getting my cell phone number somehow and catching me after work last night, telling me he will pay for a private plane to pick you up and fly you to his London mansion and provide you with five star accommodations for as long as it takes for you to meet with him and assist him with his wardrobe. I didn't know what to do, so I promised I'd call him back and let him know."

"But, Millie, I am really busy here and I mean I've never done styling outside of my own fashion shows, and quite frankly I do not want to be spending any time with some guy who can't get it through his thick head that I'm not a goddamn personal shopper."

"Brooke. It's your choice, but Alexander is extremely well connected and he could do wonders for getting Clothes Over Bros even more out there. If you style him for even a week, he will probably refer all his male friends to you and so on until you'll actually have a male demographic. Isn't that what we've been striving for?"

Millicent was right, and for a split second, Brooke was extremely proud of her for exploring the business side so well, and yet it angered her that this man, whomever he was, thought he could bribe her with money.

Brooke Davis could not be bribed. However, Clothes over Bros had yet to tackle the male population in America so this was an incredibly tempting offer, and he was giving her personal freedom.

After a long silence in which Brooke contemplated the offer, she succumbed, "Okay, fine. But, if he wants me to dress him and even possibly design for him, it will have to be on my terms. Don't call him back, email his assistant my itinerary for the rest of the month, which should be really easy because I am not traveling out of San Francisco and let them know explicitly that I'm making an exception for him in my busy schedule. He should not think he has the upper hand." Brooke instructed.

"Okay." Brooke could hear Millicent dutifully jutting down the instructions, even though she probably had them memorized.

"You don't think you're being too harsh?" she asked and Brooke couldn't help but agree.

"Probably, I'm stressed right now but it has nothing to do with the job. Just email his assistant and we'll take it from there okay?"

"Brooke, is everything okay?"

"Yes. Listen I got to go, but I promise. You, me, web cam, tomorrow night, I'll tell you everything okay?"

"Yeah, definitely. I'll just put Marvin to baby duty."

"Oh gosh, wish him and Alyson all my best and tell your little bundle of joy that she should be brainstorming her birthday presents, and I mean plural from aunt Brooke. Okay?"

"Yes, although I still think you're spoiling her." Millicent said sweetly, getting a special twinge in her voice whenever the topic of her two year old came up.

"Yes, but I can do that now, since I don't have my own kids to spoil."

"You will, you definitely will and you'll make a great mother." Millicent said.

After a couple minutes of work-related conversation, Brooke hung up the phone completely exhausted. She decided that she needed a good, strong drink and some fun tonight.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel closed the screen door as she came inside.

"Yes. Work related crap." Brooke took a long sip of tea and placed it in the sink, as she walked passed Rachel, the redhead felt a shudder of aloofness from her friend.

Somewhere in her conversation with Millicent, Brooke's whole demeanor changed and the usually warm, dimpled smile was replaced with a flat, icy glare. Rachel knew that look and she didn't like what it predicted.

"Call Lucas. We're going clubbing tonight." Brooke said as she walked into her bedroom and slammed the door.

"Oh boy," Rachel murmured, deciding to take a nap before calling Lucas and getting ready for whatever trouble Brooke was going to get them into tonight.

TTTTTTTTT

Lucas was writing again. Words were floating in a circle around his head and were coherently finding their way onto the page. It was five thirty in the evening and he hadn't even noticed the entire day rolling by. After his run, he indulged in a breakfast of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and bacon and then decided he was going to pack up the rest of his books. But he'd only managed to get through about half of his Salinger collection, when he opened an old dog eared copy of Nine Stories, intending to read a favorite story or two, when something fell out. He picked up and realized it was a very old Polaroid.

It was wallet sized photograph of him, Nathan, Haley, Peyton, Mouth, Bevin, Skills, Rachel, Chase, Brooke and a few other people at the graduation party. Even though the photograph was less than ten years old, it was well worn and creased, but seeing the smiling, hopeful faces of all his friends filled him with dormant memories that translated into inspiration.

And just like that, he pulled out the computer he hadn't touched in almost two years and as if at their own accord, his hands started typing and his mind began making sense again

Now, almost seven hours later Lucas leaned back against his swivel chair and cracked his back, realizing that not only had his stomach been growling for the last couple of hours, because he had missed lunch but his back was killing him from being in the same position for most of the day.

It seemed extremely ironic to him that he had spent a year searching for inspiration all over the country, but when he had given up on his writing, he found a muse in the people he had lost touch with so unfortunately: his closest friends.

And suddenly, his triumphant mood had changed as he realized that he had no idea what Mouth was doing nowadays except that he was married to Millicent and presumably living in New York. He also had no idea what Skillz was up to, and although he'd tried relentlessly for too long, he knew nothing of Peyton's whereabouts. As much as Lucas tried to not feel guilty, what hit him the most was the realization that he hadn't spoken to his best friend and brother in a little over a month, and that was simply inexcusable.

Ignoring his spontaneity, Lucas reached for the IPhone on the desk, intent on calling Haley and Nathan, when as if by some clairvoyance the device vibrated in his hand, signaling an incoming phone call.

The number was blocked but he picked up anyway, surprised to hear a not so familiar voice on the other end, "Lucas, hey it's Rachel, Rachel Gatina."

Today had been a weird day to say the least, but hearing from Rachel really knocked Lucas off guard. They were not close friends at all during high school, but somewhere along the way Brooke and her became close and Lucas had always trusted Brooke's choice of friends so he warmed up to the redhead.

"Rachel, hi, how are you doing?"

Standing in Brooke's kitchen and nervously flicking her nails against the marble counter, Rachel was surprised that Lucas was talking to her so nonchalantly, from what she surmised, Brooke did not tell Lucas she was in the city.

"I'm great. I'm actually in San Francisco. I'm staying at Brooke's for a while."

"Oh really? Well this is a small world but I ran into her yesterday and we had dinner. She didn't mention you coming actually."

" Yeah, I was supposed to join you two but my flight was delayed and I came this morning. Anyway I called because I know you're going to New York permanently in a few days and even though we weren't the best of friends I thought we'd catch up."

"Oh." Lucas was a bit taken aback by the invitation only because it seemed like Rachel was asking him to hang out and there was no mention of Brooke. For some reason it didn't feel right.

As if sensing his hesitation, Rachel added, "Brooke will be there of course. She actually just booked us a table at Otis, a favorite club of hers and we want to meet there at around 9:30 tonight. Are you interested?"

Lucas let out a sigh of relief but also realized what Rachel was asking of him. He had been to clubs with Brooke many times and usually it ended up with either one of them or both completely shit faced and hooking up in a dark corner.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." He said and they bid each other good-bye.

God, what was he getting himself into?

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	6. Chapter 6: Never Friends

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews. I have a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Things finally start moving along, but I'm pretty sure you will all be pissed at me. But! Don't worry; this is a hardcore Brucas through and through. You'll see what I mean in the next chapters. For now, enjoy!

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Chapter 6: Never Friends

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The first mistake Lucas made that night was taking a cab instead of driving. This left him with virtually no responsibilities and the ability to consume as much alcohol as he wanted. The whole way to the club he tried to rationalize leaving his car at home but he knew all along that no matter what excuses he made, the only reason he decided not to drive was because he wanted to leave the door wide open for anything to happen. He just wasn't quite sure what that "anything" was.

He paid the driver and walked out, ending up in a dark alley but he followed the faint thumping of music to his destination. Otis was a hidden gem, situated in the Financial District; its entrance was discreet and not discernible from the outside. The bouncer checked his ID and Lucas breezed through the narrow, dimly lit hallway, into a wide room half of which was occupied by a bar that was covered entirely in glass mirrors and black marble. He slid up onto a free barstool on the side and ordered a Belvedere and tonic. He hadn't seen Brooke or Rachel yet but it was right on time, which probably meant he'd have to wait for the girls for about half an hour.

He sat sipping on his drink, enjoying the fizzing concoction when he made the second mistake of the night. He turned his head.

The first thing he saw was a pair of legs he would recognize anywhere. Crimson colored toes clad in silver stilettos first caught his eye and he willed himself not to look further on, but he couldn't because there they were: those magnificent legs. The legs that reminded him of his old station wagon and the naked cheerleader in his backseat, the legs that took him back to the first time he had sex and those lovely, creamy, unbelievably smooth legs wrapped around his waist, but most of all those legs brought back memories of the girl who stole his heart and, as he was now slowly realizing, refused to give it back.

Brooke walked carefully down the carpeted stairs, holding her Blackberry in one hand, intent on making a phone call to one blond writer who seemed to be late to everything she invited him to lately. Although she had mixed feelings about seeing Luke tonight, she decided she would play it cool and not act all hot and cold like she had with Rachel earlier. After taking a soothing bubble bath that afternoon, Brooke apologized to her redheaded roommate and they had a genuine conversation about it.

Brooke finally admitted to herself and to Rachel that although she was sure she had no romantic feelings for Lucas Scott; their history was making her extremely nervous. The way her and Lucas had played out left room for possibilities and as much as she wanted to pretend that them running into each other was just a coincidence, what didn't sit well with her was that they were both single and it just seemed that fate was playing tricks with her. So she intended to fight back, starting with a killer outfit from her very own collection and red tinted smile, oh and a lot of alcohol.

However, as soon as she saw him, sitting there at the bar, his hand loosely wrapped around a highball and a completely distant gaze in his magnetic blue eyes, she knew she was in trouble. When he turned and looked at her, Brooke felt the air knocked out of her and for a moment she felt the fire emanating from his look run through her entire body. But that lasted for a split second and she knew immediately that he was sizing her up and found a sadistic pleasure in watching him let out a breath and gulp whatever was left of the clear liquid in his glass.

It was good to know that she wasn't the only one extremely confused and at the same time intrigued by their situation.

"Well, well, look who decided to show up late, yet again." Brooke stepped down and even though she was in high heels, she still had look up at him in order to meet his gaze.

Lucas smirked, "Actually, I've been here for a while, I just figured you would be late."

"That doesn't seem fair. You were the one late yesterday. Shouldn't I have been awarded some leniency?" Brooke crossed her arms.

"Just because I was late once does not excuse you being late for the three years I knew you in high school and then some." Lucas joked but Brooke visibly frowned and then she remembered her promise to herself to act aloof today and smiled instantly.

"Do you feel like some champagne?" She asked, walking closer to the bar.

"Yes, bring on the bubbly." Lucas smiled, thinking to himself that more alcohol would be the only way he could maintain his cool while she was in that black miniskirt.

TTTTTT

It seemed like in the hour and a half they'd been sitting at a small table upstairs, they had finished an entire bottle of champagne and talked about everything under the sun.

For the first time, Lucas was having an uninhibited good time, not worrying about his upcoming move or his inability to finish a second novel, but genuinely enjoying himself in the presence of two beautiful women who knew him from his days as Lucas Scott, the unexpected basketball star and aspiring writer. They knew his true self and he knew no matter what he could be himself around them and for a second Lucas couldn't even believe that he spent the whole time after Rachel's phone call worrying about interacting with Brooke for the night.

Unfortunately, the third mistake Lucas made was assuming way too quickly in his already tipsy stupor that by some twist of fate, Brooke Davis was going to just let him off the hook.

"You know as fun as this is, I think we should all go dance."

Spotting a devilish glint in her chocolate eyes, Lucas inwardly groaned, knowing that if he went on that dance floor with Brooke Davis he might not come back alive.

"I think I'll sit this one out." He leaned back on his chair, "You girls enjoy."

"Nonsense!" Rachel exclaimed and Lucas was surprised.

The second he saw Rachel, the look on her face told him everything he needed to know. The redhead was well aware of two things. First of all, she could see right through his act and into his anxiety and secondly, she secretly let him know that he wasn't the only one worried about seeing his high school sweetheart again.

So her sudden encouragement was unnerving, yet Lucas was determined to continue enjoying himself and if that meant dancing with a pair of good-looking women, he had no problem with that.

In his rumination, Lucas didn't even feel himself being pulled up and dragged to the dance floor until he was sandwiched in between Brooke and Rachel, who he was sure were sending each other sneaky glances over his shoulder.

A few minutes of pulsating music passed by and Lucas suddenly felt warmth leave his back. He turned around and spotted Rachel dancing with another equally attractive guy. The redhead seemed more in her element than anyone and for a second Lucas began to wonder where she had disappeared to after her last rehab stint. Lucas didn't have time to think as he felt a small but extremely warm hand snake up his stomach and around his shoulders.

Lucas looked down and smiled in spite of himself. There Brooke was, everything familiar about her was shining in the dim light. Everything Lucas remembered about her was still there and it had not changed much except that for some reason or another she could not hide the maturity in her eyes or the smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes unless she was inebriated, like she was now.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked in her low raspy voice and Lucas swore he could feel shivers down his spine.

"Just you." He whispered back, and as soon as he said it, he regretted it. This was exactly what he didn't want to happen. He didn't want to be vulnerable or honest. He didn't want to succumb to her unintentional sex appeal. Most of all he didn't want to just sleep with her and leave in a couple of days, and the way her body was pressed up against his and heat of her breath on his shoulder warned Lucas that if he didn't stop this now, they would end up in a cab going back to her place without Rachel.

"What about me?" Brooke raised her eyebrow, probably knowing fully well the affect she was having on Luke.

"Nothing, just how funny it is that here we are ten years later and life keeps throwing us back together." He knew it was corny and cheesy and everything under the sun that could be described as remotely the opposite of cool, but he couldn't help himself, because here she was in all her Brooke Davis glory and history was repeating itself.

"You must be sober to be acting so nostalgic. Let me get you something stronger than champagne." Brooke distanced herself a little, but Lucas grabbed onto her waist, drawing her closer.

"If you want me to have something stronger then you should stay." He said suggestively, but without even a hint of a smile and this time it was Brooke who was visibly nervous.

"Lucas." She said sternly, refusing to meet his eye but also not stepping away from him again, "You know-…"

"Know what? That this is wrong?" He chuckled somewhat dryly in her ear, "Is that why you are wearing that skirt? So you can taunt and tease me all night long?" He asked and it was becoming extremely painful for Brooke to maintain her cool. He was too close, too warm, and too _familiar_. As if all her senses had suddenly come alive, she could smell a hint of his cologne and feel his heat through his black button down.

"Lucas, I'm just wearing an outfit for going out." Brooke replied back, but they both knew she was lying.

"So if I do this-…" He reached down and grazed the edge of her leather skirt, paying more attention to her creamy, tanned skin than the material, "you're telling me you didn't plan it?"

Brooke looked him square in the eye and knew that he was challenging her every move. And so far he was winning.

"I might not have planned it, but I did enjoy it." She purred back, relying on her sexuality to pull her through, but Lucas knew all her tactics, hell he was the reason for all her defenses and she knew that she wasn't thinking clearly and needed to get out of this embrace before she did something they would regret.

"I bet you did." Lucas smirked back, expecting Brooke to make the next move, but surprisingly, she slipped out of his arms, keeping her eyes on him the whole time.

He looked confused for a second and most of all adorable so Brooke took pity on him and pulled him off the dance floor with her.

"Let's get some pizza." She said suddenly, "I haven't had dinner."

Lucas followed her and couldn't help but smile triumphantly. She backed out, she ran away from him instead of facing the situation at hand and since it was so unlike Brooke Davis to shy away from anything, to Lucas this was proof that this wasn't just a game and that she was experiencing the same anxiety as he was.

"Sure, let's just get Rachel." Lucas turned back to the dance floor but Brooke tugged his hand back, "C'mon Luke, I doubt she will mind." Brooke motioned to where Rachel was having an intense conversation with the dark haired guy she was dancing with earlier.

When she saw Lucas and Brooke watching her, she waved them off with her hand and continued talking to her new friend. In spite of himself, Lucas smiled back widely at her and waited as Brooke pulled a black jacket over her glittery top.

"Let's go Broody." She said and pulled him down the stairs.

It seemed so normal to be leaving the club with her that Lucas ignored all his earlier warnings to himself and followed Brooke out without another thought.

That was probably his fourth mistake that night.

But who was counting.

TTTTTTT

"I'm so hungry." Brooke whined, while searching in her purse for the keys.

"Well then maybe you should open the door faster." Lucas replied back, holding an extra large pizza box as he balanced himself on the top step of the porch.

"Got them." Brooke said and quickly opened the door, but not before noting how ridiculous they looked with a huge pizza box and slight swaying. Thankfully there had been no one on her block outside, because they would have looked extremely inebriated and ridiculous to a passer by.

While Brooke mused, Lucas walked into the house and was overcome with how distinctly it was decorated and furnished. Everything in the living room and from what he could see of the kitchen screamed of Brooke. The sharp maroon wall paint contrasted perfectly with the beige furniture theme in the living room. Absent mindedly, Lucas set the pizza box on the kitchen counter and walked towards an array of photographs on the coffee table. He picked up one that was particularly familiar, as it was the identical to the creased photo he found in his Salinger book.

"You kept this photo?" He mused, not taking his eyes off the ten people and their wide, naïve smiles.

"Of course I did." Brooke nodded, taking off her light, black jacket and expensive heels, "You know just because I never made it back to the river court like we promised, doesn't mean I don't think about it every single day." She said, walking up behind him.

Lucas heard her approaching, but when he turned around he wasn't ready for the close proximity between them. Now in the quite confines of her warm home, without the pulsating music and inebriated bodies around them, it seemed like they were crossing some sort of invisible boundary that they themselves had laid out years ago. And although it should have felt incredibly wrong and extremely uncomfortable, Lucas found himself leaning into her body unconsciously.

Brooke on the other hand found nothing wrong with the closeness with her former boyfriend. In a way, this was familiar in a completely different way to her than it should have been. The heat radiating off of him mixed with the slight cloudiness of her inebriated mind had been a common recipe for her weekends during high school, but it had been long before she met Lucas and she should have known better than to fall into a familiarity that had nothing to do with him.

But of course, Brooke Davis was nothing if not impulsive and stubborn, and if she wanted Lucas, she would get him.

Therefore, driven by a sudden hunger, she refused to look up at him but instead ran her perfectly manicured nails up and down his front, before settling on a black button and looping it in her fingers to undo it, but before she could successfully complete her task, she felt his hand reach up to steady her ministrations.

"Brooke, what are you doing?" He asked and in his voice she could sense a hint of faltering. She knew he wanted her but was too scared to wonder if it was because of the alcohol and loneliness or because his feelings for her resurfaced.

It was funny how in her most drunken moment, where her mind could not have been more mottled, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again. In a way, this made it incredibly difficult for her to deny later on, when she would remember this exact moment, that she ever felt that Lucas was over her and she was over him.

Even in her darkest moment, Brooke never ever forgot that Lucas had changed her world. She had him to thank in part for the almost fearless woman she was today.

"_Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday, and I'm not sure she even knows it." _

But she was "almost" fearless, because of him. Because in the back of her mind, Brooke had and always would wonder if he ever let go of his feelings for her. She wondered that when she was with Chase, when Lucas came to see her in New York after breaking up with Peyton, and she especially wondered about it the night she left Tree Hill for the second time without uttering a word to anyone.

And now, with her hands braced at his shirt buttons, and his gentle but halting grip on her wrist, Brooke was wondering the same thing she had wondered over the last ten years.

Had Lucas ever stopped loving her?

If she knew, it would make it a lot easier to answer his question.

But she didn't.

"I don't know." She mumbled, and the moment of drunken curiosity was gone. She let go of his shirt and he released her hands in the process. She was suddenly very cold.

"I'm going to change." She stepped further away from him.

Lucas was scratching the back of his head and Brooke couldn't help but feel reminiscent. When Lucas was nervous he always touched his hair, whether to run his fingers through it, or just rub the back of his neck in confusion.

At least certain things about him were constant.

"The pizza is going to get cold. You don't have to wait for me." She said, her voice softened considerably after seeing Luke so nervous. At least she wasn't alone.

"No." He replied hurriedly and Brooke felt a surge of warmth spread through her body. His voice was laced with anxiety and confusion, he was just as lost as she was and she knew they both had absolutely no explanation for what was happening between them.

"Okay." She nodded and walked to her bedroom, suddenly frustrated with herself for interrupting their moment, or maybe she was irritated with Lucas's rationality. As she untied her backless top, she silently accepted that if he hadn't halted her moments and just let events unfold by themselves, he would be the one taking off her shirt.

Brooke was so immersed in her thought; she was completely startled by Lucas when he spoke behind her.

"I'm leaving in exactly three days." He said and a shiver ran through Brooke's body when she heard the sternness with which he spoke.

"I know." She turned around, glad that he hadn't walked in when she was half naked, otherwise they wouldn't be doing a whole lot of talking now.

"So why the fuck are you doing this to me?" Lucas asked coldly, his fists visibly clenching at his side and even in the semi dark Brooke could tell his blue eyes were getting darker, and not with arousal but with anger and familiar frustration.

But she was frustrated too. _So_ frustrated.

"And what are you accusing me of exactly?" she asked, trying her best to put forth a façade that many people not close to her were acquainted with in high school: the "bitchy" Brooke.

"This." He gestured towards her, and she looked down at her attire, a skimpy tank top and the mini from the club, "You couldn't leave well enough alone. Could you?" he asked angrily.

And suddenly Brooke didn't like what he was implying, but she remained quiet, waiting to see if he was really going to take it so far.

"You couldn't have left it at a lunch and dinner. You had to invite me tonight, and through Rachel of all people. You had to wear the sexiest outfit known to man, and get me on the dance floor to seduce me even further-…"

"Oh god Lucas. Can you be a little bit more mature? I wanted to see an old friend-…"

"Like hell you did." Lucas said and in spite of himself, stepped closer to his former girlfriend, "You and I were never friends Brooke. You remember what happened right before you left Tree Hill four years ago? You know I could never resist you." He whispered the last part as if it were the deepest secret of his soul now being revealed and it might as well have been, because this was the first time he had admitted it out loud.

However, Brooke's humorless laugh resonated through the silent room and broke his reverie.

"You could resist me very well when you were with Peyton. Both times." She reminded dryly, "and you could resist me when you were having a one night stand with Nikki."

"Brooke don't throw that in my face. I was young and incredibly stupid."

"Yeah and what's your excuse for New York? Or even after Lindsay left you. What was your excuse then?" Brooke asked and Lucas suddenly regretted opening this painful can of worms.

It was his fault for even agreeing to go with her and Rachel out tonight. He knew where they would end up and in what condition. He knew he could never control himself when it came to Brooke and even if he were sober, he'd still probably be here.

"Have you noticed how you and alcohol go hand in hand for me?" Lucas asked, smiling somewhat sadly as he realized that the two days he'd been out with her, he had been more drunk then he had been in the passed year.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "It's not my fault you don't let yourself unwind unless I'm there."

"It's more for the company." Lucas replied and when Brooke looked up and their eyes locked, she knew he meant it.

They were quiet for sometime after that, Lucas was relieved Brooke allowed him to change the subject but he felt like the last time he saw her, they had left a lot of things unanswered and he didn't want to be responsible for another five years of not seeing her.

"Let's not rehash the past." Brooke spoke before him, making him feel even guiltier for bringing anything up and blaming his lack of self-control on Brooke's natural sensuality.

It was definitely not her fault that he could never resist her, high school and after.

"I'm sorry I even brought anything up." He supplied earnestly, hoping it would be enough.

And although they both knew it wasn't, Brooke realized that he was leaving in less than 72 hours and she did not want this to be the way she remembered their chance meeting in San Francisco months or even years from now.

"It's okay. We'll blame it on the alcohol." She shrugged it off, although Lucas knew she was still mulling over what he had accused her of.

With Brooke, her emotions were virtually indecipherable if she did not want you to see them, but in this vulnerable moment, she was completely exposed to him and he could tell she herself did not know whether she had wanted to take things to the next level so quickly.

She had every intention of taking his shirt off less than ten minutes before, but now she wasn't so sure if she wanted to or not.

So she did the only thing she could think of and what seemed the most rational.

"Friends?"

She offered him her friendship.

"Friends." Lucas accepted eagerly, although as he followed her into the kitchen for some much needed pizza, his earlier words echoed in his mind.

_"You and I were never friends."_

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	7. Chapter 7: Exactly What I'm Not

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews! This chapter is pretty short, but only because it sets up the inevitable confrontation that will take place next. I wanted to clarify what I meant by Lucas thinking that Brooke and him were never friends. It's not supposed to be a bad thing; he just acknowledges that he never had a strictly platonic relationship with Brooke and that it is now becoming even more apparent. I'm only clarifying because it will come up in this chapter. Anyway, here's the Rachel we all know and love. Take Care!

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Chapter 7: Exactly What I'm Not

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When Rachel tiptoed into the house, the sun was already peeking over the horizon. Holding her sandals in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other, she wouldn't have noticed the sleeping occupant in the living room if she hadn't tripped over a man's shoe that was scattered on the floor.

Looking up, she noticed a familiar form sprawled on the couch, covered with a light pink duvet. She couldn't resist a laugh when she heard a light snore coming from the man on the sofa and began to wonder where her temporary roommate was.

That's when she saw another familiar form curled up on the lounge chair on the balcony and after pouring herself a cup of coffee, Rachel stepped outside.

"I thought I'd find you here." She said instead of a hello and Brooke looked up at her with a half smile, "Rough night?" Rachel teased as she sat down next to her friend.

"New habits in exchange for old ones?" Brooke asked, completely avoiding the question.

Rachel rolled her eyes and lit a cigarette, "Judging by how you decided to ignore my question, would you like one?" She asked, extending the pack to Brooke.

"Oh, what the hell." The usually health conscious fashion designer accepted a cigarette and lit it.

"Goes really well with coffee." Rachel added, taking a sip from the mug on the little table separating the two friends.

Brooke nodded and the two women sat in comfortable silence, flicking off ashes into the early morning air.

"So how do you like San Francisco so far?" Brooke asked teasingly, no doubt referring to the dark haired gentleman Rachel was with the whole night.

"It's good. Very tall, dark, and handsome." Rachel replied, catching on quickly.

It had always been that way for the two of them, even when they were having problems, they always somehow managed to pick up right where they left off, and no extra words were necessary.

"Yeah. I'm sure he gave you a warm welcome." Brooke continued and Rachel almost blushed.

"Do not even go there." Rachel warned jokingly, "Because I've got something in the living room that I could so use against you right now." She added and Brooke immediately frowned.

Taking a long pull from her cigarette and sip of coffee, Brooke asked, "What was his name? Or did you not get it?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Yes, I did get it. His name is Danny and he's a web designer."

"Oooh." Brooke raised her eyebrow. Obviously, she had not been expecting a response. If there was anything her and Rachel had in common when it came to random hook ups, it was that neither one bothered with names. It usually just overcomplicated things.

"Yeah and I'm having lunch with him in a couple of hours, so I better go and get some beauty sleep, what's your day look like?"

Brooke was a bit surprised that Rachel relented so easily and did not question her about Lucas, but she replied anyway, "I'm supposed to meet with my decorator and renovation team at 11 today, then I'll probably work on some sketches."

"Oh, okay. How about I meet you at the warehouse after my lunch date?"

"Sure. I might need some advice on how to design the studio. I don't really have a clear vision in mind yet." Brooke admitted, gently flicking some ash over the ledge.

Rachel nodded and was about to go back inside but she hesitated. Brooke noticed this and felt a familiar knot forming in the pit of her stomach.

"Look, I care about you." Rachel began, "You know that right?"

Brooke nodded, but didn't say anything, preferring to pay more attention to her cigarette.

"Our friendship has been through hell and back. You are the only constant in my otherwise screwed up life and you know the only other thing that I know that is constant in your life besides your work is the guy that's sleeping on your couch right now."

Brooke opened her mouth to protest, but Rachel halted her, "I'm not finished. But as much as he may continue to pop up unexpectedly whenever you feel like you got your life back on track, this thing you guys have going. The constant back and forth and sad attempts at being friends is not healthy. Every time you and him get together, you know how it goes."

"Rachel, you do not need to remind me. Trust me." it was Brooke's turn to talk.

"Do you know how hard it is for me? This whole thing? Seeing him again, knowing that he's going to leave and we're going to be on opposites sides of the country again."

Rachel frowned as she realized how much seeing Lucas again was affecting Brooke in the worst ways possible.

"Brooke. Do you still love him?"

Rachel knew it was a stupid question to ask but she couldn't help it. Every time Brooke and her talked about Lucas, it had always seemed like a given that the former had not given up on her high school love, but Rachel sensed that there was something deeper behind it.

Meanwhile, Brooke laughed a little inappropriately as she flicked the cigarette off the ledge.

"Honestly, I have no idea." Rachel raised an eyebrow, but didn't interrupt her friend's train of thought.

"You know when I was still with Chase, I would always wonder if Lucas and I could ever be together, but it was never about loving him, it was more about curiosity. Even when he propositioned me after breaking up with Peyton, I could still rationalize it and blame it on the alcohol, but after Lindsay left him. After that time, I just, I can't believe we didn't work out." Brooke's voice was quieter now, softer even as if she were afraid that if she spoke too loudly about it, it would be even more painful.

But she was wrong, recalling those memories was painful either way. Talking about them did not change anything.

"I just can't believe the idiot went back to Peyton. Is he a glutton for punishment or just a dimwit?" Rachel asked, somewhat sarcastically and Brooke chuckled in spite herself.

"No, far from it. Lucas is an intelligent person and from what I understand he didn't go back to Peyton even after so much drama."

"Really? I thought he had."

"No. He told me over lunch yesterday that he didn't but that he tried to be friends with her, and she didn't want to." Brooke explained.

"Well I'm not surprised. Those two were never meant to be together. I love them both dearly, but c'mon. They're like carbon copies of each other." Rachel exclaimed.

"Rach, it doesn't matter. With or without Peyton, I was never it for Lucas. He might not have went back to her, but Peyton is and always was to Lucas what he is to me." Brooke said somewhat nostalgically.

"And what is that?" The redhead asked quietly.

"A dream. Something that we wish for that might not be as perfect as we had originally hoped. But people are such strange creatures, we are stubborn and keep pushing and hoping we could get exactly what we wished for. It just doesn't always turn out that way."

"Well." Rachel sighed, "You're an example of someone who got the career she wished for and the great friends she deserves, so I don't see why you can't get Lucas if you want him."

"It's not that simple Rachel."

"It is to me." She replied and Brooke frowned, why did her friend have the unnatural ability to simplify everything and make her feel overly dramatic.

"Brooke. There is no Peyton, Chase, Tree Hill, or even Lindsay to chase you away this time. And don't tell me you came to San Francisco for inspiration. You're here because it's easier to be away from all the publicity and hype in New York, where every other interviewer asks you why you aren't in a relationship. I get it. I'm the queen of running away from my problems but eventually, they will catch up with you and it looks like yours was handed to you on a silver platter back there." Rachel pointed to the living room, of which a bit could be seen from the balcony.

"I don't know Rach. I cannot get hurt again. I keep doing this to myself. You're right, it isn't healthy but I don't know how to deal with it, with him. I've never felt so lost and frustrated at the same time. It's just not normal to be so attached to someone and not even know it until you run into them randomly." She admitted, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

"I know it's hard, but you need to think about what you want out of this. Do you want this to just be another unhealthy encounter with him or do you want it to mean something?"

"We agreed to be friends last night. It seems like that is all I can offer right now." Brooke conceded, although judging by the look in Rachel's eye, the brunette knew her friend was disappointed.

"Brooke, you can tell me all you want about Lucas and exactly what you mean to each other, but let's get one thing straight."

"You and Lucas were never friends."

"See, that's exactly what I'm afraid of." Brooke replied and the two friends shared a much-needed laugh.

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	8. Chapter 8: Give Me A Whisper

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews! This chapter is pretty intense and I really hope you guys don't hate me for the ending. I had trouble writing it but I hope it doesn't show, because it was also one of my favorite scenes. Finals are upon us so I'm not sure when the next update will be, but hopefully in a couple days' time. Enjoy!

Song: "Don't Cry" Guns & Roses

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Chapter 6: Give Me A Whisper

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The first thing Lucas noticed when he woke up was the scent that enveloped his surroundings. Instead of the usual septic smell of his barely lived in apartment, the room had a light, floral scent to it, a mix of vanilla, lavender, and a distinct smell of something baking in the oven.

He shifted on the couch and realized that the feminine smell that surrounded him was coming from the pink blanket Brooke draped over him sometime after he fell asleep. The thought of his ex girlfriend quickly prompted him to get up and he must have caught her attention, because Brooke suddenly spoke,

"Look who finally woke up." Brooke teased while pulling a tray from the oven and setting the piping hot cinnamon rolls onto the counter. The smell invaded Lucas's nostrils and he suddenly felt like he was back home, on a Sunday morning and his mom was waiting for him in the kitchen with a glass of orange juice and a cinnamon bun, which he would devour after his early morning work out.

"God that smells like mom's." He murmured and Brooke smiled,

"It should, I used her recipe." She replied and Lucas finally looked at her. She was dressed in a simple green tank top and dark blue jeans, a far cry from the outfits he'd seen her in the previous two days. Lucas found that despite how incredibly alluring she looked in all the stylish clothing she designed, he preferred her the way she was now, without any makeup and dressed down. Before letting his mind wander, Lucas got up and stretched. It seemed so unnatural for him to sleep passed 7am these days, and not be at the office by 8:30. But he reasoned that with the stressful week coming up in just a couple of days, he could let himself sleep passed 8 am.

"Want some coffee?" Brooke asked, while continuing to transfer perfectly browned treats onto a big platter.

"Yeah, but I'll get it myself." Lucas walked over to the percolator in the corner. Brooke watched him as he leaned against the counter and sipped the dark liquid. Sometime the night before, his button down made it to the back of the couch and now he was in a white t-shirt and jeans, looking to all the world like he belonged nowhere else but her kitchen.

"So not that I'm not totally excited about eating those, I have to ask. Since when do you cook, let alone bake?" Lucas asked, taking another sip of coffee.

Brooke laughed to herself as she finished placing the last of the baked goods on the platter and reached for the bowl of homemade sugar glaze she made while waiting for the cinnamon buns to rise.

"After living in New York for a few years, I gained a ridiculous amount of weight from all the take out I was getting and all the booze I was consuming at fashion shows, so I decided to try my hand at cooking, because for a couple of years when the label was just starting out, I barely ever had time to work out, let alone cook."

"But you made time right?" Lucas asked, completely disbelieving that Brooke could ever gain weight and even if she did, she would still look beautiful.

"Yup, so now I get to spend extra calories on booze." Brooke winked and began applying glaze to the cooled buns.

Lucas put his coffee cup down and walked over to her, "Need some help?" He asked, but as soon as he came up, Brooke noticed the familiar silver chain dangling from his neck.

"You still wear them?" she asked, setting the glaze aside to gently finger the dog tags hanging on the end of the chain.

Lucas ignored the warning feeling in his stomach and moved a step closer. Her fingers were on his chest again and the easy silence of the house reminded him all too well of the scene that unfolded in her living room the night before. And while he had exercised self-control then, he wasn't so sure he could this time.

"Yeah, I do." He replied quietly, his voice a little above a whisper.

"I bet it only gets harder to forget." She sympathized and Lucas reasoned that she spoke from experience.

"I'm not sure I want to forget." He said instead, unconsciously taking her warm hand in his, "I always want to remember him and the lessons he taught me, because without him I would not be where I am today." Lucas was now close enough to her that he could feel her breath on his face.

"And where is that?" She asked frighteningly, deathly afraid of the close proximity they were in.

"Realizing all my dreams." Lucas replied and before Brooke could even blink, he leaned in and faintly brushed his lips against hers. It was as if he knew he had crossed a line they had set even before seeing each other again. Brooke looked at him with wide, anxious eyes, but did not pull back. Instead she pressed her body closer to his, yearning for the heat radiating off of his t-shirt clad chest. Lucas watched her nervously, hoping he wasn't causing her additional anxiety. Obviously, he was wrong and raised his arms, running his hands up and down the sides of her body, trying to soothe her. Little did he know, he was driving her crazy with want, especially when he began to talk.

_Talk to me softly  
There is something in your eyes_

"I can't be friends with you Brooke." He whispered against her lips, while pulling her closer by her waist. Although her eyes had doubt in them, her body was betraying her by relaxing further into his embrace. Brooke was so intoxicated by his scent, his eyes, and lips that she lost all rationale. The self-protected Brooke who always appeared when Lucas was around was replaced by a Brooke who wanted nothing more but to be with the man in front of her.

It scared her that for so many years she spent healing her broken heart and in just a few days Lucas managed to weasel his way back in. Most of all, she was afraid that her resolve was weakening so quickly. Although in retrospect, she should have seen it coming when she first saw him. She could excuse her rash behavior in New York when she let him kiss her after the book release party and she could almost excuse what happened in Tree Hill four years ago, because she really did not see it coming, but this…

If she let him in again, she could officially call herself the dumbest masochist on earth.

But staring into his eyes, with her hands grasping the sides of his face, Brooke knew that whatever logic she had a few minutes prior was nonexistent and she relented, "It's okay." She said, hopping onto the counter behind her and pulling him into her body with her legs, "I don't think I want to be your friend anyway." She admitted with a smile and pulled him in for a kiss.

The kiss was familiar and intense. Brooke marveled at just how recognizable his lips have been even after all these years. He tasted like bitter morning coffee and stale alcohol from the night before but she didn't care. For as long as the kiss lasted, she let herself believe that things would turn out better this time. After all maybe Rachel was right. With no Peyton, Tree Hill, or Chase around to complicate matters, they could be all right.

Lucas pulled back first, but not for long. He planted a chaste kiss on her cheek and rested his forehead against hers, "I want it to be different this time. I promise it will be." He said quietly, but at the mention of promises, Brooke immediately stiffened.

She tried to avoid eye contact, because she knew she would break down if she looked into his baby blues. Four years of building walls and safely cocooning herself in work and distractions would come crashing down if she looked at him.

"Brooke, what's wrong?"

She did look at him then and found a fraction of the man she was used to. He looked somehow weak and vulnerable. His child like features were suddenly most prevalent on his face, and she couldn't help but run her fingers across his cheek, and rub his shoulder through the thin cotton.

"This is wrong Luke." She whispered, and he wished he hadn't heard her.

In all honesty, he had to agree with her. The sheer absurdity of the situation and the speed with which they ended up tangled in each other was overwhelming and seemingly unnatural. But he had to make her understand that this might have been unusual for another couple, but not for them.

They were Broody and Cheery. Brooke and Lucas. Head cheerleader and Basketball Star.

Washed up writer and successful fashion designer?

Now that didn't fit the pattern that their lives had outlined thus far and Lucas seemed somehow unnerved by that.

"Don't you find it funny that it took us three months to get together four years ago and this time it took us three days?" He asked, scratching his eyebrow.

_Don't hang your head in sorrow  
And please don't cry_

Brooke laughed and looked down at her toes. By this time Lucas had stepped back a bit, no doubt to give her space, but she missed his body pressed against her.

"Yeah, maybe next time it'll take us only three hours." She teased and Lucas joined in with a timid chuckle. Yet just as quickly as the mood lightened, tension settled between them. Brooke felt like a schoolgirl sitting on the counter like that, so she hopped back down and leaned against it.

"You're leaving in a couple of days." She declared as if Lucas had not just been contemplating that very problem.

"What if I don't?" He asked, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. The look of annoyance on Brooke's face became all the more apparent.

"Don't be stupid Lucas. I know this is your dream. New York, your own publishing company, your first real successful client-…"

"You. You're part of my dream too." The blonde exclaimed, running his fingers through his hair.

Brooke was a bit taken aback by his admission, but nonetheless memories from the last time they'd been in this position came flooding over her and she was not at all impressed.

"I'm not sure if you remember Lucas, but I've heard that before. It didn't end pleasantly last time."

"You left." Lucas shot back, angry that she was throwing his passed mistakes into his face, "You left without so much as a goodbye or a see ya later Luke. You gave up on us. Not me."

"Right." Brooke rolled her eyes, "It's always me right?"

She grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and walked out to the balcony, hoping that being in an open space would make her feel less claustrophobic than the kitchen.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucas followed her without hesitation.

"Nothing, Luke. You should have known that I would not leave if I had a reason to stay, and since the adoption agency rejected me and the man I had slept with not 24hours before was kissing my best friend the next day, I pretty much assumed no one would miss me." Brooke said sarcastically and Lucas paled slightly at her confession.

_I know how you feel inside I've  
I've been there before_

"What? I never kissed-…"

"Yeah, you did. It was in her office at Tric." Brooke countered and when Lucas looked at her, she knew he remembered.

"Brooke, you don't understand. Peyton kissed me. She asked me to meet her at her office and I was ready to tell her what had happened between us the night before, but instead she caught me off guard and kissed me."

"And what? You couldn't push her off?"

Lucas remained quiet; he really had nothing to respond with. The memory of that day rushed back to him and he knew he had no excuse for letting history repeat itself.

"Brooke, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. Peyton was so tenacious back then, especially after Lindsay left me. She just kept at it, she was so persistent."

"Yeah. I know she was. And I was just a pity fuck, because you felt bad that my stupid mother ruined my chances of adopting." Brooke took a huge swig from the water bottle and reached over to the pack of cigarettes Rachel left on the patio.

"Brooke you were never a pity fuck. If anything, you were doing me a favor." Lucas stepped closer to her, but Brooke put her hand up.

"No, don't try your flattery bullshit with me. I gave you so many fucking chances and all three of them you screwed up. You chose Peyton over me and I don't even fucking blame her for being persistent. I just blame myself for letting you get to me then, and trust me it will not happen this time." She said and with false confidence oozing out of her voice, Brooke could almost believe herself.

But it was too late. He had already gotten to her. Her hands were already shaking as she tried to light a cigarette and the hot sting of tears was inevitable.

_Something is changing' inside you  
And don't you know_

Lucas was dumbfounded. He did have no excuse but she had to believe him. It had always been her. His break up with Peyton was indicative of just how doomed his relationship was with the leggy blond.

On the other hand, the fact that life kept throwing him back together with his pretty girl just showed that someone up there was thinking about them.

"You're right. I have no excuse and you have given me more than enough chances. But I know you still have feelings for me and by god I have no shame in admitting that I haven't felt this way about anybody but you. You have to believe me."

"I do Luke. I believe you, but I have to look out for myself. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I can't just give you everything I would have given to you even four years ago. You lost your chance with me."

"No I haven't."

"Yes, you have." Brooke shot back; internally she was screaming the opposite. She was begging for Lucas not to give up, to fight, to push right back at her, but she could also see his resolve weakening.

He was getting tired of her pushing him away.

_Don't you cry tonight  
I still love you baby  
Don't you cry tonight_

"You keep pushing me away Brooke, but for some reason we keep popping up in each others' lives and that has got to mean something."

Brooke knew he was down to his last ammunition.

In the morning sun, he didn't look like the confident, young man he usually would. Instead he looked broken, distraught, confused. Anything but confident, but Brooke couldn't feel bad for him, because in feeling sorry for him, she would let her guard down and be the one hurt in the end.

She had let him in before and he used her, took her for granted, despite his best intentions.

"You know Luke. I just think the best way to deal with this is to remember how much we've hurt each other in the past and move on. This, this running in circles is not good for us. It's unhealthy. It certainly not conducive to remaining friends."

"Friends? Friends Brooke? Are you seriously going to resort to that?" He asked, angered by her sudden change of mood.

"I know it might not work out that way either, but honestly Lucas, that is all I can give you right now."

"Yeah, that's what you said yesterday." He reminded sardonically, in disbelief that this is how they were going to leave things.

_Don't you cry tonight  
There's a heaven above you baby  
And don't you cry tonight_

The momentum from the fight was dwindling down and reality was slowly sinking in. He couldn't deny that if he were in Brooke's position, he would be just as mistrusting and reluctant to let anyone who had hurt him so badly back into his life, but somehow it just didn't seem fair.

It didn't seem fair that he kept fucking up with the only girl whose heart even mattered. It wasn't fair that he now had so little time and opportunity to prove to her that he actually cared about her. And it definitely wasn't fair that he lost his chance four years ago, because of a stupid kiss he didn't even initiate and now Brooke was so closed off from him that it almost seemed that she was an entirely different person.

"I wish I had been more convincing last night." Brooke tore through his reverie and stubbed out her cigarette.

"It's hard to be convincing when you don't believe your own words." Lucas said quietly, but Brooke heard him loud and clear.

"God, Lucas. Don't you realize that I've spent the last four years trying to stop thinking about you? It took me months to work up the nerve to talk to anyone from home, just because I know something will be mentioned about you and I can't handle that. I mean I couldn't handle it. I was so angry with you. I couldn't believe you did that to me again." Brooke exclaimed, trying to steady her breathing.

This could not have been good for her and she managed to sit down before her legs gave out. In all the possible situations she'd played out in her head of all the ways this conversation could have gone, her passing out on a balcony in San Francisco was not one of them.

Lucas saw her pale ever so slightly and walked around to stand in front of her, then he leaned down and placed his hands on her knees. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away, she didn't even flinch. She just sat there, mute and tired. The only noise was coming from the steady breaths she was taking.

_Give me a whisper  
And give me a sign  
Give me a kiss before you  
tell me goodbye_

"I'm sorry you couldn't stay in touch with people who cared so much about you, because of me. I never knew I could effect you so badly." Lucas said quietly, which seemed redundant at this point, because he felt like he could never raise his voice at her. Instead he reached out and touched her cheek, marveling at its softness for the umpteenth time that morning.

"I'm sorry for leaving without confronting you, but I couldn't stand Peyton knowing I had betrayed her and even though I knew that I still had feelings for you, I was still not so sure I wanted to follow through with anything. So I ran. It was stupid and I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't just do this again. It hurts too much." She admitted but she wouldn't look him in the eye.

Lucas realized a moment later why: a couple tears escaped from behind the hand covering Brooke's eyes and Lucas instinctively reached up to wipe them away, but Brooke moved her face away before he could touch her again.

"Stop it." She said, her voice suddenly becoming so much colder than before, "It's not your place to comfort me anymore." She explained, pushing the chair back and maneuvering herself completely away from him.

Lucas stood up with his shoulders slumped. He had no idea how to handle this before, but now with her last admission, he wasn't so sure he wanted to continue arguing with her if there would be no resolution in the end.

_Don't you take it so hard now  
And please don't take it so bad  
I'll still be thinking of you  
And the times we had...baby_

"What do you want Brooke?" He asked, finding a sudden interest in his socks.

He was afraid of her answer. He was scared she was going to ask him to leave and never talk to her again. However, if she did ask him that, he would suck it up and leave and try his best to avoid going anywhere near her apartment for his remaining time in San Francisco. It was just going to be extremely difficult not to save magazine covers with models wearing her designs or not taping her fashion shows on E!.

But if she wanted him to, he would do it.

Brooke wasn't expecting him to ask her that and she really didn't have an answer to give him. But she also knew that if she didn't step up and deal with this now, she would spend the rest of her time in San Francisco unable to go to any place that reminded her of him, which unfortunately also included the property she purchased for half a million dollars just two days before.

"I want to go back to senior year of high school." Brooke said, "I want to go back to the day of Nathan and Haley's wedding and I want to hold on to you and not let you go. I want to forgive you for kissing Peyton and I don't want you to write an entire book dedicated to my best friend."

Lucas wasn't sure where she was going with this, but it was becoming increasingly evident that she didn't have a real answer to his question. She didn't have a solution.

But neither did he.

"Brooke, I don't know how many more times you want me to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for kissing Peyton. I'm sorry for letting you break up with me. God I'm even sorry for writing a book about a girl who could never mean as much to me as you do. I'm sorry I chose the safe route, I buckled under pressure, that I wasn't able to prove to you how much I loved you then. But please, god, just please let me prove this to you now."

Brooke could hear the conviction in his voice and saw the pain in his eyes, but at the same time all the horrible memories from the past flooded over her again and she could not deny that the last time she let him in, he had hurt her so badly that some days it was hard to get out of bed in the morning, let alone breathe.

_And please remember that I never lied  
And please remember  
how I felt inside now honey_

"How are you going to prove to me that you care?" She asked, and she didn't mean for it to come out as arrogantly and as coldly as it did, but she already said it and in this conversation, she refused to take anything back.

"I'll stay here Brooke. I'll make other arrangements for Emily. I'll renew my lease on my apartment. I'll go back to New York when you're ready." Lucas knew he was grasping at straws, they both knew he couldn't just give up his career in the middle of his first big break as a publisher. Nevertheless he persisted and as he spoke, Brooke suddenly felt a realization wash over her.

"My lease on this house is up in three months. I'm planning to renovate the warehouse into a designing studio and hire people to work for me while I'm in New York."

"Okay, I can do three months." Lucas said, mentally already planning how he would break the news to Jack and Emily.

"No." Brooke walked up to him and slowly took his hand into hers, warming them against the heatless sun, "Go to New York Luke. Live your life the way you had planned it before you ran into me-…" "Brooke, I can't-.."

"Shh." She smiled, placing a finger onto his lips, "If we're really going to give this a try, we have to be able to spend some time apart, focus on our careers, and if we feel the same way when I'm back in New York, then we'll know it's for real." She added, finally allowing herself to run her fingers through his hair.

"Brooke, we've spent far too much time apart already." Lucas said, squeezing her hand.

"I know." She sighed, "But we've never had a fresh start, not even the second time we got together. I want a clean slate. I've never fully forgiven either one of us for what we did to each other back then and as much as I love you still, I need to spend the next couple of months finding the Brooke Davis who can give you her entire heart without hesitation."

Brooke looked him in the eyes then and found that he was smiling uncontrollably,

"What's so funny?" She asked, almost in relief that they reached some sort of understanding.

_You gotta make it your own way  
But you'll be alright now sugar  
You'll feel better tomorrow  
Come the morning light now baby_

"You just said you love me." He replied, still grinning ear to ear.

"I do Broody. I love you with all my heart." She leaned up and lightly kissed him on the lips.

As much as Lucas wanted to deepen the embrace, he knew that all reservations and the plan Brooke drew up for them would be shot to hell, because she had tested his will power twice in the last 12 hours and he definitely wouldn't be able to stop this time.

"I love you too Brooke, and even though I would spend the next three months making up for lost time instead of being apart, if time is what you need, then I will give you all the time in the world." He replied, and Brooke suddenly sank into his arms.

It was the first hug they shared since bumping into each other at the waterfront two days ago, but to Lucas it felt familiar and comforting like nothing else in the last two years that he'd been away from home.

He couldn't believe that just as quickly as she fell into his arms, she would be ripped from him. He couldn't believe he agreed to stay away from her for so goddamn long.

"You know this is very _An Affair to Remember_." Lucas commented and he felt Brooke laugh against his chest.

"What can I say? I do have a strange fascination with old, romantic movies." She looked up at him and Lucas couldn't resist placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I better see you again." Lucas murmured seriously and Brooke frowned, realizing that she would not see Lucas until she was ready to come back to New York.

"You will." She said, hugging him tightly, "I promise."

And Lucas believed her.

_Don't you cry tonight  
Baby maybe someday  
Don't you cry  
Don't you ever cry  
Don't you cry  
Tonight_

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	9. Chapter 9: Wishing In Reverse

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi all! You guys are truly amazing. Sixty-four reviews are the most I've ever gotten for any story. This is like the best present ever hehe. Thank you so, so much. It inspires me to no end and gives me a pick me up during this hectic final schedule. I wanted to post this chapter, because it is semi-filler and has a lot of independent reflection in it. Also I am introducing an original character but don't hate me. I solemnly swear it is not what you think LOL. By the way, I've wanted to use this song for a really long time, and this is a perfect chapter for it. I'd prefer you imagine the acoustic version, just because it fits with the scenes here. Thank you for the reviews, I am still shocked so many of you have been reading. Thank you.

Song: "Times Like These" Foo Fighters.

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Chapter 9: Wishing In Reverse

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For the first time in a while, Rachel woke up with a genuine smile on her face. Sunshine was pouring into the room and Brooke's home was situated so close to the ocean that she could almost smell the faint scent of sea salt coming through the slightly ajar window.

Rolling over and staring at the ceiling, Rachel thought about the last couple of months she spent in Europe and Central America. Although living out of her suitcase and waking up in the arms of a new guy every week seemed like a perfect antidote to an addiction that haunted her for years, being back in the states felt good.

Even if she wasn't in Tree Hill, she was with Brooke, which was the closest she'd get to any family, let alone her own. She realized over the last couple of years that Brooke was the only constant in her life since she was seventeen years old, and keeping in touch with her was a much better remedy than a bottle of vodka and a handsome stranger…speaking of handsome strangers…

Rachel smiled thinking back to the night before. Some habits were impossible to break she thought, realizing that in her first night in San Francisco, she snagged a hot guy and a lunch date. Getting out of bed, Rachel saw that it was almost 10:30, which probably meant Brooke was already at the warehouse prepping for the decorator's arrival. Knowing she had the house to herself for a bit, Rachel wrapped a bathrobe over her pajamas and decided to get some coffee before taking a shower.

She did not expect to see her best friend silently sitting on the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest, staring into a blank spot Rachel couldn't identify. One thing Rachel immediately noticed was the absence of a certain blond writer, which never spelled anything good.

"Brooke…" Rachel said quietly, not wanting to disturb the thick silence in the room.

"He left." The brunette whispered, digging her nails into the legs of her jeans, "Well actually, it's my fault." She added.

_I, am a one-way motorway,  
I'm the road that drives away,  
follows you back home,_

Rachel sat down gingerly besides her and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. At first Brooke flinched, but then relaxed into the redhead's touch and even leaned a little against her.

"Baby, it's not your fault." Rachel soothed, pulling Brooke even closer.

"No, Rach it is. I came up with this stupid three-month rule. I told him we needed to spend some time apart in order to be fully certain that we can be together without compromising who we are. God, Rachel he was standing here, in my kitchen, telling me he'd stay for me, until I'd be ready to go back to New York. But I got scared. I know he has a career on the line and I didn't want him to sacrifice anything, because I don't want him to resent me later on." Rachel was not at all surprised at Brooke's lengthy and emotional explanation. She had doubtlessly spent at least an hour sitting alone with no one to talk to, so Rachel didn't blame her for exploding.

"Honey, you did the right thing." The redhead declared, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Brooke's ear, but Brooke jerked away from her suddenly, "I know, it just hurts. If we're meant to be together, then how come there is always something in the way. First Peyton, then Lindsay, then my stupid running away…"

"Brooke, you ran because he was kissing your best friend not an hour after professing his love for you. It was not your fault that you reacted that way."

"But it was!" Brooke exclaimed, standing up, "Peyton kissed him as a last stitch effort to keep him. He was going to tell her he was in love with someone else…with me."

"Wait!" Rachel halted, "You mean he was really going to tell her about you?" she asked, still suspicious of Lucas's explanation.

"Yes, and I ran, because of some stupid misunderstanding." Brooke sighed.

"But he didn't even try to contact you after." Rachel reminded.

"Because I didn't tell him I loved him when he told me. I mean I'd planned on it, but I didn't want to rush into things either. I guess he assumed I wasn't interested, because I left without so much as a goodbye." Brooke reasoned, sitting back down on the couch.

Rachel frowned. She still didn't believe this rationalization, but she also knew this wasn't the time to disagree with Brooke.

"Brooke, you do realize that with Lucas's track record with women, you might not have been right to run away but you were being cautious, protecting your heart. You have nothing to feel bad about."

Brooke's shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew Rachel was right on some level, but she had also been wrong. If Brooke had stayed in Tree Hill, to hear Lucas out or even confront him, maybe it wouldn't have turned out so badly. Knowing that she had messed it up last time hurt almost as badly as the possibility that this ridiculous separation would do more harm than good.

_I am a street light shining  
I'm a white light blinding bright  
Burning off and on_

She had been really brave about it and sure of her decision to spend three months apart up until he walked out of her front door with a sad smile on his face and a promise to be thinking of her. In that moment, Brooke's tough exterior melted and she found herself experiencing the same heart ache and emptiness that she first felt when she was adjusting to life back in Manhattan after running away from Tree Hill so many years back.

"I do have to admit this whole three month hiatus is totally selfish. As much I as I know I'm going to miss him, I know that if we got into anything serious right now, with my state of mind, it wouldn't last very long and I don't want that. I need this time to heal, to fully forgive Lucas and myself for everything we've done to each other. I just need to make amends for some of the mistakes I've made."

Brooke's sudden change of mind relieved Rachel but also make her worry more. At first Brooke seemed unsure of herself and Rachel thought it was a normal reaction to the sudden appearance and subsequent disappearance of the love of her life, but she hoped that if Brooke truly decided to take her time in San Francisco to heal and revive herself, it wouldn't be just for Lucas, but also for herself.

"So how do you plan to that?" Rachel asked, "Make amends I mean."

Brooke looked at her from the side, while running a hand through her hair with an air of anxious confidence and said,

"I'm going to go see Peyton"

_It's times like these you learn to live again  
It's times like these you give and give again_

TTTTTTTTT

It had been two days. Two sleepless nights, filled with empty pizza boxes, beer, loud music, and surprisingly, a lot of writing. He had promised her not to see her for the duration of the time he was still in San Francisco, because they both knew that seeing each other again would ruin the seemingly perfect good bye they had that morning. But to Lucas, that goodbye was anything but perfect.

He was dying inside to hold her, kiss her, and make her scream his name, which would all require him being at least in the same room as her, not fucking on the other side of the country. It was worse to experience this ache for her when he saw a similar need in her green eyes. But he hesitated because he knew that she was right.

He needed to build a life in New York before he saw her again. He needed to see if he could stand on his own two feet before letting her into his world. He also knew she was right in asking for time to heal herself properly before giving herself over to him completely.

He had so much time to think about this since he last saw her that the more time he spent away from her the more he realized that they needed this time away from each other in order to secure a lasting relationship in the end. Lucas knew he'd broken her heart before and he didn't want to do it again, but this also didn't make time away from her, when she had just come back into his life, any easier. Lucas admired her for her courage and thought back to his favorite line in the first novel,

"_Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday, and I'm not sure she even knows it."_

It had to be his favorite line in the entire Unkindness of Ravens, because it was the one sure thing he felt at that time in his life. Sure he'd written that he was always going to be in love with Peyton Sawyer, and perhaps on some level she would always hold a special place in his heart, but it was a part that was locked away in the past and he was only now starting to realize what he'd subconsciously always known.

That it wasn't Peyton Sawyer who would always be the one for him, but Brooke Davis and he couldn't believe it had taken him ten years to figure it out.

Thinking back to his first book reminded Lucas of the promise he silently made to Brooke when he left her house that morning, so he pulled his Mac Book out of the carry-on under his seat and turned on his word document. For the past two days he had been working out a solid idea for his second novel and it was not about basketball and sure as hell not about any of the blonds from his past…

_It's times like these you learn to love again  
It's times like these, time and time again_

TTTTTTTT

**One week later…**

She was leaning on the railing again, looking out into the peaceful waters. Even though she'd had this moment only a week before, it seemed like a century had gone by since the last time she stopped and watched the motions of the Bay. Nothing really changed, but nothing had stayed the same either.

Lucas Scott happened, swooping into her life once again and leaving just as swiftly. Brooke had to remind herself constantly that it was her fault, her doing that drove him away. Hell, she might as well have packed his bags for him and put him on a plane herself. It wasn't fair that the right thing was always so goddamn painful to do. It reminded her of another time she gave up the blond boy, because she thought it was the right thing to do.

_I am a new day rising'  
I'm the brand new sky  
To hang stars upon tonight_

Almost 10 years ago she let him go for Peyton's sake, and why had she let him go now? For her own sake? Maybe.

She wanted to believe she let him go, told him to go to New York, because it would give them both the time they needed to rebuild themselves, but a little part of herself warned her not to get carried away with this fantasy idea that she was going to somehow magically fix herself in just three months. It was impossible that all the insecurities that chased her for years would disappear, just because at the end waited Lucas.

If anything, Lucas sometimes reaffirmed her insecurities even more. The point was she was scared. Not even on a small scale, she was truly terrified that she might never be ready to return to New York. She told everybody, even Rachel that she just needed a break, some time to regroup before returning to her old life, and now she wasn't even sure.

Worst of all, after learning how private Lucas was about his own life, she was terrified that he wouldn't want the lifestyle she had. The constant public appearances, the mandatory cocktail parties, the fashion shows, the traveling. Everything that once made Brooke so happy had suddenly disgusted her as she realized that potentially the most important person in her life might reject her if he knew what life she led. After all, he only knew her as she was in Tree Hill and San Francisco, without paparazzi or the hectic work schedule that came with New York. He knew her as the old Brooke Davis, and she wasn't the same person anymore. Too much had changed.

_I, am a little divided  
Do I stay or run away  
And leave it all behind?_

And yet everything on the outside seemed to stay the same. The ocean was still blue; the warehouse was in the process of being made over into a fashion studio, where she planned to assemble her next fashion show. Rachel was using her contacts from her old modeling days to meet with potential models that were interested in representing C/B in San Francisco at the end of August.

The C/B team was working out of New York to make this all come together, so Brooke could debut a new summer/pre-fall line and expand her market. Her only job was to design and hire a team of professionals to help her assemble the line once her sketches were complete, but she hadn't been able to concentrate on a single design this entire week. Instead she had been spending a lot of time exploring the city and pampering herself, finding every possible excuse not to sit down and get to work. Now she finally decided to check back on the warehouse and found that her decorator had it all under control and the studio would be ready by next week.

Brooke felt listless. She told Rachel she came to San Francisco for inspiration, but none was coming to her and all she could think about was the boy who got away yet again. Looking out into the beautiful sunset one more time, Brooke turned around to leave but a not so familiar voice stopped her,

"Well, Brooke Davis. You are a hard woman to find."

Turning around, Brooke came face to face with a man she had only briefly met in person some time back, but had seen numerous times on the cover of boring business magazines she glazed over while searching for _Vogue_. She had to admit though; he was pretty good looking in person and his European accent didn't help matters.

"Maybe, I didn't want to be found." She replied cheekily, though already crossing her arms over her chest as a sign of defense.

"I highly doubt that. I think you just didn't know I was looking for you." He answered back just as sharply and Brooke was impressed.

"Perhaps." She smiled, not entirely ready for a verbal sparring with a stranger.

"I believe we haven't been introduced properly. My name is Aleksandr Stratsky and I am your new client." The fair-haired man reached out and Brooke shook his hand confidently.

"I haven't accepted the job yet." She reminded him.

"Oh, I think you already did. After all, you're still talking to me when you could have walked away."

Brooke knew his confident, almost cocky type and usually it put her off, but for some reason this one posed a challenge and quite a big distraction. Something she desperately needed right now.

"True. But you seem too arrogant for your own good. Coming all the way over to San Francisco just to get little ole me to pick you out a pair of silk boxers?" Brooke teased, actually enjoying that Aleksander might not be the type to shock easily.

"Hmm. You seem to think you're the only business I have in this beautiful city. Look at this sunset Miss Davis. I'd come here just for the view." He motioned to the space around him and Brooke was once again transfixed with the beautiful surroundings. The sunset was breathtaking indeed.

_It's times like these you learn to live again  
It's times like these you give and give again_

"Okay, but the view wont make you look presentable at the next benefit, so I am assuming you came here to work with me." Brooke declared and watched Aleksandr expose a set of pearly whites.

"See that's what caught my attention Miss Davis. Your clothes reflect your personality, which is sharp and confident. Two traits I need to embody when I'm in the public eye or doing business and I think I can offer you a deal which you can't refuse."

"Oh really? What could you possibly offer me that I don't already have? Money? Publicity? Exposure?"

"A male clientele." Aleksandr interrupted her and Brooke furrowed her eyebrows at him.

This guy was beginning to irritate her.

"I can get that without your help." She replied sternly.

"Yes, that is true, but I'm offering you an opportunity to expand beyond the average shopper. I'm talking about men who blow off as much money on suits as their wives do on your couture gowns."

Brooke bit her lip, taking into consideration the lucrative deal he was offering. Millicent had been right. Helping to dress one lousy businessman could open doors C/B hadn't walked through yet and it would be a wonderful business venture.

"Okay, but I'm in the middle of designing for a very important fashion show that has to take place in the next three months so I don't really have a lot of time to dress you up." Brooke warned.

"Right. When I approached you, you looked really busy." Aleksandr joked and Brooke found herself smiling ever so slightly.

"It's too late to go shopping now." Brooke added, thinking about a relaxing bath and a movie waiting for her at home.

"Yes, but its never too late for dinner. Care to join me for a bite somewhere, I'm famished and very new to the city." He asked and Brooke's first instinct was to say no. But then her stomach growled and she realized she had no energy to cook anything today and Rachel would probably convince her to order something unhealthy like pizza or Mexican so a dinner invitation didn't seem so bad at all.

"Maybe dinner, maybe just a drink Aleksandr. I'm way too tired to verbally spar with anyone tonight." Brooke mock yawned but found her new friend to be rolling his eyes.

"Alright, fashion diva. Why don't you pick the place and by the way call me Alex. Aleksandr makes me sound like a warrior in a Russian fairytale." The businessman joked.

"Or an old, creepy, guy from a backwards village."

_It's times like these you learn to love again  
It's times like these, time and time again_

TTTTTTTTT


	10. Chapter 10: In Dire Need of Conversation

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi you guys, thank you so much for your kind reviews on the last chapter. I'm really excited about this chapter, because even though there's still no actual Brooke/Lucas interaction, I'm introducing another original character, this one is NOT a girl hehe, and also look for a special blast from the past at the end. Thanks for reviewing!

TTTTTTT

Chapter 10: In Dire Need of Conversation

TTTTTTT

As soon as Lucas stepped out into the busy sidewalk, the feeling of being in New York hit him with full force. Not even the busy JFK airport or the sheer impossibility of getting a cab had quite the same effect on him as taking a walk in Midtown on an early warm morning.

There was just something so unique about feeling like he was a part of the city again that for the first time since arriving, Lucas had a genuine smile on his face. In the sheer madness of the last week, Lucas completely forgot how much he loved the city. Although most would be surprised that someone as domestic and with as many ties to his hometown would love the Big Apple, Lucas did.

Perhaps it was because of all the baggage associated with Tree Hill that made him love the ability to disappear into the crowd in a busy Manhattan street. Maybe that's why Lucas loved New York so much, and there were other reasons too; reasons that ironically relocated across the country now, instead of being here with him.

Lucas promised himself he wouldn't think of her, for at least a day. He was acting like a pathetic, lovesick teenager and it was interfering with his other responsibilities. He might have been writing for the past three days, probably more so than in the last year, but he wasn't attending to his publishing duties.

He'd gotten away with communicating with the marketing team, Emily, and Jack over the phone or through email, but today he decided to face what was going to be his inevitable reality for at least the next three months: life without Brooke in New York. He told himself he could handle it, but things were just not in his favor, especially when he realized his apartment building had a nice view of a huge billboard, advertising Brooke's fashion line. Forgetting her would be extremely difficult.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Lucas looked up to find himself in front of a café he had frequented a couple times on his previous stays in New York. The popular breakfast spot was crowded but Lucas managed to locate his friend and business partner from across the room. It was kind of hard not to spot Jack Stone in a crowd of people when he had his feet propped up against a chair and was strumming his guitar. The dark-haired musician, who reminded Lucas in appearance of his own brother, looked up just as the blond approached him, "This seat taken?" Lucas asked, smiling warmly.

"Luke, finally." Jack moved his feet off the chair and put his guitar away.

"I see you haven't abandoned your hobby since I saw you last." Lucas teased.

"It's been like two and a half weeks. Think of something original to say next time." Jack rolled his eyes.

A native New Yorker, Jack moved to San Francisco to work in his grandfather's publishing company, then called Stone Publications. Jack did clerical and grunt work for a few years, mostly because his grandfather, Richard, had never agreed with Jack's free spirited, bohemian, musician lifestyle and Jack had yet to prove himself. That quickly changed when grandfather and grandson bonded over their love of literature and poetry. Jack slowly began working his way up to manager and eventually started working on acquiring new talent for the now struggling publishing house.

That is how Lucas found Stone Publications, or more accurately, how the company found him. After unsuccessful attempts at finishing the second novel, Lucas decided to put his English degree to good use and sent out resumes to various newspapers and publishing houses all over the country. However, due to his lack of experience and just one book under his belt, offers were few and usually had some huge disadvantage, like moving to Texas, which Lucas absolutely despised during his cross country track.

The only offer that seemed reasonable was from Stone Publications, so Lucas accepted it. As he found out later, the assistant editor quit because he wasn't getting paid on time and although Richard was repulsed at the idea that an amateur, meaning Lucas, would be working at their company, Jack managed to sway his grandfather after purchasing him a copy of An Unkindness of Ravens.

Richard immediately approved hiring Lucas Scott.

Lucas couldn't remember what he anticipated when he first arrived in San Francisco, but he knew instinctively that he would be working in a fantastic environment when he met his employers. Despite differing opinions, the Stone men were united by their passion for literature and that was something Lucas could definitely relate to. Jack took Lucas under his wing, overtime becoming one of his closest friends, not just his coworker. He didn't know much about Lucas's past and it was refreshing for Lucas to hang out with someone who didn't judge him or his actions based on the "hero complex" everyone in Tree Hill thought he had. But although Lucas loved his job, business was slow.

Stone Publication was struggling financially and worst of all, Richard's health began to slowly decline. Jack was devastated as he realized his time with his grandfather was limited and he was doubly terrified of protecting Richard's legacy.

Slowly, as Richard and Jack spent more time at various doctor appointments, Lucas found himself in charge of a massively debilitating publishing house. Lucas had been preparing the company for bankruptcy for a couple of months when he piqued the attention of a local reporter who was interested in understanding why someone as successful as Lucas, had to take a job working at Stone publication, instead of writing an equally riveting follow up to his bestseller.

The interview was awkward and uncomfortable for Lucas, because the reporter was throwing questions at him that Lucas could not answer for himself, but the attention he received, gave him an idea.

Pretty soon, Lucas was using his small time fame to pick up new talent and secure eager investors. By that time, Richard had only a few months to live and Jack suggested that he turn over half the Stone Publication ownership to Lucas. Richard agreed and that's how Raven Publications was born.

Originally Jack just wanted to add Scott to the name, but the image consultants Lucas hired suggested a new name to go with the revamped image and Jack, remembering why he had decided to hire Lucas in the first place, immediately suggested Raven Publications be the new name for his grandfather's company.

Needless to say, Lucas was overjoyed, finally he had found something outside of writing that he appeared to be good at. Jack was at peace, because now his late grandfather's legacy was preserved. He had finally proved himself.

"So where are we on the space?" Lucas asked, after they ordered coffee and eggs.

"I put down the deposit last Thursday and I got a great deal from one of my grandfather's old friends who promised to do renovations for half the price."

"Jack the resourceful." Lucas toasted with his glass of water.

"Sometimes it helps to have friends in high places." Jack winked and for some reason his words made Lucas think of Brooke, resulting in an inevitable frown.

" Have you spoken to Emily yet? She's been harassing me over email and cell since I got here."

"Yes." Jack replied moodily, "Unfortunately I had lunch with her a couple of days ago. She said she knows I don't like her, but that she was scared of being in the city without you for a whole week." Jack added and Lucas couldn't help but chuckle.

"Women are so blunt aren't they?"

"Yes, except when you need them to be." Jack commented dryly.

"I assume we're talking about Sara?" Lucas asked.

Sara was Jack's long time girlfriend, who worked as a registered nurse at NYU Medical Center. It seemed uncanny that someone as free spirited as Jack could be with someone as conservative and high strung as Sara, but according to Jack their differences were the reason why they worked as a couple. Thinking back to their tumultuous and long distance relationship, Lucas could agree and disagree, but he was no expert on love and would never judge Jack of all people.

"So what about you?" Jack asked, between mouthfuls of eggs.

"Nothing going on." Lucas mumbled, not knowing why he lied except that if he decided to divulge his entire history with Brooke now, it would take them all the way through lunch and dinner and away from business.

Thankfully Jack didn't press the issue just continued to eat. In between bites he told Lucas about the next couple of days and the necessary preparation for the book release party that Friday night.

Lucas welcomed the distraction.

TTTTTTT

Brooke was stretching in preparation for her morning run when Rachel walked out into the backyard and plopped down on the lounge chair next to her.

"Stop working out so much. You're making me look bad." Rachel teased, taking out a cigarette and a lighter from her hoodie.

"Stop smoking so much, you're making yourself look bad." Brooke quipped back.

"Uh huh, says the girl who smoked with me last week." Rachel reminded, lighting the cigarette.

"Totally different circumstances." Brooke replied and Rachel frowned, regretting bringing up anything associated with the events of last week.

"Don't pout. You'll get wrinkles." Brooke said, eliciting a smile from her friend.

"I'm fine Rach. Stop worrying."

"I hope so." Rachel mumbled, and the moment passed. She was relieved that Brooke's attitude was getting back to normal. The last few days she was going to work, began sketching again, and spent hours on the phone with the NY office, arguing about something or other. Rachel welcomed the old Brooke, not that she minded that since Lucas left, Brooke had been doing nothing but shopping, getting spa treatments, and watching old movies. But, Rachel knew that Brooke was just trying to distract herself as much as possible from the impromptu meeting with the love of her life, and when that didn't work, she resorted back to work.

Nevertheless, Brooke was coming back to herself, and as bossy and demanding as that person was sometimes; Rachel wouldn't have it any other way.

"So I talked to this guy I used to work with after you and I, you know, stopped talking, and back then he was just a talent scout, but he worked his way up and made partner last year. They have an office in San Francisco and they're interested in auditioning some models for the August show. I'm going to go see them sometime this week." Rachel informed and Brooke stopped stretching for a moment.

She heard the hesitance in Rachel's voice when she mentioned them not speaking and she instinctively knew that Rachel was still hurt by Brooke's decision to fire her so many years ago.

"Have I told you lately how sorry I am for doing that to you back then?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, although internally she thanked Brooke for still caring. Not very many people would still feel guilty over something they did seven years ago, especially since Rachel had done far worse to Brooke.

"Brooke, you know I'm over it. Besides I've done a lot worse to you and should be the one apologizing."

Brooke shook her head, sitting down next to her, "No, that person, she wasn't you, that was your addiction controlling you. I, on the other hand, have no excuse for letting my demented mother get to me."

"Oh, Victoria." Rachel laughed, "How is she doing these days?"

"God knows." Brooke sighed, "Most I hear from my parents these days is the occasional postcard from Aspen, and that's only from my dad."

"That's okay." Rachel declared, draping an arm over Brooke's shoulders, "You and I don't need parents. We just need hot boys, money, and booze."

Brooke laughed; glad her friend was trying to lighten the mood.

"Speaking of hot boys, how is that Aleksandr doing?"

"Still as pompous as ever, but he's a really great distraction. Plus I get to shop for him, what could be better?" Brooke said with a smile, but Rachel saw the underlying sadness in the brunette's eyes. She obviously missed Lucas more than she was willing to admit and Rachel wondered if she herself would ever find a love so intense that just two days could throw her into such an emotional frenzy. However, she also didn't know whether to pity Brooke or be jealous.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?" Rachel asked quietly and felt Brooke's body tense besides her.

"Yes, I do. But I can't put everything on hold. I realized that I lost a week's worth of work; sulking and dwelling on the situation I created myself. If I didn't want him to leave, he would have stayed. I know Lucas and he would have put everything on hold to give us a chance."

"Yes, but would it last?" Rachel asked delicately, "You did the right thing."

"Well, we will never know now. He's in NY and I'm here and I have to face my personal issues before giving him my heart again."

When Brooke put it in that perspective, Rachel felt like cautioning her friend against getting into anything with Lucas even after three months' time. All that Rachel could remember from high school was Brooke crying herself to sleep after breaking up with Lucas and Rachel also remembered Brooke when she visited her in rehab after fleeing from Tree Hill.

Despite battling her own demons at that time, Rachel recalled Brooke's disoriented appearance and bloodshot eyes. Then she presumed that Brooke was so emotional over seeing her friend in such a debilitating state, but now Rachel knew better.

Although that motivated Rachel to get better, she realized now that Brooke was having her own internal battle then, specifically she was nursing a broken heart. She only found about Brooke sleeping with Lucas much later, and didn't even know the whole story until even later, because it didn't seem to be something Brooke could tell her over a postcard.

But Rachel eventually learned that Brooke had given up Lucas for Peyton again and Rachel swore that if she ever ran into the blonde, she'd give her a piece of her mind.

"So, Rach, how do you feel about an overnight trip to LA before things get too hectic at work?" Brooke interrupted the redhead's thoughts.

"Sure but why?" Rachel asked, curiously.

"Peyton's record company is based from Los Angeles." Brooke replied, already mentally planning out an itinerary, only to assure herself that seeing Peyton would bring her closure rather than a bunch of bad memories.

"Right." Rachel murmured, thinking she might actually get her chance to tell Peyton what she really thought about her.

TTTTTT

It had been an extremely stressful morning at Raven Publications. The renovators Jack hired to convert the old dance studio into a publishing house were on schedule but tonight was the book release party and they had to poor all their energy in setting up the building adjacent to the company's new home to accommodate the 200 expected guests due for Emily's big debut. Lucas and Jack had talked it over and proposed the idea of hosting the book release party in the empty space next door instead of an upscale restaurant or lounge, which would be extremely impersonal. Emily was overjoyed at the idea and took a bossy attitude with caterers, the marketing team, and renovators, basically taking over the job that Lucas and Jack hired people for.

That morning, Lucas showed up to work at 9 and already the place was bustling with people running around and placing decorations everywhere. In the midst of it, he saw Emily and Jack arguing over something and he immediately broke it up. Jack complained about Emily being too bossy and not knowing her place, while Emily was upset that Jack was impeding her ability to say her part in a gathering that was in her honor.

By the time Lucas smoothed out the argument and separated his two colleagues, he realized he needed to pick up his suit before the dry cleaners closed and he also needed to prepare his speech for tonight. He did not like the amount of publicity this event was gathering only because he hated public speaking and preferred to keep a low profile at such events, but unfortunately he had learned that Raven Publications would need all the publicity they could get if they hoped to survive in New York City.

So after bidding goodbye to Jack and Emily, making them swear to be civil to each other, he decided to walk the 20 blocks back to his apartment, mulling over his speech on the way.

That was his state of mind when, nearing his apartment, a basketball rolled to his feet and he stopped it with his foot. His suit was draped over his shoulder, but he picked up the orange ball and inspected it. He didn't even have time to notice the familiar signature scribbled on the ball, when he heard an even more familiar voice calling to him from a small distance.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, get your butt over here!"

Lucas couldn't hide his smile as he sprinted towards his best friend and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hales." He laughed in to her hair as he managed to lift her off the ground for a second,

"I missed you so much."

"Hey, what about me Uncle Luke?"

Lucas pulled back and inspected the boy standing close to his mother. Lucas was taken aback by how old his nephew looked. He was now 9 years old, his hair was becoming darker, but his eyes retained that trademark blue color that all Scott men possessed. He was lankier and his smile was more reserved, but judging by how he grabbed the basketball from him, it seemed like the love of the game was in his blood permanently.

Lucas could only think about how similar Jaime was to Nathan, just the unsure, innocent look on his face reminded Lucas of his little brother.

"You are my number one." Lucas smiled, embracing Jaime as well.

It didn't enter his mind that Haley remained silent through their exchange until he looked up at her and could tell she was pissed.

"Hales…" His voice trailed off, already an explanation prepared for his lack of correspondence in the recent months, but she cut him off,

"If I hadn't found out from Karen that you were moving to New York and if Jaime and I didn't have summer vacation, and if Nathan wasn't playing against the New York Knicks on Monday, when would I have seen you? Huh? You couldn't bother to call?"

Her arms were crossed over the light blue top she was wearing and her stance reflected her irritation with him, but when Lucas caught her eye, he knew she had missed him and was only giving him a hard time.

"I'm sorry Hales. Things have just been so hectic. Why don't we go inside and we'll catch up?" He suggested, and Haley laughed.

"You are so dodging my question. You should never be too busy to check in. Everyone else is just as busy as you and they have time." Haley continued, making sure Lucas knew he wasn't off the hook.

"Uncle Luke. You're in the dog house." Jaime commented as he dribbled the ball and Lucas couldn't help but laugh.

"Yup, but how about we go inside and you and I can see what we can do to calm your mom down." Lucas motioned towards the brownstone and Jaime nodded,

"Mama, c'mon lets go, you can never stay mad at the Scott men for too long." He teased and ascended the stairs.

Haley rolled her eyes and followed, but not before Lucas stopped her and she turned around, her mock annoyance already fading.

"I really did miss you Haley." Lucas declared genuinely and Haley nodded, "I did too, but you have some explaining to do." She warned and Lucas agreed.

"You have no idea." He murmured to himself and pulled out his house keys.

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	11. Chapter 11: Direction, Beauty, Meaning

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T.

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hey guys! Long time no update, at least for me. Finals are officially over and summer has begun. This means I'll be updating more frequently, because I've been having lots of really great ideas lately. Anyway, this is a pretty lengthy chapter, I really hope you like it, because it begins the explanation of what really happened five years before in Tree Hill. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, I'll be posting sometime next week. Thanks for the awesome reviews!

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Chapter 11: Direction, Beauty, Meaning

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"So what's the suit for?" Haley asked, eyeing the unzipped garment bag on the couch.

Lucas and her sat opposite each other on the breakfast bar. Jaime had run off to use Lucas's laptop to read up on the latest basketball ratings, leaving Lucas at the mercy of his relatively pissed best friend.

"Actually, it's for a book release party for my first ever client. You and Nathan should definitely come." Lucas suggested, but Haley's stone cold expression didn't change.

"There's no one to watch Jaime." She replied curtly and Lucas sighed.

"Look, I know you're pissed off at me, but you obviously sought me out, so this isn't just an "I hate you, because you never call" confrontation is it?" He asserted, but there was no confidence in his tone.

"No it's not. It's an "I hate you, because you never call and because you completely cut everyone from Tree Hill out of your life" confrontation. Luke, I had to get your address from that hippy partner of yours. Do you know how pathetic I felt when he was so surprised to see that the infamous Haley James Scott, best friend extraordinaire, had no idea where your apartment was." The brunette exclaimed, sliding off her barstool.

"I'm beyond mad Lucas. Whatever happened to make you leave and not call back for almost a year is unacceptable. You should be glad Jaime's tenth birthday coincided with this trip to New York, because he would never forgive you for missing it." Haley added.

Lucas nodded, taking a sip of the beer he had opened as soon as he came into the house. He was prepared for this. He knew this was coming. Haley was completely right in the fact that Jaime wouldn't forgive his uncle for missing his tenth birthday; moreover, Lucas doubted if either Haley or Nathan would forgive him.

"Haley, I don't really have an excuse for not calling or keeping in touch, except for the fact that I was forced to save a publishing company that was struggling and I just, I don't know. I'm sorry, I should have called at least." The blonde bowed his head down and Haley visibly softened.

"Yeah, you should have called, because if you did you'd know that I'm about three months pregnant."

Lucas almost chocked on his beer and Haley found a bit of pleasure in getting such a reaction out of him, "Oh my god Haley that's amazing. I'm so happy for you guys. Nathan must be congratulating himself everyday." Lucas smiled and Haley couldn't help but sink into the hug he offered.

It had been too long since she'd seen him and her resolve was weakening considerably.

What was it with these Scott men that made all women give up not only their virtue but also their firm ground? Haley would never know.

"Yeah, well that damned Scott sperm." She mumbled into Lucas's shoulder and he immediately pulled back.

"Eww?" Lucas scrunched up his nose and Haley laughed it off,

"Don't do that, you remind me of Brooke." She said and immediately noticed how at the mention of the brunette, Lucas's smile fell flat and his shoulders slumped considerably.

"Brooke. Have you heard from her recently?" He asked cautiously, hoping his best friend hadn't figured him out yet.

"Yes, she emailed me a couple weeks ago telling me she's back in the States and working on a summer/fall line in San Francisco." Haley added and slowly the wheels in her head began to turn, "Hold on a sec, didn't you just move from there?"

Lucas shrugged, really hoping that he wouldn't need to explain but Haley had already folded her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow in a familiar suspicious manner.

"Lucas. Did you run into Brooke in San Francisco?" Haley asked, but she already knew the answer.

The signs were all there. Lucas was broodier than usual, he was hunched over a bottle of beer in the early afternoon, and he refused to meet her eyes. These were all classic indications that he'd just had one of his epic encounters with Brooke Davis and though she was still mad as hell that he hadn't tried harder to keep in touch with her over the last couple months, she still felt so horrible for him, because she knew that no matter how hard Lucas tried, or how many years he spent away from home, his old feelings always caught up with him, and Haley was ready to listen.

"Well, it was actually more like she ran into me." Lucas began and Haley settled back down on the bar stool, wondering if it would be completely irresponsible of her as a mother to have a beer as well.

After all that would probably be the only way she could handle listening to what Lucas had to say without slapping him upside the head for letting the love of his life slip away yet again…

TTTTTTT

It felt good to talk to someone suddenly. Since he saw Brooke, the only one he was communicating with was himself and that usually didn't end up leading to anything rational or logical. Talking to Haley on the other hand proved therapeutic and he needed her to talk some sense into him. He needed her to be his best friend again even though it seemed like he had abandoned her in favor of a publishing house and a new career.

Nevertheless, Haley Scott was difficult to shrug off; after all she did show up at his apartment and berated him for twenty minutes about how much of an asshole he was for not keeping in touch. Yet, seconds later when she'd connected the dots, she returned to her old self, to the Haley that had the logical mind and the great ear. Two things Lucas was evidently missing.

"So how did it happen?" Haley asked, a hint of mirth in her voice, "Did she literally run into you on the street or what?"

Lucas chuckled, "Nope. Actually, her realtor found the warehouse we were selling, where our publishing house was, and the day I came back to pick up the rest of the boxes, she was there."

"Wow." Haley smirked, taking a sip of water, "Talk about fate." She murmured.

Lucas looked up at her then, his eyes more squinty than usual and his body extremely tense and Haley regretted saying anything. Obviously he was thinking the same thing, but he refused to admit it, for reasons Haley was going to find out soon enough.

"Yeah. So we went to lunch, then dinner, then the next day, Rachel showed up in town and asked me to go clubbing with them."

"Uh, oh, Rachel? As in Rachel Gatina? I had no idea her and Brooke still kept in touch." Haley said, genuinely surprised, "I thought she still had her little 'problem'." Haley whispered this to make sure Jaime was out of earshot and Lucas laughed. Sometimes his best friend could be so childish; however, her redeeming qualities definitely made up for it.

"Yes, I don't really know the whole story, but she looks better than I've ever seen her. She's happy, healthy, and it looks like she's going back to working with Brooke." Lucas explained.

Haley nodded, "I hope she doesn't run away again. That nearly broke Brooke the last time it happened."

"Before she left Tree Hill right?" Lucas asked, taking another sip from his Guinness bottle.

"No." Haley said quietly, "I don't know why Brooke left, but when she got back to Manhattan, Rachel showed up at her doorstep looking like hell one night and Brooke dragged her off to rehab immediately. I don't know what Brooke was going through at the time or even why she left, but when she finally contacted me, she told me everything about Rachel. By that time you'd already skipped town." Haley explained and although she'd been talking, she did not miss the look of guilt on her best friend's face when the subject of Brooke leaving came up.

"Do you by any chance know why Brooke left Tree Hill so unexpectedly then?" She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Lucas and once again found his blue eyes averting her gaze sheepishly.

"I might." Lucas sighed, still in disbelief that after all these years of avoiding this particular conversation; he wasn't in the least bit prepared to tell Haley about another one of his fuck ups.

"Lucas." Haley exhaled slowly, walking over to his side of the breakfast bar, "What did you do?"

"Well, it's more like what the hell did she and I do." Lucas mumbled and Haley instantly knew that whatever happened between Brooke and Lucas in the weeks after Lindsay left had been the reason Brooke left town without telling anyone.

"Tell Haley all about it." She said softly, running her fingers through Lucas's hair. In the back of her head though, Haley couldn't deny that she was still slightly mad at Lucas. He always had the ability to drive all her girlfriends away from her. First Lindsay, then Brooke, then even Peyton. Haley was determined to make sure that this time that wouldn't happen...

TTTTTTTT

"After Lindsay left, I remember feeling extremely useless all of the sudden. I knew I could really use a friend, or even a distraction but for some reason I declined my mom's offer to go with her, Andy, and Lil on their boat.

You and Nathan were having issues and though I'd usually go to Peyton for the shoulder to lean on, she was being particularly clingy, constantly making sure that I knew how guilty she felt for Lindsay leaving but at the same time always insinuating that she did not want to be "just" my friend and you know that was what I needed at that moment.

I never really blamed Peyt for what happened. Lindsay made a choice based on a book I wrote, which I refused to publish, because I don't think it would have brought me any level of satisfaction knowing I profited from something that had hurt her so deeply. Nevertheless, it was never Peyton's fault I had feelings for her, or well I guess what everyone assumed were feelings for Peyton.

Anyway, since I didn't want to be any more of a nuisance to you and Nate and Peyton kept getting the wrong idea, I sort of turned to Brooke for comfort. I know it might not seem like an unlikely source of kinship to you, but at that point I wasn't anticipating the friendship Brooke and I developed over the weeks following my botched wedding."

At this point Lucas paused to take a sip of beer and found Haley eyeing him intently. He really did have a way with words, Haley thought. Before Lindsay, Haley was always his editor for all the short pieces he wrote in high school and every heartfelt note he ever sent to any girl he liked. She was his filter, but now as she listened to him talk, she was becoming enamored with the story and couldn't filter out any one particular detail.

"A couple weeks before the wedding, Brooke confided in me that she wanted to adopt. It seemed like a rash decision to me, but she seemed to have it all so planned out and rationalized that I didn't have the heart to tell her that a child wouldn't give her the love she was looking for. I did try to caution her, but she had her mind pretty set on following through with it, so slowly I started to help her with the research and compiling a relatively decent resume.

After Lindsay left, I started coming over more, always finding an excuse to hang out with her. I was still coaching, but my writing was at an all time low and I found myself spending more and more time at Brooke's house.

For some reason I avoided being there when I knew Peyton would be home, which did not go unnoticed by Brooke. I told her I was avoiding Peyton, because I was still reeling over losing Lindsay and it seemed like the blonde would not take no for an answer when it came to me making a decision about her. Brooke as usual offered her defensive thoughts on Peyton, but they were lackluster. As soon as I admitted to her that I had no intention of getting back together with Peyton despite public opinion, she seemed to ease up on the whole defense and things went back to normal."

"But Luke, I read the manuscript, I have to say I have damn good intuition and that book was through and through about a conflicted heart. You're my best friend and I know you did not love Lindsay unconditionally-…" Haley replied, gently placing her hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"Hales." Lucas interrupted her, laying his hand over her smaller one, "Lindsay and you were right all along. I didn't love her unconditionally, I couldn't fully commit to her when I subconsciously had feelings for another woman." Lucas said quietly and Haley began to understand.

"Brooke?" Her mouth momentarily hung from disbelief but she quickly shut it, still not hiding her surprise however.

"Yes." Lucas nodded, taking longer sip from his beer, "Except I didn't know it yet, and I was about to find out."

TTTTTTTT

_Four years and 10 months ago… _

_Brooke wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, before continuing to stack the sparkly clean dishes back onto the shelves in her kitchen. All the windows in the house were open, the AC was turned onto its maximum, yet she couldn't escape the burning heat of the afternoon sun. _

_When she'd switched on the news that morning, her suspicions were confirmed. Tree Hill was having one of its crazy heat waves right before the onset of summer, where the temperatures would get dangerously high and people would forsake their hometown for all its worth. She didn't sleep well the night before and this morning she figured out why. When she checked her mail, she found a letter addressed to her from the adoption agency she'd been working with in the last couple weeks. They sent her through a series of interviews, a background check, her list of references, and although the social worker in charge of her case seemed professional enough, she doubted that the agency deliver good news via the post office. _

_Ignoring the familiar feeling of dread that formed at the pit of her stomach before she knew she was about to get her hopes crushed yet again, Brooke opened the letter quickly and skimmed over the first few lines. _

_Those were the only ones she needed to read, before she put it down and walked away, in her mind already planning damage control for herself. So far she'd been good. _

_She'd received the letter about nine and a half hours ago and it had not been moved from the coffee table in the living room. Instead Brooke left the house for a couple hours to take the morning shift at the store and then when she returned to the empty house, she did a good job ignoring the letter and decided that the kitchen needed a good scrubbing down. _

_Except she couldn't remember the last time either Peyton or she used the kitchen for anything other than making coffee. _

_For a second, after she changed into blue cut offs and a tank top, she contemplated what the kitchen would have looked like if she had a baby in the house. _

_Would there be baby formula warming on the stove? Would there be baby food splattered on the walls? Would there be a booster chair standing haphazardly next to the counter like Brooke had envisioned it would be? _

_Probably, but she couldn't dwell on it anymore. The adoption agency didn't see her as a good mother. She wouldn't have a baby in this empty house. _

_She decided to shake these thoughts off and by around 4 in the afternoon, the entire kitchen was sparkling clean from all the efficient scrubbing Brooke administered. _

_Sometime in between cursing her bad luck and blocking out her thoughts about what happened, she walked into Peyton's room and stole her Ipod, hooking it up to the player in the living room. _

_She left it on shuffle, not really caring what she was listening to as long as it wasn't the deafening silence in the house, which reminded her of the perpetual emptiness she was surrounded by. _

_There'd be no baby cries in this house, she thought, as she carefully stacked one china plate on top of the other, not caring that with every plate the sound of porcelain against porcelain was getting louder and louder. _

_The dishes were stacked with such force, Brooke anticipated at least one of them to break, but they never did and she was so consumed in her thoughts she didn't hear the front door click open… _

_The heat was unbearable and Lucas almost wished he'd taken up his mother's offer to disappear with them for a while on Andy's boat. It would have been much easier to breathe, both emotionally and physically, without the oppressing heat and the constant reminder that he was stood up by a woman who claimed to love him._

_It'd been weeks since the botched wedding, but Lucas just could not let go. _

_He'd left messages, he'd written emails, he even flew down to New York, just to see Lindsay, but it seemed like all his efforts were in vain. _

_She offered to edit his book, but he refused. He knew in his heart, no matter how conflicted his emotions might have been, he could never publish something that had caused his ex-fiancé so much heartache. _

_As he walked to Brooke's house, he thought about his incentive behind trying to contact Lindsay. Did he really love her or was this another sad attempt by Lucas Scott to assuage his guilt and save someone? _

_He couldn't figure it out. It was as if words were not coming to him lately, and not in a literary sense, but in the emotional sense. It seemed like his entire mind had a huge case of writer's block, which seemed to extend to his ability to express himself in his personal lif.. _

_He knew the women in his life deserved better. _

_It seemed like besides Haley, who'd always been a constant in his life, he'd only ever been able to do right by the women he had feelings for, for only a short period of time and alternating constantly. _

_He'd had a lot of time to ruminate on the latest changes in his life and he realized that when he wasn't hurting one girl, he was hurting the other. _

_In high school, when he was happy with Brooke, he was feuding with Peyton and vise versa. Now after four years which should have brought maturity, history was repeating itself except now he was hurting both Lindsay and Peyton. The former, because apparently his heart was 'conflicted' and the latter, because of his inability to express to her that he had let go of her for good. _

_Even when he wasn't trying, he was hurting people. Maybe he needed to reevaluate the relationships in his life in general, before falling back into something significant with Lindsay. _

_He couldn't put her through the hell the other women in his life had gone through. _

_Speaking of which, Brooke had not been answering her phone the entire day. Today she was supposed to get a response from the adoption agency and she still didn't call him. _

_He stopped by the store, worried about her, but Millicent said Brooke went home before lunch, claiming the heat was bothering her. As much as Lucas wanted to believe her, he had suspicions that something was wrong. _

_After all, if the answer had been good, she would have called him. She always called him when something happened. That's why he was so worried that she wasn't picking up. _

_Over the last few weeks, Lucas found himself more and more invested in Brooke's process of adopting. Ever since she told him about her plans, he couldn't shake the feeling of protectiveness he had over her and the concern that never let him stray too far from her. He worried about her and what she was getting herself into, so he couldn't just walk away. He needed to make sure she'd be okay. _

_Lucas smirked in deep thought as he approached her house; maybe he needed to let go of his constant need to protect other people. Maybe if he weren't so cautious of how he acted with Peyton, Lindsay wouldn't have suspected he had lingering feelings. Maybe… _

_Lucas stepped into the house quietly; a bit confused as to why the soft sounds of an unfamiliar but typical Peyton style Indie rock band reverberated through the foyer and living room. He thought Peyton would be at work. He stopped himself before he internally regretted his next thought. _

_He had been avoiding Peyton since the wedding, only hanging out with Brooke when he knew Peyton wouldn't be there, and while Brooke pressed the issue, she never pushed, she just let him do what he felt was right. Eventually however, Lucas began to feel guilty for pushing away his favorite blond. But with time his guilt dissipated into another feeling entirely. A feeling that reflected his confusion. He figured he shouldn't talk to Peyton until he knew what he was doing. _

_Whenever that may be. _

_At first, Lucas wanted to call out Brooke's name, but then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye in the kitchen. A pair of long, tanned legs that he could recognize anywhere. Legs that brought back good memories and bad, but mostly memories associated with any adolescent teenage fantasy you could imagine. _

_Lucas smiled in spite of himself, remembering just how adventurous he and Brooke were in high school. The heat was so potent in the room that he didn't even realize his internal temperature rise and the simple white wife beater sticking to his sides when Brooke stretched to place something on the top shelf in her kitchen and exposed to him a huge chunk of creamy skin on her midriff. _

_Lucas closed his eyes for a second, feeling a bit guilty for his blatant staring, but also he wanted to take a minute, hoping to rid himself of the delirious effects of such a heat wave. _

_When Lucas opened his eyes again, he was met face to face with his ex-girlfriend leaning against the wall in her kitchen, while watching him with a half-smirk. _

"_You know, I never pegged you for a stalker Luke." Brooke teased him, though half-heartedly. She realized from where she was standing, the light of the burning sun was illuminating the letter on the glass coffee table, only making the presence of her failure even more prominent. _

"_I'm not. I just couldn't figure out for a second why Peyton's Ipod was playing and she wasn't home." Lucas lied quickly and walked towards her. _

_Brooke took a step back, returning to her kitchen duties, "She's not home. I borrowed her Ipod, because the sound of the AC was on my nerves." _

_Lucas noticed that she lied just as quickly. When he leaned against the counter and watched her place barely used teacups into the cupboard, he noticed something was a little off. _

_First, she wouldn't meet his eye while she talked and the usual mirth behind every joke in her raspy voice was absent. Moreover, she was cleaning, which in Brooke Davis land was not a good sign. _

"_So, did you hear from the adoption agency yet?" Lucas asked quietly, and immediately he saw the brunette tense even further. Although he couldn't help but admire the subtle flex in her shoulder blades and the elegant jut of her collarbone, his thoughts stirred away from appreciation and into concern. _

"_Brooke…" His voice trailed off and he scooted closer to her, unaware of how dangerous the proximity would prove to be. _

_Brooke braced herself on the counter, her hands gripping dark marble, as she stared at her reflection. The counter had been wiped down so many times, she could see with definition the look of emptiness in her own eyes. This made her angrier for some reason and she pushed off the counter, headed towards the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine and a beer. _

"_You know I made Peyt clean out all the booze from the house before the stupid social worker came. She ended up stashing it in her room and thank god, because I really need something to take my mind off that fucking letter." Brooke murmured, unaware of how confused Lucas was. _

"_What letter?" Lucas asked tentatively, while Brooke popped the top of the beer and handed it to him. He murmured a thanks and she motioned him to the living room. _

"_That letter. It came in the morning today." Brooke replied, her voice devoid of emotion as she pulled out a wine glass from the shelf and poured herself a generous amount from the bottle she found in Peyton's room earlier. _

_Lucas walked over to the coffee table with a feeling of impending doom. He cursed himself for his intuition. He knew something was up with her, he should have been here this morning, comforting her, not letting her go through this alone. He had failed to fulfill the promise he made her when she first told him about her plans. _

"_I promise to be here for you Brooke." He'd said while squeezing her hand and she believed him. Now he could tell she was very close to breaking down and he had been ignorant of it all day. _

_He read the letter quietly, but not all the way through, the first few sentences gave him a general idea of what to expect so he put it down, because suddenly it was painful even for him to read the words on the paper. _

"_They obviously talked to Victoria." Brooke mumbled and Lucas immediately looked up at her. She was still leaning against the counter, except this time there was a glass of wine in her hand and she was staring at her feet. _

"_So fucking typical. Even after I fire her and think she's out of my life, she manages to remind me just how much she can still fuck with me." She added, taking a long sip from the wine glass._

_Lucas found himself tipping the beer bottle, without any words to say. _

"_Brooke. This is only one adoption agency. There're more we can try. They have to look beyond one person's opinion. Don't let this get to you." He spoke easily after a minute of pondering, but he could tell his words had no effect on Brooke. _

"_No Luke." She whispered, now looking up at the ceiling, in hopes of keeping her tears at bay, _

"_I'm done. This was a stupid idea. I'm not meant to have a child. I'm not meant to have it all, a career and a family. I am just being selfish." She continued, alternating between drinking from her glass and taking shallow breaths, _

"_I mean I'm Brooke Davis, successful fashion designer. I've got all the fame, money, and success I could ever want. Why should I ask for more when there're people worse off than me in this world? I should be donating to charity, not trying to be more selfish." Brooke murmured._

"_You do it because being successful isn't enough." Lucas said quickly and that seemed to spark something in Brooke's eyes. She looked up at him then, green eyes brimming with tears and her cheeks flushed from the great amount of wine she consumed in so little time. _

_Lucas thought she looked heartbreakingly beautiful, but he needed to believe it was just the heat talking, because he did not want to repeat the vicious cycle of hurting all the women in his life at once. _

"_It should be enough." Brooke countered, already refilling her wine glass and Lucas took that as a warning sign. Brooke, alcohol, and him did not mix, not now and not ever. _

_At least that was not something he was confused about. _

"_Brooke stop." He halted her actions and reluctantly, Brooke let him take the bottle away, _

"_Alcohol will not solve anything, it doesn't even make you forget all that much. If anything it reminds you of all the times you were even more unhappy than you are now."_

_Lucas knew that his halfhearted attempts at comforting her were failing. At the end of the day no matter how much he tried to rationalize it, Brooke would still think of herself as an unfit mother, just because someone else told her so. _

_Then as if a magical key turned in his head, Lucas found the right words to say. He suddenly realized that for Brooke this defeat was twofold. Not only was she being rejected a child, which she saw as an outlet for all the love bottled inside her, but also with this letter came the realization that she could be a bad mother, something that never even entered Lucas's mind. _

_Taking her small hand into his, Lucas urged Brooke to look at him as he said, "Brooke, if you're worried you will be a bad mother, I want you to forget about it. I see you with Jaime and I saw you with Lily when she was born. You are a natural mother, you have that instinct inside of you that not all women have, but you do and don't you dare let some stupid letter, from people who don't even know you, tell you otherwise." _

_Brooke looked at him for a second as if she almost believed him, but then she swallowed her hope right back, "But Luke, you don't get it. If they contacted my mother, which I'm sure they did, that means this decision was influenced by someone who knows me, hell someone who gave birth to me." Brooke exclaimed, pulling her hand away as if she'd been burned. _

"_Brooke, you know just as well as I do that real parents are not always the ones who are responsible for your birth, okay? Look at me, look at Nathan, hell look at Haley and Peyton. Dan was and is still the biggest jackass and he's our biological father. Haley's parents took off while she was still in high school and Peyton, her father was not her biological one, but he still ended up being the only constant in her life. Brooke, your mother does not know you just because she gave birth to you. It takes a lot more than that to know a person." Lucas said softly, figuring it'd be the best way to calm Brooke down, who was already beginning to show signs of her inner spitfire. _

_He walked up to her, and placed his hand on her bare shoulder. She stiffened but only slightly and after a moment even relaxed into his touch, as Lucas marveled at the creamy skin under his hand. Even though it was close to 100 degrees outside, the sun was at its hottest, and he was sweating like a pig, her skin was flawlessly smooth and soft, not clammy or sticky like his probably was and for a moment he let himself get lost in the sensation of touching her again. _

"_I know you." He said quietly, and despite the weather, goose bumps settled on Brooke's skin, because his breath was tickling her ear and she leaned back without even realizing, until her shoulder blades collided with his chest. Feeling the heat radiate off his skin was not as unbearable as the high temperature around them and suddenly both felt the distinction. _

"_I know you Brooke." Lucas repeated, placing a hand on her other shoulder and running his hands up and down her arms. He wasn't even conscious of his movements, or so he tried to reason with himself, because if he let himself stop and analyze the situation at hand, not only would the moment be gone, but also he'd be faced with the reality that Lucas Scott could never keep any of the women in his life at a distance. He always had to have them, and in the worst way possible: when he least expected it. _

_But instead of dwelling on the immorality of the situation, he let the words that came with a profound easiness escape his mouth before he regretted it, _

"_I know Brooke Davis and she will make a wonderful mother. Any child would be lucky to have her care for them, because it's what she does best. She takes care of everyone around her without asking for anything in return. She's selfless." Lucas whispered in her ear, unaware of the growing tension building inside her. _

_On one hand, Brooke wanted to scream at both of them for falling into their useless rhythm of comforting each other and breaking apart, but on the other she couldn't help but hope that this time would be different, that maybe in comforting her, Lucas could find something in her that would make him stay. _

_She twisted around in his embrace then, moaning in spite of herself when their torsos collided, realizing it was a bad idea not to wear a bra, because if Lucas didn't know she was aroused by their predicament before, he did now. _

_Nevertheless, he pulled her close, until her breasts were almost painfully pressed against his hardened chest. At that moment she looked up at him and Lucas reached up and brushed a stray hair off her forehead, a decidedly caring gesture that left her speechless._

"_Brooke Davis is selfless and that makes her incredibly beautiful." He murmured, their lips only inches apart, "and in this moment, also undeniably irresistible to me." _

_Without so much as a warning or even an asking of permission, Lucas wrapped his arms completely around her waist and kissed her. _

_Something changed in that moment for both of them. Maybe it was because they'd been seeing a lot of each other lately. Maybe it was because it seemed so natural not to question what was happening, or maybe it was even because they just needed the comfort only the other could provide. It didn't matter why something changed, but it did. _

_Thoughts of doubt, regret, anxiety, and fear escaped Brooke, while for Lucas the familiar feeling of kissing Brooke Davis, defined yet another first for him. _

_The first moment of clarity he'd had in a long time._

_If only he'd been able to stop and tell her what he had realized, but blame it on the heat or the primal yearning inside of him, Lucas could not stop what he was doing. Instead his arousal escalated and with it the urgency to have her flush against him increased even more._

_He'd already violently assaulted her mouth, plunging his tongue inside without proper introduction. Brooke seemed to comply with his ministrations, she wasn't lackluster in his arms, but she wouldn't accept the dominant role. In fact, Lucas refused to give it up. She needed to be taken care of, she did not need to be calling any shots and that would extend to their love making as well. _

_It was funny; in that moment Lucas didn't even catch himself thinking about having sex with Brooke until after it was already too late to take anything back. _

_Not that he wanted to, but already in his heart, when only kissing her, Lucas knew he would make love to her; and that moment of clarity, that wrinkle in time when he felt completely in control and aware of where he was headed, told him all ever needed to know. _

_That it was the warm, dimpled, green eyed brunette in his arms, not the blond woman in his literary world, that gave his life direction, beauty, and meaning._

TTTTTTTT


	12. Chapter 12: Without Hesitation

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: M

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for the constant reviews, they really inspire me. I've been watching some reruns of season 1 and had a lack of inspiration, because I remembered how much I actually liked Peyton back then. Hehe. Regardless, it can only be Brucas in the end and I bounced back with this update. The part in italics is the continuation of the flashback Lucas is having, I thought we were all in need of some "comfort" wink. I'm not totally happy with how it worked out, but I hope you like it.

Song: "Maybe Tomorrow" by Stereophonics

TTTTTTT

Chapter 12: Without Hesitation

TTTTTTT

_Brooke Davis always thought that conscience should be left out of the bedroom; however, as she led Lucas Scott to __**her**__ bedroom, her back pressed against his chest and his arms encircling her waist, she couldn't help but feel her conscience all around her. _

_It was ironic that after so many years and so many times of being __**that**__ girl, who got screwed over by her best friend and her boyfriend, she was in this position._

_Peyton was never far from her mind and it terrified her. She knew the repercussions of what they were about to do would be felt with full force as soon as they finished, but for some reason her feet led her up the stairs and down the carpeted hallway with ease.._

_She didn't know what Lucas was thinking. They hadn't spoken a word to each other since he kissed her and all she could see were glints of lust in his blue eyes, or at least what she thought was just lust. At some point during their exchange, she noticed something in his eyes she hadn't in a while, not since the speech he made to her on that fateful stormy night when she let him in again. _

_I've been down and  
I'm wondering why_

_That look in her eye was memorable for Brooke, because it was the first time she honestly believed Lucas loved her and what scared her even more this time around, was the possibility that high school was over, the drama was over, and the only thing standing between love and loneliness was her loyalty to Peyton, something that could no longer be rationalized. _

_Brooke looked up and opened the door to her bedroom, still holding Lucas's hand tightly. She thought that by the time they'd reach her room and be confronted with reality, it would make it easier for both of them to stop what they were doing. Maybe they could even laugh about it, after all the situation was ironic beyond irrationality. _

_Apparently Lucas had other ideas. _

_As soon as Brooke led him inside, he moved to sit on the bed and pulled her between his legs. His hands settled on her hips and he looked up at her through hooded blue eyes and began tracing the soft skin between her tank top and her shorts. _

_Brooke felt goose bumps spread through her entire body as soon as Lucas's hot breath settled on her stomach and the pads of his fingers caressed her skin. Her body was betraying her treacherously as she felt heat course through her like she'd just been lit on fire. _

_The feeling was familiar in an uncanny way. It reminded her of all the times Lucas and she had been so intimate, but it was almost always followed by heartbreak and at that moment, Brooke reached out and ran her fingers through his soft but short hair. Pulling his head back to look at her as he cradled her hips, Brooke exhaled softly and smiled almost sadly. _

"_Luke." She whispered, in some ways afraid to disturb the tranquility around them, _

"_What are we doing?" she mumbled, but her fingers were still messaging his hair, and her body was slowly falling into his. _

"_You tell me." Lucas responded and Brooke realized he was too far-gone. His eyes were dark cobalt and his hands were pressing almost painfully into her sides, but she wasn't afraid. _

_Moreover, she was very much turned on and it was becoming increasingly difficult to avoid the heat in the pit of her stomach or the urgency in her heart that kept telling her to stop fighting what was happening and let him in. _

"_Let him in." her heart screamed and she shut her eyes, trying to ignore the rational part of her brain that screamed, "Your best friend is in love with him"._

_These little black clouds  
Keep walking around  
With me_

_And although Brooke Davis would probably remember this moment for a very long time and constantly beat herself up over the decision she made, she didn't care, because she also knew subconsciously, that her mind and her heart were both screaming, "You love him too."_

TTTTTTTT

_Brooke's lips crashed on Lucas's without warning and he welcomed her kiss. She held his face in her hands and hungrily attacked his mouth, before slipping down to kiss his chin and jaw line. _

_Thoughts of doubt, regret, and Peyton escaped his mind as he returned her kiss fully and only pulled her back to unzip her shorts. He smiled when he saw the familiar tattoo on her right hip and gently reached down and traced it with his lips. _

_He swore he felt Brooke shudder and pulled her blue shorts down her smooth and shapely legs until she stepped out of them completely. _

_And he reached up to remove her tank top, but she halted his movements and pulled on the wife beater he was wearing._

_Lucas couldn't hide his anticipation as she rid him of his shirt and climbed on top of him. _

_He felt like a teenager again at the back of the Blue Post, excitement bubbling inside of him as he kissed Brooke for the first time. It was a feeling completely free of drama, anxiety, or worry. All three emotions, which seemed to define his relationship with Peyton and he couldn't ignore that familiar feeling of content as Brooke began kissing his collarbone and running her small hands down his happy trail, tracing his belt. _

_There was a reason why Brooke had been his first girlfriend, his first lover, his first love. _

_With her it was simple, not because she was a simple girl, but because she understood him. She might not have liked the music or books that he did, but she loved him and unconditionally for that matter. _

_Otherwise why would the most loyal friend in the world be kissing him when her best friend was so helplessly in love with him? _

_In that moment a twinge of guilt sparked a certain urgency in Lucas and he flipped them over, fulfilling his earlier promise. _

_She needed comfort. She needed him, and he wouldn't, no he couldn't, deny her. _

_He'd finally be there for her, like he'd vowed so often but never delivered. _

_Now he would. _

_It wastes time  
And I'd rather be high  
Think I'll walk me outside_

_His hand instinctively ran under her tank top, feeling the smooth skin of her stomach. He traced her belly button with his thumb and inched higher over her ribs, still keeping eye contact with her. _

_Brooke watched his eyes as she ran her hand up and down his right bicep tracing the tattoo she'd convinced him to get. _

"_You know." She said quietly, her raspy voice almost doing him in completely, "You'll always have a reminder of me." She smiled as the realization washed over her. _

_Lucas chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss her, _

"_I don't need a tattoo to remind me of you." He replied and at that moment his hand covered her naked breast, and Brooke arched into his touch instantly. _

"_Luke." She moaned and he could no longer take the long, stretched out teasing that had been their foreplay so far. He couldn't not kiss her fervently or trace her naked skin a bit roughly just to see her face contort in pleasure. _

_Most of all, he couldn't not feel himself inside her. _

_Pinching her nipple as she bit her lip, Lucas leaned down and began sucking on the pulse point at her throat, still remembering how it used to drive her practically mad with need when he did it to her so many years ago. _

_Come to think of it, he remembered quite a lot of things that Brooke liked during their lovemaking. Meanwhile, she wrapped her naked legs around Lucas's waist and began grinding her hips into his arousal. _

_The blonde's reaction was almost instantaneous. _

_He felt himself grow harder at the contact between them and after locking eyes with her for a second all bets were off. _

_Pretty soon her tank top was discarded along with his jeans and Lucas found himself kissing down the valley between Brooke's breasts and down her stomach, agonizingly slow. _

_Every once in a while, she'd arch her hips just to find some way to relieve her arousal but nothing seemed to work. Lucas couldn't help but appreciate the sight. _

_And buy a rainbow smile  
But be free  
They're all free_

_Here she was in a scrap of underwear, chest heaving, lips red and swollen, and he swore he'd never seen her look so incredibly attractive. There was just something insanely erotic about the way she bit her lip and tugged at his boxers that made him want to forget about everything around them and just love the girl writhing underneath him. _

_He surprised her then by slipping a finger inside her thong and brushing at the wetness he found. Brooke gasped involuntarily and almost rose off the bed, but quickly melted into the comforter, grasping onto it in hopes of riding out what could only be an impending orgasm. _

_And god did Lucas want to make her come. _

_He wanted to see her completely let go, forgetting, if only momentarily, about the bad news she'd gotten that morning, or about taking care of her best friend, or ignoring her bitch of a mother. _

_He just wanted to give her the kind of pleasure and comfort she'd been denied for so long. _

_Brushing his thumb over her clit, Lucas admired the way her body tensed at his touch and quickly removed her underwear. He kissed her knee and ran his tongue on the inside of thigh, all the while thinking about how incredibly good her skin felt against his lips. He watched with heated anticipation as her legs spread wider on their own accord and her hands began tracing circles in his hair. _

"_Luke." She whimpered, knowing full well how quickly he'd comply with her requests if only she asked in the raspy, seductive voice of hers. _

"_What babe?" Lucas snapped out of his trance and snaked his hand up higher on her thigh._

"_Stop teasing." Brooke said, while smiling shyly and falling back on the bed, her hands never letting go of his head. _

_As soon as his tongue connected with her soft flesh, Brooke led out a moan that reverberated through Lucas's entire body. In turn, he growled against her skin, only applying more pressure as he sucked her clit into his mouth and flicked it gently, knowing full well how it was about to set her off. _

_He was right, after a few minutes of his mouth against her, Brooke's movements became more erratic and her breaths were shallower. Knowing how close she was, Lucas brushed his fingers at her entrance and slowly slid them into her warmness. _

_I look around at a beautiful life  
Been the upper side of down  
Been the inside of out_

_In that moment, her body tensed and the first waves of an orgasm took over her body. _

_For the first time, Lucas realized how hot it was in the room, as he watched a bead of sweat roll down her chest during her spasms. He didn't stop his ministrations until he heard Brooke's moans die down and her breathing return to almost normal. _

_He then pulled himself up over her and she smiled through hooded lashes and flushed cheeks. _

"_Wow." She murmured, her shyness taking over a bit as she realized how long it'd been since she was in this position with Lucas. _

_Resting on his elbow, Lucas leaned in and kissed her, then brushed her bangs out of her eyes as her body curled into his chest instinctively. At that moment, despite his growing arousal Lucas would have been content to just hold her in his arms, but Brooke had evidently other ideas. _

_Instead of just settling next to him, Brooke teased the skin of his stomach, before snaking her hand inside his boxers and watching his eyes flutter and his jaw tense as she wrapped her fingers around him. It was a beautiful sight really, the glint of sweat on his forehead, the flexing of his muscles as he tried hard to resist the impending feeling of release as she moved her fingers faster and applied more pressure. _

_Brooke reached up and kissed him then, her tongue lathing his lower lip for entrance and it seemed like Lucas Scott reached his breaking point. He grabbed her wrist as he kissed her back and then looked her square in the eye. _

"_No more games Brooke." He said, his eyes serious and for a split second Brooke wondered if his statement extended outside their lovemaking. _

_Brooke nodded slowly and pulled his boxers down until he was able to maneuver out of them and pull himself on top of her completely. _

_It was a weird moment then, as their naked bodies made contact for the first time in over five years and it was Lucas's turn to shudder. He'd been able to keep his cool so far, but there was no denying that Brooke was bringing out a familiar reaction of love and lust out of him that not even his ex fiancé could. _

"_Should I?" His voice trailed off as he reached for his jeans, but Brooke stopped him, _

"_No, I'm safe." She replied with a small smile, appreciative of his concern. _

_That was the last thing Lucas did as a responsible adult that afternoon, because soon after he was burying his face in Brooke's neck, while thrusting in and out of her gently. _

_At first it was slow but passionate. Both were trying to get accustomed to their bodies again, reveling in the feeling of familiarity and pleasure that neither knew until that moment. _

_But we breathe  
We breathe_

_He brushed his hand over her breast, appreciating the moans she was making and the way her legs were wrapping tighter around his waist, begging to have him deeper inside her. _

_She was pressed so close against him, Lucas swore he could feel her heart hammering in her chest, or maybe it was his heart, he couldn't distinguish anymore. He reached down and brushed his lips above her left breast, running his tongue over the place where her heartbeat was most prominent. _

_Brooke caught his eye then, as he returned besides her, trying to find the words to describe how he was feeling, but nothing seemed to come to mind. _

_He shouldn't have been thinking of how he should express himself verbally, after all his body was doing the work for him, but he was a natural writer and one who had up until recently been suffering a major case of writer's block. Something the brunette beneath him seemed to cure with her mischievous smile and kind eyes when she waltzed into town four months ago.. _

_He wanted to make her understand how much she meant to him, how much of an influence she'd always been in his life, but most importantly he wanted her to know that this wouldn't just sex. He needed her to know that, so he said the only words that ever made sense to him, that he hoped would mean something to her. _

"_You'll always be my pretty girl." He said quietly, still keeping eye contact and watched as Brooke's cheeks flushed even more and her body arched into his. _

_I want a breeze and an open mind  
I want to swim in the ocean_

"_Luke, I'm so close." Brooke whispered, before sinking her teeth into the flesh of his bicep. _

_Lucas was a goner. His entire body felt like it was on fire, there was just no other way to describe it. He pulled himself up on his elbows and thrust harder, bringing himself down with a force that he knew only Brooke could match. _

_The spitfire beneath him didn't disappoint as she pushed her hips and rotated them, knowing exactly what to do to make sure Lucas was hanging on for dear life. _

"_Brooke, you have got to stop that." He let out a growl from deep inside his throat, almost threatening her to stop torturing him or he would finish before her. _

"_Or what?" Brooke challenged, teasing him with her seductive smile and lust filled eyes. _

"_Or I'll do this." Lucas smiled, snaking his hand over her left nipple and down her stomach until it disappeared between them and grasped the soft flesh above her entrance. He watched Brooke's eyes flutter shut and her mouth gape open as she bucked against his hand. _

_Her movements became more erratic again, the added pleasure from his torture triggered her release, along with which came his and suddenly, as Lucas removed his hand, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her lips, there was a moment that transpired between them. _

_Without the lightheartedness of mutual teasing, or the guilt embalming them in the late spring heat, their release brought a wave of emotion that threatened to destroy the pretense they held onto for the last three months. _

_His excuses to come see her and her yearning for a child were all suddenly masks behind which an ache was concealed to be with one another and the realization that they couldn't give in, because of the other people involved. _

_But now, after crossing the invisible barrier, it felt incredibly freeing to realize that there would be nothing holding them back, nothing to place blame on for not being together, and though there was still the question of the blond artist in their lives, for the first time both of them felt like this is where they should be._

_This wasn't just about sex and it was frightening and liberating at the same time to know that it wouldn't be over after this. _

_Not for a long time._

_Want to take my time for me  
All me_

TTTTTTTT

"Wow, is it hot in here or is it me?" Haley teased him and Lucas bowed his head down shyly.

"So what happened after? I'm assuming you guys didn't just vow to live happily ever after."

"Afterward, I told her I wanted to be with her. She already knew how I felt about Peyton, but I guess she still felt guilty, because she didn't really respond to me. But, you know Hales; I knew she felt what I felt. I knew it wasn't just sex and I also knew it wasn't something either of us could just forget about.

Anyway, we cooked dinner that night and just talked. It felt like we were back in high school, without all the drama and lying and backstabbing. So I knew I had to stop avoiding Peyton and tell her it was over between us for good. I went to her the next day but before I could get a word in edge wise she kissed me and told me this would be the last time she'd try to get back together. If I said no, she would be leaving back to Los Angeles."

"You said no right?" Haley interrupted him.

"Of course, I did!" Lucas exclaimed, still disbelieving that Haley could question him,

"She was hurt, but she understood. I figured I would hold off on telling her about me and Brooke until Brooke and I could do it together, but I never got the chance."

"She left." Haley mumbled, attempting to piece together the puzzle, but one question remained on her mind, "But why?"

Lucas looked up at her then, his eyes reflecting the hurt and regret triggered from recalling these memories.

"Because she saw Peyton and I kissing that morning and assumed I'd used her again, so she skipped town." Lucas sighed, finishing off his beer.

"Wait, and you just let her leave?" Haley asked, her voice rising.

"What was I supposed to do Hales? I professed my love to her the day before, I made my intentions clear, but she, she just took it all in without a word." Lucas sighed, stepping off the barstool.

Up until Haley actually said it out loud, Lucas was able to rationalize his passivity after Brooke left, but now with his best friend confirming the absurdity behind his actions, it all seemed too much to handle.

"Look, at first I rationalized it, but when I realized she was gone, I thought she changed her mind. And if she did, I did not want to pop back into her life unexpectedly like I did with Lindsay. I couldn't handle the rejection again." Lucas explained, earnestly believing at the time that he was doing what was in Brooke's best interest.

"So what happened now?" Haley asked softly, hoping to calm Lucas down.

"Now?" Lucas asked with a smile that seemed to light up his entire face.

"Now, she told me she loves me." Lucas said with almost a twinge of pride, getting lost in the memory of that sunny San Francisco morning when Brooke Davis admitted that she was still in love with him.

However, the memory was short lived as he was met by smack on the head,

"And why the hell are you in New York, while she's in San Francisco?" Haley asked suspiciously, her arms crossed over her chest.

"She thought it'd be best that we spend some time apart to figure out if this is really what we both want." Lucas explained sheepishly.

"And you bought it?" Haley exclaimed, shaking her head, "God, men are so clueless sometimes." She rolled her eyes and slipped back on the stool besides her very confused brother in law.

"Look, Luke I'm sure you want to do right by Brooke this time and I understand she might have thought it was a good idea to have a trial separation before anything serious happens, which I might add is a good idea since you two act like horny rabbits when you're within two feet of each other-…"

Lucas opened his mouth to object but Haley silenced him,

"No, listen to me. If I know Brooke, I know she's regretting every moment she is spending without you right now, and let me tell you, you don't look so ecstatically happy either. I don't want to scare you, but this situation seems awfully close to repeating history. Last time you guys had a passionate encounter, she left and you didn't even go after her. You didn't fight for her, and now she tells you to leave and you listen again-…"

Lucas tried to cut in again but Haley seemed unstoppable.

"You wonder why she closed herself off to you in high school. Unlike with Peyton, you never fought for Brooke and if you don't want to lose her, you have got to figure out some way to make sure she knows you're thinking of her, that you're with her, despite the distance." Haley suggested, finally taking a breath.

"You done Hales?" Lucas asked, a playful smile gracing his features.

"Yes." Haley replied, somewhat proud of herself for letting her best friend have it. It was about freaking time someone talked some sense into him, she thought.

"Good, because I'm one step ahead of you." He replied, and disappeared into his bedroom, returning with a small box.

_So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home_

"What's this?" Haley asked, curiously pulling the top off the cardboard case.

"These are postcards I picked up from every city I visited when I was on my cross country track." Lucas explained, picking up a postcard with the Golden Gate Bridge painted on it.

"Oh right, your soul searching trip." Haley teased and Lucas playfully nudged her.

"So what are you going to do with them anyway?" She asked, brushing her fingers over a postcard of Miami.

"I'm going to send her one for every day we are apart starting tomorrow. I have about a hundred here. I figure if I'm lucky she'll come back to me before I run out of cards." Lucas said enthusiastically and slowly slid down back on the barstool.

"I'm not letting her go this time Hales, I promise." He asserted seriously, after the initial enthusiasm over his plan wore off.

"It must be killing you, being away from her." Haley comforted, running her hand up and down his back.

Her soothing touch reminded Lucas of his mom and he looked over at Jaime on the computer, "He's grown up so much." Lucas suddenly changed the subject and Haley fully acknowledged just how hard this was on her best friend.

"Yes he has." Haley confirmed, allowing herself a moment to marvel at her son.

He was truly the perfect mix between Nathan and herself, adopting the best of both parents and even a little bit of a broody side from his uncle.

"He reminds me of you at that age." Haley added and Lucas chuckled to himself.

"I hope he has better luck with women." The blond sighed and Haley touched his shoulder again.

"She'll come back to you. You guys will find your way."

Lucas didn't say anything but nodded, his mind seemingly elsewhere.

"After all," Haley sat down next to him again, still running her hand down his back,

"People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end."

_So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home_

TTTTTTT


	13. Chapter 13: Ghost of Lovers Past

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hey guys! Wow!! Over 100 reviews are unprecedented for me. Thank you so, so much, I'm so honored to have so many sweet reviews and people actually putting me on story and author alerts. This fandom is the greatest and most supportive. Thank you. Anyway, this chapter is semi-filler but not, and I'm sorry you've had to wait for so long but I wanted it to be perfect, because it is a nice transition. It unfortunately sets up some drama for the future. I hope you don't hate me for putting our favorite couple through the angst wringer a bit more, but it'll be totally worth it. Thank you!!

TTTTTT

Chapter 13: Ghost of Lovers Past

TTTTTT

The sheer amount of people mingling in the huge room amplified Lucas's anxiety by maybe a thousand when he walked into the transformed publishing house. Taking a deep breath and ridding his white dress shirt of the top two buttons, the established writer weaved his way through the masses to get to the horseshoe shaped bar in the center.

He figured he would only survive this night if he had a little bit of alcohol in his system. As he slid onto the edge of the bar, he had a strange case of déjà vu followed by an image of long, tanned legs descending the stairs in silver stilettos. His mind was so clouded with memories of Brooke that he didn't even notice a very familiar figure slide down on the bar next to him.

"So Haley told me you weren't yourself, but man was she sugarcoating it."

Lucas looked to his side and the familiar half smirk of his little brother filled him with mixed emotions. He was overjoyed at seeing Nathan again, but was afraid of his reaction to Lucas's lack of keeping in touch. Nathan was the stubborn one and sometimes it was harder to regain his trust than Haley's.

"Nate." Lucas said, a smile playing on his lips, "It's good to see you." He reached his hand out, to bump knuckles with his brother, kind of like they used to do back in high school and although there was a flash of hesitation in Nathan's blue eyes, Lucas was relieved when his brother reached out and extended his fist.

"Likewise. Don't look so surprised that I'm not welcoming you with a black eye. I'm sure Hales did a number on you." Nathan teased as he signaled the bartender, leaving Lucas even more amazed that after such a long separation, Nathan could still tell what Lucas was thinking without him saying it.

It made the blond Scott wonder exactly how the two brothers managed to evade each other all those years that Dan separated them.

"Yeah, she did. What are you doing here anyway? Hales said there was no one to watch Jamie tonight." Lucas replied, taking a sip of his beer.

"Oh, she decided to take Jamie to Times Square and told me to go check up on you, because she wants someone to be here for you tonight, probably since you're already sweating from so many people being here." Nathan explained and surprised Lucas yet again with his acuity.

"Well I'm glad she did, because there're so many people here it's freaking me out and then later I have to make a toast to our opening and Emily's book."

"So you probably should stop at one beer, drunken toasts are never end well." Nathan suggested, nudging Lucas playfully.

They fell into an easy silence from then, occasionally Nathan would talk, filling Lucas in on his blossoming basketball career, on Haley's music, and Jaime's upcoming summer at basketball camp.

The more Nathan talked, the guiltier Lucas felt for being so self involved that he didn't even wonder what his family was up to. He remembered a time when he was living in Tree Hill, constantly surrounded by people who he cared so much about, Nathan, Haley, Jamie, his mom, Skillz, even Peyton, and especially Brooke.

God, he'd screwed that up so badly. If only he had chased after her?

Lucas willed himself not to focus on the past but it was so difficult. He couldn't imagine spending another two and a half months away from his pretty girl. It was really wearing him down and obviously even Haley noticed it, without so much as having a clue as to what he'd been up to for the last year.

When Lucas snapped out of his reverie, Nathan had finished talking and was people watching. Lucas sighed heavily, checking his watch to make sure he wasn't late to meet up with Jack and Emily before they made their speeches, and said,

"Nathan, you know I appreciate you coming here to make sure I am alright, but I don't really deserve it. I've been a complete ass by not keeping in touch this passed year and I'm sorry for it, I genuinely am. I'm not asking for forgiveness though, because I'm going to make sure that I'm there for every birthday, anniversary, first day of school, or just because from now on. I'm sick of fucking everything up and I'm going to change. I promise."

Nathan looked at him for a second before speaking, "I know you will Lucas, but I promise you that you didn't fuck it up with her. It's not over between you guys, not for a long time anyway."

At first Lucas was confused about whom Nathan kept referring to, but then he realized and almost laughed. His brother was never really good with being vulnerable with his feelings, except with Haley, so Lucas wasn't surprised that he used Brooke as a shield not to respond to Lucas's declaration.

However, in supporting his relationship with Brooke, Nathan was cryptically letting his brother know that they were okay.

"So I take it Haley told you?" Lucas asked uncertainly.

"Yeah she did." Nathan said.

"And?"

"I don't know Luke. I don't blame Brooke for leaving." Nathan admitted and Lucas's heart sank. He really hoped Nathan would see his side of things and not judge him for the mistakes he made, but apparently he was siding with Brooke.

"But Nathan-…"

"You didn't let me finish." Nathan halted him, "I don't blame Brooke for leaving, because of your history with Peyton, but this whole three month hiatus thing she came up with has got to be one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard of. It's ridiculous. Haley leaving on tour and me acting like a dumb ass for three months nearly destroyed our marriage for good and if she didn't learn from our mistakes, I can't really say I blame you for being upset at her for sending you away."

Lucas would have been relieved that Nathan supported him on this, had it not been for the fact that his brother misunderstood his feelings.

"Nate, I'm not mad at her, I just-its like do you remember when Dan coached us and I missed the last shot of the game junior year?" Nathan nodded, "Well, it's like the dream was so close to me, within reach almost and it was torn away, because of one stupid miss, that's how I feel right now. I feel like Brooke tore the dream away from me, if only for a little while. Mostly I guess I'm just scared that we won't be able to pick up right where we left off. What if I change? What if she changes? We've had so many chances and I feel like I keep fucking them over for us." Lucas admitted, taking a long sip from his beer.

"I guess I see where you're coming from. It must suck to know she's doing this, because she's scared to let you in, but sometimes we all have to grow up and suck it up. She needs to let you in all the way for this to work, and you know, maybe for her that'll happen with time."

"Maybe." Lucas mumbled unconvincingly, "But I'm going to do a few things differently this time."

"Oh yea? Like what?" Nathan asked, actually intrigued.

"I'm going to make sure she knows that not a day goes by that I don't think about her." Lucas smiled, and Nathan recognized that starry eyed look on his brother's face. He'd seen it a million times before when the mention of Brooke ever came up.

That's how Nathan knew that Lucas's feelings for the brunette were never superficial, even if he did happen to screw up sometimes.

"Good. I'm glad your head is out of your ass on that account, but anyway, when is this thing over, I'm starving." Nathan asked and Lucas laughed at his brother's typical lighthearted mood.

"Hey, I'll tell you what. I'm going to go find my coworker and my star author, see if we can speed up this speech thing a bit, then I'll do some required mingling and we can get out of here. Whaddaya say?"

" I say I better not be here for more than an hour." Nathan winked as Lucas slid off the barstool.

"Scott's honor." Lucas saluted as he proceeded to walk away; he stopped midway when Nathan called his name.

"Luke, I don't think I've told you this recently, mostly because you haven't responded to my emails, but I'm proud of you man. This-…" Nathan gestured around the huge room,

"This success is something you've deserved all along and I'm glad you have it."

Lucas was speechless for a moment, not remembering the last time Nathan had been so upfront with his feelings towards him, but he smiled anyway and yelled a thank you over the loud music.

Walking backwards away from the bar, Lucas never saw the strawberry blond woman holding a martini in a strapless midnight blue dress until it was too late and he bumped into her.

"Oh god I am so sorry." He exclaimed, reaching down to pick up the glass he knocked over and grabbing some napkins off a near by high table.

"It's okay, serves me right for not watching where I was going." The blond, who had yet to show her face, replied, and Lucas froze.

Despite the many women in his life, he could recognize that low, kind voice from anywhere, even though it'd been more than five years since he last saw her.

"Lindsay is that you?"

The blonde looked up then and they both took a moment to size each other up,

"Hi Lucas. Long time no see."

TTTTTTT

Finished sketches laid on the kitchen table along with scattered pencils and paper. She needed at least ten different designs for the low key fashion show coming up, but she already had twenty different dresses, skirts, pants, and tops to choose from. She even attempted to sketch some possibilities for summer sandals and autumn boots, but so far nothing seemed to stand out to her.

It was late evening and the sky was clear for the first time in a more than a couple weeks. The stars were shining brightly in the dark blue canopy and the moon was illuminating the darkness of the ocean as Brooke sat looking out the window with an unopened bottle of wine standing next to her.

It had been a stressful week for her, mostly because everything work related seemed to be ahead of schedule, which left her even more time to ponder on what the hell she was doing. Every day that passed she thought about Lucas and the decision she made, which seemed so many moons ago.

Brooke could not fathom that it'd only been less than two weeks since he left, and how each day since had seemed to drag on indefinitely. It was undeniably hard to deal with the consequences of encountering her first love after so many years of separation. Of course, now she figured out it'd been her own insecurity that caused a rift between them so many years ago, but Brooke's stubborn nature wouldn't let her admit it to anyone else.

Rachel had been extremely supportive through the whole ordeal, proving to Brooke that she made the right decision by helping out her friend when she needed her, but sometimes not even Rachel's loyalties could get rid of the building anxiety inside Brooke's heart.

Tonight was especially rough, because she knew it was the grand opening of Raven Publications and Luke's first author's book release party. She knew it was a huge deal for him and the fact that she wasn't there to support him completely and utterly crushed her.

In these moments, she contemplated booking a one-way ticket to NY and forgetting about all the fucked up things that happened between them in the past. She wanted so badly to surprise him in New York, tell him she loved him so deeply that it was killing her to be without him, even though it was her choice.

However, as soon as thoughts of running back home entered her mind, her rational side reminded her that they needed this time apart. She couldn't yet pinpoint why exactly, but she knew they did; if only to stand on their own two feet again, to know what it felt like to be independent but still have someone waiting for you. Brooke just hoped she'd made the right decision yet this emotional teeter-totter she was on wasn't helping matters.

Leaning her forehead against the cool glass of the window, Brooke shut her eyes for a moment, reveling in the silence around her when her phone vibrated from somewhere within her purse.

Reluctantly she slid off the window seat and made her way to kitchen counter where her purse lay. Taking the phone out, she didn't bother checking caller ID and just answered,

"Hello."

"Brooke its Alex. I've got great news."

"Oh hey, what's up?"

She couldn't help but be disappointed. It's not like she didn't have fun with Aleksandr, she did and he was a great client, not to mention a growing friend, but sometimes she wished Lucas would surprise her and let her know he was thinking of her, at least in some small way. Then she remembered how broken he looked when she asked him not to call or email her and suddenly she felt angry with herself for even hoping it was Lucas calling.

"Well don't sound too enthusiastic." Aleksandr teased in his heavy accent and Brooke smiled, "C'mon village boy, spill."

"So you know how I told you I would give you opportunities like no other? Well surprise, surprise but a few of my business partners noticed the outfit I wore to our lunch yesterday and inquired about my stylist. Naturally, I told them you also designed the clothing, if you don't mind-…"

"Alex! I can't believe you did that, you know I don't design men's apparel."

"I know, but it's never too late to start is it?"

The man sounded hopeful, but Brooke was simply irritated. She didn't have time to design a line for men's clothing, it seemed like Aleksandr was overstepping his boundaries.

"Look Alex, I have a fashion show coming up August 16th and I don't have time to design-…"

Halfway through her rant, she turned her head and observed the coffee table. On it were at least twenty different ready to make designs and Brooke couldn't deny that if she turned down this opportunity she would be sabotaging the company she worked so hard to build from the ground up.

"Brooke? You still there?"

"Yes I am Alex. Look I'm sorry for snapping at you, this is a great opportunity and I'd be stupid not to take it-…"

"But…"

"But I'm not exactly in such a good mood today, can we talk about this tomorrow, one day isn't going to change their minds, is it?"

"No, no it's not Brooke, but you should tell me what's going on, because you don't sound like yourself."

Although he seemed genuinely interested in her well-being, Brooke couldn't help but scoff at his choice of words. Just because she wasn't laughing, or joking, or just being silly automatically disqualified her from being the usual Brooke Davis and this pissed her off, perhaps because the only boy who had ever taken the time to get passed that façade was now in New York City, because she pushed him away.

"I'm fine Alex. It's almost midnight, I need to get to bed."

"Or, I can bring over a pizza and we can talk?"

"Alex…" Brooke's voice trailed off, already flashbacks of all the late nights Lucas and her got pizza and stayed up half the night talking entered her mind, the most recent one very vivid.

"Brooke, I know we don't talk about you or your past, but I'm pretty sure your heart belongs to someone else, so it's not like I'm going to try and seduce you, but I mean if you want to…"

Brooke laughed in spite of herself, "That's really funny, but no thanks."

"No thanks to my seducing tactics or to the pizza?"

"No to you, yes to pizza. I like mushrooms and pepperoni. See you soon."

Brooke hung up without waiting for Aleksandr to respond and quickly moved to clear up the coffee table; in the midst she spotted one particular design that caught her eye.

It was a take on the classic wedding dress, with a beaded bodice and a long flowing train. She immediately thought back to Lucas and Lindsay's wedding five years before and how she'd designed a similar gown for the future Mrs. Lucas Scott.

"Funny how things work out in the end." She murmured to no one in particular and reached for the nearby bottle of wine, hoping to forget that this wasn't the end and there could be tragedies to come.

TTTTTTT

By the time they exchanged pleasantries and the necessary information about each other's whereabouts for the last five years, Lucas led Lindsay to the balcony in the back of the building. The crowd was less daunting outside and Lucas felt more at ease, which was surprising, considering that he just ran into his ex fiancé, who he hadn't seen in almost five years.

"So." Lindsay began, breaking his reverie, "I guess the million dollar question would be why such a talented writer as your self chooses to hide behind a publishing house instead of chasing his dreams again."

Lucas wasn't expecting this candor from her, it was usually something he'd expect from Brooke, but he reasoned that Lindsay was an all together different person five years later and he had no right to judge her character.

"I'm not hiding." He mumbled, though unconvincingly and leaned against the railing.

"Right." Lindsay rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink, "You know Luke, we might not know each other anymore, but I still remember your gift and it's a shame to waste it on an editor position."

"Are you sure we're not talking about you?" Lucas asked, and admitted that his ricocheted question was a bit lame. Ever since he first met Lindsay, almost eight years ago, he knew she loved her job.

"Oh Luke, you know I love my job, there is nothing I'd rather do for a living than help others achieve their literary dreams." Lindsay replied, "You on the other hand are hiding behind other great authors. By the way I read Emily Brecker's novella and it's amazing. You do have a knack for picking them."

"See, maybe I'm not just wasting away as you so elegantly put it." Lucas supplied, but Lindsay was one step ahead.

"Yeah you are. You're running from something, otherwise you would have published your second novel a long time ago."

Lucas paused before speaking, because he knew his explanation would rehash the past they both so carefully buried. It scared him to know that he might hurt her again, even without thinking about it.

"I didn't publish my second book, because I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already have." Lucas replied quietly and suddenly Lindsay's playful smile vanished from her face.

Lucas looked down guiltily, cursing his decision to bring that up again.

"It wouldn't have hurt me any more Lucas, I assure you." Lindsay replied firmly and Lucas looked up at her, surprised she was speaking so coldly all of the sudden.

But then, a smile revisited her face,

"I'm seeing someone now." Lindsay explained, fiddling with the olive in her drink, "I have been for a while, so I hope you know I'm not bitter or angry anymore. If I was, do you think I'd be here?"

Lucas smiled softly, "Yeah, I guess not. I'm sorry it was presumptuous of me to assume that you'd still be hung up on little ole' me after all these years."

He wanted to lighten the mood and Lindsay couldn't blame him so she decided to admit something she hadn't to anyone in at least a couple of years,

"Don't underestimate your powers of heartbreak Lucas Scott. If you would've ran into me a year ago, I would've stabbed you." She admitted lightheartedly and Lucas couldn't help but keep smiling.

"You're amazing, you know that. Thank you for coming, it means a lot."

"No problem, I have to size up my competition you know." Lindsay deadpanned, but when Lucas pulled her into a hug, she accepted gladly, melting into his strong arms, only to find that she wasn't having the same bitter thoughts about him that she used to.

She finally found closure, which could have only been the reason behind her next question,

"So, speaking of comets, where is Peyton?"

Lucas froze with his arms around Lindsay and pulled back slowly,

"What?" She asked, confused as to why Lucas suddenly stilled.

"Lindsay, I hate to break it to you, but Peyton and I aren't together, hell we're not even friends."

"What do you mean?" The blond editor asked somewhat insecurely, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well, despite what everyone else tried to tell me, including you, I was never in love with Peyton and she finally realized that after I didn't want to get back together with her when you and I split up."

Lucas couldn't imagine what was going through his ex fiancé's head right now. As far as she was concerned, for the last five years she could safely hide behind the fact that she let Lucas go so he can be with his great love, and now everything changed.

"What about the book, your first one, your second?"

Lucas reached out and squeezed Lindsay's shoulder comfortingly,

"I was in love with Peyton when I wrote an Unkindness of Ravens, but the second book was about hope and yearning, which as I realized later on it was never about Peyton."

"But Luke, I saw the car, she drives a Comet." Lindsay replied back adamantly and almost missed the fond look in Lucas's eyes.

"Yeah, and as I comprehend it now, the comet didn't represent Peyton, but it did symbolize where Peyton led me, or more specifically to whom." Lucas explained somewhat cryptically, but Lindsay was, as usual, one step ahead of him.

"Brooke." She murmured almost to herself, but Lucas heard her and nodded.

"Without meeting or pining after Peyton all those years, I would have never met Brooke and I would have never realized just how madly in love I've been with her for so many years."

It was liberating to talk so openly about his feelings for the second time that day, but Lucas didn't continue on, because he knew there were certain boundaries you didn't cross with people you used to love, and Lindsay was above all an exception.

Seeing her again, talking to her, admiring how pretty she truly was, made his heart ache. He had definitely taken her for granted so many years back, he strung her along, and proposed to her, because it was the logical thing to do, so he could hide from his subconscious feelings, and to talk about the woman he was in love with now, seemed almost sadistic.

"That's incredible." Lindsay let out a small chuckle, "I guess all those years ago I'd been worried about you falling for Peyton, I never even thought Brooke was a possibility."

Lucas laughed as well, because it did seem slightly ludicrous that while everyone pushed him in one direction, towards one woman, his heart just refused to cooperate and went into a completely different direction as soon as it had the chance.

"Brooke has always been a possibility. She never went away, she's always been my shoulder without me even knowing and when she needed me to be the one to save her, I disappointed her." Lucas admitted and Lindsay's heart sank.

The way the conversation was headed earlier, it seemed like Lucas had moved on and was happily married or dating Brooke, but Lindsay realized that they'd been on the balcony for over thirty minutes and no one came looking for him, and also there was no wedding band on his finger.

"Lucas, I'm sorry." Lindsay murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder.

It reminded him of Haley's mothering gesture from earlier and it took him every bit of strength he had not to break down and tell Lindsay the entire story right then and there.

But as he gripped the railing and looked sideways into Lindsay's concerned stare, he knew he couldn't put her through the emotional wringer, so he just nodded and gave her a small smile, "However, the story doesn't end there."

"So you are together?" She asked hopefully, as if this was another fictional love story she was rooting for.

"We're working through issues right now. She's in San Francisco on business, that's why she hasn't come looking for me." Lucas explained and Lindsay let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Oh, well that explains why it's so quite out here, if Brooke was here, there'd be havoc." Lindsay teased and Lucas couldn't agree more.

"You know Luke." Lindsay said after a few minutes of comfortable silence,

"I genuinely wish good things for you, I know that may be surprising since I left you at the altar, but you opened my heart and I want to thank you for that." Lindsay reached out and squeezed his hand.

Lucas couldn't help but marvel at the woman Lindsay still was, he wished his heart had not been so stubborn then and had fallen in love with the remarkable person in front of him.

But then thoughts and images of Brooke entered his mind like a kaleidoscope of memories that permanently clenched his heart and he knew then, as he always did in moments when he thought about the brunette, that his heart and soul belong to only one person and this time he would fight for her harder than ever.

Lucas leaned in then and placed a soft kiss on Lindsay's cheek as a thank you for singing his praises, in their friendly embrace, neither noticed the click of multiple cameras from not so far away…

TTTTTTT


	14. Chapter 14: Running in Slow Motion

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for the kind reviews on the last chapter, your speculations are always wonderful to read as well as the compliments. Thank you also for waiting for this update, I had a hard time transitioning but here it is. As promised, since there was a lot of Lucas in the last chapter, I'm balancing this one out with a lot of Brooke.

TTTTTTT

Chapter 14: Running in Slow Motion

TTTTTTT

When Rachel walked into Brooke's house that morning, she had a strange case of déjà vu. Once again she tripped over a pair of male shoes and noted that there was a guy passed out on the couch in the living room, covered with the same pink duvet that Lucas was sleeping under so many days ago.

She would have been concerned that Brooke was dealing with the separation not in the best manner by bringing random men home, but when she stepped closer she realized that the occupant on their sofa was none other than Alexandr, Brooke's most recent business partner.

Rachel scowled at the thought, because although it seemed that Alex didn't have an ulterior motive when it came to her best friend, considering he hadn't made a move on her in the whole month they'd been working together, she was still worried that they were getting closer and closer by the minute.

Maybe she was jealous, but that didn't seem to be it. After all, Rachel knew that no one could replace her in Brooke's life, shortcomings and all, so she wasn't sure why she was so worried. But the feeling was still there and she couldn't shake it.

"See anything you like?" a familiar raspy voice broke through Rachel's thoughts and her head snapped up.

Brooke was leaning against the hallway with her hand wrapped around a coffee mug and her signature dimples in full view.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Is it me, or do the men in your life really like sleeping on that couch?"

She breezed through the question in true "Rachel" fashion and threw some mail onto the breakfast bar.

"So where were you last night, or should I say the passed few nights? You haven't slept in your own bed since like forever." Brooke declared, while walking towards the kitchen.

"Well, what can I say, San Francisco has been very welcoming." Rachel smirked and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I take it Dan the Web man is treating you well." Brooke teased further on and didn't miss the scoff on her friend's face.

"Oh please, you think I kiss and tell?" Rachel asked sarcastically and leaned on the counter, picking up the latest tabloid, which Brooke insisted get delivered to her house every morning, if only to check if anything was being said about her.

"I'm sure you don't just 'kiss'. If that's what you're implying." Brooke joked and Rachel would have had a smart comeback at the tip of her tongue if something on the second page of the magazine didn't make her jaw drop.

Brooke must have noticed the lack of comment from her friend, because she raised an eyebrow and asked, "Hey, all hell might have frozen over if you can't say something back to me. You are always so good with the snide commentary." Brooke teased from across the counter, but Rachel rebounded quickly.

"Oh sorry, my bad, I guess I was just distracted." She mumbled to herself, fingering the page of the magazine she couldn't put away.

"Rach, what are you staring at?" Brooke asked curiously and reached across the bar to grab the magazine, but Rachel jerked the paper back.

"It's nothing, I promise." She replied back quickly, dropping the magazine on the floor, hoping Brooke wouldn't persist.

"Oh c'mon Rach, let me see. You know I love tabloids." Brooke whined, already making her way towards her friend.

"Brooke it's nothing, I promise, I'm just going to go to my room, grab a shower okay?" The redhead quickly picked up the magazine and tried to make a beeline for the hallway, but Brooke caught her and snatched the _Inquirer_ away.

"C'mon I want to see. It can't be that bad, what did they say I have a fat ass or something?" Brooke asked, already flipping passed the first page and Rachel knew it wouldn't do any good for her to hide the article and accompanying picture.

"Brooke, just don't believe everything the tabloids say or print okay?" Rachel cautioned, but it was already too late.

Brooke dropped the magazine as soon as her eyes connected with the page.

"He wouldn't." she whispered unconvincingly and Rachel reached out to touch her, but Brooke recoiled back, her hands connecting with the front doorknob.

"I've got to get out of here." She mumbled, blindingly flinging the door open and running down the street.

"Brooke wait." Rachel yelled after her, picking up the magazine off the floor.

As she was about to run after her friend, she almost forgot about the slumbering occupant in the room.

Alex was jolted awake when the front door flung open and hit the wall,

"I'm up, I'm up." He mumbled sleepily, trying desperately to figure out where he was in his half conscious state.

He looked at Rachel, then at the open front door, and scratched his head,

"Was that Brooke?"

"She went for a run." Rachel replied sarcastically, grabbing her keys and purse off the table.

"Seriously? What happened?" He asked, concern growing for his newfound business partner and friend.

"Lucas Scott happened." Rachel shot back and shoved the tabloid magazine into Alex's hand, before walking out the front door, leaving a very confused Ukrainian behind.

The name Lucas Scott wasn't familiar to Alex in the least bit, but when he picked up the magazine, he could at least match the name to a face.

The opening paragraph caught his eye.

_"During his very first book release party as a successful publisher, former best selling author and co-owner of Raven Publications, Lucas Scott steals a moment away from the festivities to rekindle an old flame, fellow editor Lindsay Strauss. Sources say the two were engaged at some point in the past, when they lived in Scott's hometown of Tree Hill, North Carolina. Do old flames really go away? I suppose not."_

Alex stopped reading at that point to look down at the picture gracing much of the page. The photograph was obviously taken without the subjects' knowledge, because the two blondes in the freeze frame looked like they were having an intimate moment. The man, whom Alex assumed to be Lucas Scott, has his hand on the woman's lower back, and from this angle it looked like they were embraced in a kiss of sorts.

Setting the paper aside, Alex rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to figure out what about the article was so unsettling to him and then he realized that what little he knew of Brooke Davis, he knew she loved her hometown of Tree Hill, NC.

Standing up from his cramped position on the couch, Alex realized two things.

First, he reaffirmed what he'd known for the passed few days now: he cared for Brooke Davis, and second, whatever made Brooke run out of here like she was on fire had to do with the blond writer from the tabloid, whom Alex was already starting to dislike.

TTTTTTT

Brooke Davis hated breaking promises to herself, but here she was, sitting on a transit bus stop and doing the one thing she promised herself never to do again.

Cry.

Cry over Lucas Scott. She'd shed enough tears, because of him over the decade and now even without being physically here, he could still make her wish that the world would swallow her up, so she wouldn't have to deal with any more disappointment.

It was beyond ridiculous at this point. How could he? That son of a bitch, that stupid, stupid, former basketball player who stole her heart with one look and a willingness to get inked just to be in her presence. That asshole, how could he do this again?

She trusted him. God, she really was the biggest masochist on earth. How did she even fool herself into believing people change, because they didn't, and the fact that Lucas was off in New York City having the time of his life, kissing his ex fiancé, while she was on the opposite coast, sulking at least for half an hour a day about being away from him proved one thing and one thing only.

People did not change and Lucas Scott was _people_.

He was also the first person who didn't label her as a slut, want to just sleep with her, or use her for kicks, because he knew she was easy. He was the first person to reach inside her soul and find something to grab onto, which he wasn't letting go of even now.

He was also incredibly selfish and had a propeller in his ass, which wouldn't allow him to wait for the girl, or girls, he claimed to love.

In that moment, Brooke couldn't help but think back to his proposal to her then best friend, Peyton Sawyer. Peyton asked him to wait for her and he didn't, so why would Brooke ever assume that he would wait for her.

He'd written an entire novel declaring his love for Peyton Sawyer, he'd written maybe half a page about his relationship with Brooke and even then, it seemed so forced and all he could say is that she was fiercely independent.

And so what? Here she was being "fiercely independent" and she supposed that he expected her to "independently" mend her broken heart yet again.

God, she was so stupid, so fucking clueless, no wonder she was so fucking _independent,_ she kept screwing herself over by falling back in love with the same blond boy who she had given so many chances to, it was impossible to keep count.

Brooke couldn't believe her fear came true. She couldn't believe she was dumb enough to buy into his stupid lies, his promises that he'd be thinking of her everyday until they could be together again.

If he couldn't wait for Peyton, why would he wait for her? What was so special about Brooke Davis?

Wiping a few stray tears off her face, Brooke thanked god that the bus stop was deserted; otherwise she would have made a complete embarrassment of herself in front of strangers.

Leaning against the Plexiglas, she thought about the rainy night that seemed so many moons ago, when she asked Lucas that very question and she remembered the speech he gave her, she must have been so dumb to believe it then, and here was the proof.

She wasn't special, she was a nobody to him, otherwise how could he just kiss Lindsay like that, an old flame no less, after proclaiming his love for _her_.

It was really her fault. She should have seen it coming. He had jumped into Peyton's arms so quickly in high school, even though the corny speeches and decorated lockers were reserved for Brooke, it was never enough.

She, apparently, was not enough.

If she were, he wouldn't run into other women's arms every time shit hit the fan for them.

She couldn't even blame Peyton for this one, which made it even scarier.

Before, in high school when Lucas and Peyton had their forbidden love going on, at least then Brooke could bitch and moan about how unfair and betraying it was for the two blondes to go behind her back, but Lindsay was innocent. If anything, she was probably the victim of the Lucas Scott charm just like Brooke was, so she couldn't blame her.

She couldn't blame Lucas either, she should have known, she should have taken her mother's advice when Victoria told her to stay away from Lucas, from Tree Hill, from that life that Brooke so delicately built for herself.

"_Perhaps Tree Hill seems like home, but there's nothing there, no friends, family, or love, remember that Brooke." _Victoria said to her, when Brooke asked to go back to Tree Hill for Christmas the first year she was working with her mother.

Brooke never went, and she should have stayed away even when Peyton decided to go back. That was probably her first mistake.

If she hadn't gone back, she would have never slept with Lucas and even if they would have run into each other here in San Francisco, that can of worms wouldn't be opened, old wounds would be healed, and she could find someone else.

Now, the idea of trusting someone else with her heart was almost nauseating.

Actually it was extremely nauseating, Brooke thought, and just then her body seemed to agree with her, she clapped her hand over her mouth until she ran towards some bushes and then in a very un-lady like manner, which Victoria would undoubtedly disapprove of, proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach.

Pulling back, Brooke considered returning to the house, but that made her almost throw up again, so instead she turned in the opposite direction, intent on walking as far away from where she saw the picture of Lucas as possible, when she heard Rachel calling her name from a distance.

Something made Brooke stop and wait for her.

Perhaps it was the desperation in Rachel's voice, or the fact that Brooke knew she couldn't really handle this alone, but the brunette was rooted in her place even as Rachel approached her.

"Damn these fucking hills." The redhead mumbled as she walked up, "You okay?" the taller woman asked, concern etched on her face with the same deliberation as the dark eyeliner.

"Fine." Brooke said too quickly, staring off into the distance, "Can't say the same for your Manolos though." She nodded towards the ruined heel of Rachel's black boot.

Rachel let out a chuckle and wobbled to the sidewalk, "I guess you're going to have to sit with me here and talk then."

Brooke sighed and followed her, "Anything for your shoes." She quipped back as Rachel examined her heel.

Silence fell upon the duo until Rachel asked, "Sorry, but is that vomit on your shirt?"

Brooke's cheeks reddened a bit and she bowed her head down, "There's nothing like seeing Lucas Scott kissing yet another blond when he's presumably with me to make my bulimic tendencies act up." Brooke smirked, intent on studying her nail.

"Yeah, and did you see the ugly dress she was wearing, God, someone better tell that editor chick that wearing dark blue at night makes you blend in with the sidewalk."

Brooke really did appreciate Rachel's superficial attempts at improving her mood, but they both couldn't deny that Lindsay was beautiful and always had been. It just sucked that they apparently had feelings for the same guy and she was having better luck with him.

Brooke didn't say anything and she could tell Rachel was getting impatient.

"Look, I know this blows, but really I think we need to examine the evidence before jumping to conclusions." The redhead finally spoke and Brooke whipped her head around.

"Are you seriously going to take his side?" Brooke hissed, remnants of mascara streaks on her face making Rachel almost regret her suggestion. Almost.

"Brooke, this is the _Inquirer_ for fuck's sake. How many times have they printed stuff about you that was so completely false?" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yeah, but there were never pictures of me kissing another guy, not to mention someone from my past, when I'm presumably in a relationship or are attempting to be with someone I claim to care about." Brooke shot back, putting up her defenses, while babbling somewhat incoherently.

"Brooke, you know I'm not a huge fan of Lucas right now, especially after everything he put you through in high school, but really you need to make sure you have the story straight, before you develop an eating disorder okay?"

Brooke hadn't expected Rachel to be so harsh, but some of the things she was saying seemed to quell her earlier insecurities. What if she was right? What if their embrace was friendly, what if they had just run into each other after a few years and decided to catch up in a platonic manner?

Oh, hell who was she kidding, Lucas could never, ever be in a platonic relationship with any of the women from his past.

"Look, maybe if he hadn't given me a reason to doubt him before, I wouldn't be so completely sure that he came back to NY, realized he didn't need some sappy ex girlfriend telling him to wait three months and saw an opportunity." Brooke exclaimed, but her resolve was weakening and Rachel knew that.

"Yeah, or maybe you're looking for reasons to fuck this up again. Two things Brooke." Rachel said as she opened her bag, "First, you're not just some sappy ex Lucas is trying to play, and second of all, don't believe everything you read, people happen to surprise you sometimes." The redhead stood up and shoved something into Brooke's hand.

"What's this?" Brooke asked, studying the postcard in her hand.

"Flip it over and see, it came in the mail today. I'll see you at home okay?" Rachel patted her back and brushed passed her.

Brooke was too entranced by the writing on the other side of the postcard purchased in New Orleans, to notice Rachel walking away.

Yeah, people sure knew how to surprise you. Brooke thought as she skimmed over the familiar cursive.

_"Not even the best bourbon in the French Square could make me forget about you, I'll be waiting for you."_

It was unsigned, but Brooke knew whom it was from. It almost brought a smile to her face, but that deep-rooted insecurity that she wasn't good enough reared its ugly head once more and neither Rachel nor Lucas's words could quell the anxiety rising inside her.

"That last part is bullshit." Brooke murmured as she impulsively tore the card in two and proceeded to run in the opposite direction of her house.

TTTTTTT

It was well into the morning when Brooke finally decided to return home. Beads of sweat were lining her forehead and chest as she tried to catch her breath while she ascended the stairs to her porch.

During her two hour run, it didn't even occur to her that she'd missed all the important meetings she had that morning and a very crucial telephone conference with her couture house in Milan. Work all of the sudden seemed so meaningless, fruitless in making her feel better, and worst of all she knew she had let several people down by being so incredibly selfish and running away from her problems, literally.

She was so deep in thought as she made her way through the front door, she didn't even realize someone might be home until the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee assaulted her as she stepped into the kitchen.

Her mind went into a state of minor panic as she realized that it couldn't be Rachel who was in the kitchen, because as much as she loved her best friend, the woman couldn't cook if her life depended on it.

So who was it?

It wasn't until she noticed the familiar sneakers, that she helped pick out, sitting neatly against the wall that she realized who it was that was cooking in her kitchen.

"Are you going to stand there forever or are you going to come here and help me devour this plate of eggs?" Alex's voice gave her a sudden jolt of reality as she snapped out of her reprieve and turned around to face him.

He looked right at home in a black t-shirt and old jeans. Despite her emotional distress, she suppressed a chuckle when she thought of what his business associates would say when they saw him in such homey attire with an apron around his waist no less.

"You're too much for words." Brooke complimented lightly and wiped the drying sweat of her forehead.

"Yeah, many women have said that about my multitude of talents, now go take a shower you stink."

Brooke rolled her eyes but complied, walking down the hall to her bedroom.

"By the way Brooke," Alex called from the kitchen, "Rachel met with the design team this morning and I told the manager in Milan to call tomorrow at 8am, sorry so early but he was only able to squeeze you in then, I hope that's okay."

Unknowingly, Brooke found herself breathing a sigh of relief. In the seven years she had run Clothes over Bros, no one but Victoria had ever taken so much control over Brooke's daily activities, and even then it wasn't like she was doing it out of good intention, instead it was more to prove to Brooke that she couldn't do it alone.

However, with Alex and Rachel, Brooke felt like finally someone besides Millicent had her back and it felt so good after the morning she had.

Brooke returned to the kitchen twenty minutes later with a ravenous hunger that she didn't even realize herself.

Alex was ready with place settings and cups of steaming coffee for the two of them.

"Originally, I was going to eat all of this by myself, while I waited for you to come home, but then since you came, I'm feeling generous so here." The blonde said cheekily as he scooped some eggs onto her plate.

At first Brooke didn't reply with anything but a mock scoff, but then after satiating her initial hunger she couldn't help but ask,

"Why did you?"

"Why did I what?" Alex asked, mouth full of eggs.

"Why did you wait for me to get home?" Brooke murmured, shyly chasing a piece of bacon around with her fork.

"Because, you ran out of here like your hair was on fire and Rachel had to leave to the warehouse, so I figured you wouldn't want to come back to an empty house." He explained, thinking nothing of it, but to Brooke it meant everything.

For the first time in a while, she felt grateful for the man sitting across from her, especially for his friendship.

"Thank you Alex, you're very sweet for staying, but I would have been alright." Brooke lied and Alex furrowed his eyebrows at her, obviously not believing her either.

"Brooke, I might not know you too well, but I can tell when someone is upset, so don't pretend with me okay?"

His voice was quiet, gentle, and it took everything in Brooke's power not to burst into tears right then and there. She wondered why all it took for her to tear up was a soft word and understanding. Why did she have to be so freaking weak?

Her fork fell out of her hand with a loud clink and she quickly covered her face, attempting to be graceful in her distraught state.

"Brooke." Alex said softly as she buried her face in her hands, "I can't do this anymore." She sighed in response, revealing her face to be free of tears but not of pain.

Her hazel eyes were dull, devoid of all their usual brilliance and Alex couldn't not reach out and touch her, running his hand up and down her exposed arm affectionately.

It might have been only a couple weeks since they'd become friends, but seeing Brooke almost every day gave him a strange feeling of protectiveness over her and watching her break down right in front of him made him want to break whoever was doing this to her.

Yeah, that author guy.

"Brooke, I don't want to be pushy, but do you want to tell me what happened this morning?" He asked soothingly, hoping his experience with comforting his real sisters, all four of them, would come in handy at the moment.

"I don't want to bore you." Brooke laughed humorlessly, "It's really a long story, a bit cliché actually, considering I'm tearing up over a guy I should have gotten over in high school."

A moment of silence passed between them until Alex gathered enough courage to ask about the name on his mind.

"Brooke, who's Lucas?"

Her reaction prompted him to wish that he never mentioned the man's name, but he had and now Brooke's bottom lip was quivering gently and her hands were gripping the counter with white knuckles.

However, just as quickly as her demeanor seemed to crack, she regained posture and grabbed for her coffee cup, hoping the distraction of drinking the hot liquid would take her mind off the hurt and confusion she was feeling and maybe ponder on how to answer Alex's question.

After a moment, she realized the only way she could truly tell Alex about who Lucas Scott was and what he meant to her was sitting on top of her empty suitcase in the bedroom.

Without a word, she disappeared into her room and reemerged with an eight year old, autographed copy of An Unkindness of Ravens and slid it across the breakfast bar.

Alex peered over the cover and smirked, "Typical." He murmured.

He didn't want to admit that while Brooke was gone, he'd googled Lucas Scott and even read excerpts from the novel. He also found out that Brooke and Lucas went to high school together, had dated at some point, and had even rekindled a friendship when Brooke returned home to open a Clothes over Bros store.

However, he'd gotten this off some obscure gossip website and couldn't really trust what was said, considering Brooke was a famous fashion designer and Lucas was a best selling author. It seemed like the celebrity world wanted them to be linked.

Little did he know how true that website was about its information.

"What?" Brooke asked, referring to his earlier comment.

"Oh nothing, I just find American novels to be mediocre at best." Alex explained, hoping his honesty wouldn't land him a black eye.

"How so?" Brooke asked, resting her elbows on the counter as she continued drinking her coffee.

"Well, I think a lot of them drag things out to the point that it becomes nauseating to read. Especially, if you're reading a personal memoir, which I assume this is. You don't need to track your every step or every move to explain to your reader how you feel." Alex paused and found Brooke avidly following his explanation.

"European novels might be longer and seem more dragged out, but the truth is, they get to the point and build a story around it, instead of spending pages upon pages searching for a point in the story itself."

Brooke remained silent, not sure how to handle Alex's prejudgment of Lucas's book.

"Alex, hasn't anyone ever told you not to judge a book by its cover?" She grinned back, smiling for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Alex welcomed her reaction and even chuckled to himself before flipping to a random page; however, one that seemed the most creased.

"I'm not I promise. I'd love to read this and I probably will enjoy it when I do, but I don't like reading books that beat around the bush. More often then not…"Alex began to speak, but he was distracted by the page in front of him,

"More often than not what?" Brooke asked, eager to find out what Alex was trying to say.

"More often than not, all it takes is one line or one sentence to get the point across and usually it's so subtle that the author misses it himself." Alex explained with a wide smile.

"What are you talking about?" Brooke cocked an eyebrow; "I wanted you to read this book so you can get to know Lucas as honestly as possible. He portrays himself and the people around him in the book as beautifully as he does truthfully. It's a great read." Brooke said defensively.

Lucas was an amazing writer and although she enjoyed Alex's company, he had no right to criticize Lucas's talent: that was unspoken rule in Brooke Davis's book.

"I'm sure it is a great read and the epic love story between him and that blond girl in the photograph in the living room is lovely, but sometimes all you need is a sentence about someone to realize how the author truly feels, even when he doesn't know it."

In that moment, looking into Brooke's confused eyes, Alex smiled warmly, turned the book around, and slid it across the counter to her, pointing out a specific passage.

"Why don't you reacquaint yourself with Lucas Scott while I make a few phone calls okay?" He asked cautiously and Brooke nodded wordlessly.

She was almost afraid of looking down, because she knew what she would see.

The page Alex landed on was a well worn and well read one by her. One that kept her going after years of unhappiness amidst all the success and money the world offered her.

It got her through a failed adoption, a fired mother, a heroine addicted best friend, and a world of emptiness gilded by expensive gowns and extravagant parties.

Looking down on the page, Brooke shut her eyes for a moment, preventing tears from cascading down her cheeks like they had for the passed three hours. She refused to look down, because that would been accepting that she overreacted, that the kiss in the tabloids meant nothing, and that she broke contact with her former blond best friend over nothing.

However, wishing for something to disappear wasn't Brooke's style, so she gathered the last of her nerves and looked down.

Even as she read the passage, she couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face as she recalled the night she first read it.

Then, the passage brought a sense of comfort to her as she stepped into the real world. That night, after graduating high school, the passage was a peace offering from her former boyfriend, who had desperately wanted them to be friends.

Now, as Alex tried to explain, the passage meant so much more and Brooke had to read it one more time to assure herself that the same comfort would be evoked with the words she read over almost every night for the last seven years.

_"Brooke Davis is going to change the world some day and I'm not sure she even knows it."_

And suddenly Brooke realized Alex was right. She didn't need Lucas to write an entire novel about her, professing his undying love for her in such a blunt way; she didn't need the entire world knowing about the intimacy between them.

She didn't need it. She just needed him. As the realization hit her, so did the dreaded feeling of regret as she realized what she'd done that morning. So without a second thought or even a pair of shoes, Brooke Davis ran out into the street in pink socks and yellow sweats to the bus stop, hoping the post card she so angrily ripped in two and left on the sidewalk, hadn't been blown away by the wind…

TTTTTT


	15. Chapter 15: Transitions of the Hopeless

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi guys! Don't hate me for taking so long to update, but I was in a bit of an inspiration rut. However, I've since bounced back and have to tell you that I love this chapter. It might be filler, but it is one of the most realistic I've written. It shows how Lucas and Brooke are dealing with their time away from each other, and it finally includes a bit of other characters as well. As for some of you guys asking when Brucas will reunite, the only thing I gotta say is, distance makes the heart grow fonder! However, you will not be disappointed with their reunion, I promise!

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Chapter 15: Transitions of the Hopeless

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"So which is it today?" Haley asked between sips of tea as Lucas and she stood next to a mailbox.

"Today it's Nevada." Lucas said, slipping the postcard into the blue slot before picking up the bags surrounding his feet and continuing walking.

"You really went to Vegas on your cross country trek?" Haley asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes I did." Lucas replied, his memory of Sin City present if a bit vague.

"Whoa."

"Whoa what?" Lucas asked defensively and Haley let out a small chuckle, "Sorry, I just never pegged you as the Las Vegas type."

"There's a type?" Lucas smirked, tightening his hold on the plastic bags in his hands.

"Sure, like the adventurous type." Haley explained and Lucas cut her off, "Hey! I'm adventurous."

"Right." Haley murmured, rolling her eyes when she noticed her best friend's playful shock.

"I totally resent you saying that by the way." Lucas replied and Haley nudged him affectionately with her free hand.

"So should I ask what you wrote this time, because your cheese ball levels have been dangerously rising."

Lucas knew Haley was only teasing him, but he happened to take his post cards very seriously, considering it was his only way of getting through to Brooke for the next month and a half.

He didn't respond to Haley's question as he realized how long it had actually been since he saw his favorite brunette. Six weeks, fifty-six days, so many hours.

It also shocked Lucas that he hadn't until this moment stopped and actually thought about how quickly time was going by without Brooke by his side.

It should have scared him into thinking he didn't care, but if anything he only blamed it on the amount of work he'd been engrossing himself in lately.

Come to think of it, today, on the eve of Jamie's late birthday party, was the first time he'd seen Haley in about two weeks. Even though she and Nathan would be in New York for a few more weeks, each busy with their respective careers, Nate with his basketball and Haley with her music, they all barely spent any time together.

Lucas didn't realize the amount of exposure Emily's book release party would give to Raven Publications. It was insane and as soon as they opened the company and started working on the debut release of their second author, a friend of Jack's from high school, the sheer amount of manuscripts sent to the company daily was enough to overwhelm Lucas and keep him busy for the next couple months, if not years.

He realized that Jack and he were not anticipating the amount of success the move to New York would bring to the publishing venture, but he supposed now that the city was looking for something new every week, and Raven Publications was the hot new "in" for aspiring authors, considering how well Emily's novella was doing on the market.

However, Lucas was also very fearful of their publishing house going under just as soon as something newer and fresher came along, so determined to sign and support as many new and good authors as possible, to keep publications afloat, Lucas committed himself to reading at least a couple manuscripts a week and giving honest responses to their senders.

That's why he'd barely been able to see Haley, Nathan, or Jamie since they arrived in New York a month ago. But with Jamie's party this afternoon, Lucas hoped they could spend some time together and he could reacquaint himself with family.

"Earth to Lucas."

His head snapped up and the blond realized he'd just walked an entire block with Haley without answering her.

"Oh, sorry Hales. I heard you, I just keep thinking about the amount of work that's awaiting me at the office tomorrow."

He decided being truthful would be the best approach to his best friend. He immediately saw Haley frown and regretted it. He didn't need her to mother him, which she would inevitably do if she knew how many long hours he's been putting in for the passed four weeks.

"Lucas, you shouldn't stretch yourself out too thinly; it might be in your best interest to take it easy with all the stuff that's being sent to you. It could potentially give you a better perspective on the material if you read slower."

Lucas knew Haley was right, but his work was incredibly important to him and he wasn't sure if taking it easy would be good for the publishing house.

"I know Hales, but New York is such a precarious place to be, especially for a literary publication. Everyone here is looking for the next best thing, so I have to come up with a better product than my competition, which unfortunately means longer hours. I'm only one man you know and I promised Jack I'd handle the creative part of it, if he handles the business and marketing side."

Lucas knew Jack was a savvy businessman at heart, who knew how to make smart financial decisions and create a wonderful package for the product Raven Publications put worth; however, Lucas still needed to make sure that what was within the pages was worth the decorative hard cover and unfortunately that required some hard work.

"I get what you're saying, and I'm extremely proud that you are so committed to your job, but you're right, you are only one man, so maybe you need to ask for some help." Haley suggested carefully, hoping Lucas wouldn't get offended at her intimation.

"Right. Like who? I don't think any other editor in the city who would ever offer to help the competition." Lucas declared, in slight disbelief that Haley would even bring up such a naïve point.

"Well, that might be true, but not very many editors have history with other very well established editors in the city don't ya think?"

"Hales. What are you trying to get at?"

He was mentally scratching his head while Haley let out an exasperated sigh and mumbled something about men being clueless.

"Look, for some reason I have this horrible feeling that you're losing yourself in work, so you can forget about what's going on in your personal life-…"

"Hales, everything is fine in my personal life. Brooke just-…"

"Yeah, yeah, she needs time. I know that and I love you for giving it to her, but I also know you and I know how much this is killing you inside, because as much as you're giving her time, you don't exactly understand why she needs time away from you. so I'm just thinking that I don't want you to substitute work for what's temporarily missing from your life."

Lucas didn't realize that they stopped as Haley spoke, but there they were in the middle of a busy New York street and his best friend was spelling out his insecurities for him as if they'd been printed on his face from day one.

He couldn't deny that Haley was right about him not exactly understanding why Brooke wanted so badly to cut off contact with him for so long. And as much as it might've been a necessity as this point, to some extent Lucas found himself using work as an excuse not to go home to an empty apartment or make plans to hang out with Jack after work, simply because he knew Sara and he would be all cutesy and he'd think of Brooke.

Normally, Lucas wouldn't confirm Haley's suspicions so quickly, but there was something about letting himself find comfort in his best friend after all these years that the blond had no choice but to agree with her.

Letting out an equally exhausting breath, Lucas dropped the bags at his sides and put his hands on Haley's shoulders.

"I love you for caring." He said softly, so quietly in fact that the petite musician had to strain herself to hear him, "And you're probably right about me needing extra help sifting through material, but honestly, who would help me? It's just a cut throat business nowadays that I wouldn't even know who I could trust."

Haley smiled eagerly as soon as Lucas spoke and squeezed his hand lightly, "Well, how about you take a chance on someone who took a chance on you with your first book?"

Lucas immediately knew whom Haley was talking about, but in the back of his head he had to wonder if it was such a good idea. Lindsay and he hadn't really kept in touch since he last saw her a month ago and he did have a history with her.

"I haven't told her anything about the overwhelming amount of work you've been doing this month, so there's no pressure to ask Lindsay to help, but she did mention to me that she just hired a new editor at Putnam & Pratt so she has a lot of free time on her hands."

"I guess." Lucas's words trailed off into the busy street and Haley sighed, "Look, if you're worried that Brooke would be uncomfortable with this, I don't think you have anything to be concerned about. Lindsay's practically engaged to her boyfriend and I'm pretty sure all you and her have in common anymore is just your love of literature. There's no pressure Luke, but you can always ask for help if you need it."

Lucas wasn't altogether convinced that the possibility of working with his ex fiancé was a good idea in any sense, professional or personal, but he was certain in one thing and that was Haley's intuition. He loved and respected his best friend for her logical advice and good ear, both of which he had missed in his life since he left Tree Hill, so rather reluctantly he picked up the bags again and nodded,

"I'll think about it."

"Good." Haley smiled, "If you make up your mind before the party, she'll be there for you two to talk."

"Lindsay's coming?" Lucas asked, uncertainty once again coloring his words.

"Yes, with her boyfriend Ethan." Haley emphasized the word boyfriend to make sure that Lucas knew she had no ulterior motive in inviting his ex fiancé, "I've been keeping in touch with Lindsay for the passed couple years and I wanted to meet her future husband."

"I had no idea you kept in touch with her." Lucas was genuinely surprised, Haley and he had barely kept in touch, but she emailed with Lindsay?

"Yea I did. Some people can pick up the phone once in a while and call their friends."

Lucas knew Haley was just teasing him, but it didn't make the feeling of guilt over not keeping in touch with his family any less. He thought about the time he'd spent away from home, trying to heal his conflicted heart after all three of the women in his life left unexpectedly and he knew he'd lost sight of the important things in life, especially his family.

"Hales, I promise it's going to be different from now on. I'm not going anywhere." Lucas pledged and watched Haley lower her head and nod slowly as they ascended the steps to his front door.

"No, look at me." Lucas placed the bags down yet again and lifted his friend's chin to him, "I'm sorry I was such a dead beat best friend, brother, and uncle these passed few years, but I am so glad I finally got to spend more time with you guys and you have no idea how proud I am of you for building this amazing life for yourself. You and Nathan inspire me to be better and I promise I'll be here from now on, even if we live in different states."

Haley smiled at Lucas's genuine admission, "Well, that might not be the case from now on."

She'd been putting off telling Lucas the reason for her and Nathan spending so much time in New York, but now seemed the right time to do it.

"What wont?" Lucas asked confusedly.

"The different states thing." Haley said, twisting her ring finger. There was no reason why Lucas would be unhappy for her and Nathan, but she was still nervous about saying it out loud, because it would actually make it a reality.

"What do you mean Hales?" Lucas asked slowly, although a smile was already forming on his face.

"Well, we've been spending a lot of time here, because Nathan and his managers are negotiating with the New York Knicks for the possibility of him joining the team."

"Oh my god, are you serious? How long have you known? Have you guys been keeping this to yourselves for a month?" Lucas was ecstatic but also miffed that Nate had kept such life changing news from him.

Lucas didn't realize it then, but now looking back on how much free time Nathan had since they came to New York, Lucas should have known that the Charlotte Bobcat wasn't practicing, instead he'd been negotiating with the Knicks.

God, this was incredible.

"Yeah, we have. Jamie doesn't even know, and we didn't want to get his hopes up until everything was certain, but Nathan got a call to come in today and talk about his salary, which pretty much means he's in."

"Wow, I am so happy for you guys. Nathan must be jumping off the walls." Lucas smiled as he pulled Haley into an overdue hug.

"Yeah, he is. It's been killing him not being able to tell you and Jamie though, but we planned on doing it tonight. Hence why we postponed Jamie's actual birthday party until now." Haley explained, gesturing towards the heavy bags her and Lucas had carried from the decoration store.

"Oh, now it makes sense. Well I am so proud of Nathan. He finally made it. You finally made it." Lucas smiled affectionately, tucking a strand of hair behind Haley's ear.

"Yeah." Haley nodded modestly, "It's going to be a big change, but I think it's worth it if Nathan finally gets to carry out his dream."

"You get to carry out your dreams too." Lucas smiled and Haley nodded again, though this time her smile was demure, "I know, but in some ways, I worry, because with the new baby on the way and Nathan's rigorous work schedule, not to mention Jamie's adjustment, I think my music should take a back seat for a while you know, until things settle."

Lucas was shaking his head halfway through Haley's speech, "No, Hales. I forbid you from thinking that. If you stop recording now, stop trying to cut a demo and get a record deal, you won't do it ever again. You'll keep putting it off and your desire is going to fade. I don't want that for you. Most importantly Nathan doesn't want that for you and you don't want that for you, so don't make excuses. You're only a few months along, so you have time to finish up your demo. Jamie's going to adjust greatly to New York and I promise I'll be here for both you and Nathan if you guys need help along the way. I think I need to start making up for lost time." Lucas said convincingly and could see Haley's nerves calm down.

Thinking about what Haley had revealed to him in just a few short minutes, Lucas couldn't help but think that it would probably be a good idea to get an extra hand around work so he could actually fulfill his promise and spend more time helping Haley and Nate transition.

All of the sudden working with Lindsay had its definite advantages.

"Thank you Luke." Haley whispered as she pulled him into a hug, "Thank you for being so supportive."

"Anytime Hales." Lucas assured and he meant it.

If he was ever going to be the man Brooke deserved, he needed to orient his priorities properly and start thinking outside of himself and his needs, which at the moment included his brother's family.

"Now I hate to break this moment, but I have this huge craving for Cheetos and sour cream." Haley said suddenly and Lucas had to remind himself that he was in the presence of a pregnant Haley.

Fond and awful memories invaded his mind as he fished around for his keys in his jean pocket. Pregnant Haley was always glowing and warm, but she was also incredibly hormonal and always hungry.

"Let's see what we can do." Lucas smiled, knowing full well he had his best friend's favorite foods somewhere in the house.

Watching Haley make her way inside and dump the decorations unceremoniously onto the middle of the living room as she raced into the kitchen to raid his refrigerator, Lucas couldn't help but think of another brunette, who seemed so far away from him but never too far from his thoughts.

It seemed that lately he was so preoccupied with other things, daily life hassles, work, his nephew, that it would appear he'd lost sight of his pretty girl, but it couldn't be too far from the truth.

Each morning he woke up thinking of nothing but her and each night he went to bed wondering what she was doing at the moment. Perhaps that why he never wanted to come home from the office, simply, because the stillness and darkness of the apartment sat heavy on his heart, reminding him of Brooke's absence.

Perhaps that's why he'd barely furnished the flat since he'd moved in. it seemed like he was waiting for a splash of color to return to his life. He was waiting for someone to remind him what life was all about and seeing Haley and Nathan so happy with a growing family, left him with no doubt that he wanted this life for himself, but only if Brooke Davis was willing to be a part of it.

TTTTTTT

Brooke Davis couldn't remember being so nervous ever before. She knew she was annoying Rachel with her heel constantly tapping against the carpeted surface and her manicured nails making drumming noises against the armrest, but she didn't care.

Rachel could give her disapproving glances and eye rolls for the next hour, but Brooke still wouldn't stop her nervous habits. Rachel should understand. It wasn't every day that Brooke made the trek down to Los Angeles to make peace with her former best friend, someone who she hadn't spoken to for close to four years now, but who apparently finally made a name for herself in the music business.

Before departing, Brooke made a conscious effort to google Peyton Sawyer online and found that surprisingly for Victoria, but unsurprisingly to everyone else, the blonde had achieved quite a bit of success in the Indie music scene over the last half decade.

Red Bedroom Records was no longer just a one woman run operation in the offices behind Tric nightclub in lowly Tree Hill, North Carolina. Instead it was a big corporation, run by three partners, had about fifteen bands permanently signed to it, and many still on the way.

Inwardly, Brooke was nothing if not proud of her best friend for all her achievements, just as Peyton was probably proud of her, but deep inside that feeling of pride was masked by a bigger weight of guilt that rested so heavily on Brooke's shoulders, she thought she might hyperventilate at any second.

Now sitting on a plane headed towards LA, Brooke was internally panicking, cursing her stupid hope that this trip would bring some kind of closure. Who was she kidding? Peyton and she hadn't spoken in so long, she doubted the fierce blond she knew in high school, would even give her the time of day when she showed up.

Although Lucas didn't give Brooke any implication that he ever told Peyton what happened between them, knowing how perceptive Peyton was and the intense feelings she had for Lucas herself, Brooke had no doubt that Peyton probably suspected that Brooke's sudden departure had to have been due to something Lucas had done.

Or maybe Brooke was just looking for reasons not to have this trip happen. Rachel had assured her before they left that all Brooke had to do was say the word and the pair would turn right back around and return back to San Francisco. No harm, no foul. However, Brooke knew whatever harm she caused to Lucas's and Peyton's relationship had already been done, and if she didn't go see Peyton and try to make amends, or at least clear her conscience, her own relationship with the broody author would be doomed even before it began.

Brooke knew it was selfish of her to expect anything but a door slammed in her face when she arrived in LA, but she had to try, she had to know that Peyton didn't hate her, that at least she moved on from Lucas, that she made a life for herself outside of her music.

Brooke needed to know that Peyton was happy. Even after all these years, that's all she ever wanted for her first true friend and no matter where she was in life or who she was with, those protective feelings for her broody blond friend would never change.

In some ways, when Peyton and Lucas were together in high school and college, it was easier for Brooke to focus on other things in her life, like her career, because she knew the boy she loved was protecting the girl she loved; however, at that time Brooke hadn't known yet just how true those words would become.

Even when Lucas came to New York after Peyton and he broke up, Brooke still didn't realize that her old feelings for Lucas had never really gone away, they were just merely quelled to make room for other feelings, for other priorities in her life.

It wasn't until she returned to Tree Hill, ironically at the request of Peyton, who had obviously come back for Lucas, that Brooke realized just how intensely she felt for the boy in her best friend's life. After she saw how conflicted he was over the women in his life, Brooke made the stupid decision to seek solace in him, thinking that maybe their friendship could give him the clarity he'd written in his novels about.

However, she forgot that his moment of clarity always came when a certain leggy blond was in his life. Perhaps that motivation was what subconsciously drove Brooke away from Tree Hill when she witnessed Lucas and Peyton kissing again.

Now, she realized that she should have never run away, she should've stayed, but it seemed like this was a broken record turning over and over in her head. She knew she was dwelling on her past mistakes way too much lately, perhaps as a cover for facing her current issues head on, and that wasn't fair to Lucas. She had asked him to give her time so she could work on those issues, not ruminate on what could have been.

She knew that if he was here, he'd pull her into his arms, tuck her hair behind her ear and tell her not fear anything, because she didn't give herself enough credit for being the brilliant and strong self that he knew she was.

Smiling in spite of herself, Brooke reached into her bag and fingered the latest addition to her postcard collection, this one had a beautiful still frame of the Las Vegas strip on the front but she turned it over, fingering the lettering on the bottom.

She had once accused Lucas of being overly cheesy, especially when it came to the small things he did for his girlfriends, be it Peyton, Lindsay, or herself, but now in the moment where she needed his strength and reassurance to get through the next day or two, Brooke couldn't have been more ecstatic that Lucas Scott never lost his hopelessly romantic side.

He hadn't signed a single postcard so far, but his words were enough to quell at least a bit of her nervousness.

The postcard read:_ "I'd gamble anything for another night with you…"_

Brooke found comfort in his words, but she couldn't help thinking that her meeting with Peyton would bring up old insecurities that could place a wager on her relationship with Lucas.

And though Brooke had many talents, gambling was not one of them.

TTTTTTT

"You must think I'm an idiot for doing this." Brooke mumbled, while refusing to meet Rachel's gaze, opting instead to stare out the window at the passing LA scenery.

They were sitting in the back of a rental car, on their way to Peyton's house, an address Brooke weaseled out from one of the interns at Red Bedroom Records, claiming she was Peyton's old high school friend. Peyton was probably not listed for security reasons, but Brooke was lucky she kept an old photograph of Peyton and her in her wallet, because otherwise the intern would have never believed her.

"Brooke, it's a little too late for what I think. We're like twenty minutes away from her house." Rachel said somewhat sarcastically, but when Brooke looked at her, she could see worry etched on the redhead's face.

"You don't have to go with me." Brooke said with unbridled anxiety, finding herself tapping against the window.

"Brooke." Rachel exclaimed all of the sudden, grabbing her friend's wrist unexpectedly. The former model realized how she must've scared Brooke, so she softened and quickly said, "No matter what my feelings on this are, I'm going to support you like you supported me, so never think that I'm not going to be there for you."

Brooke bowed her head down, almost embarrassed that she doubted Rachel's loyalties, and she squeezed her friend's hand.

"Thanks Rach."

"No problem." The redhead grinned in return, "Plus if seeing Peyton again and by that I mean realizing for yourself that blondie's moved on will make you stop being so insecure and stop drumming your goddamn nails against every possible surface, then I am definitely going to come with you."

Brooke looked at Rachel sideways, realizing where the former model stood with her ex best friend.

"You think she's moved on?" the brunette asked insecurely.

"I don't know." Rachel admitted and felt Brooke's shoulders slump slightly, "But she'd be stupid if she hadn't." Rachel added and Brooke cast her hopeful hazel eyes on her friend again, "I know Peyton may have a lot of unpleasant qualities about her, but one thing I've always admired about her is her intelligence and I believe she would be the biggest idiot in the world if she still held some hope for her and Lucas. I don't think you have anything to worry about on that front."

Brooke let out a small laugh. In a roundabout way, Rachel calmed her and made her worry even more. She might not have had to worry about Peyton still having feelings for Lucas, but there were a lot of other issues the blond might have to sort out with her, like the fact that Brooke didn't return any of Peyton's calls or emails for the first eight months that she moved back to New York.

Thinking back on it now, Brooke knew she was being selfish by cutting Peyton unfairly out of her life, but her wounds were still fresh and she wanted nothing to do with Tree Hill or anything that reminded her of Lucas's betrayal until she could finally breathe again.

"I really hope she can forgive me." Brooke thought out loud and Rachel frowned.

Her best friend could be so insecure sometimes and for the life of her, Rachel couldn't understand why. Sighing, as she stared out the window, Rachel chose to pretend she didn't hear Brooke's whisper, because her acknowledgement of it, would just start an unnecessary fight, which Rachel thought would be the last thing Brooke needed before seeing Peyton Sawyer again.

Speaking of her, Rachel looked down at the crumbled piece of paper in Brooke's lap, the one with the address on it, and felt the car slowly come to a halt.

"I guess this is it." Rachel said softly, staring out the window. Brooke looked up then, breath hitching in her throat as she saw where the car pulled up.

Of all the places Brooke thought, Peyton would call home, this sleepy block with its identical white houses, with the freshly trimmed front lawn, and white mail boxes was definitely not it.

Swallowing hard, Brooke stepped out of the car and told the driver to come back in a few hours, expecting Rachel to be standing behind her, Brooke opened her mouth to comment on the oddity of the Sawyer residence, when all she found was herself standing outside the car alone.

"Rachel?" Brooke asked uncertainly, tapping her nail against the car door.

Rachel rolled down the window then, looking as guilty as a kid with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner, "I know I said I'd be there for you and I will be, but I'm not going into that house with you."

"Rach I-…" "No, Brooke you can do this. This is P. Sawyer we're talking about here, she was your best friend."

"I have a new best friend now." Brooke said, though her voice was a little laden with disappointment, mostly because in the back of her mind she kind of expected Rachel to guide her through this.

"I know you do and as much as I love you for letting me be a part of your life, you have to admit that I'll never replace Peyton, absent or not. So Lenny and I will be around the corner, far enough that you find strength to do this alone but close enough to hear hair being pulled and slaps being administered."

Brooke couldn't help but laugh and for a second she felt like she could do this. Rachel was right. This was P. Sawyer, her bestest friend, her cheer buddy, her brooding counterpart.

But Brooke's confidence quickly faded away as the car pulled away and nothing except her insecurities and fear stood between her and the white house.

"Oh god, I knew this was a bad idea." Brooke thought to herself as she reluctantly ascended the stairs to the front door.

Closing her eyes and willing the feeling of dread to go away, Brooke took a deep breath and rang the doorbell...

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	16. Chapter 16: What Could Be

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi guys! So I haven't updated in a while, or at least what I think is a while, so I decided to get this chapter out. I know I'm moving at a snail's pace here, but I think we need to set this up as realistically as possible, considering I don't want to just fast forward to their reunion, and trust me when I say there will be a reunion hehe. Anyway, thank you for reading yet again, your reviews are a godsend, they keep me going. This chapter isn't filler even though it seems like it, and you'll see why. Also I hope you don't hate me for how certain friendships are turning out in this one. Enjoy!

Song: "It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down

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Chapter 16: What Could Be

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_Looking back at the beginning of this  
And how life was_

Of all the people Brooke expected to be behind the front door of Peyton's house, a small, tan skinned girl with very light brown hair and curious brown eyes was not one of them. She hadn't opened the door completely, but just enough that Brooke could tell she was wearing a Clothes over Bros Kids' original dark, blue sailor dress and Brooke couldn't help but think that the girl looked amazingly cute in it.

Snapping out of her reverie, Brooke nervously knelt down to the girl's level and asked in the sweetest tone possible, as not to scare her, "Hi, is your mommy home?"

Brooke wasn't sure what to ask really, but it seemed to be the most natural question that popped into her head. So many thoughts were running through her head, like when Peyton had time to have a child, who was the father, and why she hadn't told anyone.

That last thought immediately made Brooke realize just how severely she had cut the blonde out of her life. It also made her that much more terrified to see the blond record executive now.

So when the little girl, in the adorable sailor dress, opened the door a bit wider and replied, Brooke let out a sigh of relief.

"Mommy isn't home right now. Daddy and her are out of town."

Brooke nodded unsurely, staring past the girl into the foyer. From what she could see, artwork covered the walls and there was soft music playing in the background. Yup, this was definitely Peyton Sawyer's house and if the girl said mommy wasn't home, then she definitely wasn't.

Brooke gave the little girl one final smile, before thanking her and turning around to leave. She couldn't say she was disappointed; she was more relieved than anything that by some stroke of luck her attempt to reconcile with Peyton was deterred by her absence.

Now, not even Rachel could scold her for leaving, she had done everything in her power to make this meeting possible, and even if the trip to LA now seemed obsolete, she could at least convince her redhead counterpart to do some shopping on Rodeo, that would probably cheer her up.

In her slow walk down the front lawn, Brooke didn't even realize that the door behind her didn't close, instead a tall, blond woman, with paint smearing her clothes and her long, curly hair pulled back clumsily ran to the slightly ajar door.

_Just you and me and love and all of our friends  
Living life like an ocean_

"Maddie, what did I tell you about opening the front door alone. You're father would kill me if something happened to you."

The little girl shrugged and pushed the door back, "The lady left anyways. She was looking for mommy." Maddie explained and Peyton cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Really?" what Maddie was saying seemed hard to believe, considering no one knew about this arrangement outside close family.

"Yeah, she's still standing there though." Maddie added, motioning towards the front of the house.

Peyton squinted her eyes against the shine of the mid morning sun and had to blink back in disbelief.

"It couldn't be." She murmured to herself, but it didn't go unnoticed by the doe eyed girl standing besides her.

"What can't?" Maddie asked, scratching her head confusedly.

"N-nothing." Peyton replied, her feet still rooted to the ground, although she had already pictured herself running towards the brunette standing a walk away from her, "How does she even know where to find me." The blond continued to mumble to herself, until Maddie exhaled heavily besides her.

"Do you know her or something?" she asked, obviously very bored standing in one place for too long.

Just then, Brooke turned her head to the side, wondering if she could spot their rental car from here, and something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. All it took was one glance of curly, blond hair and Brooke knew that it was her oldest friend standing in the doorway with her mouth slightly ajar.

For a second, Brooke wondered why Peyton hadn't made an attempt to call her name, but thinking about it, the designer realized that if she herself was speechless upon the possibility of seeing her old best friend, then Peyton seeing her unexpectedly after five years of not talking would probably give Brooke a heart attack if she was in Peyton's shoes.

Turning around slowly, her body moving on its own accord, Brooke finally made eye contact with Peyton and she swore she could see the air being knocked out of her when their eyes locked.

_Now the currents slowly pulling me down  
It's getting harder to breathe_

Slowly, but surely, without any invitation Brooke walked back to the front door, her heart pounding in her chest almost overpowering the soft sounds of her heels as they clicked against the pavement.

She kept her eyes on Peyton's the entire time, looking for any indication that the blond wouldn't throw her out of her house the second Brooke walked up to it again, but Peyton's emerald gaze remained blank, devoid of any emotion except perhaps confusion.

It wasn't until Brooke reached the door way again that she noticed a small smile spread over her friend's face and Brooke took that as incentive to introduce herself more properly to the girl standing shyly behind Peyton's leg.

"Hi, my name is Brooke, what's yours?"

Maddie grinned instantly, when she realized the lady acknowledged her presence, "My name is Madison Anna Sommers, it's very nice to meet you."

The shy demeanor disappeared, replaced by vibrant doe eyes and a curtsy like move, "Are you a friend of mommy's?" Madison added curiously and Brooke gave her a dimpled smile.

"I used to be." Brooke explained, but she was no longer looking at the little girl in front of her, but instead at the tall, blond standing besides her in paint stained jeans and classic band t-shirt.

Some things definitely never changed no matter how much time passed.

"Maddie." Peyton knelt down besides the girl, "Why don't you go into your room and turn on any cartoon you like."

Maddie smiled at first, but then stood confused, "But Peyton, mommy never lets me watch more than an hour of TV a day…"

The four-year-old's voice trailed off and Peyton grinned at her genuinely, still so surprised that the little girl was so well behaved.

"Well, it'll be our little secret then okay?" She asked, tucking a stand of loose, light, brown hair behind the girl's ear and poking her tummy affectionately.

Madison's face instantly brightened and she nodded excitedly, "Okay, I can keep a secret. Nice to meet you Brooke." The girl exclaimed, before running inside the house, no doubt excited to break the rules her parents so diligently raised her by.

Peyton didn't even have time to reconsider her decision, before Brooke's voice broke through the silence, "So she's not your daughter?"

"No." Peyton replied, her voice stern, "She is my brother's. Maddie's grandfather from her mom's side passed away last week and Derek and Lynn had to fly down to Florida for the funeral. They figured Maddie is too young to go, so they left her with me for the week."

It seemed so strange that their conversation was so casual after so many years of silence and Peyton almost stopped herself in her explanation. Brooke nodded, "She's beautiful."

"Yeah she is." Peyton confirmed quietly, still leaning on the doorframe and Brooke noticed how time had passed and she still hadn't been invited inside.

"Look Peyton I-…" Brooke really didn't know how she was going to explain her showing up unexpectedly so in some ways she was relieved that Peyton interrupted her.

"How'd you find me? I'm not listed." Peyton asked, hands now securely folded over her chest.

_It won't be too long and I'll be going under  
Can you save me from this_

Brooke nodded sheepishly, "Well don't kill me but I kind of bribed one of your interns into giving me your address with an old picture of us." At this point, Brooke couldn't recall any other time that she was under such scrutiny and experiencing so much anxiety.

She literally wished for the earth to swallow her up. This wasn't going as she imagined it to. It wasn't like she expected Peyton to welcome her with open arms, but she also didn't anticipate the coldness with which her former best friend was staring at her.

Nevertheless, Brooke wasn't one to back down and she knew she needed to get a few things off her chest, even if the blonde didn't want to hear it.

"Hmm, I guess it's my fault for trusting naïve, college students with my personal information." Peyton mused, well aware of how uncomfortable this was making Brooke feel.

Nevertheless, Peyton wasn't one to back down and she needed some sort of shield to defend herself with against whatever reason Brooke had for showing up.

After five years of not speaking, she couldn't imagine that Brooke just chose to drop in for a friendly visit, all the way across the country no less.

"Look Peyton, I know I caught you off guard, but I was hoping we could talk." Brooke explained, tightening her hold on the shoulder bag she brought with her, hoping she wouldn't need to beg her way in.

Sighing heavily, Peyton rubbed the bridge of her nose in thought. She had a decision to make. She could let Brooke in and hear her out, whatever she had to say, or she could cower her away out of this and tell Brooke to leave.

Either way, Peyton reasoned, her oldest and most missed friend couldn't blame her. They hadn't spoken in so long that it wouldn't be fair of Brooke to assume that Peyton would let her back into her life.

Meanwhile, Brooke stood nervously fidgeting on the front porch. She could tell the blonde in front of her was weighing her options and Brooke couldn't really hold it against it.

After all, if the roles were reversed, Brooke didn't know what she would do.

Would she let Peyton in and catch up with her? Or would she send her away?

_Cuz it's not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
It's not showing_

It suddenly dawned on Brooke that in the case that Peyton had shown up unexpectedly on her doorstep, Brooke's first reaction would be to tell her to leave, and when she saw how much this was bothering Peyton, she realized it had been a mistake to come and put her on the spot.

She should've called, emailed, or at least sent some sort of forewarning of her arrival, but Brooke knew that she had been afraid to do so, because she felt that Peyton would ignore her requests.

She knew now that coming here was a mistake so she tightened her hold on her bag and gave Peyton a small smile, "I'm sorry for showing up. This was incredibly selfish. Go back to Madison, I'll see you around." Brooke murmured, and without a second thought practically ran down the pavement, ignoring the pressure she was administering on her favorite pair of sling backs.

It wasn't until she reached the front lawn, her cell phone already in hand, ready to call Rachel to come back, that she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait." Peyton said, suddenly two steps behind her.

Brooke turned around unsurely, wondering if she was going to be met with a slap or a punch, after all it wouldn't be the first time the two friends fought on Peyton's front lawn.

"You obviously came, because it was important, so why don't you come inside?" Peyton suggested, her voice less stern and if possible somewhat affectionate.

Brooke nodded, while biting her lip, "Are you sure?"

Peyton let out a laugh then, going as far as to squeeze Brooke's shoulder calmly,

"I'm sure." She nodded and Brooke followed her inside the house reluctantly. Hoping that by taking a chance on her, Peyton wasn't making a mistake of her own.

_This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
Oooh, I won't go_

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The best thing about Lucas's apartment in his opinion, besides the rent control, was the amazing view from the front steps of the brownstone. Not only was the street never busy, but the city planted cherry trees were constantly in full bloom and since it was a family friendly neighborhood a lot of the kids from other houses would ride their bikes and play kickball in the street. It reminded the young editor of old school New York City, the kind he dreamed about living in when he used to watch old sitcoms on TV back in Tree Hill.

Now as he sat on the lowest step of the entrance to the brownstone, with a glass of wine in hand, he couldn't help but think that there was no other place he'd rather call a home away from home than New York City. The sun was setting beautifully on the horizon and as he squinted his eyes against the dimming shine, he couldn't resist the smile that formed on his lips as his eyes landed on the Clothes over Bros billboard in the visible distance. Taking a moment to sip his wine, Lucas reflected on the time he'd spent in New York without his pretty girl.

It was almost tempting to brood, but the weather and the party upstairs still broke through his pensiveness. As much as he missed Brooke, he still felt like the pieces of his once uncertain path in life had finally all fallen together. The only thing physically missing from this gorgeous Sunday evening was Brooke and Lucas thanked his lucky stars that he once again had the brunette in his life.

He had spent many nights when he first arrived worried and scared that this separation would be the end of their blossoming romance, but as the days wore on and his postcard collection got smaller and smaller, Lucas realized that the feelings they had for one another, which hadn't faded after almost ten years, could sustain a few months of no contact, especially since it was Brooke's idea.

He hoped to God though that they weren't making a mistake in doing this, because if something went wrong, if there was a glitch in communication, or if Brooke ever changed her mind, the guilt would never escape him.

After all, as the man in the relationship it was his job to fight for the woman he loved and if letting her have some time to herself was necessary, he was okay with it; however, if that drove them apart he wouldn't have anyone to blame but himself.

_I look ahead to all the plans that we made  
And the dreams that we had_

He'd lost a chance with Brooke in high school twice by not fighting for her and letting his stupid pride and mixed emotions get in the way. But now he was a grown man, a decade older and hopefully wiser, perhaps even braver. At least brave enough to fight for her if it were necessary.

Sitting so deep in thought, Lucas didn't notice that Jack joined him until the musician began strumming on the guitar, which seemed to be permanently attached to his hip.

Humming softly to the melody, Jack didn't probe or ask any questions about Lucas's reserved behavior, having witnessed the broody blonde more than once in such a state over the last two years.

Lucas turned to him, giving him a half smile of acknowledgement and a silent thank you that he wasn't probing,

"Enjoying the party?" He asked, taking a sip of his wine.

Jack nodded, "Who knew a ten year old's birthday party could be so entertaining."

Lucas agreed and they continued to stay in silence. Originally, Jamie's birthday was supposed to be a small gathering of kids his age. Coincidentally, and luckily for the aspiring basketball star, a lot of Nathan's teammates had kids Jamie's age and Haley invited them over for the party in the afternoon.

However, she hadn't planned on their parents staying or the fact that Lucas's seemingly quiet neighbors would invite themselves as well. So by late afternoon Lucas's two bedroom-flat was crowded with people of all ages. Thankfully, he had enough sense to buy his nephew a mindless video game for his birthday so all the kids were locked up in his spare bedroom playing with it, while adults mingled in the rest of the rooms.

Knowing his dislike of large crowds, Haley spent two hours apologizing to Lucas about the party getting out of hand, but by that time Lucas was already pretty tipsy off the alcoholic refreshments and admitted that he kind of liked it. Now he wouldn't need to throw a housewarming party and got to officially meet all his neighbors, who turned out to be pretty cool.

Next door to him lived an old, retired army general who mostly kept to himself, but found that he a lot in common with Lucas, because both of them preferred early morning runs and strong coffee. His name was Edward and he reminded Lucas of his maternal grandfather, so a friendship was struck almost immediately.

Across the hall from him lived a single mother named Angela, who had a precocious eight-year-old named Jessie, who upon seeing Jamie instantly fell in love with him and made Lucas promise that he would make Jamie her boyfriend.

The rest of the meetings went by as blur, Lucas blamed it on having had too much wine, which suddenly didn't seem to be an issue when he opened the door and greeted Lindsay and her boyfriend or fiancé Ethan.

He forgot about them coming and now realized that this would be his chance to catch up with the blonde and maybe even ask her to help him out for a while at work.

After Haley brought up the idea, Lucas couldn't stop thinking about it. He kept weighing his options, trying to figure out if her much needed help outweighed the consequences of such a close working relationship with a former lover.

He couldn't deny that Lindsay was a talented and smart editor, but he also couldn't deny that he seemed to be the only one worried about the potential issue of Brooke somehow finding out that he was working with Lindsay again and getting freaked out.

Even though Haley confidently assured him that Brooke would have no problem with the arrangement, considering how much Lindsay's help would benefit him, Lucas couldn't shake the feeling that Haley kept forgetting that at one point Lucas and Lindsay had almost wed and were in a very intense relationship.

_I'm in a world that tries to take them away  
Oh, but I'm taking them back_

Lucas figured that since for a long time Peyton seemed to be the frontrunner for his affection, even his own best friend, who seemed to know him better than anyone, downplayed the significance of Lindsay in his life on an emotional and mental level.

This worried Lucas a lot, because he knew that one of the reasons Brooke asked for this time apart was because of her insecurities. She needed to know that she could trust him again, trust in their relationship, in their love and somehow working with Lindsay didn't send the message of trust to Brooke in Lucas's opinion.

Although Lindsay was in a very happy relationship from what he could tell, Brooke had been through it all with Lucas and he was ashamed to admit that sometimes being in a committed relationship didn't deter him from finding himself in compromising situations with other women.

Sighing heavily, Lucas rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the warning of an oncoming wine induced headache, and turned to Jack.

"Hey, let me ask you something."

Jack didn't reply, just motioned him along.

"If I needed some help around the office, particularly with reading new material, would you have a problem with taking on another editor part time?"

Lucas figured that if anything, Jack was still his business partner and he needed to inform the free spirit of any changes he was thinking of making. Also, on a more selfish note, Lucas hoped Jack would give him a partial opinion of what to do about Lindsay.

"Well, I'd have to check what we could pay them and all, but yea sure, I mean if you need the help, I won't put you out."

Lucas nodded and silence fell over them again, until he spoke somewhat hurriedly.

"Well what if I asked Lindsay to help?"

If Lucas had been looking at Jack, he would've seen the brunette cock his eyebrow at his question.

"Lindsay? As in your ex fiancé, who left you at the altar, Lindsay?"

_All this time I've just been too blind to understand  
What should matter to me_

Jack's tone was incredulous and Lucas couldn't blame him. Hearing Jack state what he'd been wondering about for an entire day now made Lucas realize just how ridiculous Haley's idea was.

Lindsay and he had too much history that was left unsorted for them to be working again.

While Lucas nodded and then chuckled at the absurdity of it all, Jack seemed to have a change of heart.

"Look man, you guys dated a long, long time ago. If you think you can get over the past, which I think she has already considering she has a boyfriend who never leaves her side, I'd give you the okay, but only if you're sure you can handle it."

"See that's the problem." Lucas said, exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding in,

"When I was with her, everyone seemed to ignore what we had, because Peyton came back into the picture and naturally everyone assumed Lindsay didn't stand a chance. But I didn't feel like that at all, so when Haley suggested it I didn't know whether I should ask Lindsay or not."

Lucas was relieved he was finally expelling all his frustrations and it seemed like Jack was listening, but before his friend could give him a response a voice came from the top of the stairs,

"Ask me what Lucas?"

Both men looked up at the blonde standing at the top of the stairs with a drink in hand and a curious expression on her face.

Lucas looked to Jack for help, but the musician merely smirked at his friend' horrible timing and got up,

"I think that's my cue to leave." Jack pulled his guitar over his shoulder, "Lindsay." He smiled as he passed her, "Looking lovely tonight." He commented and the editor couldn't help but blush.

"Thank you." She replied and Jack disappeared into the crowd of people standing in the hallway.

When he was gone, Lindsay's gaze returned to her ex fiancé, who seemed to be perplexed, if his empty wine glass was any indication.

_My friend, this life we live  
Is not what we have, it's what we believe_

"That's quite a party." She commented as she carefully descended the stairs until she was on eyelevel with Lucas.

"Yeah, one for the books." Lucas mumbled and Lindsay couldn't help but frown.

"So I hate to be an eavesdropper, but I overheard you saying you were unsure of whether to tell me something or not. I don't want to go out on a limb here, but maybe if you talked to me I'd let you know if it's a good idea or not."

Her attempts to lighten the mood seemed to go unnoticed by Lucas as he was still struggling with the decision that needed to be made.

"Well, see I was kind of wondering…"Lucas's voice trailed off as he fidgeted, "You see Haley sort of mentioned that you have some free time on your hands and I uh-…"

"Luke, for a writer you sure are eloquent today." Lindsay teased and Lucas's eyes narrowed.

Apparently, he was taking this way too seriously.

"Just spit it out." She suggested and Lucas nodded.

"Yeah, so I was wondering if you wanted to work with me again, as a co-editor."

Lindsay's mouth formed a small o and she took a sip of wine unknowingly, she had obviously not been expecting to be approached with a job proposal so early after taking time off.

"You are welcome to say no, I mean I must have sprung this on you unexpectedly. I'm just having trouble with the concept myself, but I'm seriously drowning at work and I wouldn't normally ask for help, but you're someone I can trust, at least I think I can and it would just be so-…"

Lucas knew he was rambling on, anything to fill the silence that hung heavy in the mid-summer evening air as Lindsay contemplated, but he was relieved when she interrupted him.

"I'd be happy to."

Letting out a breath, Lindsay gave Lucas a warm, encouraging smile.

Suddenly the idea of working with her didn't seem so bad.

"You would?"

"Yup, I love getting my hands on new material…"Lindsay's excitement seemed to wan as a realization hit her, "Luke, why were you so worried about asking me? I mean you must've known I'd say yes."

Lucas nodded, "I did know you were going to say yes, because you love your job. I'm just worried, because I don't want Brooke to get the wrong idea." He explained and Lindsay suddenly understood.

_There might be more than you believe  
There might be more than you believe  
There might be more than you can see_

A small, flattered smile spread over her face, "You think that Brooke Davis would be intimidated by little old me? Luke c'mon anyone within a ten mile radius can see that you're totally smitten by her." Lindsay resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Men could be so blind to their own behavior sometimes.

"What do you mean? No one but you, Nate, and Haley know that she and I are even together, or whatever it is we are." Lucas reminded.

Lindsay let out a chuckle and moved a bit closer to Lucas, "Is that why you're making it obvious how infatuated you are by spending about an hour by the bookshelf in the living room, staring at the framed photograph of you and her at her store opening so many years ago? Or is that why you've spent about twenty minutes staring at the Clothes over Bros billboard over there?"

Lucas looked at her sheepishly from the side, "Am I that obvious?"

"It's okay Luke, I don't blame you. Sometimes when you're in love, you're just blinded by your own actions." Lindsay said lightheartedly, giving him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

It was Lucas's turn to blush and then silence fell over them again, each blonde was lost in his or her own thoughts of their loved one.

"You're too good to me." Lucas said quietly after some time, causing Lindsay to turn her head towards him in confusion.

"The way I treated you back then, how I reduced our two year relationship to almost nothing but a lie, how you must've been so worried and hurt and confused. I know I said this last time, but I am truly sorry for how I acted back then. It was completely selfish and unfair of me." Lucas explained.

"It was Luke, it really was, but I've accepted it, I've moved on. I forgave you a long time ago, so I think you should forgive yourself too." She replied softly, taking a sip of wine.

"I know I should, but it's so hard for me to trust myself after all the mistakes I've made, especially with people I care so much about."

"Luke." Lindsay interrupted him again, "You have got to stop being so unsure of yourself."

Lucas wouldn't look at her, instead kept his eyes on the billboard in the far distance, so Lindsay pushed his shoulder slightly towards her.

"She loves you Lucas. She thinks you are worthy of her love, so if you won't believe me when I tell you that you're a great guy, at least believe her."

"You know it's weird." Lucas murmured, locking eyes with Lindsay for the first time their entire conversation.

"What is?"

"You and me. I never thought we'd be friends."

Lindsay smiled then, actually appreciating Lucas opening up to her platonically.

"I think we're better at this, then the whole relationship thing though." Lindsay nudged him playfully and Lucas was glad she had a knack for lightening up the mood, because his morbid state of mind would surely guarantee some hair loss later on.

"Yeah, let's hope I'm good at the relationship thing with some else at least." Lucas murmured and Lindsay couldn't refrain from rolling her eyes.

"Oh god, Lucas Scott the multitalented dramatist. C'mon you need at least a refill if you're going to reprise your role as the self pitying former writer."

Lucas let himself be pulled up to his feet by his ex fiancé and even though he knew he should've been annoyed by her teasing, his mind was too much focused on the idea that he was finally getting closure with at least one woman from his past to care about any teasing that came his way.

_This could be the end of me_

_And everything I know_

_But I won't go…_

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	17. Chapter 17: Ghost of Best Friends Past

Surfaces

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi guys! So I haven't updated in a while, but still thank you very much to all of those people who read and review loyally. You guys are the readers I am aiming to please. Thank you very much. Anyway, just to let you know that a Brucas reunion is on the horizon, never fear. However, this chapter is mostly Breyton and Brachel, so bear with me and enjoy!!

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Chapter 17: Ghost of Best Friends Past

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They sat across from each other in complete silence for what seemed like hours.

Although in reality it had only been about fifteen minutes since Peyton stepped aside and let Brooke into her house. Now the two former best friends sat in a homey, living room, the blonde on the arm of a loveseat, while the brunette made herself as comfortable as the situation allowed by sitting on the sofa across from her hostess.

Oldies were playing from the I-Home sitting in the corner of the living room and Brooke shut her eyes willingly, hoping to drown out the thumping of her anxious heart while struggling to wipe her clammy palms against the silk of her skirt without ruining the material.

If she had even looked at Peyton once throughout her inner struggle, she would have seen a curious but guarded expression on the blonde's face. She was clearly nervous and even more so shocked at the turn of events, still trying to wrap her mind around Brooke's surprising visit.

That morning, Peyton woke up feeling refreshed and inspired to paint. It had been a grueling couple of months at the label. More and more demos kept pouring in, and with summer fast approaching; a lot more intern applications kept making endless piles of paperwork on her desk. She hadn't been as hands on with her clients recently, simply because the logistics of her position didn't allow her to be as big of a part of the actual recording as she would have liked.

For a while, Peyton resigned this to the fact that she had to run her own fast expanding label and should be blessed it was so successful, when music was so easily bought or downloaded for free on the Internet.

However, when Derrick called asking her to watch Maddie for the week while he and Lynn tended to family business, Peyton couldn't be more relieved to take a few days off, work from home, take a breather after what seemed like endless hours of work.

Although her heart broke for her sister-in-law, who she knew had a strong relationship with her maternal grandfather, Peyton welcomed the opportunity to spend time with her niece and take advantage of the wonderful lighting in her home to paint. She hadn't used her art room in months.

So although the end of Maddie's stay was fast approaching, Peyton was still happy to sleep in today, eat an actual breakfast, and take her niece to the park. Now, as she sat across from a visibly anxious Brooke, Peyton couldn't help but feel like fate was screwing around with her, giving her surprises all over the place, some of which she wasn't sure she welcomed.

Yet, as Peyton struggled to make sense of Brooke's visit, another part of her considered this as another great opportunity bequeathed to her without her trying.

Maybe it was a good thing Brooke decided to break their five-year silence.

Maybe…

So, pinching the bridge of her nose in order to stave off the forming headache she wasn't even aware of until now, Peyton exhaled loudly and spoke,

"I hate to be a bad host, but I am too curious not to ask. Why did you come?"

Peyton could almost see Brooke suck in her breath, but by now the fashion expert had perfected the art of a fake façade, a great necessity in the media, so anyone else would have not even noticed Brooke flinch, but Peyton did and it worried her.

For the first time since she welcomed the brunette in, she realized that she was so overwhelmed with emotion upon seeing her that she didn't even think about how hard it must be on Brooke to come see her. After all, Brooke had been the one to flee, she ran away back to New York for whatever reason and chose not to speak to Peyton ever again.

Why did she come now?

Meanwhile, Brooke was wrestling with a reply. This was the million-dollar question and she sure had a poor answer, which surprised her considering she didn't even rehearse a speech or a phrase, nothing at all in reply to that.

She'd expected a door slammed in her face, maybe a cat fight on the front lawn, so reminiscent of senior year, but instead all she got was a complacent Peyton, who asked her the question so calmly, Brooke almost wished she could tear her own hair out, just so that the underlying tension could be broken.

"I came…" Her usually confident, raspy voice trailed off uncertainly, "I came, because I, I needed you Peyton."

It was the blonde's turn to hide her anxiety. Of all the reasons in the world as to why Brooke came her, her needing Peyton had not even crossed the former cheerleader's mind.

She needed her?

She _needed_ her? Why? Why now? Why not then? Why didn't Brooke need her when she ran back to New York without so much as a good bye?

Many thoughts were running through Peyton's head, but the one that seemed to stick out the most, the most prominent of all, was the silent question she'd been asking herself for the last four years, ten months, and six days…

Why hadn't Brooke been there when Peyton had her heart broken yet again by Lucas Scott?

That thought never led to anything good and true to her unruly temperament, Peyton's understanding changed dramatically and her calmness was swapped for sheer anger.

"You needed me? Really?" Peyton said, words barely making it out of her mouth, each coated with unintentional malice.

Brooke's eyes snapped up then, meeting a fiery, emerald gaze that reminded her so much of the many times the two fought in high school and beyond. She knew this meant Peyton might not be so understanding after all.

"Yes, yes I did. I mean I do. Now. Look-…" Brooke got up now, nervously pacing the length of the living room, but Peyton wouldn't let her explain.

"No!" Her comment seemed to shock both women, "You _look_. You left Brooke. You ran away to New York. You didn't call me; you didn't return any of my calls. I needed you. God I needed you so fucking badly, but you bailed. What makes you think I won't bail on you now?"

Sometime during her exclamation, Peyton realized how childish her own words sounded, but the memory of spending the last five years rebuilding her life alone once again overrode any sense of decency she had.

Suddenly, all the pent up anger and feelings of abandonment that had since become second nature to her were released from their time capsule. She was no longer able to keep those emotions bottled in, simply because the one person she thought would never permanently leave her was now standing right back in her living room, telling her she was needed.

If Peyton was completely honest with herself, she would have to admit that Brooke admitting that she needed her felt damn good.

But who knew how long the brunette would stick around this time.

People always left and Peyton just couldn't afford another five years of rebuilding her life alone.

With Peyton's admission, all of Brooke's hope for reconciliation seemed to vanish. She could see how visibly upset the blonde was and how stone cold her expression had been as she spoke those words angrily.

Brooke always knew she had hurt Peyton badly when she cowardly ran from Tree Hill. But at the time she figured Lucas and she would reconcile and ride off into the sunset together in her goddamn Comet no less, so Brooke sorely believed that she wouldn't be missed.

At least she knew Peyton still cared…

Although that wouldn't be much of a relief if the blonde kicked her out of her house…

"I'm sorry." Brooke whispered almost, hands nervously tinkering with the bracelet on her neck, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I came here. I'm sorry for everything Peyt."

Her voice was slowly fading, replaced with dry heaves of her chest and frantic exhales as she tried to remain strong as she spoke, despite the welling tears,

"It's just that a lot of stuff has happened in the last months and I, I don't know I just thought-…"

"You thought you could waltz back into my life and ask me to help you fix whatever mess you're in?" Peyton couldn't stop her bitter tone, though a part of herself regretted the harsh words as she studied the effect they had on Brooke.

As if the world snapped into focus, Brooke's torn and emotional, facial expression was replaced by a hard exterior, one Peyton was incredibly familiar with, considering the falling out they had way back when.

Although they'd fought over a boy and it was back in high school, there were certain looks that would be etched into Peyton's memory permanently.

Brooke's icy, hazel, stare was one of them.

"That is not why I came here Peyton and you know it. You are not allowed to even think that I'd abandoned you when I left to New York. When I left I knew I left you in capable hands. Hands attached to a boy who I saw you kissing the morning I came to say good bye to you, so I'm sorry if I thought that you'd found a grand replacement for me."

Okay, so that was a lie, Brooke thought, as she angrily spat out those words, the ache still fresh in her mind as she recalled walking in on Lucas and Peyton in a lip lock that faithful morning after.

But for now, the brunette was seething with anger and a protective shell immediately replaced the vulnerability that was so palpable in her expression just moments before. She knew she was going out on a limb by coming to see Peyton unannounced, especially since she couldn't exactly articulate why she'd decided to come, but if there was one thing no one dared to do, it was to provoke Brooke Davis when she was opening herself up.

Thus no matter how selfish she felt for being equally mean and deceitful to Peyton, Brooke couldn't stop herself.

"You thought Lucas was a replacement for you?" Peyton asked, incredulity fresh in her tone.

Then she let out a bitter chuckle, hoarse from deep within her throat, "Well guess what Brooke, I haven't spoken to Lucas Scott…" she'd said his name so bitterly, Brooke felt bile rising into her throat, "Since he rejected me that same day. I packed my bags that day and disappeared just like you did, except I tried calling and writing and emailing you. Everything short of coming down to New York to see you, and in the middle of it I realized that if you'd wanted to be reached, you would have answered, but you didn't. So don't you dare insinuate that my life was complete without you. With or without Lucas."

Brooke swallowed a lump forming in her throat as she listened to Peyton and it dawned on her that there was no way she could bring up Lucas now. There just wasn't a possibility of her admitting that the real reason she showed up to see Peyton, one that she hadn't even told Rachel about, was that secretly she'd wanted Peyton's blessing to go ahead with Luke.

Now, hearing how Peyton said his name and the anger dripping in her voice as she spoke of that time, made Brooke realize that although Peyton might be over Lucas, she certainly hadn't let go of the hurt she suffered then.

Brooke just couldn't do that to her. She couldn't reopen old wounds and she couldn't throw her relationship with Lucas into Peyton's face. They might not have been friends anymore, not even mere acquaintances, but Peyton always, always held a special place in Brooke's heart and that didn't allow for Brooke to break Peyton's.

Taking a deep breath, Brooke stopped pacing, "You're right." She said, struggling not to expose any more of her emotions while she stood emotionally naked in Peyton's living room.

Brooke supposed her white flag caught Peyton off guard, because though the blonde had stood up during her angry accusations, she suddenly all but slumped down into the loveseat, facial expression shocked as hell that Brooke had given up so easily.

Bowing her head, the fashion designer sighed, "I want to say this isn't a mistake. Me coming here, but I think it is. You and I-…"

She didn't know how she would phrase it, but it needed to be said, "There's just too much damage here. It's no one's fault really, but you could blame it on me-…"

Peyton suddenly seemed to wake up from her trance, emerald eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Brooke supposed it was a reflection of her own expression, "Brooke I don't blame you."

"I know." Brooke laughed humorlessly, holding up her hand so Peyton would let her speak, "I know you don't want to admit it, but I think you do. Hell I blame myself for leaving, for reasons beyond your understanding, but this, my sad attempt at reconciling with you. It's just my way of trying to erase guilt and I can't do that to either one of us, so I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Then, as if a lightening bolt struck her, Brooke grabbed her bag off the sofa, keen on making a quick escape, before Peyton could even react, but even that seemed to work against her, as the contents of her red Fendi spilled out onto Peyton's cream colored carpet.

Peyton quickly lent down to help Brooke collect her things, but the brunette nudged her away, so she stood rooted to her spot, arms helplessly dangling besides her. She had no clue what to say, how to react, how to make the brunette stay. There'd been a handful of times where Peyton found herself speechless and this was definitely another one of them.

Brooke, however, didn't waste any time in making her escape. Although tears blurred her vision, she was sure she'd collected all her essentials and mumbling a quick apology to Peyton, she ran for the front door, swinging it shut behind her even before Peyton could register what happened.

It was then, in the silence of the living room, as the emptiness enveloped her, and she tried to make sense of what happened, that the blond, music label owner noticed something on the floor.

She knelt down, picking up the item, studying it carefully, until she turned it around and was met with a rush of nostalgia so fresh and so painful that it took her a minute to gather her thoughts and swallow down her tears.

She'd recognized the writing, even before she allowed herself to think about it, and for the first time in five years, Peyton Sawyer found someone to blame for the rift in her friendship with Brooke.

"It always comes back to you doesn't it?" Peyton murmured to no one in particular, but she knew exactly whom she was talking to, and suddenly she knew exactly what she needed to do...

TTTTTTT

As soon as Rachel saw the car door open and Brooke fall exhaustively onto the leather besides her, she knew that whatever transpired between her best friend and Peyton could not have been good.

It wasn't until she heard shallow breaths, followed promptly by even shallower, silent sobs that she realized exactly how much damage the confrontation inflicted upon Brooke.

Brooke hadn't cried in weeks. Not since she calmed down over seeing the paparazzi picture in the _Inquirer_ almost a month and a half ago. For the first time since this huge debacle started, Rachel didn't know what to say.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting from this trip, but she kept all negative possibilities to herself and tried to put on a positive façade for Brooke's sake. However, as they rode away in silence, passed the LA suburban scenery, speeding towards LAX, Rachel couldn't stop the voice in her head screaming, "I told you so."

Then as if on cue, Brooke's eyes tore away from the window and her head whipped around to face Rachel,

"You can say it now." She spoke calmly but Rachel knew better. She also knew exactly what Brooke expected her to reply, but she just was not going to do it.

"Say what?"

Brooke let out something resembling a snort and Rachel would have teased her about it, had it not been for the circumstance,

"I told you so. I know you've been dreading this trip, trying to talk me out of it more than once with your subtle comments about the fashion show approaching, so here you can say it. I won't hold it against you, because for the first time in my life I firmly believe that I should have listened to you."

Rachel should have been offended at Brooke's last words, but she couldn't help but agree. As far as their friendship had progressed, there had only been a handful of times where Brooke made mistakes, whereas Rachel would probably run out of appendages, counting how many times she'd screwed up in her twenty-seven years.

Regardless, this wasn't the time and the redhead knew that perfectly well, so instead of fulfilling Brooke's wishes, she scooted over closer to her trembling, best friend and wrapped a cautious arm around her shoulder.

"It's about twenty minutes till the airport, why don't you rest for a bit, I know you didn't sleep a wink last night and lord knows you need your beauty sleep."

At first Brooke was stiff in their embrace, but when Rachel spoke she slid closer into her friend, giving her a weak smile as a form of gratitude that she abstained from making her feel worse and that she tried to lighten the mood.

When Brooke's breathing labored out a bit, Rachel leaned against the headrest and closed her eyes for a second. Although she hadn't really done much in the way of physical activity in the last few hours, she was exhausted and it was creeping up on her all of the sudden.

She kept her eyes shut, trying to fend off the fatigue as best she could, but in her attempts she realized she wasn't exhausted at all. In actuality, she had only mistook the feeling of weariness for an ache that had a hold on her ever since Brooke told her of her plans to see Peyton.

It was a similar ache to the one Rachel experienced many years ago when she returned to Tree Hill only to find that if she stayed, she would ruin Brooke's life and the lives around her. Everyone assumed back then that Victoria had provoked Rachel to leave, but no one really knew, not even Brooke, not even now that Rachel had realized a long time ago that she didn't belong in the perfect microcosm that was Tree Hill and its inhabitants.

Even though the town was full of drama and the occasional family scandal, it still made Rachel feel left out and now that she was slowly rebuilding her friendship with Brooke, one of the most important relationships in her life, she felt that familiar anxiety attacking her full force and Rachel knew exactly why she felt this way.

She was certain that Brooke cared very deeply for her. The bond between them extended beyond simple friends, they were more like sisters, but when Rachel let herself believe that, she always flashed back to something Peyton had said to her in the first few weeks Rachel arrived in Tree Hill and tried to befriend Peyton as a way to piss off Brooke.

"_You and Brooke? I find it hard to believe you are best friends."_ Rachel remembered saying to Peyton as they stood next to her locker, overlooking Brooke talking to some cheerleaders.

"_Brooke and I aren't just best friends, we're more like sisters."_ Peyton explained and Rachel thought back to that all the time, knowing that despite the wringer their friendship had went through in the last ten years, Brooke still deep down considered Peyton a sister to her.

And that worried Rachel more than anything, because if her intuition was any good, she knew this wasn't over between Peyton and Brooke, and she would once again have to resign to the fact that if she didn't lose Brooke to a blond, broody writer, she'd lose her to a blond, broody record executive…

TTTTTTT

The airport was overcrowded and smelled congested. There were people everywhere. Departing, arriving, sending off their loved ones, or simply sulking, because their flights were delayed. Either way, there were too many people for her liking.

On top of that, her hands were perspiring from the heat and from her anxiety, which caused the four year old behind her to fidget and try to wiggle out of her embrace.

However, she kept the smaller hand firmly in hers, knowing that if she let anything happen to that child, her brother would slaughter her.

While minutes ticked by slowly, the blonde found herself feeling more and more dejected and absurd for making the trip down here so spontaneously.

On the way over, she had barely any time to think about what she would say to her former best friend, because she was too busy breaking a million traffic laws by weaving in between cars on the busy high way.

But now, standing in a throng of people, chewing on her lower lip out of habit, and trying desperately to pacify the restless child besides her, Peyton realized how stupid she was for coming down here.

Clutching the postcard she found on her living room floor, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to block out any overwhelming sound to focus on figuring out what she would say. Yet Maddie's incessant questioning had to be answered, so the usually, calm child wouldn't burst into tears, or worse try to make a run for it.

"Why are we here again? Are mommy and daddy coming home?" the little brunette asked, obviously in awe of her busy surroundings.

"No, sweetie. We're just here to return something my friend left this morning, it'll only take a second longer I promise." Peyton assured, though she was quite uncertain of how long she would be at the airport.

Her instincts brought here, guided by the knowledge that Brooke would probably want to go back home as soon as possible following their nasty confrontation and as Peyton discovered by the address written so perfectly in Lucas's script, Brooke's home for now was in San Francisco.

So, that's why Peyton was standing anxiously in the middle of GATE 22, while the last call for flight 88 non-stop to San Francisco was being called. She thought she was already too late, that she would have to awkwardly resend the card to the address carefully written by her ex boyfriend, but Peyton hoped she wouldn't have to.

In the crevices of her mind, Peyton still hadn't allowed herself to think about the implications of Lucas's postcard to Brooke, but now, while Maddie was momentarily pacified by an outrageously huge, stuffed animal a girl was carrying to the departing gate, it hit Peyton with full force that Lucas was the reason why Brooke flew down to see her.

It couldn't possible be anything else, she reasoned, and she knew her best friend, err former best friend well enough to know that despite the rift in their communication, Brooke always somehow felt that Peyton had a certain claim on Lucas. Thus it was only natural Brooke would think she needed her blessing to continue whatever it is Lucas and she had going on.

However, Peyton also had to be honest with herself when she thought about Lucas. He was the love of her life, the first love, the seemingly eternal love, immortalized in the pages of his first novel. He was also a distant memory, a locked box in her chest, with the key discarded many years ago after her somewhat foolish and halfhearted attempts to reclaim him.

When Lucas rejected Peyton five years ago, she immediately returned to Los Angeles, strategically placing as much space between them as possible. She was determined not to let his rejection break her and she thought if she returned to face the second most significant challenge in her life-conquering the music world her way- she would gather enough courage to keep Lucas at bay.

And for a long time it worked.

She refused to return to her internship position, and instead tried to start her own label with the money she made off of Mia's first successes. Mia was a godsend, with her powerful voice, and catchy lyrics, she had become Peyton's connection in the music business, and that paired with her contacts in LA, gave Peyton enough financial backing and musical expertise to start a small Indie label, still called Red Bedroom Records.

At first she was working alone, but then two other women, both her age, both eager to work, and both also previous interns, signed on as partners and from then on Peyton could only remember the growing of their label in brief, significant flashbacks.

The time their first band went platinum.

The time her former boss sent her a gift basket, no doubt arranged by some new, innocent intern, that had a card inside that said, "I'm sizing up my competition Sawyer."

And finally the time she bought her first house, the one she was living in now, all on her own, without a bank loan, as a present to herself for all the hard work she had put in over the years.

Success never felt as sweet to Peyton as it did in that moment, but when she stepped inside her first home, she also knew it could never compare to the life she had in Tree Hill.

So for the last three years she kept building up walls, invisible but strong, that wouldn't allow her to think about what her life could have been if she hadn't cowered away and ran from her home, just because Lucas didn't want her.

Perhaps that is why she was so hurt when Brooke showed up unannounced this morning.

Brooke was the first person in Peyton's life who broke her invisible walls, when her mother died, when her brooding got to be too much, when she thought her art sucked, Brooke would always be there to cheer her up, and after such a long time of not speaking, Peyton thought she'd acclimatized her self from Brooke's help; however, when she opened the door and saw Brooke, all her walls came crashing down and to keep hurt at bay, Peyton lashed out.

She shouldn't have done that, but so help her god, she didn't know if she would've reacted in any other way in hindsight even. Not because she didn't still love Brooke, but because Peyton was afraid that if she let her back in, her best friend would disappear again.

And then to have Brooke say she needed her.

It left Peyton secretly elated, but visibly upset that the brunette asked so much after such a long time of no contact. Perhaps that's why Peyton was here now.

Because she knew that even if it did have something to do with Lucas, who always seemed to get in between the two girls, Peyton still had to be there for Brooke.

Regardless, she couldn't let anything come between their friendship again.

She'd simply missed her best friend, no her sister, way too much and now that she figured she didn't have any feelings, no hate or love left for the broody writer who apparently sent love cards to Brooke, Peyton reasoned she couldn't not try and salvage her friendship with Brooke.

It was in that moment, when Peyton had reached a firm decision about why she was there and what she planned to do, that Maddie's inquisitive voice broke through her aunt's thoughts.

"Heyy, isn't that the lady who came over this morning?"

Peyton's green gaze instantly fixated on two women walking in the short distance away from her and Maddie.

From what she could make out, it was definitely Brooke who had her head leaning against a taller woman's shoulder as she tried to keep herself composed. Peyton instantly frowned and a surge of guilt ran through her as she realized that she was witnessing a classic, rarely seen, Brooke Davis breakdown and what bothered her the most was that she was walking next to Rachel Gatina.

Someone who Peyton knew would not let her near Brooke with a ten-foot pole after witnessing how distraught Brooke was.

Nevertheless, Peyton squared her jaw, tightened her grip on Maddie's hand, and advanced towards the walking pair, prepared for any battle that came her way.

However, she was unprepared for Brooke to spot her first, which is what she did and both women seemed to freeze in their strides. Brooke sent a confused look toward Peyton, and the blonde didn't know how to react, except to give her an awkward smile.

Momentarily Brooke's face relaxed, but Peyton looked up and saw Rachel eyeing her suspiciously.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Rachel hissed behind Brooke, keeping a protective hold on Brooke's shoulder, but it seemed like the brunette besides her didn't hear anything at all.

It was true. Time stood still for the fashion designer as her hands went limp at her sides and balled into fists.

She wasn't sure what Peyton was doing here, but if she was back for round two, Brooke wouldn't go down without a fight.

However, she knew from the look in the blonde's eye that Peyton didn't come here to fight, there was a soft, vulnerable expression on her face. Her green eyes seemed settled but nervous and even her stance spoke of an olive branch.

Slowly, but surely Brooke made her way over toward the pair, ignoring the rush of people around them and was almost relieved that Peyton kept a slow stride towards her as well.

They came face to face abruptly, because both were so nervous and so afraid of seeing each other again, that time and everything around seemed to slow down for them, despite the fact that there was a mob around them, people for whom time didn't stop, but only seemed to speed up.

They stood in silence for a long time, until Peyton couldn't handle Maddie's restlessness any more and Brooke couldn't handle the silence.

"I'm sorry."

They said simultaneously and the ice seemed to break. Tension quickly melted away and the two former best friends shared a secret smile, one only reserved for two people who had gone through heaven and hell together and for each other.

"Peyt." Brooke said quietly, but Peyton stopped her when she reached out and placed something distinctly familiar in her hand.

Brooke's mouth went dry and she took a hiccupping breath. Her mind was racing and she felt her hands moisten with sweat.

Now it made sense. Peyton found the card and came to the airport to tell Brooke off.

She probably put two and tow together and now came to say how much she hated her for stealing Lucas away again.

But…

"Peyton I never meant-…"

But the blonde cut her off, her expression much too calm for what Brooke was expecting.

"I'm sorry I handled the situation so badly back at the house, but I was scared and surprised and I know-…" Peyton was finding it hard to formulate a normal explanation.

She found herself almost trembling, eyes filling with unexpected tears, she had no idea it would be so goddamn hard to say what she came to say.

"It's my fault." Brooke whispered, finding an opportunity to speak as Peyton paused, "I thought I could make you understand by explaining what's going on but I know it's too late now, you were never meant to find out like this."

In that moment, Peyton couldn't help herself. She saw Brooke slowly breaking in front of her eyes, whatever had been bothering her was clearly catching up now, and beyond her, Peyton watched Rachel's disapproving stare and it got to be too much.

Forgetting for a moment that she was holding Maddie's hand, Peyton reached up and pulled Brooke closer, then crushed her into a one armed hug.

The embrace was unexpected for both and Maddie was uncomfortably fidgeting besides them, but the two women never broke apart. Instead, while Brooke mumbled a string of apologies into Peyton's ears, the blonde whispered back assuredly that it was her fault and that Brooke had nothing to feel sorry for.

By the time they broke apart, a mass of tears and mascara stained cheeks, neither knew what they had been apologizing for in the first place.

What mattered now was what the future held.

"I want to know everything." Peyton sucked her breath in, prepared for the onslaught of pain that would accompany the recognition that Lucas and Brooke were involved but surprisingly as she gazed into Brooke's warm, hazel eyes, none came and she was relieved.

Peyton really wanted to feel happy for Brooke, genuinely, impartially happy and this time it seemed to be possible.

"Okay." Brooke smiled, but there was an edge to her tone, "But my plane…" Her voice trailed off, gesturing towards the gate, while Peyton contemplated.

It was obvious that Brooke didn't want to leave and Peyton didn't want her to leave either, not when she'd just gotten her friend back.

"Why don't you stay?" Peyton blurted out suddenly and although the idea seemed absurd to both for a moment, Brooke immediately perked up at the thought, "You wouldn't mind?"

She asked nervously, chewing on her lower lip.

Peyton smiled back, "No are you kidding? Maddie's been begging for a slumber party, haven't you Mad?" Peyton looked affectionately at her niece, who became extremely excited at the idea of a slumber party and nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Can we have ice cream, and nail polish, and Cinderella?" the four-year-old asked, suddenly forgetting that she was in an overcrowded airport at her aunt's impulsivity.

"You betcha." Brooke said quickly, already excited and she locked eyes with Peyton again, " C'mon. let's get out of here. I hate airports." Peyton began to walk away, but Brooke didn't follow immediately, instead her eyes were scanning the crowd worriedly.

Peyton then realized that Rachel was nowhere to be found and for some reason, although she hadn't known that Brooke and Rachel were still friends, let alone close friends, she figured Brooke wouldn't leave until she knew where the redhead went.

So reluctantly, Peyton began scanning the crowd as well; however, as of cue, Brooke's cell phone rang and upon seeing the caller ID, she sighed in relief and picked up.

"Where'd you go?" Brooke asked and Peyton only assumed it was Rachel, smiling subtly to Brooke, she urged Maddie closer to her, giving Brooke more privacy.

For some unknown reason, Peyton felt like she shouldn't intrude on this conversation.

Brooke walked off to the side as Rachel spoke, "I figured you'd stay behind."

For some reason the redhead's voice was off, but Brooke didn't make anything of it.

"Oh, well actually I'm-…" "You're staying, I know. For a few days though, don't forget about the fashion show okay?"

Brooke could only reply affirmatively, wondering why Rachel cut her off.

"I won't, call me when you land?"

"I'll try." Rachel mumbled and was about to hang up, but then hesitated, "Brooke, if things, for some reason, don't work out or-…" "Rach, don't worry they will."

"But if they don't." Rachel persisted, "Just say the word and I'll be there."

Brooke smiled sadly to herself, realizing how protective Rachel really was, "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without you."

There was a short pause and then Rachel quietly replied, "Me neither."

Then she hung up.

Brooke didn't have time to process the abrupt good bye, because when she looked up, she saw Peyton and Maddie waiting for her, both with smiles on their faces, one more apprehensive than the other, but still equally warm.

At that moment, everything escaped her mind except her best friend and her outrageous blond curls and her signature attire.

For a split second, Brooke flashed back to another time, in another airport, when she and Peyton reunited again and she vowed to herself that she wouldn't let this reunion end the same way the last one did…

TTTTTTT

Meanwhile, seated comfortably in first class and already on her second flute of champagne, Rachel stared out the window, refusing to glance down at the empty seat besides her.

Begrudgingly, she reached under her seat and perched her oversized Burberry tote on the seat, just to make it look less empty. However, it didn't fill the void in her chest or the anxiety that had a semi permanent hold on her since yesterday morning.

Rachel cursed her intuition and slammed the window shutter in response.

She didn't need to contemplate any longer if she'd been right or not about her assumption that she would lose her best friend.

"This was going to be a very long flight," she thought, as she drained the last of her champagne.

As far as Rachel was concerned, she'd lost Brooke in a crowded airport, not ten minutes ago…to a brooding blonde, just as she'd predicted...

TTTTTTTT


	18. Chapter 18: What You Fear Most

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi guys! Thank you to those who have patiently waited an entire month for an update. I hope I don't disappoint with this and I hope you don't frown at my decision to include an unexpected pairing in this story. Nevertheless, enjoy and I'll update as soon as possible.

Song: "Sand in my shoes" by Dido

TTTTTTTTT

Chapter 18: What You Fear Most

TTTTTTTTT

_Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed  
But I'm home now  
And things still look the same_

When she stepped into the dimly lit house, a feeling of emptiness instantly overtook her. It seemed logical that the house would seem so barren without her bouncy roommate there, but it went deeper than that. All of the sudden, the space seemed void of all emotion, of all the essence that made it so homey at first.

The redhead slipped off her heels and dumped her jacket and purse haphazardly onto the couch, before making her way into the kitchen. There was a blinking light on the answering machine but she didn't bother, considering that the only people who had this temporary number were work related, she didn't care for replaying their messages.

Work could wait. She didn't make Brooke any promises that she would be her personal secretary while she played house with Peyton in LA. Rachel definitely didn't sign up for that.

On her way to the kitchen, she suddenly felt disoriented but decided to blame it on the four flutes of champagne she'd drank on the flight, instead of the hollow ache she felt in her chest.

Even though she'd spent months basically traveling by herself all over Europe, she rarely spent nights alone, so she wasn't sure how she would brace herself for the next couple days or weeks or however long Brooke planned to stay in LA.

For a second, Rachel contemplated calling up Dan, her web man, but for some reason her hand felt suddenly heavy at her side, refusing to cooperate with her brain as she thought about inviting him for a sleep over.

She must've been really drunk.

Despite that revelation, she still managed to find herself in front of the seldom-used refrigerator, about to finish off the bottle of wine she knew was somewhere there, when the doorbell rang.

She paused her search for a second and in the dimness contemplated answering the door. She'd taken a cab from the airport so no one would know anyone was home, the Range Rover Brooke rented was in the driveway unused and she hadn't turned on any lights.

Oh, but whoever was at the door was so persistent, the doorbell chimed several more times before Rachel decided to take whoever was behind the door out of their misery and herself as well, considering every chime felt like a hammer to her forehead.

She was way too tipsy to come up with a normal, sarcastic remark, as she swung open the door and found Aleksandr standing awkwardly there, fiddling with the edge of what was probably a designer sports jacket, so she said,

"Oh, it's you."

_I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack  
Try to forget for one more night  
That I'm back in my flat on the road_

And then she swiftly walked back to the kitchen, resuming her search for the wine she knew was there.

Obviously Aleksandr was equally disappointed when he noticed that it was Rachel that opened the door, but he hid it well as he stepped inside and shrugged off his loafers by the wall.

"Is that how you greet everyone ginger?" He quipped back harmlessly but Rachel rolled her eyes and muttered something dark under her breath.

"No, just you." She responded loudly a short while after, having successfully located the bottle of Zinfandel on the lowest shelf in the fridge.

"Uh, I see." The businessman said, leaning on the breakfast bar, where Rachel decided to begin pouring herself a glass of wine.

Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes but Rachel just concentrated on sipping the tart liquid in her glass, while trying to ignore the intruder.

It's not that she didn't like Aleksandr; in fact it was quite the opposite. She found him charming and he was obviously smart, always ready with a sarcastic comment or two, and he was definitely good looking.

However, Rachel wasn't exactly in a friendly mood right now and the unwelcome guest just wasn't going to help her wallow in peace after leaving her only family in another city.

Aleksandr on the other hand seemed a bit uncomfortable sitting in the darkness of the house, having noticed that the redhead hadn't turned on any of the lights when she got home, and after a few minutes of heavy silence, he decided to speak,

"So you're not even going to pour me a glass? How inhospitable of you." He commented cheekily, hoping it would break the foreign ice between him and the redhead; however, Rachel's attitude didn't change beyond a small scoff and a begrudging offering of white wine.

"I thought you Russians preferred vodka."

Aleksandr chuckled lightly before accepting the highball from her and taking a lengthy swig.

"We do indeed, but for good wine we'll make an exception." He winked then and Rachel found herself studying the contours of his face, like she had never paid attention before.

Of course from time to time, when he and Brooke would return from one of their shopping adventures and he'd find himself at home in the kitchen, Rachel would spend some time admiring his sandy colored hair and brown eyes. But standing opposite him now in the dark kitchen, watching how the twilight emphasized his chiseled, distinctly European features even more so, she couldn't help but suck in extra air, as she tried to keep her appreciative emotions at bay.

Aleksandr seemed to have noticed her change in demeanor, but he didn't comment on it, instead he posed her with a query that forced unwanted emotions to resurface.

_Where the cars never stop going through the night  
To real life where I can't watch sunset  
I don't have time_

"So where's your other half?" The blonde asked, not really realizing the impact of his words.

This time Rachel took a deep breath to keep her other emotions in check.

"In Los Angeles." She replied evenly, hoping that her tone wouldn't betray her real feelings.

"She stayed?" He asked, voice laced with absurdity.

Rachel nodded in affirmation and poured herself a second glass. This didn't go unnoticed by her drinking buddy, who gave her a raised eyebrow but didn't say anything.

Rachel began to like him even more.

"Huh."

"What?" She asked, suddenly finding his comment irritating.

"Oh nothing." Aleksandr replied, putting his hands up as in the form of surrender, "It's just that I assume she's staying with Peyton, which means they, how you Americans say, 'patched things up' right?"

"Probably." Rachel shrugged, not really excited about having a conversation about Brooke's stupid decisions.

It's not that she didn't approve of Brooke's choice to visit Peyton and bury the hatchet, Rachel just couldn't handle the reverence with which Brooke spoke of her once closest friend. Particularly because of the way Peyton and Lucas had behaved in high school, how badly they hurt Brooke. How badly they betrayed her.

Yet Brooke still thought she needed Peyton's blessing to be with Lucas. God, this was so twisted; Rachel thought her head would explode.

Aleksandr's light laugh broke through her reverie and she fixed a pointed glare at him, "What's so funny village boy?"

"Nothing." He replied, obviously not fazed by her biting remarks, "it's just that I don't understand why Brooke is so set on rehashing the past, it's obvious that whatever happened between them should just stay there."

Remarkably, despite Rachel's drunken stupor, Aleksandr's words drew a path of clarity through her clouded mind. Although he knew nothing of Brooke's past and Peyton's involvement of it, including that it had been Brooke's doing that the pair drifted apart, Rachel's selfish mind took over and she didn't correct him.

It suddenly felt good to have someone agree with her, so she smiled almost seductively and eased her upper body onto the marble counter, while taking a sip of wine,

"You know Alex, this could be a start of a beautiful friendship."

_I've still got sand in my shoes  
And I can't shake the thought of you_

TTTTTTTTT

That morning Lindsay's greatest fear was that upon her first day of working alongside her ex-almost husband, there would be too much tension and she would have to decline his offer to continue the partnership.

Now, as night sunk over New York, illuminating the sleepless city in thousands of manmade lights, the only concern the editor had was how much sleep she'd actually be losing while editing the copious amounts of manuscripts Raven Publication received in the months since its opening.

That's why when the door to her makeshift office opened and her temporary boss peeked his head in, she couldn't help but put down the pages she was working on and smile welcomingly at the intruder.

"Hey, you look beat. Go home, Ethan's probably going to start thinking I'm kidnapping you."

Lucas stepped in from the shadows and took a seat across from Lindsay semi leisurely. His languid movements and the distraction that came from the cup of coffee he offered her prevented Lindsay from noticing the package he came in with.

"Thanks." Lindsay responded after taking a lengthy sip. It seemed to work as she began to feel the caffeine course through her veins, perking her up.

"No, seriously, thank you." Lucas caught her eye and Lindsay suddenly remembered why she had fallen for the brooding writer so many years ago.

Just his look alone seemed to bore into your soul and warm or chill you, depending on how he felt about you.

Luckily, Lindsay had only been privy to the warm looks.

"Don't mention it. If I wasn't here, working I'd be at home bored. Ethan's profession doesn't exactly allow for self scheduled sabbaticals."

"He's an ER doctor?" Lucas clarified and Lindsay nodded, "Yeah he works in St. Grace Memorial. It's hectic to say the least."

There was a moment of silence as the two literary fanatics sat in comfortable quietude, both reflecting on the day and the weeks to come.

Lucas was yet again overwhelmed by the turn of events. He never would have pictured himself sitting across from Lindsay on such amicable terms, let alone working with her in a publishing house of which half was legally his.

_I should get on, forget you  
But, why would I want to_

Not to mention that he had another favor to ask of his former lover, and he wasn't sure if he would be crossing the line with this offer or not.

Meanwhile, Lindsay, completely oblivious to Lucas's ambivalence, leaned back peacefully in her leather chair and took a moment to ponder, not on the job she'd taken recently, but on the future of her own company, the company her father built from the ground up and was proud of until the day he died.

Lindsay still hadn't told anyone that she was planning on selling the company once the right offer came along.

Thus, when Lucas's nervous fidgeting caught her eye, Lindsay abandoned thoughts of the future of Putnam & Pratt and turned her attention towards him.

"So, why do I feel like this isn't exactly a social visit?" Lindsay teased, not sure how to approach the nervous Lucas.

Although it seemed like their broken engagement hadn't harmed their budding friendship since they last spoke, in fact its simplicity surprised Lindsay at first, there were still some kinks in their communication, as to be expected.

One of those kinks involved Lindsay's inability to tell right away what Lucas was thinking. She knew that at one point, perhaps eight or so years ago, she could instinctively tell what was on her then boyfriend's mind, but then the infamous trifacta happened and Lindsay and Lucas lost their communication.

She was glad that they were now resuming some sort of relationship, because Lindsay could remember that Lucas might not have been the man for her, but he was a great friend at some point.

Lucas kept his hand steady as he pulled out the reason for his visit from under his chair and set it gingerly on the seldom-free space on the desk.

"I came to ask you for another favor." He explained.

"Oh, another manuscript?" Lindsay's eyes lit up despite her fatigue and Lucas thought he was witnessing passion in its most unbridled and untouched form.

The excitement with which Lindsay scanned over the novel, the way her fingers delicately traced the bounded copy, and the fervor with which she flipped through the pages all spoke to Lucas about the deep, genuine passion Lindsay held for her job. The type of unconditional love that was ingrained inside her since childhood. Lucas could only hope that one day he would be taken over by such a joy in his professional life.

It certainly hadn't happen to him yet. Of course, he loved being an editor, and he loved to write, it was undoubtedly his passion, but seeing Lindsay scan over the manuscript, too bewildered by its size to ask any questions, made Lucas question if he ever did understand the meaning of the word passion.

During his reverie, Lucas didn't notice Lindsay flip confusedly through the back and front of the makeshift book he handed her, until her voice interrupted his thoughts,

"Umm Luke, there's no byline here. Was this sent anonymously?"

Lucas swallowed visibly. His Adam's apple prominently shifted against the skin of his throat. Nonetheless a warm smile spread over his lips as he leaned forward and prepared to explain to his one time fiancé that he would now ask her to edit his third novel, another love story, although to a very different girl…

_I know we said goodbye  
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again_

Half a bottle of white wine quickly turned into a whole bottle of Merlot and eventually Rachel ushered Alex out of the house on a liquor run. He returned in about twenty minutes, keeping true to his promise to bring the redhead something stronger than what they had previously.

Though the foreigner seemed uneasy, ladling out liquor into shots like an expert to the redhead who already had more than her share, something about her made Alex think she could handle it.

For all he knew though, he could've been wrong and had made a huge mistake by adhering to her requests.

Now, an hour after his quick, booze run, Alex sat on the coach across from Rachel, who despite the copious amount of alcohol consumed, seemed pretty lucid and was in the middle of relegating Alex with her many wild and crazy adventures on the Spanish party island, Ibiza.

Half way through describing a drunken local who chased after her for three blocks demanding her number, Alex couldn't help but interrupt her with a question that had been on his mind for some time now,

"So why did you decide to travel through Europe?"

It seemed an innocent enough query but when he noticed the way the redhead froze in the middle of her sentence, her eyes growing slightly wide, and her lips suddenly pursed tight, he realized he'd crossed uncharted territory.

"If that's too personal, I won't pry. I was just curious. I mean you took off six months from work to go didn't you?"

"I don't work." Rachel replied sternly, "I did some modeling for Clothes/Bros about six years ago, but it didn't really work out."

She then reached for the highball filled with vodka on the rocks and took a lengthy sip from it.

"Oh, how come? I'm sure you would've been amazing."

Rachel looked up then, a humorless smirk on her face, "Right."

_Tomorrow's back to work and down to sanity  
should run a bath and then clear up the mess I made before I left here_

Her lack of confidence wasn't something Alex would've thought the redhead possessed. If anything, when he usually interacted with her, she exuded confidence to the point of arrogance, so this seemed to be uncharacteristic of the former model.

Although it usually turned him off if women were fishing for compliments by expressing a lack of self esteem, when Rachel rebuked his compliment, it actually made the businessman second guess his perception of her.

If anything, it intrigued him rather than put him off.

"No, seriously. Why don't you do it anymore?" He asked, surprised at himself for being so forward. He had always been friendly with Brooke's mysterious roommate but he had never tried to get to know her, which was probably why his questions, though innocent, might have seemed prying to the redhead.

For a split second, Alex noticed discomfort flash in Rachel's eyes, but as quickly as it came, it was replaced by a calm, green glance.

"Brooke fired me." Rachel explained and Alex was immediately taken aback.

He opened his mouth to ask why, but Rachel beat him to it, "It wasn't her fault. It was mine. I mean it was Victoria's influence that made Brooke do it, but she wasn't wrong in trying to get me off their payroll."

"Well that doesn't seem fair." Alex mumbled, for the first time feeling the effects of a double-vodka and a bottle of wine, "I tell you, from what I've heard of this Victoria, I don't really like her."

At that Rachel couldn't help but laugh. She turned to Alex, maneuvering her body so she was fully facing him, leaning her arm on the couch while the other balanced her drink on her thigh.

"You think that's bad? You should meet the woman. It's like Lucifer found himself a female incarnate." The redhead smirked, finding herself relaxed in the presence of this almost stranger.

It might've been his warm, chocolate eyes or the way he didn't find it necessary to constantly refer to his wealth, like other businessmen she'd met previously, but something about Alex suddenly intrigued her.

He didn't seem to fit the bill of a typical man who Rachel usually interacted with. He wasn't being ostentatious or making borderline inappropriate comments about her cleavage. Although, she did realize that unlike all those men, Alex wasn't trying to get into her pants.

Yes…that must've been the distinction.

_Try to remind myself that I was happy here  
Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away_

Yet as much as Rachel tried to reason with herself that this was just a friendly conversation, designed to get her mind off her other problems, it was getting harder to deny that with every passing minute, she was getting more and more interested in the blonde sitting across from her.

And not in a particularly friendly way.

"Do you always get these sudden bouts of silence when you drink?" Alex interrupted her thoughts and Rachel smiled,

"No," She replied, shaking her head, "Just thinking about that time in my life. You know come to think of it, in retrospect, it wasn't even Victoria's fault that I got fired. Let's just say I was in no condition to work at any job back then."

During her confession, she looked down, studying the way the ice melted into the vodka in her glass. It seemed so tempting to take a drink, but she hesitated. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea to take a path down addiction lane with a drink in her hand.

Alex obviously didn't know what to make of that statement, so he remained quiet, giving Rachel just the right amount of time to continue before he changed the subject.

He was about to, when she didn't say anything, but she beat him to it.

"Let's just say that when your main concern every day is where your next hit is going to come from, work takes a backseat."

Rachel should have been embarrassed, but instead of avoiding eye contact, she was staring Alex in the face so she could pinpoint the exact second his brown eyes went wide with shock and the moment it subsided.

She had to hand it to the savvy businessman, he really did have a strong poker face, either that or he was getting these sorts of confessions every day.

Alex didn't say anything for a while and Rachel began to fidget uncomfortably, wondering if she'd said something inappropriate or if he was just put off by her honesty.

"Are you in some sort of drunken stupor? Say something for god's sake."

So being unable to understand his reaction, Rachel decided to do what she did best: be sarcastic and mean.

Alex seemed to snap out of whatever reverie he was in and even shook his head slightly.

"I'm fine. Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that." He admitted and Rachel softened considerably.

"I know. I should probably be the one apologizing. I shouldn't spring things like this on people, especially ones I don't know." The redhead looked away uneasily, feeling the remnants of the forgotten alcohol in her hand take hold of her body.

She suddenly felt extremely sleepy and even a bit weighed down, but that was probably due to the fact that she wasn't as excited to talk to the man besides her anymore, not ever since she put her foot in her mouth and admitted to an almost stranger that she was a recovering heroin addict.

_From the road where the cars never stop going through the night  
To a life where I can't watch sunset  
And take my time_

"Hey." Alex said softly, daring to touch her bare shoulder as he tried to get her attention,

"You and I aren't strangers. I think you know more about me than some women I've slept with."

That confession easily made Rachel smile and then look to him from the side of her eye, secretly elated that he hadn't removed his hand from her shoulder despite having cheered her up, "And how many women would that be?"

She asked, her body unconsciously scooting closer to his, not that Alex minded at all.

Instead of moving away, he began gently running his hand up and down her arm, feeling the smoothness of her skin, though more surprised by the heat that radiated under his fingertips.

He probably should have stopped. He shouldn't have been touching her in the first place, not with them both drunk and her vulnerable from having shared such an emotional secret with him, but his hands thought otherwise, moving dangerously close to the strap of her tank top.

It was then that he remembered that she'd asked him a question earlier, and it was now Alex's turn to blush. He laughed uneasily and answered, "How many do you think?"

Rachel let out a small chuckle, suddenly finding his smile more mesmerizing if possible,

"I really don't know." She replied, somewhat demurely, but when she noticed the way his eyes flashed with lust, she felt the earlier insecurity over telling him about her past disappear instantly and she leaned over, her breath grazing his ear,

"I'd have to sample the goods before I can give a definite answer."

_I've still got sand in my shoes  
And I can't shake the thought of you_

She felt his body stiffen slightly besides her and found it incredibly endearing, but that lasted only a second as Rachel found herself flat on her back against the couch, with Alex's body now comfortably fitted between her legs.

The length of his torso was deliciously pressed up against her, with both his arms around her almost instinctively. He didn't make another move for a second, but then slowly leaned down and nuzzled her neck, sending goose bumps down her spine.

"I have no objections to you sampling, as long as I can have a taste too." He murmured, lips brushing almost feather like against her throat.

Rachel let out a husky moan suddenly and felt Alex's reaction to the sound, as he pressed further in to her.

It was then that she found herself in her element. As insane as it sounded, she hadn't felt this right in a very, long time.

She might've known Alex only for a few, short months, but the ache that she didn't know she had was suddenly being alleviated and instead of thinking rationally about the situation, because she rarely ever did, Rachel decided that if this was the way she would get her mind off everything else, she wouldn't fight it.

So she leaned up and kissed him.

_I should get on, forget you  
But why would I want to_

TTTTTTTTT

"I'm sorry what?" Lindsay's voice resonated through the otherwise silent office space.

Lucas cleared his throat uncomfortably; sensing that perhaps he'd went too far. Judging by Lindsay's dumbfounded expression, his fears came true.

This was too much; too reminiscent of past heartbreaks and pain he caused her. How could he have been so stupid, so selfish, asking his former fiancé to edit a book about the bubbly, fashion designer that stole his heart.

Lucas leaned in to retrieve the manuscript, but Lindsay cocked a suspicious stare at him,

"What are you doing?" she asked, aware that he still hadn't answered her earlier question.

For her, this friendly conversation had taken an unexpected turn when Lucas told her that this was the first copy of his third book that although incorporated bits and pieces of his second unpublished work, still held its own. At first Lindsay was overjoyed, for it had been almost five years since she'd had a sample of Lucas's writing within her reach, but just as quickly as the excitement came, it vanished when Lucas said,

"Linds, before you say yes to editing it, I want to be honest with you." Lindsay should have known it then, that there would be a catch, but she wasn't prepared for what was coming, "This book is a love story in disguise. Most readers might not get it once we publish it, which I intend to do, but I know that the second you read the preface you'll know that this is a love note to Brooke, and if you're not comfortable with that-…"

Lindsay had cut him off then, trying to wrap her mind around his audacity to hand her a novel with such a rude preamble.

She wanted to be furious with him. Demand to know how he could think her heart could handle reading another novel of his, another passionate love story, making her relive the terrible feeling of knowing that it was once again not directed to her.

But when Lucas reached out to take the manuscript back, she quickly halted him.

In that moment, when his guilty, blue stare met her ambivalent green one, her expression softened as her mind wandered to her current fiancé's face, Ethan, and suddenly she smiled almost.

As Lucas searched for an explanation of his impulsive decision to have her edit the novel, Lindsay reached out and pulled the book back towards her, fingering the binding with renewed excitement.

"I'm sorry Lindsay, I don't know what I was thinking. I know this must be hard." His voice trailed off almost pathetically, as he ran his fingers through his short, blond hair and leaned forward in his seat anxiously.

Lindsay would have teased him about his discomfort in any other situation, but for now she needed to make him understand that he didn't do anything wrong.

"Luke, relax." She spoke, pulling the novel against her chest as if she'd just bought her favorite book in the world, and in a way she knew that Lucas's work was included in her list of favorite works, so she couldn't help but want to read this one.

_I know we said goodbye  
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again_

She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand, "As much as I'm probably going to regret my decision to do this, I would love to edit this novel."

Lindsay couldn't suppress a small chuckle when she saw Lucas let out a much-needed breath.

"Thank you Lindsay, thank you so much." He reached out and grasped her hand in both of his, as if she had just pardoned his life, "You're still the only one I trust to be completely objective with my work." Lucas explained, releasing her hand as Lindsay nodded,

"I guess it comes from years of practice." She sighed, still marveling at the turn of events.

"I just can't believe how history is repeating itself." She mused; clearly unaware of the distress this caused Lucas as he stiffened.

"Lindsay." He said then, very quietly, "I don't know if I've said this enough since we've been reacquainted, but I think the way I treated you back then was the worst mistake I've ever made. I'm glad that you left me at the altar, not because it was easier that way for me to pursue who you thought I wanted at the time, but because it allowed me to feel even a fraction of the pain I probably caused you."

"Luke, honestly, do you realize that every time you and I hang out, it always ends with some grand apology from you. You need to forgive yourself, because I've already forgiven you. I promise."

Lucas sighed and nodded, still obviously not trusting Lindsay's words, but happy that her reaction was positive. Truthfully, he was getting tired of apologizing too, but he supposed that it was his burden to carry for treating Lindsay so poorly in the past.

This led the blond writer to think of his pretty girl, her smiling face, her chocolate locks, and mischievous green eyes. This mental image was forever burned in his memory; it was how he let himself remember Brooke when he felt most distant from her. She also reminded him that perhaps she'd been right to ask for time apart.

He definitely needed to work some things out too.

He stood up then, ready to bid Lindsay farewell, but the blond editor halted him at the door,

"Luke."

"Yeah?"

"I'm just curious, why the title?"

Lucas paused at the door, smiling, "A writer never gives up his secrets." He winked, but when Lindsay pouted, he hesitated and smiled, "Just read the preface and you will understand."

Lindsay nodded then eagerly as Lucas closed the door behind him, ignoring her burning desire to head home to her fiancé, she fingered the first page, opened it gingerly, and began reading…

TTTTTTTTT

_I wanna see you again  
Two weeks away, all it takes to change and turn me around, I've fallen  
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see again_

Meanwhile, Lucas had closed up his office and was on his way home. The lampposts lit the streets dimly and there were barely any people on the sidewalk, leaving Lucas in a peacefulness that could only be attributed to a quiet night in New York City.

He'd made it home quicker than he thought, considering the publishing house, though in walking distance, was still quiet a way away from his brownstone. Nevertheless, Lucas found himself inside his apartment not half an hour later than after he'd left Lindsay's office.

Although, the light coming from the kitchen should have alarmed Lucas, he didn't even blink as he shrugged off his jacket and his shoes and made his way into the kitchen.

"Hey Luke." Haley smiled at him from her seat at the bar, where a half pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey was sitting on the counter while she munched on a spoonful.

"Hales." He acknowledged her and opened the refrigerator, "Are you here to hang out or eat all my sustenance."

He was teasing her, but Haley frowned anyway and set the ice cream away, "Hey, don't cross that line with a pregnant woman."

Lucas nodded but didn't say anything.

"If you must know. I'm here to drop off Jamie like we planned. Remember?"

It suddenly occurred to Lucas that he completely forgot that his nephew was sleeping over tonight.

"Crap, I forgot."

_I've still got sand in my shoes  
And I can't shake the thought of you_

Haley laughed, "It's okay I figured as much. I'm glad you gave me a spare key to your place then, otherwise we'd be sitting on the front porch for an hour and a half."

Immediately Lucas felt guilty, for making Haley and Jamie wait so long for him, but Haley brushed it off, "Don't worry, we both know you're busy, so I even took the liberty of making you boys a late dinner. Jamie's in your bedroom on the laptop, as usual and I've got to get going, Nathan's waiting for me back at the suite."

She slid off the bar stool and placed the ice cream back in the freezer before coming up to Lucas and placing both hands on his shoulders, "Try not to work yourself into the gutter and take some time off tomorrow morning if you can. I kind of promised Jamie you'd shoot some hoops with him."

Haley bit her lip, uncertain if Lucas had time for that, but her oldest best friend simply grinned back and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Haley, don't worry. I have all the time in the world for that kid." He looked at her seriously and Haley relaxed.

"Alright, well I'm going to go call a cab." She walked over to the phone and dialed a number.

Lucas nodded and headed off into his bedroom to change into some sweats, before convincing his nephew to get off the laptop.

"Hey J. Luke what's up?" The blond writer greeted Jamie.

"Hey Uncle Luke, that nickname doesn't apply anymore. Sorry to ruin it for ya considering how handsome I am, but everyone says I look more and more like my dad."

The look of pride in Jamie's twinkling eye was unmistakable and Lucas playfully rolled his eyes, before shrugging off his button down, "Oh god, the Nathan Scott ego has actually been passed down, what will we ever do."

Jamie snickered softly at Lucas's comments but then focused on the laptop screen a bit confused. He had been scouting the AOL sports pages when he accidentally clicked on the celebrity photo gallery. He would've easily just skipped the Internet page, except a certain photograph caught his eye.

Jamie was glad he could read as he squinted down and read the caption underneath. His face immediately broke into a smile, "Hey Uncle Luke, look who it is."

Lucas turned around, expecting someone standing in the doorway, but found his nephew pointing to the computer screen. As he stepped closer, the color drained from his face and he had to blink in order to make sure he was seeing correctly.

It wasn't the fact that it was a photo of his pretty girl, dressed in a blue, summer dress and white wedges, a million shopping bags in tow, no doubt on the busy streets of LA, but it was the taller, paler, blonder woman striding besides her that made Lucas's throat dry and his knees almost give out, as he sat on the edge of his bed in disbelief.

A million thoughts were running through his head as he studied the photo. After not seeing or hearing from her in five years, suddenly there was Peyton Sawyer. In Lucas's mind, she looked not a day older than seventeen in black, skinny jeans and a vintage, white, Sex Pistols tank top.

_I should get on, forget you  
But why would I want to_

However, even though her face should have brought back happy memories of his declaration of love for her, or the many years he spent in junior high pining after her, Peyton's face only made Lucas fear the inevitable.

If there was one person on this entire planet that could make Brooke question Lucas's commitment and love to her, it was definitely Peyton. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, in the past the blonde had played a key role in the failed attempts Lucas and Brooke made at a real relationship.

So despite the feeling of relief that coursed through his veins as Lucas realized that Peyton was indeed alive and well, a deeper anxiety settled in the pit of his stomach as his eyes traveled to the deep, dimpled, smile on his pretty girl's face.

Suddenly, the three-month agreement to keep away from each other and the promises he made Brooke not to call or email her seemed extremely insignificant. Lucas knew that he couldn't just stand by and watch as Brooke came to incorrect conclusions about his feelings for her. Thus for the first time since falling in love with her, Lucas promised himself that instead of just saying he would fight for her, he actually would.

So when Haley walked into the room, Lucas's cordless still in her hand, ready to say good bye to her boys before going home, Lucas jumped off the bed determinedly, grabbed the phone, and rushed passed her into the other room, already dialing a number that he had memorized.

Meanwhile, Jamie and Haley looked confusedly at each other.

"What was that all about?" Haley asked, walking up to her son.

Jamie shrugged, "I have no idea, I just accidentally found this picture of Aunt Brooke and Peyton on the computer and Uncle Luke flipped out."

When Jamie explained, Haley walked over to the laptop and surveyed the catalyst for her best friend's erratic behavior.

Studying the two friends walking happily together down Robertson Blvd, at first the brunette was surprised, but then immediately a sense of panic and worry set in for her best friend, knowing exactly what Lucas was thinking.

Even worse, Haley had a pretty good idea of whom he was calling…

_I know we said goodbye  
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again_

TTTTTTTTT


	19. Chapter 19: Try

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hi guys! May I just say, I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with the new season. There is so much to say, it'd probably end up being longer than this update, so I'm just gonna say that as a proud shipper of both Leyton and Brucas, I'm liking this season in that respect, and also I have to say that after seeing the third episode, I think Joy and Sofia are both incredible actresses. Kudos to them for building such strong characters, not to say that Hilarie isn't equally amazing, but their acting chops really showed in this episode. Anyway, this chapter is long and has a lot of stuff in it, but it is also very slow, so I apologize if I'm agitating some of you, but it needs to be done. Constructive criticism is always appreciated and I dedicate this update to all the people that have followed my story from day one, you guys are the best! No joke!

Song: "Say" by John Mayer.

TTTTTT

Chapter 19: Try

TTTTTT

_Take all of your wasted honor  
Every little past frustration_

Even though the sun would be coming up in a couple of hours, the night over New York City was darker than he ever remembered. In the confines of his kitchen, he sat with his elbows on his knees and a cordless phone molded into his left hand. He was surprised that the gadget hadn't grown into his skin after all the hours he'd been holding it.

In that moment, he silently cursed his sister in law for convincing him to wait till morning to make the call. Of course, Haley knew he was trying to call Brooke, but she didn't dare say it out loud.

He wondered then if perhaps there would've been any change in his attitude toward the situation, if Haley had said anything. It was clear that she was against him calling, but in true Haley fashion she never uttered a word, only convinced him to call when the time was more convenient.

Nevertheless, as he sat staring out into the darkened street, Lucas couldn't stop himself from wondering if perhaps he had overreacted.

After all, Peyton Sawyer was a lot of things but she was not devious. For many years she symbolized the unattainable for Lucas and when they finally got together, Lucas finally found true happiness…or so he thought. When Brooke entered the situation and the pair became a triangle, his whole world was turned upside down. Never in a million years, did he ever anticipate the surge of emotion Brooke inspired in him from the first time she attempted to seduce him in the back of his truck.

It was the remembrance of that night and the subsequent turn of events that left Lucas wide-awake and wondering if he should call Brooke. Peyton may not have been a mean spirited person, but she was Brooke's Achilles' heel and he'd be damned if she tried to change Brooke's mind.

The blond editor was so deep in thought; he barely blinked when his ten-year-old nephew sauntered into the dark kitchen sleepily, searching for a bottle of water.

_Take all of your so-called problems,  
Better put 'em in quotations_

Jamie wouldn't have even noticed his uncle, if it weren't for the small sliver of light coming from the open window. Seeing his uncle look so dejected, Jamie sighed and leaned against the counter, looking far beyond his years and equally irritated.

If Lucas had noticed him then, he would've definitely confirmed that this was Haley's son.

They even frowned in the same way.

"Uncle Luke. It's two in the morning." Jamie said in an uncharacteristically disapproving tone.

Lucas's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed, choosing instead to focus on the blinking digits of the microwave clock.

"Yeah, go back to bed, we're going to go shoot some hoops pretty early, because I got to be in the office by noon." Lucas said calmly, his fingers still tracing the 'talk' button on the black cordless.

Jamie watched him intently, his pre adolescent mind trying to make sense of his uncle's behavior; though he was old enough to know that Lucas only ever got that brooding face when it had something to do with a girl…particularly his godmother.

"I'd say the same for you. I get to tag along with dad to practice tomorrow. You actually have to work."

"Jamie." Lucas said sternly, about ready to tell his nephew to go to bed, but Jamie stopped him,

"I'm not going to bed unless you are, so unless you want mom to be mad at you for letting me stay up all night, I suggest you dial, get it over with, and go to bed."

Lucas would have smiled then if the anxiety weren't too much to bear. He wasn't at all surprised at the tenacity his nephew displayed; after all he was Haley and Nathan's kid.

But he was also ten, and couldn't exactly comprehend how much this could destroy Lucas if he handled it incorrectly.

Lucas didn't say anything for a while so Jamie grew impatient. Stifling a yawn, he reached over and ripped the telephone from Lucas's hands.

"If you don't dial, I will. C'mon Uncle Luke, what's the worst that could happen?"

_Say what you need to say_

_Say what you need to say_

Lucas rolled his eyes and just motioned for Jamie to hit the redial button.

He just wasn't exactly set on explaining to his stubborn nephew that his Aunt Brooke was his entire world and without her, nothing really seemed to matter.

TTTTTTT

The ring of the telephone sounded distant and far away.

It also didn't sound anything like the Pussycat dolls ring tone she had on her Blackberry, so it must have been the house phone, which no doubt probably meant that it was for Brooke or it could've be Brooke.

Her eyes snapped up at that notion, suddenly wondering what her friend could be calling her for and reluctantly reached out for the phone.

She didn't know what time it was, but it was still dark out so she assumed that it couldn't have been morning.

When she rose slightly, a pounding headache reminded her of the copious amount of alcohol she shouldn't have consumed the night before.

That reminder led her to think about her current state of undress and the second it took her to answer, she already knew that she'd done something incredibly stupid the night before.

Not wanting to deal with the repercussions and choosing to believe that the snoring besides her was just a figment of her imagination, she quickly answered,

"Hello."

"Hello. Is this Brooke Davis's residence?"

The voice couldn't have belonged to anyone over the age of twelve and for a split second she humorously wondered if perhaps her best friend had been running some sort of illegal sweatshop business behind her back.

"Yes it is. Who is this?"

"Who is this? I'd like to speak with Brooke Davis please."

Despite being extremely polite, she was beginning to get irritated.

Since when was she Brooke's personal secretary?

But then again, it was her house and no one really knew she was crashing here so calmly but coldly, she replied,

"Brooke is not here, may I ask-…"

She was cut off by a rustling on the other end, quickly followed by a male voice that seemed more familiar, "Rachel? Where's Brooke?"

Obviously the only person insane enough to call at 5 fucking 30 in the morning was Lucas Scott.

Rachel almost scoffed out loud.

Instead she laid back down and sighed heavily into the phone, "She's not here Luke and I'm not exactly clear on your little arrangement, but should you even be calling here?"

_Say what you need to say_

_Say what you need to say_

She knew it was insensitive of her to rub it into his face, because she was well aware that it had not been his decision at all to arrange this separation, but it was almost 6am, she had a pounding headache, and she just did not care whom she offended so early in the morning.

"Where is she Rachel?" He asked, his voice now quieter, less confident, but also relieved.

"Out." The redhead replied, not feeling up to informing Lucas of the wonderful turn of events in the last 48 hours. She didn't need another person feeling sorry for her, because her only best friend decided to abandon her in favor of a skinny blonde yet again.

There was a heavy silence on the other end and Rachel was about ready to hang up, when Lucas spoke again, the concern and anxiety in his voice evident even from long distance,

"Rachel, please tell me where she is? I need to talk to her, I need to tell her-…"

"She's with Peyton Luke. She's in LA with Peyton." Rachel said curtly, but her tone softened considerably as she heard Lucas expel a sigh, followed by a muffled curse.

"Why…why is she there? Did Peyton call her or something?" He asked, obviously trying to conceal his anxiety, and failing miserably.

"No, actually she decided to go see her." Rachel explained.

"What?" Lucas asked, in clear disbelief, "Why would she do that?"

Rachel exhaled, annoyance lurking inside her, "Luke, I don't know. Honestly, I think it's dumb. They haven't spoken in over four years and now she wants to mend fences? This is ridiculous."

"…So it was Brooke's decision?" Lucas asked, concern prominent in his voice.

For the first time it hit Rachel that she wasn't the only one paranoid about Peyton stealing Brooke away.

Hmm…so skinny blonde #1 was afraid of skinny blonde #2.

It was almost as comically depressing as a Shakespearean tragedy.

Then again if Lucas was so terrified of losing Brooke to Peyton, than she didn't even stand a chance.

In that moment, Rachel felt like she should say something comforting to Lucas, perhaps make him feel as though he had nothing to worry about; however, as much as she was a good liar, even years of practice couldn't warrant the blatant lie she would have to tell in order to assure him that everything would be okay.

"Lucas." Rachel said after a while, "For what it's worth, I think she's doing it for you."

"Doing what? Getting an earful from Peyton about how big of an asshole I was to her all those years ago? Feeding Brooke with insecurities that'll most likely insure that I'll never see her again?" His voice was rising, but he never seemed angry with her. Instead, it seemed like he was looking for comfort instead of a sparring partner.

"I don't think you give Brooke enough credit. I mean she did take you back years ago when she knew how attached you'd been to Peyton. You never know Luke."

She should have told him not to be so self-centered and assume that Peyton still harbored residual anger over what happened between them so many years ago. However, if she were being honest, Rachel knew that there was a likely possibility that, though Peyton had gotten over Lucas in the romantic sense, his form of rejection and subsequent betrayal still probably hurt like hell.

"Yeah I guess I don't." He mumbled quickly, and before Rachel could say anything, he said, "Look, sorry for waking you up. Go back to sleep and please don't mention this to Brooke."

"Okay Luke." She said equally quietly, "Take care of yourself."

"Yeah." He sighed, "You too."

Then the line went dead and Rachel collapsed against the pillows.

As she was about to mull over the conversation in her head, a toned arm draped it self tighter around her stomach and she exhaled loudly. For now, she concluded, Lucas's problems could wait, she had a more tangible issue in hand.

Yet despite trying to act as though nothing but casual sex occurred the night before, Rachel cracked as smile and brushed a stray hair off of her bedmate's forehead.

Sleep was calling to her and she let his arm pull her closer.

Maybe this problem could wait too.

At least until a less ungodly hour…

TTTTTTT

_Walking like a one man army  
Fighting with the shadows in your head_

The ground shook furiously beneath her feet as the identical houses passed by her in a flash. She wasn't sure how quickly she was running, but for the first time in a while she felt overcome with energy.

Perhaps it was this idea of being free.

Free of everything that up till then had defined her daily routine.

Ever since she sent Lucas away, her days were spent on autopilot. Rarely did she go out to clubs, because it would remind her of the night Rachel, she, and Luke went out to Otis; and she was intent on healing without going to places that reminded her of what she could potentially never get back.

Thus work consumed most of her time. The fashion show was coming together smoothly. The models were hired, the interior design was complete, the outfits were in the process of being assembled, and her studio buzzed with energy and chatter every morning that she arrived and greeted her employees.

The guest list included some of fashion's rising stars and some of Hollywood's most notable names, which also happened to be her regular customers.

Somehow, Rachel had actually gotten in touch with one of Gavin Degraw's managers and now the rocker was slated to perform during the runway show.

All in all, Brooke should have been ecstatic, but as she realized now, away from everything, San Francisco was starting to feel as suffocating as New York City did.

And this absolutely petrified her.

It completely underlined her suspicion that these passed couple months, she wasn't escaping, she was running, and since there was no particular destination in mind, Brooke realized she might never stop.

Unlike the jog she embarked on this morning, the trek from New York to Milan then from Milan to San Francisco didn't have a particular end point. As she figured then, leaving New York would do her some good; she would recuperate, change her scenery, and return back home when she felt like it.

Except she didn't think that even after six months of trekking all over the world and settling 3,000 miles away from the Big Apple, her demons would still be chasing her.

She stopped abruptly then, not even flinching at the effect the sudden stop had on her body, as all the lighthearted thoughts she'd had when she woke up that morning in her P. Sawyer's house, were replaced by a unique and very familiar feeling of dread.

She thought that by now the fear would dissipate. She thought that staying in San Francisco for a while and trying to patch things up with her former best friend would remedy her fear, but it wasn't and Brooke realized that this feeling went beyond Lucas.

It went beyond feeling insecurity over a relationship she may or may not have sabotaged and it went beyond the feeling of losing all her hard earned success and proving her mother right.

Instead, this feeling was uniquely derived from something Brooke had grown up with.

Fear that she wasn't good enough, fear that what ultimately forced her to run again would eventually consume her, fear that when Lucas found out the reason why she truly escaped Manhattan, he wouldn't want her anymore.

Shuttering at the thought, Brooke shut her eyes and tried to slow her accelerated heartbeat.

It was beating so fast that she didn't know whether it was because she had just run a good three miles or because she was suddenly becoming consumed with fear for the future.

She didn't have a moment to think about it as her cell phone vibrated against her hip.

It was a text.

Opening it, she smiled when she saw the number.

"_So typical of you, I wake up and you're nowhere to be found! Was I just a one night stand?" _

It was from Peyton and Brooke openly giggled at her friend's much missed sarcasm.

After quickly typing an equally witty reply, Brooke placed her phone in her pocket and braced herself for the run back to the house.

Although the text was in good humor, it reminded Brooke of another thing that she had yet to do.

She still had to tell P. Sawyer that she was madly in love with the boy who had written an entire novel about her and then broke her heart…

TTTTTTTT

When she slipped into the house, undetected, the sound of a child's laughter and the sizzle of the skillet filled her with a feeling of homeliness she hadn't felt in a really long time.

Shrugging off her borrowed running shoes, she made her way into the kitchen, and leaned against the doorway, making sure not to interrupt the sight before her.

Peyton stood leaning against the stove, watching as Maddie attempted to evenly spread pancake batter onto the slightly heated pan. The brunette child had a look of concentration that made Brooke smile and when she accidentally splattered some mixture on her aunt's face, Brooke couldn't suppress a chuckle and exposed herself.

Peyton's head snapped up at the sound and a brief moment of surprise was replaced by a sense of comfort between the two friends.

Peyton smiled warmly at her houseguest and Brooke swallowed visibly.

It seemed like any time that Peyton expressed her genuine happiness over Brooke's visit, even something as simple as smile, it seemed to rouse guilty feelings in the spunky fashion designer.

She knew that sooner or later Peyton would realize that Brooke was hiding something and the brunette would be caught without much to say. She definitely did not want that to happen.

In fact, if anything she wanted to be as prepared as possible for the inevitable conversation. However, she couldn't just bide her time as she pleased, there was a life waiting for her in San Francisco, a job, a redheaded roommate, and maybe if she was lucky, she'd have someone waiting for her in New York as well.

Thoughts of New York immediately reminded her of what she'd thought about on her run and it reflected in her expression.

"Something wrong?" Peyton asked, cocking an eyebrow in her direction.

"No." Brooke shook her head, loose tendrils falling out of her tie and sticking to her sweaty skin.

This reminded Brooke that a shower was in order.

"Hey Brooke, we are making pancakes, would ya like some?"

The innocent inquiry from the child broke Brooke's concentration and frown. Her face immediately lit up as it usually did when little children were around and she nodded enthusiastically.

"I'll definitely grab some after I'm done showering okay munchkin?" Brooke walked up to her and gave her a light tickle against her abdomen.

Maddie giggled and almost dropped the spatula, "Whoa there. I think that's enough cooking for you missy. Why don't you go show Brooke where the towels and other stuff is and I'll finish up here okay?"

Peyton asked, intercepting the cooking utensil while Brooke helped Maddie off the stool she was standing on in order to reach the stove.

The child nodded and pulled Brooke out of the kitchen. When the two disappeared behind the arched doorway, Peyton leaned against the counter thoughtfully.

She might've been imaging it earlier, but something about her oldest friend was very different this morning.

After they'd returned from the airport, they'd dropped off Maddie at a play date and went to get lunch in downtown. They ended up catching up for hours about what they'd missed from each others' lives in the passed five years.

Over coffee, Peyton learned about Brooke's ever growing clothing company and in return told Brooke about how difficult being in charge of a rapidly expanding record label was.

At first the curly blonde found it odd that their deep conversation never breached the subject of relationships, especially considering that Lucas Scott, the boy who always seemed to tie them together and tear them apart, was writing postcard love letters to Brooke. However, in the middle of the talk, Peyton realized that it was incredibly liberating to be talking to Brooke again so she never brought it up.

_Living out the same old moment  
Knowing you'd be better off instead,  
If you could only_

By the end of the night, their five-year separation seemed like a distant memory and the two friends bid each other good night with excellent spirits; nevertheless, seeing Brooke's frown unexpectedly this morning, Peyton knew that perhaps there was something that was bothering her friend. But unlike the last time they'd seen each other, she wouldn't just let Brooke get away without opening up to her.

There weren't a lot of things Peyton ever regretted in her life, but looking back on it now, she wished she'd done right by her friend and fought for their friendship rather than let her hide away in New York.

She wished she had not been so consumed by the idea of loving a boy who continuously saved her and paid more attention to the girl who'd been saving her since she was nine years old.

Peyton just wished she'd been more observant.

Just then she smelled something burning, turning around she realized the pancake she'd set on making into a smiley face for her enthusiastic niece, was now no more appealing to eat than a cinderblock.

Sighing heavily, she dumped the wasted batter into the sink and sprayed the pan once more with cooking oil, though her mind was completely elsewhere.

She was thinking about how she didn't want to let her bubbly friend get away this time, except she wouldn't be able to do anything unless Brooke opened up, which seemed as likely a possibility as making the burned pancakes taste edible.

_Say what you need to say_

_Say what you need to say_

TTTTTTTT

"So he hasn't moved since then?" Haley sighed, eyeing her best friend suspiciously.

"No, he made me waffles like two hours ago, and he talked to Uncle Jack, telling him he'd by much later than noon. Other than that, yup, he's just been sitting there." Jamie explained, resting his elbows on the breakfast bar and his chin in his hands.

He watched his mom expel a heavy sigh and watch his uncle thoughtfully.

After the phone call that early morning, he thought Uncle Luke had gotten to bed too, but five hours later when Jamie emerged with a basketball tucked under his arm, ready to head to the basketball courts to shoot hoops, he found Lucas sitting on the alcove in the living room, fiddling with the telephone while looking out the window.

They'd exchanged a good morning and Lucas quickly and quite guiltily crushed Jamie's hopes of playing basketball.

The ten year old was upset at first, having looked forward to the morning out with his uncle, but he was more concerned with how strangely spaced out his uncle seemed.

He decided to give him a few hours to relax, but Lucas had only made him breakfast and returned to his seat without even chatting with him as he usually would.

At this point, his mom called and Jamie decided that reinforcements were needed, so now Haley arrived and it seemed like she didn't have a clue of what was going on with his uncle either.

She only ever massaged her temples and tapped her manicured nails against the counter when she was anxious about something.

Jamie swallowed, "Mom."

"Yeah baby?"

"Uncle Luke seems weird. What's going on with him? Is it because of Aunt Brooke, did she do something to him?"

Haley turned to him then, a warm smile on her face, "Honey, it's a bit of a complicated story." She said softly and Jamie nodded,

"I know, I know." He sighed, poking at a cold waffle he didn't finish earlier, "Everything is always complicated."

"Hey, I know you probably don't remember much about Aunt Brooke, but when you were just a little munchkin, just half your age now, she lived in Tree Hill and so did Uncle Luke." Haley began quietly; making sure Lucas was out of earshot.

It worried her that he didn't even acknowledge her presence when she stepped into the house. It was as if his entire mind was completely focused on whatever he founded out on the phone.

Haley hadn't had a chance to ask him, because her son was suddenly interested in figuring out why his usually attentive Uncle Lucas was being so withdrawn.

"In fact, they used to date in high school."

"Like you and dad?" Jamie asked, tracing patterns on the marble surface.

"Yeah." Haley nodded, briefly transported back to the beginnings of her and Nathan's unexpected relationship.

It happened over ten years ago, and yet to her it still seemed unbelievable.

They'd actually made it.

"So how come they're not married like you and dad?"

Haley was somewhat surprised by her son's question and wanted to answer that it was because Uncle Luke was an idiot back in high school and Aunt Brooke was way too insecure. But it seemed like it would tarnish Lucas's hero image in her son's eyes and Haley didn't have the heart to, so instead she just gave him the sugarcoated version,

"Life happened. Brooke moved to New York City and started her clothing company and your uncle moved in with us and helped out with you."

She also didn't have the heart to tell Jamie that Aunt Peyton may or may not have been apart of the love triangle from hell back then. She also didn't want to tell her son that the reason behind his uncle's brooding state was the possibility that his past demons were catching up with him and that he may not ever get to be with Brooke again.

"With me?" Jamie asked, confused, "Why did you need help with me?" His nose wrinkled in confusion and Haley reached out to ruffle his hair,

"Let's just say you used to have a nice set of lungs on you." Haley teased and Jamie still seemed confused but didn't press the issue, instead he looked across the room at his uncle and sighed,

"He seems different mom. I'm kind of worried." Jamie explained, sounding too mature for his age and Haley looked passed him at Lucas,

"Yeah honey, so am I."

_Say what you need to say_

_Say what you need to say_

TTTTTTT

Brooke was leisurely wrapping a fluffy, white towel around herself when she heard her cell phone ring for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Ironically, since arriving in LA, Brooke felt like her business life had abruptly been put on hold, and for a second she felt almost pathetic, realizing her company had taken over her social life to the point that she wasn't expecting a personal phone call.

Thus, she didn't even check the caller ID and answered in a haste, only to be taken so aback by the caller's voice that she had to sit down on the bed.

"Haley?" She asked quietly, unable to comprehend that it was she on the phone.

"Yeah it's me. I am so glad you kept your old cell number."

Brooke suddenly became aware that she hadn't spoken with Haley in a little over a year, minus the occasional email, so if she was calling, it couldn't have been anything good.

With people from Tree Hill it rarely ever was.

"Why?" She asked worriedly, "Is something wrong? Haley, please tell me what's going on."

Clutching the towel between her breasts, Brooke swallowed hard as Haley replied, quite hesitantly, "I shouldn't even be calling, it's not my place." her ex roommate said cryptically, but before Brooke could make her explain, Haley did so herself,

"It's Lucas. He's not doing so well."

At that Brooke truly thought she would lose her mind. Although he had only lingered in the back of her mind since she arrived in LA, the idea of Lucas hurt or in trouble still made her insides turn.

"Oh my god Haley." Brooke didn't even realize her voice was raising as panic set in, "Is he okay?"

"Brooke, calm down. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry I've just never seen him like this, he knows where you are Brooke. He knows you're in Los Angeles with Peyton and it's tearing him apart."

"What?" Brooke asked, utterly confused as to why Haley was suddenly telling her this. She never once thought her seeing Peyton would make Lucas uncomfortable in any way.

How did he even know?

"Last night, Jamie was surfing the web and found a picture of you and Peyton in LA. I guess a paparazzi caught you guys. Lucas saw, freaked out, and called you, I guess on your house number in San Francisco, because he obviously didn't talk to you, since you know nothing about it. I'm just worried Brooke, he's in his weird brooding state and usually I wouldn't bat an eyelash but he seems so upset, I think everything is getting to him, I think you're the only-…"

"Haley." Brooke said quietly, but sternly. Surprisingly, it made one of her oldest and dearest friends stop talking, "You know about San Francisco then?" she asked, suddenly nervous as hell that someone other than Rachel knew about it.

With Rachel it was easy, Brooke knew her redheaded friend would never judge her, simply because in her 27 years on earth, Rachel had done a bunch of things that Brooke never judged her for either.

With Haley, it could have been very different. Haley, although married at 17 and pregnant before she graduated high school, always held an air of grace and maturity and it made Brooke a bit intimidated in her presence.

Even worse, Haley never judged her for anything, not even when she'd slept with her own husband and recorded it on VHS, so that made Brooke want to impress her even more.

"I do know Brooke. I know pretty much everything." Haley sighed and Brooke would've sworn it came with a disapproving tone, but she composed herself nonetheless.

"So you know about what happened between us before I left Tree Hill?"

"Yeah, I know _why _you left Tree Hill Brooke, and I also know that Lucas never got over you. He's still not over you and this arrangement you guys have is killing him, because he-…"

"Killing him?" Brooke exclaimed, no longer able to contain herself as Haley's tone grew more and more accusing.

"You think I like not seeing him? You think I wake up every morning and don't think about him? You think this is easy for me Haley? You have no idea how hard it's been, but I've given him so many chances-…"

"Brooke, I know you've given him chances and I know he's screwed up plenty of times before, but you can't inflict unnecessary worry on him by going to see Peyton-…"

"Haley, you think I came to see Peyton to make Lucas upset? Oh my god, this must be a joke." Brooke ran a frustrated hand through her wet hair,

"I came to see my oldest friend after not seeing her for five years so that I could finally make peace with the fact that I'd slept with the love of her fucking life; then cowardly chose to ignore her efforts to contact me for a goddamn year, because I was afraid of how badly I'd screwed up our already delicate friendship. So trust me Haley I'm not doing this to bruise Lucas's ego."

"Brooke it's not like-…"

But Brooke didn't give Haley a chance to explain herself, instead out of frustration and evident fear that Haley's concern might be valid, the brunette clicked off her I-phone and hurled it across the room.

Thankfully, her hand eye coordination sucked and the phone landed with a soft thud into the laundry hamper as Brooke let out a frustrating string of obscenities.

Taking a moment to compose herself, before thinking of the many ways she could apologize to Haley from 3,000 miles away, Brooke decided to get up, get dressed, go have breakfast with her two favorite girls, and then possibly tell Peyton everything on her mind.

It was then, as she turned around, ready to head back into the bathroom, that she heard the soft but stern voice from the doorway,

"Is it true Brooke? Is that really why you came here?"

_Have no fear for giving in  
Have no fear for giving over_

If she thought her skin had gone pale with worry when she heard that Lucas could be hurt, than it was covered with a sheen of cold sweat and goose bumps, as she came face to face with the curly blonde.

Clutching the towel in her hands and refusing to look anywhere else but Peyton's face, which already displayed a deep look of hurt and betrayal, Brooke swallowed and nodded softly.

There was a moment of weakness that surged through Peyton's body as she almost unnoticeably slumped against the door, but she quickly rebounded.

"I was going to tell you." Brooke started, but Peyton cut her off, "Yeah? You were? you came here to ask for my blessing Brooke? To see if you and Lucas fucking Scott could start something up again? Why? You sure as hell did not need my blessing five years ago."

"Peyt it's not like that-…" Brooke made a move to step closer to her, but Peyton threw her hand up and stepped back into the hallway.

"No, Brooke." She said, bowing her head down to refrain from exposing the look of pain she knew was exhibited all over face, "I want you gone Brooke."

"Peyt-…"

"No, Brooke, just stop. I've spent five fucking years getting over Luke and I've managed successfully. But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I always thought you and I would be in each other's lives eventually, so thank you for making it easier for me and vetoing that idea for the future."

"It's not like that. I came here, because I regret not telling you about it sooner and that I'm sorry for-…"

"Just save it Brooke." Peyton sighed, leaning her forehead against the doorway, as if in realization of how much this conversation was exhausting her emotionally.

"No Peyton, god can't you just hear me out please?" Brooke exclaimed, surprised at herself for speaking out despite the blonde's firm tone. The record exec was quite for just enough time for Brooke to sink down on the bed and speak almost as if to herself,

"I love him P. I'm sorry. I know you had a sort of claim on him since you almost ran him over junior year, but don't you see why it's so hard for me? I care about him, I don't think I ever stopped and I'm afraid, I was and always will be that no matter what he says to me about his feelings, I'll always be in your shadow when it comes to Lucas. I just thought that by coming here, I could-"

She paused then, not sure how to continue, because in all honesty she did come here seeking confirmation that perhaps the Peyton Sawyer that Lucas idolized in his first novel was gone. Except unfortunately for her, Brooke had discovered a new and improved version of the girl, her blond boy had loved for so long.

_You'd better know that in the end  
It's better to say too much  
Then never say what you need to say again_

Leaning against the doorway, Peyton watched her friend crumble under her gaze, but for some reason, in some sort of self-preservation tactic, her body remained glued to the ground. The blonde knew it was her heart's way of shielding itself from the past, she'd so delicately buried, but looking at her usually strong friend break down, she spoke against her instinct,

"Brooke. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

The brunette's head snapped up as she looked at her blonde friend with surprise,

Sighing heavily, Peyton continued, "I remember a little while after Lindsay left Lucas at the altar and I was feeling particularly low about him not making any attempts to reconcile, I was with Haley at the studio, working. She told me she brought something for me. It was the small box that she and Luke kept stashed on top of Karen's Café back in high school. They used to put their predictions in the beginning of each school year there and pull them out and see if they'd come true."

"And Haley decided to cheer me up by showing me that despite having his head in his ass, Lucas cared about me, because every prediction since the seventh grade somehow included me. At the time, that talk really motivated to get him back, which I guess probably wasn't such a good idea in retrospect." Peyton said and Brooke winced at the double meaning of the last phrase; however, she could tell Peyton wasn't finished so she didn't cut in.

"Anyway, it didn't occur to me then, but now that I think about it, it should have been pretty obvious, because with every prediction that included me, it would be something incredibly childish and fairytale like. For example, 'this year I'll kiss Peyton Sawyer' or 'this year I'll finally talk to her'. It was as if I was some unattainable entity to him, someone completely idolized in his eyes. As I realize now, he was always infatuated with the idea of me, not actually the Peyton Sawyer he got stuck with-…"

"Peyton you know that's not true, Luke loved you-…"

But Peyton cut her off,

"But you, you were real to him. You were always real to him. He saw you for whom you really were, the kind and passionate and incredibly smart girl that you concealed behind a whorish façade, because no one ever gave a damn. That's why amidst the many predictions Lucas Scott had for the future, one sticks out the most to me now. Before senior year, Luke wrote, 'this year I'll try again with Brooke'. He wanted to fight for you and your stubborn ass wouldn't let him, because you convinced yourself that he loved me, when honestly I think all Luke and I ever really shared was a deep friendship that failed to turn into anything more."

There was a long moment of silence as both women attempted to process the speech Peyton gave so spontaneously. Brooke had imagined this conversation in many ways, but none of them ever compared to the intensity of this one.

_Even if your hands are shaking  
And your faith is broken  
Even as the eyes are closing  
Do it with a heart wide open_

Her fear of losing Peyton once and for all kept her from truly appreciating the confirmation that Lucas did want to fight for her in high school. It was an intense comfort for her to know this, because it made their future a possibility; however, Brooke wouldn't let herself think about it now, because she felt like despite Peyton's obvious closure over Lucas Scott, Brooke's revelation reopened some old wounds for the blonde.

"I don't know what to say." Brooke admitted, shame coloring her cheeks a light pink hue.

Peyton smiled softly at her, "There's nothing to say. I think you accomplished what you set out to do. It's just-…"

"I don't want to lose you P. Sawyer. It's not worth it." Brooke explained, feeling the hot onset of tears from behind her eyes.

"Of course it's worth it." Peyton countered, surprising Brooke with her seemingly relaxed answer.

When she saw her leaning against the doorway, she admired her oldest friend for trying to appear strong for her, as she struggled to get the words to match her facial expression.

"It's love B. the kind of love people search for and rarely ever find. You have to hold on to him. You can't let him go."

It was visibly difficult for Peyton to speak so encouragingly of Lucas's relationship with another woman, but she was doing it and slowly but surely, the ache was lessening.

"But what about you and me? I know it's selfish, but I've been missing you like crazy and I wouldn't be happy if this is how we ended things."

Peyton frowned slightly, but replied anyway, "You and I can never be over Brooke. Hoes over Bros remember?"

Brooke looked up and met Peyton's gaze with a bright, if somewhat reserved smile, "Thank you Peyton."

She murmured gratefully and Peyton nodded, "I might need some time to process this though, so-…"

Her voice trailed off, but Brooke waved her off with her hand. She of all people knew what it was like to ask her closest ones for some time, "Say no more, I'll book the next flight out."

"You don't have to." Peyton said uncertainly, but Brooke shook her head, "No, I get it. I know what it's like, trust me. I do have a favor to ask you though."

"I'm having this fashion show next month and I was wondering if maybe you could come, I leave to New York right after, so it might be the last time we'll see each other for a while."

Peyton nodded, accepting the invitation, "I'll try."

And Brooke nodded back.

She knew it was probably not work or other obligations that would be keeping Peyton from coming, but she didn't push the issue.

All of the sudden, the word 'try' had taken on a whole new meaning…

_Say what you need to say_

_Say what you need to say_

TTTTTTTT


	20. Chapter 20: The Long Forgotten Road

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Chad.

Rating: T

Spoiler: Five years post-5.12 "Hundred".

Summary: It was funny how in her most drunken moment, Brooke chose to think that Lucas's feelings for her had "resurfaced", rather than developed again.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, but school has been kicking my ass lately. Thank you for sticking by this story and waiting for so long for it. Your PMs really got me writing quicker, so thank you and enjoy!

Song: "In Love with A Girl" Gavin Degraw

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Chapter 20: The Long Forgotten Road

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"So you're not even going to call him?" Brooke asked, ignoring the half dressed mannequin in front of her.

"Nope" Rachel replied easily, tacking a Polaroid of outfit #7 to the board, wistfully hoping Brooke would leave her alone.

"But why?"

No such luck.

"Because."

"But he's been calling almost every day, leaving messages on our machine, sending dozens of daisies to the house. Maybe it's his way of apologizing." Brooke suggested, returning to fitting the statue.

"For what?" Rachel snorted, still quite annoyed that Brooke wouldn't let it go, "As I recall, I was the one who kicked him out remember?"

Brooke let out a small chuckle, "Yeah, all I remember is coming back home after leaving you unsupervised for only one day and already liquor bottles and clothes strewn everywhere." She teased.

Rachel sighed, "Yeah, I also loved the wake up call. Thanks for that by the way."

"Well I didn't know you'd be naked in there with Alex of all people, which I might add isn't such a bad thing. Maybe-…"

"Brooke." Rachel suddenly interrupted, taking her friend's arm, "There is no maybe."

Brooke narrowed her eyes at her redheaded friend, trying to figure her out and suddenly Rachel felt very small under her scrutiny.

"He's a great guy. I don't see why not." Brooke finally said, albeit her tone was a bit quieter. She could tell by the vigor with which Rachel was tacking the Polaroid, the redhead was becoming increasingly annoyed with her.

"Hmm…I could say the same for you." Rachel murmured, though purposefully not meeting Brooke's gaze even as she turned toward her and crossed her arms, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, except that maybe you should take your own advice." Rachel suggested, this time facing her friend.

"In what sense?" Brooke asked, although they both knew whom Rachel was referring to.

It was just easier for Brooke to remain ignorant, instead of dealing with the very issue that had been bothering her since she returned from LA two weeks ago.

"You know Lucas called that night and you also know from Haley, despite it being none of her business that he hasn't been doing so well, so why are you keeping up this charade? It's obvious you guys want to be together. Why don't you call him?" Rachel asked and for a moment it looked like Brooke softened at the suggestion. Her expression seemed more lax and there was even a hint of a smile, but as quickly as it appeared, it faded.

"You're right." She said suddenly, "It's none of Haley's business and it's none of yours either."

With that the fashion designer turned around and walked away. Rachel sighed and returned to her task, thinking about how for the past couple weeks any conversation that she had with Brooke about Lucas ended with her walking away…

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"Hales, there's another delivery for you." Nathan called out as he shut the door with his foot, balancing the huge bouquet of his wife's favorite flower in his hands.

"Oh lord; she doesn't give up, does she?" Haley smirked, emerging from the bedroom in a red baby doll dress and matching heels. She was digging in her bag for something and didn't notice Nathan's appreciative stare until she got out the tube of lipstick and caught his look.

"Whatcha staring at handsome?" She asked, her head cocked to the side, and a hand on her hip.

"Just my beautiful wife. You look breathtaking. They're going to sign you just for looking so hot." He smiled, placing the tulips on the coffee table and sliding his arms around her waist.

"Right." Haley replied, "Wait until they realize I'm pregnant, that'll be the turn off of a century." She murmured, resting her head against her husband's shoulder.

Nathan instinctively hugged her, secretly relishing in the feeling of having her slightly protruding belly pressed against his abs.

His heart went out to Haley, who despite loving the idea of having another child, was a bit caught off guard by the timing. She'd confessed to him a few months back that she'd love to add to their family, but that was before he received the unexpected offer and they decided to make the move to NY.

Now, he worried about her, because with relocating and figuring out where to lay new roots, the pregnancy could be just another stressor. He earnestly hoped she'd get the deal with Arista, because he felt like she'd need a career pick me up too.

"They'll love you." Nathan pulled back and placed a sweet kiss on her lips, "I promise." He murmured against her mouth, which was suddenly extended upward.

"You're biased." Haley teased, "But it's okay, because when I went to check out the middle school Jamie would be enrolling in, the principal asked what I do for a living and I said I taught English in Tree Hill, so he's volunteered to look into some openings in the school district. Hopefully, there will be something available."

Nathan smiled when Haley looked up at him, her large, doe eyes hopeful, but concealing doubt he knew was buried deep within. He found himself anxious to complete the move to New York and have her settled in.

"Hales." He murmured, hands buried in her hair as they stood embraced next to the ridiculously huge assembly of yellow and purple tulips.

"Yeah?"

"Don't castrate me for suggesting this but maybe you don't have to work for a while. I mean that is if the music thing doesn't work out."

Haley immediately fixed him with a pointed stare, pushing herself slightly out of his embrace, "Do you expect me to sit around all day and just be pregnant?" She asked, as if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Nathan took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for an argument, considering how well he knew his wife, "Look, I'm just saying that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for you to take a break, relax, maybe redecorate-…"

"And maybe I can bake cookies for all your teammates and be the head of the PTA at Jamie's new school." Haley scoffed, resting her hands against the table, "Nathan, be serious, I've never been able to sit still for longer than five minutes, especially when I was pregnant. I need to work."

She stressed, "I will work."

By now her hands were pressing into the cherry wood with such intensity that her knuckles turned white and Nathan reached out gently to remove her hands. His touch instantly soothed her and she leaned against him for support.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate-…" He began, but Haley cut him off with a smile, "Don't worry about it. I'm just a bit hormonal." She sighed, and reached out to finger a few petals, retrieving a card in the process.

Even though she knew who the bouquet was from, considering ten identical ones have made it to their Four Seasons suite in the last two weeks, she was still curious what the inscription read.

"For every second I was a bitch to you." Haley read off the card and both Scotts smirked, unsurprised by the boldness that was Brooke Davis.

"Only Brooke." Haley murmured, placing the card back and stepping out of Nathan's embrace.

"Did you ever figure out how she found out where we are staying?" Nathan asked, walking her to the front door, as she pulled on a light jacket.

"Nope. I'd ask Lucas if he knows, but then I'd have to explain why she keeps sending apology flowers in the first place, and I totally broke a huge friendship rule by contacting her." Haley explained, applying lipstick in the hallway mirror.

Nathan nodded, "You know you did the right thing by calling her."

Haley closed the lipstick and slung her purse over her shoulder, "Did I really? Because I wish instead of sending me flowers, she could at least call Lucas. He's a freaking mess."

"I think you need to let him handle this one on his own from here on out. If Brooke still has issues, it's up to them to figure it out. In the mean time, go knock 'em dead and I'll pick you up after practice okay?" He reached out and planted an impromptu kiss on her freshly painted lips. Haley playfully swatted him in response, before slipping out the door…

BLBLBLBLB

"You're acting weirdly lately." Jamie said, lightly rolling the basketball between his semi skilled fingers.

"Really?" Lucas looked at him from a side glance, taking a sip of Gatorade as the two walked down the hallway of Raven Publications.

It was around 9am and the blond duo had just left the basketball courts. Jamie insisted on following Lucas to work today, deeming his father's practices kind of lame after three weeks of shadowing Nathan.

Lucas couldn't imagine why Jamie would find a building full of paper trails more interesting than a gym full of NBA players, but he secretly hoped to expose Jamie to his first love of literature and so he did not protest.

"Yup, ever since I slept over that night at your house and you called Aunt Brooke, you have been quieter than usual. Tell me what's going on." Jamie asked, surprising his uncle with his concern.

"Nothing, kid. It's just work." Lucas lied, rubbing the bridge of his nose, as fatigue seeped into his body.

In truth, he hadn't been sleeping well ever since the phone call. Knowing that Brooke had visited Peyton, left him extremely worried, despite the several pep talks he had with himself and Haley. He'd tried to throw himself into work and for a few days it worked, but the passed two weeks, he'd been walking around like a zombie. It apparently had gotten so bad, his 11 year old nephew had noticed.

"Sure it's work." Jamie rolled his eyes, but didn't pry. His attention was already directed to something else as he bounced the ball down the hallway towards Lucas's office.

As soon as they reached his door, the one opposite opened slightly and Lindsay emerged with a cup of coffee.

"Lindsay!" Jamie exclaimed, walking over to high five the brunette.

"Hey champ, how was your morning game?" The editor asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Great, except Uncle Luke's being his usually broody self." Jamie teased, giving Lucas a playful look so his uncle wasn't offended.

Lindsay looked passed the blond boy knowingly, noticing Lucas's slack position, and how he sheepishly played with his keys, not meeting her eyes.

"Well, it's a good thing that you're here then. I actually need to talk to Luke for a bit, can ya handle his dusty office by yourself?"

"Does he at least have internet?" Jamie asked, casting a side glance at Lucas. Lindsay laughed openly, "I'm sure even he does."

"Yeah, here kiddo. I'll be right back." Lucas tossed Jamie the keys and stepped passed Lindsay into her office.

The editor smiled at Jamie and took a deep breath before venturing back and closing the door behind her…

BLBLBLBLB

Silence overwhelmed the small space as Lucas watched Lindsay type and click the mouse persistently for about five minutes. There were pauses in her movements, but she hadn't so much as acknowledged his presence, which was ironic to him, considering she'd asked to speak with him.

He'd cleared his throat several times, but she continued her actions, paying him no heed and not even averting her gaze from the computer screen. His mind suddenly drifted to the pile of manuscripts awaiting himself two doors from here and decided that he'd had enough of the patience game. Wiping his increasingly damp palms on the thighs of his jeans, Lucas stood up to leave but Lindsay halted him,

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you Lucas." She said, still keeping her eyes on the computer, until she clicked a button and the printer revved to life.

It spit out one page and Lindsay handed it to him, "This is for you. Consider it a professional investment."

Lucas studied the printed out page and a crease suddenly appeared on his forehead,

"What does going to San Francisco have anything to do with Raven Publications? And how did you pay for this? This flight is scheduled for tomorrow." Lucas asked a bit bewildered by his friend's actions.

"I used the company card, because this is a professional emergency, which has nothing to do with Raven Publications. But it has everything to do with your writing career, which can be deemed as good as dead if you don't go to San Francisco."

Lucas looked at her from the side of his eye, wondering why Lindsay of all people, the most sensible person he knew, could be making such incredulous decisions, about his future no less.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked, but already made his way back into the leather seat he'd vacated earlier, his eyes never tearing off the plane ticket and the possibilities it held.

"I'm perfectly fine, but I wouldn't say the same for your book's ending, because well you don't have one." Lindsay exclaimed, slamming the manuscript of his latest novel onto the desk in front of him.

Lucas didn't look at it, but instead focused on Lindsay's stern expression.

"Look Linds, I've always trusted your creative intuition, but the ending is there." He said lamely, reaching over to flip to the last page, "See." He pointed his finger, "the end."

Lindsay rolled her eyes uncharacteristically, "Luke, do you know why Unkindness was such a success? It was because it had passion. It was a coming of age story, which had a voice. Now, this novel has all that and more, but it is first and foremost an incredibly seductive, love story. It's extremely well written and I'm not surprised considering it's you writing, but it has no ending. The culmination of events is at best tepid and there is no denouement, but an abrupt cut off, which leaves the reader completely dissatisfied."

Lucas scoffed visibly, "Trust me I know the feeling of being cut off."

Lindsay watched him for a moment and when he looked up at her, they both unintentionally smiled. He'd inadvertently sold himself out.

Lucas leaned against his seat, tilting his neck to look at the ceiling, "I knew you'd spot it." He admitted, "This is why I waited so long to give it to you. I actually finished writing a couple weeks back, when I first came back to New York. I wasn't actively trying to seek you out, but when the opportunity presented itself, I knew I had to give it to you. I was just afraid, because you're right. There is no ending."

Lindsay nodded, "Well I can see where it would be hard to come up with one, considering it's almost 90% autobiographical."

Lucas groaned once again, "God, this is what I get for having the best editor in New York City know virtually every shortcoming in my personal life."

He was teasing, though not clearly sure whom it was directed to.

"Go to San Francisco Luke." Lindsay said after a few minutes of silence. He met her concerned gaze and nodded hesitantly.

"I probably should, but I just…I didn't tell you this, but I called her a few weeks ago. I ended up talking to Rachel, because Brooke was visiting Peyton in LA." Lucas explained and Lindsay was immediately surprised, but she also appeared to understand his anxiety.

"Uh, Peyton." She said, "The unintentional but constant proverbial elephant in every Lucas Scott romance."

Lucas let out a loud chuckle, but it was visibly uneasy, "Tell me about it."

"So what happened? Did Brooke call you back?" Lindsay asked, resting her elbows on the desk.

Lucas sighed and leaned in on his hands, running one through his tussled, blond hair,

"That's the funny part. I haven't heard from her and I know Rachel told her, she wouldn't keep something like that from her."

"Oh." Lindsay bit her lip, suddenly feeling the full weight of her actions and the possible consequences of her brashness, "Luke I'm sorry, I had no idea. I'll get a refund on the ticket; it's obvious I crossed the line."

She reached out for the print out, but Lucas held it out of her reach, "Not so fast buddy. Why did you think going to San Francisco would inspire a proper ending? What did you think I would do? Go knock on her door and ask her out for a cup of coffee?" He asked, partially interested but equally sarcastic.

"Well I was thinking." Lindsay's voice trailed off, she was now unsure of her next words.

Her motivation for booking Lucas a flight was now tarnished by the possibility that perhaps Brooke really was playing games with him. Although the spunky fashion designer didn't seem like the type to do that, especially with Lucas, not returning Lucas's phone call had a profound effect on the blonde. Lindsay remained silent for a few moments, but ultimately the romantic in her won over.

"Well, Haley happened to mention to me that Brooke is having a fashion show, I was thinking maybe you could go there, surprise her?"

Lucas smiled endearingly at Lindsay's suggestion, "You know I played that scenario over and over in my head for the last three months. I've been contemplating that very action, but every time I think about how she practically begged me to wait, to let her come to me and I stop myself from booking the flight." He explained and Lindsay's heart really went out to him.

If there was ever a time Lucas was ambivalent and needed some guidance, it was now.

And although she knew he would've preferred either his mother or Haley to give him the push in the right direction, neither of those options was available. So she reached out and gave his hand an unexpected squeeze. Lucas immediately looked up, alert at her touch, but softened with her next words,

"It's lucky for you; I already purchased the ticket then."

Lucas's mouth turned up into a smile, as he tapped his finger against the paper in his hand and nodded, "Yeah I guess it is."

"Go to her Lucas. Forget about everything else, if not for your novel, then certainly for your peace of mind."

With a final nod, Lucas stood up, feeling rejuvenated but also terrified, as he was confronted with the reality that in less than 24 hours he could potentially be faced with the opportunity to finally pursue the relationship that had evaded him for so long.

And only in his world, would the final push come from an ex-fiancé. This thought made him appreciate Lindsay even more, especially her selfless interference in his affairs,

"Thanks Linds, I really am grateful for your friendship."

"Don't mention it." She waved her hand, but smiled brilliantly, "Now go get me that ending." She exclaimed and Lucas reached the door knob.

"Definitely." He murmured, stepping into the desolate hallway, suddenly wondering if the ending would be happy one or not…

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The next morning Brooke woke up with a strange sense of calm. Usually, the day of a fashion show she was up before dawn, frantically stressing over every detail about scheduling and waking up her entire staff, before forgetting breakfast and running off to the studio.

All before 8 am.

Today, however, was different. She rolled over expecting her digital clock to read some god-awful early hour, but was surprised to see that it was half past ten and even though this should have freaked her out, she just rolled back over on her back and continued to stare at the cream colored ceiling.

It felt strange to be so calm knowing that she had such a major event planned for tonight, but she couldn't bring herself up to worry. Of course, she was fully invested in the future of her company, which meant that the show had to be perfect; somehow she was just too relaxed to get up.

She didn't feel lethargic however. Instead, she was buzzing with energy, there was a rush of welcomed butterflies in her stomach and sense of anticipation of good things to come.

She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it brought a smile to her face.

Brooke didn't want to admit it to herself, but she felt a certain relief that the fashion show arrived as quickly as it did. She usually enjoyed the hectic weeks of preparation, which included late nights, bottles of wine, and cold take out; however, she was more excited than anything for the fashion show to happen in part, because she knew that it brought her one day closer to returning to New York.

The prospect of coming back to Manhattan was in itself an experience she was dreading, if it weren't for the sole inhabitant of the island that brought her heart to a flutter and caused a pink blush over her cheeks.

Brooke didn't want to admit it but recently, she'd been counting down the days till her lease was up so she could hop on a plane and see Lucas's face again. Especially since returning from LA and realizing how much turmoil this caused him, her heart ached to be near him again, to help him heal, to wash herself of the guilt she felt for forcing the separation upon them.

Honestly, in hindsight, she knew she wouldn't have done it any other way. Seeing Peyton again brought old insecurities to the surface, but if she hadn't paid her that visit and confronted past demons, she probably wouldn't have been as excited to see Lucas again, to perhaps finally give it a shot.

She just hoped he still felt the same.

Brooke frowned at the thought, but refused to let it stifle what seemed to be an unusually good mood, so she sat up in bed, ready to dive into a hectic schedule, when her roommate burst into the room.

The speed with which Rachel ran in and headed toward the closet was wholly uncharacteristic of the calm redhead, so Brooke watched her rather bewildered, until the imposing friend began flinging expensive, designer pieces out of her closet, and heaping them in a pile on the carpet like dirty laundry.

Brooke Davis may have been at the present in love with Lucas Scott, but clothes were her first ever mistress and she would not stand to see them rumpled on her floor.

"Rachel Gatina! Are you trying to ruin my good day by wrinkling my one of a kind Chanel blouses?" She exclaimed rather loudly, halting the redhead only momentarily.

"Ugh, it's actually a Chanel top I'm looking for, remember that sparkly, glittery, echo to the 70s disco Studio 54 halter? I think you wore it to Otis that one night when Luc-…"

Rachel didn't turn around but stopped her movements, making sure to stop herself from saying the name that seemed to drive a wedge between them repeatedly whenever he was brought up.

"That night with Luke, I remember." Brooke said quietly, a wistful smile playing on her lips as she fingered the comforter dreamily.

That's the state Rachel found her in when she cautiously turned around, surprised to find her friend speaking the blonde's name so calmly, as apposed to fleeing every time he was mentioned previously.

She gave Brooke a confused glance, "Umm, what is with you this morning? You do realize its ten thirty and you're not even yapping on the phone about how someone screwed something up? Are you feeling okay?" Rachel asked, sarcastically.

Brooke nodded mindlessly, "Yeah I'm fine and before you even ask, I am fully aware of the fashion show tonight so don't start your theatrics about how I contracted a bout of temporary amnesia."

Rachel let out a small laugh and crawled onto the bed besides her friend, "So what's up then? Why are you so…calm?"

Brooke let out a laugh, thinking it quite ironic that Rachel thought something was wrong with her, because she wasn't anxious.

"I don't know." She shrugged, still playing with the embroidery on the edge of her blanket,

"I was nervous all of last week and this week about the show, fretting over every detail, paranoid about the models overdosing and not showing up, worried that we wouldn't get enough, because it was so spur of the moment. But then I just woke up right now and I feel like a huge weight's been lifted. I just feel so peaceful, for lack of better term."

Rachel nodded thoughtfully, "Hmm, well would it have anything to do with the fact that the lease on the house is up in a few days?"

Brooke looked up at her, seeing that the usually relaxed redhead was actually nervous about posing the question, but before Brooke could say anything, Rachel giggled uncharacteristically,

"God, you can't stop thinking about him can ya?"

Brooke didn't even try to deny it this time, falling dramatically on the bed and shaking her head,

"I keep picturing him in the airport, waiting for me with a bouquet of some simple flower, like the time I thought he was picking me up when I came back from LA. Of course, he was there for his mom, but I mean those first few moments, before I approached him. I remember watching him and thinking, god there's the guy for me."

Rachel chuckled quietly, "You are so smitten, it's literally written on your face."

Brooke leaned on her elbow now, "What about you Miss. Play it Cool. Why were you looking for my fabulous blouse? Maybe it's because it's unavoidable that you see Aleksandr tonight and you want to seduce him from a distance with a killer outfit?"

Rachel cocked an eyebrow at her in mock disbelief, but Brooke knew better. If she ran every time the subject of Lucas was brought up, then Rachel all but bolted out of the room whenever the European businessman was mentioned.

"Maybe." She replied coyly, "But enough about me. Get up lazy." She patted Brooke's knee, "We've got hair to lose over this fashion show and so very little time to lose it. Besides, we also have about two days left to pack your bags back to Manhattan, so time's a-wasting."

"You're eager to get me outta here. You know you can always stay here if you want. The lease can be renewed." Brooke suggested.

Rachel looked up at her then, biting her lip unconsciously, "Why would I want to stay here, I only came out here to see you."

Brooke rolled her eyes but got out of bed, "You are so transparent honey. We both know Alex is here for business for at least a couple more months and I'm sure you could find yourself a job here. Skank Inc. has on going recruitment."

"Hey!" Rachel exclaimed, shoving a pillow at her friend, happy that she could divert the attention from her future residential plans.

Brooke had disappeared into the bathroom by then, but Rachel hadn't moved. Apparently unlike Brooke, Rachel was actually full of nerves today.

Not because of the fashion show, partly since it wasn't riding on her shoulders, and not even because a guy who could potentially be good for her was going to be there tonight, but mostly because she realized how quickly things would change in her life.

She'd spent months wandering around Europe with nothing but a backpack and a credit card to her name, so the last few months seemed relatively calm and normal. And now with Brooke leaving to New York once again and her receiving some interesting news this morning, Rachel felt a rush of adrenaline pump through her, no doubt masking the fear of change that permeated through her ever since it hit her how nothing was permanent.

Nevertheless, she climbed off the bed and walked back to the closet, finally retrieving the glittery, silver top from the rack, fully set on making a certain Russian squirm with the help of her feminine wiles before all hell broke loose…

BLBLBLBLB

Last time he was on a plane, he couldn't wait for the electronics sign to go off, before jotting down the ideas for his new novel on the back of the safety magazine, while the stewardess demonstrated the safest exits from the airplane.

Then, nearly three months ago, he was filled with bittersweet anticipation. He was excited for the promise that New York held for his future, but he felt like he was leaving a piece of his heart behind in San Francisco.

Now, as he sat mutely, watching the clouds conceal the approaching San Francisco skyline, he couldn't help but feel a different type of anticipation.

It wasn't bitter but it wasn't wholly sweet, because he had absolutely no idea how Brooke would react to his arrival. Would she think he was overstepping the line by showing up unannounced on a night when she didn't need any distractions? Or would she welcome him with open arms, whispering in his ear that she was glad he fought for her proved to her that she was important enough that he couldn't be without her much longer?

Lucas suddenly felt parched and reached for the water the flight attendant poured him a few minutes ago. As if all his insecurities had rolled up into one and shot at him from a single full impact pistol. He felt like he needed something a bit stronger to calm his nerves.

It was a bit ironic how before Brooke Davis reentered his life, he was content but knew he was missing something, something unidentifiable, which he tried to find by traversing the country, working odd jobs, and challenging himself professionally.

It was insane with how little effort she turned his world upside down. From experience, he should've anticipated the upheaval that came whenever Brooke was in his life, considering how many of his firsts she'd had a hand in. But looking back on it he was grateful he didn't have time to realize that it was the spunky brunette that was the missing piece to his puzzle, because knowing him he probably would've screwed it up and he didn't want that.

Clenching the plastic cup in his hands, he reached out and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Closing his eyes against an impending headache, he wondered for the umpteenth time what he would do when the plane landed, because it was no longer about a goddamn ending to his book and Lucas realized, as the plane began its descend, it never really was.

BLBLBLBLB

_So many people gonna say that they want you,  
To try to get you thinking they really care,  
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one  
who has put in the time and you know he's gonna be there,_

Stepping under the large, white canopy, Lucas marveled at the incredible transformation his former working place had undergone. The outside was expanded into a red carpet, with paparazzi snapping pictures of high profile celebrities and locals who made their way into the warehouse, where the show would commence.

His plane had touched down just in time for him to hail a cab and convince the nervous coordinator at the front that he used to know Brooke Davis.

Thankfully, the petite blond had recognized him from the back cover of An Unkindness and quickly gave him a visitor's pass. Lucas didn't even have time to contemplate his minor celebrity status as he found himself inside the transformed studio.

He watched in awe as people bustled around him, rushing to their seats or mingling around the catwalk, which was slightly elevated and decorated in autumn colors. He noticed the theme immediately upon entering. She had really outdone herself, he thought, as he leaned against the tapered wall, which seemed to reflect a projected fresco of autumn in Golden Gate Park.

Lucas didn't have the proper amount of time to admire all the hard work Brooke and her team had put into decorating the room, because the lights dimmed and before he knew it, the voice of Gavin Degraw blared through the speakers, welcoming everyone to the Clothes/Bros annual Autumn runway show, as the models began their descend on the catwalk to the opening sounds of the crowd's favorite songs.

The entire audience seemed to respond to the upbeat tempo and the colorful and tasteful outfits that each model presented as she glided down the runway. Lucas watched transfixed, more proud than he'd ever been, to witness the reactions of so many people to Brooke's talent.

His heart swelled with insurmountable joy as a wide smile played on his lips. Seeing her success in such a raw form made all his worries disappear.

It was as if he'd connected with her through her art form, through her creativity, through everything she poured her heart and soul into. He realized that this was he'd always wanted each and every reader of his novels or the novels of his authors to feel when opening their books. It was uncanny how connected he felt to Brooke in a room full of strangers who admired the outfits for their aesthetic beauty and not for the personality that shined through.

The personality of a girl he was finding himself more in love with every day.

Lost in his thoughts, Lucas didn't even realize that the show had come to an end. When all the models began filing out for the grand finale, clapping in tandem with the music, he blinked and swallowed hard as his eyes focused on the stage.

Then as if the red sea was parting, the models all stepped aside, cheering enthusiastically for the petite brunette who emerged somewhat blushingly from behind the columns of leggy models.

Time seemed to stand still for the blond editor as he saw her for the first time in three months. He couldn't note any differences in her appearance, safe for the side swept bangs and the more elegant dress she was wearing. As he admired her appearance while she waved at the crowd and thanked everyone, Lucas smirked thinking how it was inevitable that Brooke Davis would become a fashion designer, considering how many outfit changes she'd go through in a single day back in high school.

For a brief moment, as he stood shrouded in the shadows, Lucas watched Brooke scan the crowd with a look of expectation, and when her dimples popped against her cheeks while she smiled, he grinned right back at her. He knew she couldn't see him standing so far back, but her expression told him that in the very least she felt the change in the air, as if she'd felt his presence but couldn't be sure if it were really him or her imagination.

Lucas wanted so badly to emerge from the shadows and prove to her that he was in deed here, but he held back, knowing that when he finally saw her again, he wanted it to be somewhere a bit more private, away from the crowd of people gathered here tonight. This thought led him to cast one last look at her, before stepping back into the starry night, determined to make this evening memorable for both of them, by surprising Brooke at her home.

BLBLBLBLB

_Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,  
Don't let nobody put you down, who your with  
Take the pain of protecting your name,  
from the crutch to the cane to the highwire_

She barely had any time to compose herself before greeting the paparazzi and fashion reporters, when her best friend ran into Brooke's office, slamming the door loudly, drowning out all the backstage noise once again.

Brooke swallowed hard and gripped the edge of the table she was leaning on. Sometime after the closing of the show and the worn off adrenaline, she realized that this was the first time in almost six months that she was so deeply in the public eye.

In Milan, although designers were permanent fixtures and some were even worshipped, they retained more of a low key celebrity status than they did in the US. Though Brooke shouldn't have been surprised by that, considering how most Americans liked embellishments, especially in Hollywood.

She snapped out of her thoughts as her eyes followed Rachel's frantic pacing. The redhead looked atypically perplexed and uncontrolled. Brooke watched her for a few moments, before turning around and pouring her a flute of celebratory Moet & Chandon.

"Here" The fashion designer extended the glass of champagne to her friend, "Drink this, maybe it will calm your nerves."

Brooke raised her eyebrows when Rachel declined with a shake of her head, "No it'll just make me angrier. He brought a fucking date Brooke. To my best friend's fashion show, he brings a goddamn peroxide blonde in imitation Chanel."

"Who brought a date?" Brooke asked, her mind clearly elsewhere as she sipped on the bubbly liquid.

Rachel stopped in front of her then, hand on her hip and gave her a much more characteristic Rachel Gatina glare, "The fucking Pope Brooke. Who do you think?"

She snapped and Brooke suddenly realized whom she was talking about, placing the champagne glass down, she put her hands on Rachel's shoulders.

Facing her, Brooke frowned visibly, noticing that this close up Rachel couldn't truly mask her hurt with anger as effectively as she could from afar. Brushing some auburn tendrils from the side of her face, Brooke sighed,

"You need to tell him how you feel Rach."

The redhead's expression narrowed and she shrugged off Brooke's hands, "If you think I have feelings for him, I-, I- I really don't."

But Brooke could tell that Rachel wasn't such a good liar. Her inability to admit how she truly felt, resonated deep within the brunette, considering that the majority of her high school time with Lucas was spent hiding her feelings for the benefit of someone else and though in her case it could have been somewhat justified, Rachel was just afraid. And if she didn't act soon, she'd lose the person she cared about permanently.

God knew Brooke was familiar with that heartache.

"You know you're the reason why I didn't drink and whore myself into oblivion when Lucas and Peyton got together in senior year." She said quietly. Rachel looked up then, her expression softening, a small smile playing on her lips,

"Bullshit, you were so headstrong and determined to move on, which by the way you did impeccably well. I just gave you a place to crash." Rachel replied but Brooke shook her head,

"No you gave me more than that. You gave me unwavering support and faith in myself, simply by being the unapologetic, confident, and most importantly honest person that you naturally are. You need to be that person now Rachel. You just can't hide from your feelings."

Brooke pleaded quite fervently with the redhead, but to no avail.

"Brooke, I'm not hiding, I'm just pissed off that he seems to be constantly in my line of vision. It's just unnerving you know, especially since you and he are somewhat business partners."

Brooke sighed then, and moved to her purse, fishing the keys out, "Look, I'll tell you what. Why don't you take the car home, chill out for a bit, I'll finish with the paparazzi, grab some take out, meet you back home and we'll go hit an after party. Gavin already invited us to the Harlot. It should be fun."

She tossed Rachel the keys and the redhead nodded, "yeah I guess. I mean this amazing outfit shouldn't go to waste and as much as I love all the probing men with cameras and microphones out there, I'd rather not be here when they pummel you to death."

Brooke smiled at Rachel's teasing, somewhat relieved that the redhead listened and was now somewhat back to her normal self.

"Go, I'll see you soon."

Rachel nodded, murmuring a quite thank you and disappearing behind the front door, through which Brooke could see the models were still showing off her designs to the paparazzi. She inwardly grinned when the feelings of success sprouted deep within her soul.

It was truly incredible every time her heart leaped in her chest when she would see her designs in the display window at Bendel's or someone on the street wearing a Clothes/Bros original pea coat in the dead of winter in NY. It made all the sacrifice and all the horrible consequences of being famous completely worth it.

If only she could continue to pursue her passion, nothing else seemed to matter. Brooke realized a long time ago that life was short and living each day required a lot of faith as well as patience.

But being a part of something grander, doing what you love, making a stamp on the world, and especially being with the one you loved made each day bearable and life seem worth living, which is why as she hoped Rachel would thank her in the long run for intervening.

Brooke just couldn't stand by and watch as her best friend sabotaged a potentially amazing opportunity at love. So taking her cell phone out of her purse, she called a familiar number, and after a short conversation, she slipped the purse over her shoulder, took a deep breath, and decided to brave the paparazzi, hoping to leave all her doubts and demons behind the office door.

BLBLBLBLB

_Out the many broken backdoors and windows,  
Through the valley of the love of the lost,  
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down  
from the thrones without leaving any windows,_

"You have got to be kidding me." Rachel seethed as she slammed the car door a bit too forcefully and stomped up to the porch.

"What unhappy to see me? I wouldn't be surprised, considering the death glares you've been shooting me all night." He commented, leaning leisurely against the porch, obviously not intimidated by her behavior.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Why are you here? Is your date waiting in the car for you?"

She knew she was acting somewhat childishly and even a tad bit jealous, but she couldn't help herself. He seemed to get under her skin even without her knowing it.

"No, I had my driver drop her off at home. I had some business to attend to." He explained.

"Yeah, I can't imagine your date would end smoothly if she found you here, although considering my first impression of the bottle job, I doubt she'd connect the dots." Rachel smirked, clearly trying to maintain some semblance of mind.

Secretly she found herself elated that he'd dropped off his accessory of the night in favor of her, even though she hadn't been acting too kindly ever since they'd slept together.

She watched his eyebrows rise momentarily, surprised at the level of bitterness in her voice, but then his lips diffused into a smile and he shrugged, "I thought we were friends. Shouldn't friends be supportive of each other?"

"Right." Rachel nodded, "We were friends until I figured out your true taste in women." She quipped, trying desperately not to let his proximity affect her as he stepped down towards her.

She watched mutely as he leaned in close, brushing the auburn strands of hair from her bare shoulder and whispered in her ear, "My tastes can still improve." He murmured and then pulled back to watch her reaction.

Rachel immediately felt the blush lining her pale cheeks and she swallowed hard. Her mind was so clouded with desire that she forgot what she was afraid of admitting for so long.

"Rachel." Alex called her name out and she blinked, composing herself once again, "Say something." He pleaded gently, pulling her out of her reverie.

She still couldn't figure out what to do or what to say or even how to act. With him everything seemed like it was new again and especially terrifying. The night he'd come by to see if Brooke was home, but found her instead had ended unexpectedly. Although she'd been attracted to him from the beginning, she'd thought nothing of it.

It wasn't until that night, when she was vulnerable and he'd been there, more than just physically, that it hit her that she might be more than just attracted to Brooke's client. When she finally admitted this to herself, even in a drunken stupor, everything suddenly changed.

_But you drown in a peace for the moment,  
The moment was over in time,  
Then its gone the hit and run the drifter's fun has a short life_

She'd seen him in a new light, one that didn't allow for any hiding of the truths and when she woke up the morning after, she'd let herself indulge in the fantasy of actually getting to know him and maybe even starting something up.

But as usual, her insecurities got the best of her and her thoughts about the wonderful track record of her past relationships convinced her that she couldn't do it.

So sometime between waking up and watching the Russian born blond stir in his sleep, Rachel decided that she'd chalk it up to nothing more than what it was: a one night stand.

Too bad he'd had other ideas.

While she'd successfully managed to avoid him, even when he lingered in the house just to catch a glimpse of her or talk after working with Brooke, she realized now that she couldn't avoid him anymore. More importantly she was starting to think that she really didn't want to either.

Especially not when he was standing close enough to spread goose bumps on her skin and close enough that she could feel his breath on her face, his lips only inches away from her, so goddamn tempting.

"Why did you come here Alex?" Rachel asked quietly, unable to handle the silence between them. The tension was palpable and if words couldn't break it, she wasn't so sure what she'd do.

"I wanted to see you." He said and it was such a simple reply, so honest and pure in its delivery that her usually composed heart twisted under the weight of knowing that in avoiding him, she was probably causing both of them confusion and unnecessary ache.

Perhaps that realization led her to suddenly blurt out what she'd been keeping inside of her for two weeks, "I wanted to see you too."

And suddenly, as if her words were all the affirmation he needed, he didn't waste any time in pressing his lips against her, molding to her mouth in an overdue but utterly familiar kiss.

It was a while before they broke apart, air no doubt becoming an issue. But no matter how many breaths she took afterwards, Rachel couldn't stop gasping. Her heart threatened to leap out of her chest from elation.

Although he pulled away, Alex didn't move. He stood as close to her as before, his own strong stance wavering just the slightest bit after the kiss. Rachel found solace in the fact that she wasn't the only one experiencing this incredible heat that seemed to send electric jolts through her entire body.

When they stopped to catch their breath, the pair locked eyes.

There was a long silence between them, but unlike the previous one, it was comfortable and warm and so familiar that Rachel almost wanted to curl up against him and never move from this spot on the porch.

Instead, she reached out and bravely clasped his hand, watching in quaint fascination as their fingers threaded together, so perfectly it was is if it were meant to be.

"Why don't you come inside?" She said, her voice no louder than a whisper. But Alex heard her and let her guide him up the porch and through the front door.

_Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,  
Now I know there's nothing we cant reach,  
'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome,  
To be held in shelter_

And when she stepped inside the house and shrugged off her heels, his hands were on her hips and he was kissing her neck, telling her how much he missed her. And while Rachel had heard this all before, from a variety of men, it never sounded more honest than when it was coming out of his mouth…

BLBLBLBLB

In his haste not to back out of it, Lucas hadn't packed a single thing with him to San Francisco. However, he made sure he took the last postcard with him, appropriately one with an exaggerated illustration of the Golden Gate Bridge. He'd been saving it for when she arrived to New York but since he was actually doing this, he thought it would be the perfect time to give her the last of his collection.

Now, as he hiked up the steep hill from the flower shop, carrying what he knew was Brooke's favorite flower, an iris in one hand, and the card in the other, he'd never felt more alive and confident of himself.

After seeing her on stage, smiling and looking as breathtaking as ever, Lucas couldn't conceive of any reason why he would be afraid. He knew a long time ago he'd made the mistake of not fighting for her, of not showing her exactly how much she meant to him, and while a 3,000 mile flight seemed like a superficial way to prove to Brooke how much he loved her, Lucas knew it was only the beginning.

If Brooke agreed to be his, he vowed that he would spend the rest of his life proving to her how much he cared.

Through his reverie, something shimmering caught his eye. The sun had set a few hours before and in the dimness of the night, illuminated by the moon, Lucas spotted something on the front porch of Brooke's house.

_I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,  
Fell for the women just when I met her  
Took my sweet time when I was bitter  
Someone understands,_

At first, thinking it was her he cursed himself for not taking a cab and opting to walk from the warehouse to here, because apparently she'd beaten him there. But as he approached closer, thoughts of Brooke arriving before him seemed to fall to the back of his mind when he realized she wasn't alone.

In fact, she was currently in an embrace with someone else, some other guy.

Seeing this, Lucas found himself rooted to the ground, unable to think coherently. His throat had closed up and he had trouble breathing.

As he watched another man's hands graze her lower back, tracing the outline of the shimmery top he remembered her wearing the night he realized he had feelings for her again, all rational thought flew out the window.

The fact that he'd seen in her in a completely different dress a few hours before and the fact that in it was pitch black outside, save for the crescent moon barely illuminating the sidewalk all escaped the blond editor as he fought the anger and confusion that threatened to consume him.

His heart continued to beat wildly and constrict in his chest and though Lucas had experienced the pain of a heart attack before, he suddenly yearned for the physical pain in his chest instead of the heartbreak he was currently experiencing.

He hadn't realized that the pair had disappeared inside the house until the door slammed loudly and he was left alone standing just a few houses down, trying to make sense of what he'd just seen. He'd been disappointed before, but it seemed like this one topped the list.

It wasn't a feeling of disappointment that got him; it was this feeling of emptiness in his chest, the dénouement that he hadn't known was coming. Hastily and somewhat in anger he advanced the steps to the house and threw the card and purple flower onto the floor, somehow hoping that when Brooke would see it, she would feel even a fraction of the pain she'd caused him.

She'd always said he had been the one to give up on them, but now it seemed that she was the one who tricked him, fooled him into believing that they could start fresh. He'd given her everything she'd wanted, let her choose the terms of their reconciliation, and what he'd witnessed tonight had not only destroyed the little hope he had of finding the happy ending for himself, but it cemented his belief that love stories, at least those from the heart, never seemed to end happily.

He was living proof of that…

A washed up writer without a second novel to his name

A failed basketball player

But most importantly, helplessly in love with a girl who had just broken his already defected heart…

_And she knows how to treat a fella right  
Give me that feeling every night  
Wants to make love when I wanna fight  
Now someone understand me_

BLBLBLBLB


	21. Chapter 21: Seeds of Uncertainty

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Spoiler: Post 5.12.

Pairing: Brooke/Lucas

Rating: M (for the rest of the chapters too)

A/N: Oh boy…so I have no excuses for not updating earlier, considering I promised myself I'd spend most of winter break finishing up this baby. Alas, life gets in the way. I've been struggling with this chapter, because it feels like the entire 20 chapters of this story are all leading up to this defining moment. I hope I didn't disappoint and that the separation paid of for everyone ;) also, as you can tell this story is not over yet, so expect some Brucas goodness and tying up of loose ends. Needless to say the waiting is over. By the way, I've wanted to use this song for this chapter since day one, so I hope you like it too. It's one of my favorites. Listen to it on Youtube!

Song: "Window in the Skies" by U2.

***

Chapter 21: Seeds of Uncertainty

***

It felt like he'd been walking for hours. Although it had only been 20 minutes, because when he finally stopped and observed his surroundings, he found himself standing in front of Pig & Whistle, an Irish pub he used to frequent quite often with Jack. The last time he'd been there, was after saying good bye to Brooke. He'd walked all the way there, nearly blinded by the early morning sun. Although the time of day had changed, as he entered the bar, his thoughts were still on the same hazel eyed girl that had plagued his dreams for the last three months.

He couldn't wrap his mind around what he'd just seen. He'd prayed silently as he walked that his eyes were betraying him, but the further he got from Brooke's house, the clearer his memory became.

He really had seen Brooke with another guy.

At one point, he had to stop and gather his thoughts, just to check that he wasn't crazy, and still his mind kept telling him that she had betrayed him, that she really did kiss that man, and that apparently the last three months had been a joke to her, a way for her to get back at him for all the times he had failed her in high school.

Swallowing back the bile rising in his throat, Lucas found an empty stool on the corner of the bar and signaled the bartender.

When he used to live in San Francisco, he was pretty much a regular, but he couldn't recognize the bartender silently waiting for his order.

Instead, he looked passed the stranger to the array of liquor displayed on the back wall, and though Lucas Scott had never been much of a drinker, he pulled out a 50 dollar bill and politely asked if he could purchase the bottle of Jack Daniels' sitting on the top shelf.

The server shrugged and went to retrieve the bottle.

Lucas settled back in his seat, closed his eyes for a moment, and a second later the bottle of whiskey appeared.

The man stood before him and handed him a low ball glass, then he tipped the bottle and began pouring, waiting for Lucas to tell him when to stop. But the blonde man's thoughts were miles away, particularly focused on the fact that despite what had just transpired, he found himself longing for the brunette even more…

***

"Do you know how sexy you look in my shirt?" He asked suggestively as soon as she stepped into the room.

"I have a vague idea." She teased, setting the bottle of wine on the dresser along with two glasses, before crawling onto the bed.

She leaned forward to straddle him as he reclined shirtless against the headboard,

"But we should definitely thank Brooke for picking out such a nice color." She said as she snaked her arms around his bare shoulders and kissed his earlobe.

"Speaking of Brooke…" His voice trailed off as his hands settled on her naked hips, right underneath the blue button down she was wearing,

"When are you going to tell her about the job offer?"

She'd been busy playing with the hair on his neck and admiring the strong outline of his naked shoulders, but when he spoke, she froze.

For whatever reason, she had been avoiding telling Brooke about the job offer she received from the modeling agency for a few weeks now. It wasn't anything really over the top, just working local events, doing a bit of modeling, but the pay was good and she saw no opportunities calling her in any other parts of the country.

Most importantly, after what seemed like years of searching, she finally felt like she'd found a home in San Francisco.

Perhaps it had something to do with the man lying beneath her, but Rachel would never willingly admit it.

"Rachel…" Alex called to her, but before Rachel could reply, they both turned their heads towards the door, when they heard a loud rustling in the living room, signaling that Brooke was home.

They stayed quite for a few moments, because they weren't sure how to proceed from here.

Sure they'd slept together and admitted that they cared for each other, but everything else was up in the air. Suddenly as their eyes met in the dimness, both realized that greeting Brooke together would force them to define their relationship and as eager as they seemed to be for each other's company just a few minutes ago, they weren't sure of the next step.

The loud crashing in the neighboring room broke eye contact and Rachel carefully slid off his lap. She found a pair of shorts in the closet and quickly buttoned up the shirt to cover her exposed cleavage, before suggesting she go see what was going on.

When she stepped out, Alex shut his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose as if he was exhausted. In truth, he'd never felt more alive and full of energy than when he was with Rachel, so he couldn't really figure out why a sudden wave of dread overcame him as she left the room.

***

Rachel found her best friend in the master bedroom, but she wasn't the first thing that caught the redhead's eye.

Instead, the large, brown suitcase spread open on her bed grabbed Rachel's attention and subsequently made her frown. She stood for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on, so many questions running through her head, not in the least of which was why Brooke was packing.

It wasn't until Brooke emerged from her walk in closet, back turned to Rachel and flung some clothes into the suitcase, which Rachel moved.

"Brooke what's going on?" She asked worriedly, but trying not to let her voice betray her fear.

"Nothing." The brunette replied, though by the hiccups in her voice and the slight tremor of her shoulder, Rachel could tell that Brooke was crying.

"Brooke, why are you packing?" Rachel asked as calmly as possible, while her best friend struggled to zip up the overstuffed suitcase.

Typical Brooke.

"I'm going to New York." Brooke replied, wiping stray tears, not even bothering to remove the mascara stains from her cheeks.

"What? Why?" Rachel asked hurriedly, "What happened since I last saw you?" She added, placing both hands on her friend's shoulder to steady her movements, in the very least to let Brooke calm down.

Brooke relented and dropped on the edge of the bed, her black and white patterned dress pooling around her.

Rachel tried not to stare, but at first glance the brunette looked worn out and sad. There was a childlike essence about her that reminded Rachel of all the porcelain dolls her mother used to give to her for every birthday until her interests turned to boys and clothing.

And although those dolls had emotionless expressions on their faces, they still reminded Rachel of Brooke, because it felt like behind their painted-on stoic faces, they were hiding pain.

It finally seemed to catch up with Brooke.

"Lucas came here." The brunette said so quietly Rachel thought she misunderstood, but when she met her eyes, she knew Brooke wasn't lying.

"Yeah, I guess it must've been after you came home, because I found this on the porch." She explained, picking up the flower from the bed and the accompanying postcard.

Rachel nodded, studying the postcard, realizing from the handwriting that it was indeed Lucas's gift.

"I didn't see anything when we..-I came home." Rachel quickly corrected herself, realizing Brooke didn't know that Alex was in the next room.

Brooke shrugged, while smelling the flower. Silence settled upon the duo, and the chaos that seemed to ensue prior to Rachel's entrance seemed hours ago.

Neither woman knew what to say, but both were thinking the same thing. If Lucas hand delivered the gift, why didn't he wait for Brooke?

"God, I've been so stupid Rachel." Brooke suddenly exclaimed, resuming her packing duties.

"Why? No you haven't."

"Yes, I fucking have. Do you not realize that there's a huge chance he didn't want to see me tonight, because he didn't want to break the promise of not seeing or talking to me for exactly three months? My stupid, goddamn deal with him backfired on me. He came here Rachel!" Brooke exclaimed, hands shaking as she cursed the malfunctioning zipper.

"Yes he did Brooke, but you're not stupid and this won't change anything between you guys, if anything, it reaffirms what we both already know." Rachel placed a calming hand on her friend's wrist, while Brooke looked at her expectedly,

"The boy is crazy about you and he's willing to wait for you and comply with all your crazy demands. If that's not love…" Rachel's voice trailed off but Brooke shook her head wildly.

"Don't say that to me Rach, don't, because what if I screwed it up. What if it doesn't work out, god…"

Violent sobs raked her body to the point that Rachel feared that a nervous breakdown was quickly approaching, so she did the only thing she could. She pulled Brooke into a tight hug and began rubbing soothing circles on her back as the brunette cried.

It seemed like the past three months filled with frustration, fear, and insecurity all came spilling out through her tears. Rachel comforted her for a few more minutes as Brooke murmured nonsensically into her friend's shoulder.

After what seemed like hours, Rachel pulled Brooke off her shoulder and brushed a few strands of hair from Brooke's eyes, "I'm scared Rachel." Brooke whispered, completely responsive to Rachel's mothering.

It made Rachel resent Brooke's parents even more than she already did. Her best friend spent the majority of her adolescent life starved for love and her mother never even gave a shit.

"I know you are honey, but you're going to go get your guy okay?" Rachel asked softly, trying to coax a smile out of her best friend.

"But what if he doesn't want anything to do with me?" Brooke asked somewhat naively and if she hadn't been crying, Rachel probably would have rolled her eyes.

Instead she settled for an incredulous look that made Brooke smile,

"If he doesn't, then it's his loss." Rachel replied, though judging by the look of approaching calm on Brooke's face, the brunette highly doubted that Lucas would ever break ties with her.

There was another moment of silence as Brooke quietly thanked Rachel for her support and unwavering friendship. Rachel waved her off but after everything they'd gone through in the last few months, never mind how many times Brooke had to pull Rachel out of dark places, the redhead was relieved to know that Brooke still valued her friendship just as much.

But the calm ended abruptly as Brooke jumped up from the bed and declared that she needed to get on a plane as soon as possible and make it to New York.

The idea that Lucas wasn't going to welcome her with open arms was quickly forgotten in favor of the idea that she wouldn't be able to get a flight out as soon as possible.

Having survived one emotional crisis, Rachel instantly reached for the laptop on Brooke's nightstand, determined to book the brunette the earliest flight out, when a voice broke through the room,

"So I hear you need to get to New York as soon as possible?"

Both women whipped around to find a shirtless European leaning against the doorway, fiddling with his phone.

Brooke stopped struggling with her suitcase to send Rachel a raised eyebrow, but Rachel merely shrugged and ducked her head.

"Yeah." Brooke replied, "I need to be in New York by morning."

"Well then you're in luck, because I was supposed to leave on business tomorrow, so my private jet is on stand by. I just need to make a phone call and you'll be in the air in half an hour."

"Alex you really don't-…"

"Consider it my thank you for picking out that shirt." Alex interrupted Brooke and at first she couldn't understand what she was referring to, but then she studied Rachel's embarrassed expression and feeble attempt at concealing her attire and all the pieces fell into place.

"I'm going to go make that call now." Alex said and stepped out of the room, while Brooke gently snorted,

"No wonder you didn't notice Lucas stopping by." She teased and Rachel unscrambled off the bed, "You okay by yourself?" she asked, and Brooke nodded, "Okay then, I'll be right back."

Alex barely made it into the living room until Rachel called out his name and when he turned around, jumped into his arms. Thankfully he caught her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him into a kiss. Alex gave into her embrace, wrapping one arm around her waist and the other under her thighs to support her.

Eventually they pulled back, staring into each other's eyes, all other things forgotten.

"What was that for?" He asked breathlessly, his accent ripping through the phrase.

"Because even though it's entirely too soon, I think I love you and what you're doing for Brooke is incredible generous, which tells me that my instinct was right about you."

Rachel felt the wind knocked out of her as the words left her mouth.

In all her 27 yrs on earth, she'd never been so honest about her feelings before and she hadn't even thought it through. She was usually a very confident woman but at that moment, as Alex stared at her, with an unreadable expression on his face, she experienced her first bode of insecurity since kicking heroin.

She almost wanted to break free of his hold, but when he leaned in and brushed a featherlike kiss on her neck, a sense of calm suddenly filled her and instead of breaking apart, she pulled him in for another kiss.

They stayed like that for a while, before Brooke's shuffling reminded him of the time crunch and Alex let her down softly, but before she could turn around, He pulled her flush against him and whispered in her ear,

"It's never too soon, and I love you too."

***

"Momma…momma…momma wake up. It's Aunt Lindsay and she sounds worried."

Despite his father's many warnings not to wake up his mom especially while she was pregnant, Jamie stood at the side of his parents' bed with a cordless in his hand, the other lightly tapping Haley on her shoulder.

"Jamie what did I tell you about-…" Nathan whispered to his son from the other side of the bed, while his wife lightly snored, blissfully ignorant of the attempts to wake her up.

"I know dad, but it's Lindsay and she sounds really worried, she said something about Uncle Luke but I didn't really get it."

Nathan rolled over then, extending his hand to grab the cordless from his son, before his wife woke up and made him run to the store for more Cheetos and sour cream.

At this point, he wasn't at all surprised that she could sleep through anything, but just in case, he motioned Jamie to the doorway and rolled out of bed himself.

"Lindsay, hey you do realize it's like 4 in the morning, what's-…"

"Nathan I'm really sorry I didn't know who else to call, I think I did something really stupid."

Nathan was suddenly alarmed at the frantic tone the usually calm editor had,

"What happened? Jamie said something about Lucas?"

"Yah, well you see it's a really long story but basically I used the company credit card and bought him a ticket to San Francisco, thinking he and Brooke could reconcile and he could get his inspiration back. But he just called me a few minutes ago and he was drunk and he told me how there's no happy ending and just I'm really worried, because he seemed really upset. I know Lucas isn't bound to do anything stupid but you never know and god, then I thought Haley-…"

"Lindsay calm down. First of all, are you sure he went to San Francisco?"

"Yes, he sent me a text last night, saying he was on a plane. God Nathan I screwed up-…"

"No, you didn't. Calm down."

"I can't Nathan. You didn't hear him, he just seemed so depressed and it's my fault-…"

"It's not. Look, don't worry about anything, I'm going to try to get in touch with him, just get some sleep."

"Okay, but can you let him know I'm sorry? I tried to call him, but his phone is off."

"Damn it." Nathan cursed under his breath, careful to whisper for his son's benefit.

"I'll keep trying. I'm sorry I woke you up Nate."

"It's okay Linds, just get some sleep."

They quickly exchanged good byes and hung up.

When Nathan clicked the cordless off, Jamie asked anxiously,

"Everything okay dad?"

"I'm not sure. It seems like Uncle Lucas has gone AWOL."

"Gone what?" Jamie asked, cocking an eyebrow confusedly.

Nathan looked up then, a smile gracing his features at his son's innocence.

"Never mind kid. Go back to bed; I'm going to call your uncle."

"Alright." Jamie shrugged, the early morning hours catching up to him as he rubbed his eyes and turned to walk down to his bedroom.

Just as Nathan leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes for a moment of reprieve before dialing Lucas's number, the phone once again rang. He instantly answered, afraid that Haley would wake up.

"Hello."

"Hello, Mr. Scott, this is Michael from the front desk. I apologize for such an early morning call, but there is a visitor here for you who is adamant about speaking with either you or Mrs. Scott."

Nathan didn't even have time to wonder about whom it was that was so eager to see him,

"It's alright. May I ask who's there?"

"Its Brooke Davis sir, she says she's an old friend from home."

Nathan almost laughed out loud at the irony of the situation, but he didn't, instead he sighed and let out a small chuckle, "Yah, bring her up here and Michael."

"Yes sir?"

"Please have room service bring up some strong coffee."

"No problem sir."

The concierge hung up and Nathan clicked off the phone.

He had exactly three minutes until Brooke Davis showed up at his front door and for the first time in a long time he wasn't sure what he would say to her…

***

Shortly before what Lucas assumed was the bar's closing time, he was shaken awake by the bartender.

"Time to go buddy." The man in the black uniform called to the half asleep blonde, but Lucas couldn't even form a sentence let alone ask the gentleman to call him a cab.

Call it intuition or just a job hazard, but twenty minutes later Lucas was being placed into the back of a yellow cab with directions to the nearest motel. The cab driver didn't bother even looking at his passenger, and Lucas appreciated the privacy as he fiddled around with his cell phone.

He looked at the call list and was surprised to see how many missed calls he had from not only Lindsay, but Nathan too. There must've been at least five calls from each person and for a split second Lucas wondered why they'd be calling him so frantically. A few panicked ideas ran through his mind, starting with Haley and Jaime's health and ending with something being wrong at the publishing house, but it was only when he surveyed the outgoing calls that he realized he had phoned Lindsay sometime during his drunk stupor. Bits and pieces of the conversation sent a chill down his spine.

Lucas groaned out loud when he remembered how harsh he had been with his ex-fiance, unfairly accusing her of sending him to San Francisco for an ulterior motive, only interested in the book becoming successful and not his feelings.

That was beyond untrue, considering that in the recent months Lindsay had been his only true source of optimism outside of himself and suddenly Lucas felt like the biggest scum in the world.

It was obvious that he and Brooke were finished, but that didn't mean he had to shoot to hell every other person who ever gave a damn about him, especially people like Lindsay.

All of the sudden, Lucas felt the alcohol's effects disappear, his mind becoming clearer than it had been in days. So without thinking further, he leaned over and told the cab driver that they had a change of destination.

He was going back to New York.

***

The second he stepped into the mid afternoon sun, Lucas thought back to a conversation he had with his mom after he visited New York for the first time. He'd told her that the city even smelled differently. She'd laughed of course, basing his keen observation on excitement. But even now at 27 years old and having traversed most of the country, Lucas still held on to his belief that there was no city like New York and that yes…it smelled differently.

It permeated hope and promise.

It was the one moment of reprieve he allowed himself before he hailed a cab and gave directions to his apartment. At first, he planned on going straight to Raven Publication, apologizing to Lindsay and trying to find a suitable book ending, but after the countless shots and six hour plane ride, Lucas didn't think he'd come close enough to apologize to Lindsay without her fainting from his smell.

He wisely figured that he'd make more of an impression if he'd at least showered and changed.

Having decided on that, for the rest of the cab ride into the city, Lucas let his mind relax like he couldn't for the last 24 hours. It felt so strange to be back in New York, a place that he left feeling anxious but optimistic just a day ago.

He couldn't believe that everything had changed so quickly. He hadn't let himself think about Brooke since leaving Pig & Whistle the night before, but his mind just wouldn't cooperate. All he could think or picture every time he closed his eyes was the embrace he witnessed on her doorstep.

Lucas could truly say that was one of the lowest points in his life, and he'd had his fair share.

The scariest aspect of it all was the possibility that this was final; that her betrayal was the ultimate end to their relationship, and he really didn't know how to deal with it.

He rolled the window down in an attempt to get some fresh air to clear his head, but the smog of the inner city assaulted his nostrils and he was forced to breathe through his mouth. New York definitely smelled different, but right now it was suffocating him.

Lucas smiled to himself as he recognized the tip of his brownstone, but looking past it, he didn't really know what to think as he realized the billboard of C/B had been replaced with a Victoria Secret advertisement.

At first he was a little disappointed, but as the cab pulled up and he stepped out to the New York pavement, Lucas realized that perhaps the best way to get over Brooke Davis was to completely erase every part of her from his life…

***

_The shackles are undone  
The bullets quit the gun_

The apartment was dark when he stepped in, the curtains drawn from the previous night when he hastily made his exit. He was so set on taking a shower; he missed the carry on perched on the side of his front door.

It wasn't until he entered his bedroom and pushed the curtains open that his breath hitched ever so slightly and he blinked twice to make sure he wasn't imagining the sleeping form on his bed.

He couldn't even move from his place by the window, just stood and watch her, as her chest rose up and down with every breath and the cool breeze from the newly ajar window played with the loose curls framing her face.

And as he stood and watched her, Lucas realized that he wasn't thinking about how much she'd hurt him or the reason why she was there.

He was just soaking in her appearance, her unexpected arrival, her beauty, everything he had so painfully missed for three months and years before that. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to curse and scream and throw things, just to make the painful ache of betrayal fade away, but despite all those omnipresent emotions, the one lingering in the front was how much he goddamn missed her.

And once again, just with her presence, Brooke managed to make the ache go away temporarily, so Lucas found himself sitting down besides her and resisting every urge to touch her.

His fingers itched to run themselves over the smooth skin of her bare arm and the exposed calf. He wanted to undo the side zipper of her designer dress and kiss the place where her tattoo resided.

But when he looked up at her face, he remembered why he'd fled from her porch the night before in the first place and all those feelings of love disappeared, replaced by the anguish he fought so hard for most of his inebriation and plane ride home.

_The heat that's in the sun  
Will keep us when there's none_

Rubbing his eyes in exhaustion, Lucas hadn't realized how tired he really was, and he wished to god he could just lie down right here next to her, hold her, and not worry about a thing; but he couldn't.

He couldn't, because he knew it wasn't real anymore, because it didn't matter if she had flown 3,000 miles to see him. She had kissed someone else, she had betrayed him and yes he wasn't stupid.

He knew he'd hurt her this way in the past, but this was why it was twice as painful to watch her inflict a taste of his own medicine on him. Because Brooke of all people knew how deep the hurt went with something like that, and she did it anyway.

Looking at her now, Lucas felt like he was seeing her for the first time and she seemed like a stranger to him, so he did the only thing he could, he asked her why she had come.

He wasn't expecting an answer, he wasn't even directly addressing her, and at the first flutter of her eyelashes against her cheeks, he sprung from the bed and tried to make as little noise as possible, because he was suddenly afraid of facing her.

It was just so much easier to hate Brooke when she was unconscious.

"Lucas?" Her raspy voice broke through the silence in the room but Lucas refused to turn around, facing away from her, his hands pressed on the dresser.

"I asked you a question." He responded, his voice thick and cold, hoping to translate to the brunette how he was feeling.

"What did you ask, I was asleep. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just show up like this, but I got a spare key from Nathan and I thought I could wait here for you."

Lucas didn't really process anything she said, instead he continued on, "I asked why you came here."

It was his tone of voice that led Brooke onto the change in the air. It was as if her worst fear was suddenly coming true and she forgot about everything she was going to say, because the first seeds of uncertainty were sown and she couldn't shake the unease she felt.

_The rule has been disproved  
The stone it has been moved_

"I came." She said hoarsely at first, but then cleared her voice, "because I got your card and flower and I know you came to see me. But you left before you could and I wanted to know why." She explained rationally, despite the knot of doubt forming in her stomach.

Something about this was deathly wrong. This was not how their first meeting after three months was supposed to go and Brooke was beginning to think she was right for having misgivings about it.

He'd obviously come back to San Francisco, but changed his mind. He didn't feel the same anymore.

She just needed to know why.

"That's where you're wrong Brooke. I did see you." He smirked, almost to himself, "I saw you but you were a bit preoccupied, so don't blame me if I decided not to stick around."

He snapped and Brooke's eyes widened in confusion. She looked absolutely bewildered, as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Lucas, I really don't know what you're talking about, so if you would-…"

"I saw you on your porch Brooke, don't be stupid."

It was the way he said her name that sent chills down her spine and not in the way it would when they were together. Instead, it felt like he was accusing her of something just by acknowledging her name.

It was then that Brooke no longer felt comfortable lying on his bed, her dress sprawled around her so casually. So she carefully stood up, slipping her feet into the semi unconventional heels she'd grabbed last night but instead of coming closer to him, she kept her distance.

"I wasn't on my porch for more than five minutes, it's when I came home from the fashion show and found the stuff you left scattered there that I realized you'd been at my house. I had no idea otherwise."

By that point, all trace of her excitement was gone, replaced by a stone cold exterior that Lucas was familiar with in the first two years of high school.

"Don't be like that Brooke. Don't *lie* to me. I saw you kissing that guy on your porch, I also saw you disappear inside with him, and I knew it was you, because of the top you were wearing. It was the same silver glittery thing you wore to the club that night before I left. So don't hide behind your lies anymore, I know what you did."

And despite wanting to say those words to her for over a day now, Lucas did not feel relieved. Instead, seeing the distraught expression on her face only worsened the pain he had been suppressing for so long.

_The grave is now a groove  
All debts are removed_

It was hard to read her after the initial shock of his words wore off, and he waited for a few seconds before the silence became unbearable.

"What are you speechless now?" He retorted, if only to fill the room with something other than insurmountable tension.

She took two steps towards him, and because he was leaning against the dresser he did not move. If he was honest with himself, he didn't think he'd want to, because despite everything that had so drastically changed in the last 24 hours, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, kiss her hard.

"I can't believe you." She whispered and slapped him straight across the face. His head snapped up, shocked at such a callous reaction when it was her that was in the wrong, but before he could even say anything, she was gone, heels clicking against the floor in his living room.

He stood for a few seconds, rubbing his cheek before deciding that she wouldn't be allowed to make a fool of him without an explanation. Therefore, he chased her into the living room and grabbed her arm before she could wheel her suitcase into the hallway.

"Brooke wait, what did you mean by that?"

"Let me go." She said, louder than intended but Lucas refused to listen to her and ushered her inside, before closing the front door,

"No, you're going to stay and explain to me why the fuck I get slapped when you're the one who kissed someone else!"

"I kissed someone else? Are you fucking dense Lucas? Did you even bother to think that perhaps there's someone else who lives in that house besides me? Someone else who has a fucking boyfriend who she was kissing on my goddamn doorstep, wearing my top? You didn't bother to make sure that when you make such accusations they're valid." Brooke exclaimed, and when Lucas had nothing to say, she shoved him away before turning around.

Her hand was on the door handle again, but she couldn't leave without telling him how she truly felt,

"You know, I just can't believe that after everything. Not just these last few months, but the last ten years, you would ever think I'd do anything like that to you ever again?"

She didn't turn around to face him, her knuckles turning white against the pressure of the door handle, as she tried to control the tears that blurred her vision. Not only did Lucas not want her anymore, but he didn't want her, because of a misunderstanding.

Well, she was still Brooke Davis and she would still survive, just like she had for the last 27 years.

_Oh can't you see what our love has done  
Oh can't you see what our love has done  
Oh can't you see what our love has done  
What it's doing to me_

"So it wasn't you then? It was Rachel?" Lucas finally managed to choke out, still not really understanding the consequence of his faulty accusation.

It made her even angrier that he had to confirm what she'd already told him.

"That doesn't even warrant a response. Good bye Lucas."

But before she could step out, he grabbed and pulled her closer. There was no move towards a kiss, Lucas just held her against his body and tried to lock eyes with her. After a while Brooke stopped struggling against him.

She realized she had no energy to fight him, no strength left in her to oppose him, to argue about his mistakes or false perceptions.

The only thing she wanted was to curl up against him and fall apart. The exhaustion of the last few weeks was only now seeping through her tough exterior and when the first strangled sob escaped Lucas held her closer, tighter, and said the only thing he could at the moment,

"I'm sorry Brooke."

For an instant it felt like it used.

Them together, both physically and emotionally, and him finally saving her, being there for her, like he always promised and never did.

And if only for a few minutes, Brooke could pretend that he wasn't the reason why she was crying in the first place and that he wasn't trying to save her from him. Unfortunately that fantasy couldn't overshadow the pain of his accusation and she pushed herself away from him when Lucas least expected it.

"No, Lucas, don't be fucking sorry." The fiery brunette exclaimed, placing her arms against him, perhaps in some vain attempt to emotionally protect herself.

"But I am Brooke. I'm sorry."

"NO! No you're not. If you were fucking sorry you would…you would-…"

"I would what? I would wish I never made any accusations? I would wish I could take back my actions? I would what-…"

"No, you can't fucking take it back Luke. After everything, you really thought I could do that?" she asked, her voice suddenly much quieter, creating an eerie silence in the room.

They both only realized how loudly they were speaking when their voices almost left an echo.

"You've done it before." He whispered and he swore he'd almost seen the flash of red in her hazel eyes.

_Love makes strange enemies  
Makes love where love may please_

"Don't you fucking dare bring up high school." Brooke seethed, not really sure whether she wanted to punch him or just leave.

"Why not? It's at the tip of your tongue isn't it? Tell me you don't want to remind me about how I'm the one who shouldn't be so hurt by all this, because I've actually done it to you before. Tell me Brooke. Tell me you don't expect me to fuck up and that's why you were so afraid of staying in touch with me while I was in New York. Tell me and I'll leave you alone." He said, hands balled into fists already at the prospect of losing her.

Now that he knew he'd been wrong, a part of him, no matter how small, was rejoicing at the idea that she had stayed faithful and waited for him like he'd waited for her.

This wasn't over.

"I can't say that I haven't thought about it." Brooke said quietly, surprised by her own honesty.

"Well then…" Lucas's voice trailed off into the silence, "Why don't you tell me what we're going to do about this?"

"What we're going to do about it?" Brooke repeated incredulously, "_We're_ not going to do anything. I'm leaving, I'll get a hotel for the night, and maybe we'll talk tomorrow, if there's really anything left to say."

She spat that last part out in true Brooke Davis fashion and for the third time that hour she made her way to the front door, except this time Lucas didn't even move to block her way, he just spoke,

"You're not going anywhere."

Brooke almost laughed at his vain attempt at exercising authority. She was Brooke fucking Davis and she wouldn't be told what to do, even by Lucas Scott, "Yes, I am, what are you going to do? Force me to stay?"

She smirked, but the light pull on her wrist froze her in place,

"Maybe I will." He murmured. Gone was the tough exterior and overly fake commanding voice. His grasp on her wrist was light yet so stern, she felt seduced into his wishes.

"Oh yeah." She muttered under her breath as she felt him take a step closer, his chest almost pressing into her back, "How are you going to do that Luke?" She asked almost mockingly,

"Like this." Lucas responded and quickly turned her around, only to cover his mouth with hers, effectively silencing further protests from the brunette.

_The soul and its striptease  
Hate brought to its knees_

The front door, which she had left ajar on her last attempt to escape his apartment, suddenly slammed shut as he pressed her body against it, his lips continuously claiming her mouth as his hands possessively grasped her sides, feeling her through the cotton of her dress.

Brooke felt herself relax into his arms only slightly. Although his lips were familiar and so good and everything she had fantasized about for months, the cold wood of the door biting into her skin and the unnaturally possessive way he held her in his arms reminded her that this was his desperate attempt to hold on to her. She wanted to push him off, in fact she was intending to do so any minute, but she couldn't will herself to make the effort.

His mouth was spreading fire through her entire body and with every touch of their lips and every flick of his tongue, his possessiveness and aggression melted away, replaced by the soft, meticulous movements that defined Lucas as a lover.

He was always gentle, she mused, even as his lips descended down her neck, leaving not so subtle bite marks on her throat. A moan so luscious escaped Brooke's lips, Lucas thought he might literally exploded right then and there, and he couldn't let this end so quickly.

He'd waited for months, even years if he was honest with himself, and this was not ending in the living room against his front door.

At the thought, he quickly lifted her in his arms, marveling at the lightness of her body as she wrapped her long legs around his waist. They both momentarily stopped kissing as the delicious press of their bodies alerted both to the presence of his arousal.

If possible, Brooke felt herself get wetter.

_The sky over our head  
We can reach it from our bed_

Her sling backs quickly fell off her feet as he guided her to the couch, dropping her unceremoniously unto the plush leather. Brooke tried to catch her breath, but it seemed impossible to make up for the lack of air supply, and she didn't care, because pretty soon she felt a warm kiss on her calf and her other leg being gently guided over Lucas's shoulder.

By the time she realized what he had planned, she neither cared about the impropriety of their actions, nor about how uncomfortable Lucas must be on his knees against the couch; because the sweet press of his lips against her inner thigh and his nimble fingers familiarizing him with her body again reminded her of one fact and one fact only.

They were together again, and this time there really seemed to be no reason to run.

***

_You let me in your heart  
And out of my head_

The first flick of his tongue against her sent a ripple of pleasure so intense through Brooke's body; she let out a moan that threatened to undo Lucas on the spot.

Except all it did was encouraged him further. He pressed his tongue further inside her, his palms finding their place against the back of her thighs.

Brooke arched against him, pushing his face closer between her legs, so deliriously overcome with passion that nothing but Lucas's tongue, lips, and hands seemed to matter.

It was only when his thumb brushed teasingly against her clit that she realized she was so close to coming, too close, and all of the sudden the release didn't matter if Lucas was not right there with her.

"Luke." She whispered, her raspy voice sending chills down his spine, only pushing him to continue.

Brooke unclenched the couch and buried one hand in his unruly blond hair. Exercising the tiniest amount of self control, Brooke lifted his head lightly from under her dress and slid her legs from his shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He whispered and as he leaned closer, Brooke thought she might faint from the sheer intoxication of smelling herself on his lips.

Perhaps it was that moment of bravery that caused her to lean up and kiss him, "Mmm." She moaned into his mouth and when she pulled back, licked her own lips, "You taste good."

The sexual innuendo made his jeans tighter if possible, and Lucas pulled her closer to him, kissing her with a passion he'd withheld thus far.

Brooke wrapped her arms around him eagerly, pulling him on top of her on the couch, tugging on his belt buckle.

Lucas didn't waste anytime, laying her gently against the pillows and reaching for the side zipper of her two toned dress.

The entire time they held eye contact and Lucas had to smile, because it felt normal again. It felt like it used to. It felt like they were about to make love after a basketball game or another party at Bevin's house, or even after one of their quiet nights at home where he would read and she would doodle.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He said with such earnestness Brooke pulled him even closer, successfully divesting him of his jeans and t-shirt.

_I know I hurt you and I made you cry  
Did everything but murder you and I_

"Just touch me Lucas." Brooke replied, her eyes fluttering close as his hand pulled her dress down her waist and undid her bra clasp, "I just want you closer." She whispered, sucking in her breath when she felt him posed at her entrance.

"I'm here Brooke."

Lucas nuzzled her neck and with painful slowness slid himself into her wetness, keeping one hand on her lower back and the other circling her breast.

They stayed frozen as one for some moments, trying to comprehend the feeling of melting into each other, feeling the hot press of skin where it had previously been cold and longing.

"I'm not going anywhere pretty girl." Lucas whispered, his hands cradling her head, "And neither are you." He added.

Brooke leaned up to kiss him in response and arched up to meet his stilled form. His eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure as she moved around him. Her movements were lithe and fluid like a snake, arching her back as her core tightened around him.

"Lucas." Her heavy breathing pulled him out of his trance, and when he locked eyes with her again, he began moving steadily against her, matching each thrust, each gasp, and each kiss perfectly.

The familiarity and warmth surrounding him almost overwhelmed him but Lucas held on, determined to see Brooke reach her peak despite his own quickly approaching.

"Don't stop Luke, please…"

The standard plea seemed exotic when emanating from her lips. he wrapped his arm around her lower back, thrusting at an angle that made her eyes fly open and made her bite her lip to keep from screaming.

Lucas took pleasure in her muffled cries, reveling in the sensations he was creating in her.

Brushing some stray hairs from her forehead, he leaned in and whispered,

"You can scream baby, I'm right here."

His admission made Brooke violently shake with her approaching orgasm. Her body seemed to be controlled by an unseen force as she wrapped herself tighter around Lucas, hoping to relieve some of the building tension.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to remember why she'd wanted to run from him in the first place, why she would ever want to be anywhere but with this man, kissing him, touching him, making love to him.

She felt like despite her running from New York for almost a year now, because of the painful memories that haunted her here, Brooke never felt safer or more loved than with Lucas on top of her, holding her aroused body as close to his as possible, while his hands brought her to the peak teasingly, sensually, without reprieve.

It was then that she pulled his head from its place in the crook of her neck and ran her fingers over his strong jaw line. Their movements didn't still, in fact their coupling had become faster, more aggressive, and closer to completion, but time seemed to stand still as Brooke caressed his face and searched his eyes.

"You're right baby." She whispered, between kisses, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm done running, I just want you."

And those words never sounded sweeter to his ears than they did now. Although he had yet to learn what Brooke had been running from, Lucas only registered her admittance of her desire for him and it felt as if he not only found his physical release, but an emotional one as well.

Lucas leaned in and through the frenzy of them moving in synonymy they hit their peak together, he murmured his I love yous, and held her impossibly closer as Brooke said them back…

_But love left a window in the skies  
And to love I rhapsodize_

***


	22. Chapter 22: More Than It Seems

**Surfaces**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Spoiler: Post 5.12.

Pairing: Brooke/Lucas

A/N: Second to last chapter!!! (if I don't jinx myself the final chapter should be posted up by the end of this month). Thank you guys so much for reviewing constantly. Also to those of you who have added me to their favorites and alert lists. It just makes me so happy and motivated to know people are reading my stuff. Thank you so much again!! Enjoy…

Song: "Just like a star" by Corinne Bailey Rae

***

Chapter 22: More Than It Seems

***

_Just like a star across my sky,  
Just like an angel off the page,  
You have appeared to my life,  
Feel like I'll never be the same_

The warm August wind blew softly into the open window and bathed Brooke's body in a pleasant breeze. With Lucas slumbering gently beside her, probably exhausted from the day's events and a massive hangover, Brooke should have been asleep, instead she was lying wide awake in the darkness, staring out into the premature moonlight.

The clock read 8:30pm, and she couldn't help but reflect on the whirlwind of events that had taken her from missing Lucas to lying right beside him. She shut her eyes for a moment, for the first time since arriving; she finally seemed to understand exactly where she was.

She was back in _New York._

She was back to the place she'd run from for over six months.

Feeling the weight of the realization sink heavily on her, Brooke rolled over and chose to study Lucas's face, happy for the distraction.

In the dimness, she could still see how peaceful he looked. Even with closed eyes, she could tell this was the least stressful Lucas had been for a while. From what Nathan could briefly tell her that morning, his brother had been a walking mummy for the last three months.

When Nathan told her that, she immediately felt guilty. It was her idea to spend that time apart in the first place. But Lucas's hasty behavior in San Francisco confirmed her fears that they might not be ready for a fully committed relationship.

Despite the rampant need to be with him, and falling into his arms with little resistance a few hours before, Brooke still had her doubts. She loved Lucas and she knew the feeling was clearly reciprocated, but she'd learned very early on, especially where Lucas was involved, that sometimes love was not enough.

Sometimes love yielded to circumstance and looking over at him now, Brooke tried to ignore the uneasy feeling rising in the bit of her stomach.

There was still an inkling of mistrust between them and Brooke didn't know what to think; she didn't know how to fix it and move on, how to move on from their past.

If they ever really could.

If they could ever truly be what she envisioned for them, instead of always revering back to their old habits of hurting each other.

Closing her eyes, Brooke tried to catch her breath but the damage was done. The tears leaked out without reprieve, staining the pillow beneath her and rushing heat to her cheeks quicker than she could control it. She turned to look at Lucas once again and tried to stop shaking from the sobs overtaking her body.

She felt a myriad of emotions that seemed to overwhelm her instead of clarifying how she was feeling and what she should be doing.

Hours ago it felt so right to be with him, to kiss him, hold him, tell him she loved him, but now it all seemed to fade as reality set in and she understood for the first time in 24 hours that, because of their complicated history, instead of staying to confront her, Lucas ran because he thought she'd failed him

Perhaps that stung worse than anything and as much as she wanted to be angry at him, she couldn't blame him, because if the situation had been reversed, she would've done the same.

And for that, there was no one left to blame.

***

_Just like a song in my heart,  
Just like oil on my hands,  
Honour to love you_

Lucas woke up to the rumblings of his stomach. He rubbed an arm over his eyes, and found the bed empty.

Taking a deep breath, he listened for the sounds of a shower or movement in the other rooms, anything to signify that Brooke was still in the house. When he heard nothing, he got out of bed, fighting a killer headache and after putting on a pair of boxers, made his way through the dark apartment.

At first when he saw her figure curled up on the couch in the living room, a blanket wrapped around her and a mug in her hands, Lucas breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't left, but when he saw the forlorn look in her eye and the trace of mascara on her cheeks, he frowned.

"You were afraid I'd left huh." Her raspy voice penetrated the silence and Lucas swallowed, but couldn't lie to her, so he averted the question,

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Brooke let out a small chuckle, but Lucas wasn't laughing. This situation was a cold déjà vu of the many times he and Brooke had broken up or let each other go, and this time he wasn't taking the same chances.

"Brooke, you're kind of scaring me." He admitted, taking a step closer to the couch and sitting down besides her.

"It shouldn't be like this Lucas. We shouldn't be so afraid of losing each other. We should be able to trust each other." She explained and despite her hand yearning to grasp his, she remained stoic, afraid that if she touched him, all the thoughts swirling in her head would evaporate.

"I trust you Brooke." Lucas whispered, desperate to get through to her, but Brooke turned her head, curls bouncing after her,

"Do you Luke, because you didn't trust me enough last night, not to run away and confront the situation-…"

"Brooke, I was irrational and acting purely emotionally. I hadn't seen you in three month-…"

"So now it's my fault?" Brooke exclaimed a bit prematurely, but Lucas was quick to correct her,

"No, by no means was it your fault. I know I screwed up okay. I know that, but this is not going to be another reason for you to turn away from me. I let you leave five years ago without an explanation and I gave you three months despite it killing me-…"

"You think it was easy for me?" Brooke interrupted, already off the couch.

"No, would you just let me finish?" Lucas shot back, standing up as well, feeling an irrational fear coming over him that he was about to lose her,

"Look, I respected your decision for this break and you knew I didn't agree with it. Now I think it might've been a good thing and I'm sorry, god I am so fucking sorry for being the coward that I was and running away without figuring out that it wasn't you on that porch. But Brooke, I let you go last time and I refuse to do that this time.

I need you in my life and I know you need me in yours, because if you didn't you would have left. Hell, you probably wouldn't have come down to New York in the first place. So please Brooke, I know this is probably asking too much but I wouldn't if I didn't think you wanted me as much as I want you. Give us another chance. Don't run this time."

"I do need you Luke. I do but some much has happened."

_Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,_

Wrapping her arms around her, Brooke fought the onslaught of tears that threatened to shake her again. This time however it felt good to let it out. It felt good to share her fears about this relationship with the only person who could truly understand her.

"So what?" Lucas pressed on, stepping closer to her, almost touching her but still not sure if she wanted him to,

"You were the one who said people who are meant to be together always find their-…"

"I know what I said Lucas. But I was young and naïve and incredibly stupid about relationships-…"

"Well I don't believe that." Lucas exclaimed.

His voice was so deeply laced with conviction that Brooke felt a lump form in her throat, "I can't believe that." He whispered, this time wrapping his arms around her and tilting her face up to his, "those words kept me going since the last time I kissed you. I spent years searching for a semblance of mind, but, I always knew there was a purpose for me. I knew that the bit of hope I had for love kept me alive and kicking and I just refuse to believe that-…"

Lucas was cut off when Brooke threw her arms around him and pulled him into a deep kiss. He didn't hesitate in reciprocating, plunging his tongue deep inside the crevice of her mouth, tasting her as if for the first time.

Before it could escalate however, Brooke pulled back and couldn't stop smiling at the goofy and dazed look on Lucas's face,

"There're just so many of these romantic speeches that I can take from you broody." She replied in her defense and Lucas chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck in the cute way that had Brooke feeling nostalgic.

"Does that mean you believe me?" He asked quietly. Though he was hopeful, Brooke could feel the onset of defeat creep into his voice and she felt a slight twinge of fear that he was giving up.

"I do." Brooke nodded, "I do believe you when you say my words kept you alive, because god knows there wasn't a night that I didn't go to bed with Ravens on my nightstand; but Lucas, what if we can't get away from our past? What if our history is too much? I mean it's already interfering and we haven't even been together for more than a day."

"Brooke, the only thing interfering so far is my hastiness. If I had only stayed, this would've turned out very differently and I'm deeply regretful of that; and our past, it might come up every once in a while, but it doesn't have to define who we are now. I need you to believe in that Brooke. I really do."

There was an eerie silence in the room when Lucas quieted down, his words disappearing into the darkness as Brooke stood mutely before him.

"Brooke…" His voice trailed off dejectedly and he walked over to the couch, dropping his head down.

_We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,_

"You told me to fight for you in high school and I never did. Then when you needed me most, I comforted you in a completely inappropriate way and let you leave without a good bye. Then when I finally had you, I consented with your decision to spend some time apart. It might not seem like it now, but in my own way, I fought for you every time I fought the urge to call you these past few months, every time I saw a movie that reminded me of you and reached for the phone and every time I came outside and saw that huge fucking billboard advertising your clothes. In my mind I was fighting for you every step of the way, so I need you to let me prove that to you, because if you don't, then I just…I don't know what will happen."

Lucas didn't dare meet her eyes, afraid of the emptiness he'd see there. He was also incredibly exhausted from all the talking he was doing. Despite having screwed up by running away the night before, his pride was finding it hard to understand why he had to be the one pushing, while Brooke seemed so intent on pulling away.

He was so consumed with self pity, he didn't feel the couch dip besides him, or fully register the soft hands that wrapped around his shoulders, until he heard Brooke speak barely above a whisper.

"You know when I broke up with you before Nathan and Haley's wedding so many years ago, I told you it was because I had stopped missing you." Her voice cracked slightly under the pressure of tears and Lucas grasped her hand,

"I lied. I broke up with you so you could be happy with Peyton, because I thought that's what you wanted. I know now that it wasn't the case in the long run and the truth is I never stopped missing you. I've missed you every day since, so you know what, I might not be as stable as I'd like to be, but I want to be with you. I want you to be the person I lean on and the one I tell all my secrets to. I want it all Luke."

Lucas looked up then, his own vision slightly blurred though he'd never admit it. But he could still see hazel eyes that sparked so many fantasies for him and he could still feel her warm hands on his shoulders and the heat emanating from her body. He could also see the smile that only slightly emphasized her dimples, but one that he wouldn't mind seeing for the rest of his life,

"Good, because you can have it with me." He affirmed and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you Lucas." She whispered into his neck, her raspy voice sending goose bumps down his spine,

"I love you too Brooke." He replied, although it seemed repetitive at that point.

They stayed like that for some time, just holding each other and reveling in the understanding they reached; until the almost synonymous rumbling of both their stomachs forced them apart and made them laugh.

"I guess the theory about sex making you hungry is true." Brooke teased, stretching slightly in Lucas's embrace.

His deep chuckle made her smile, "Yeah, I guess so. Would you like to work up an appetite some more or go get some grub?" He asked suggestively and Brooke gave him her sideways grin,

"Pssht, you're not that good buddy. I pick grub."

She teased but when she saw the mock hurt expression on Lucas's face, she caved,

"I'm just kidding broody. I pick sex with you any day over food…"

Lucas seemed to brighten at her comment, pulling her closer,

"Except of course this time." Brooke gave him a quick peck on the lips and then jumped up.

"Hey that's cheating." Lucas exclaimed, but the look on his face told Brooke he was only kidding,

"Maybe, but whoever said I played fair." Brooke raised her eyebrows and before she knew it, Lucas was lifting and carrying her back to his room; she wiggled and squealed in delight as he dropped her on the bed.

"_That's_ cheating." She pointed out, "You're stronger than me."

"So what?" Lucas asked, kissing her on the lips softly, before climbing off of her, and reaching for a t-shirt.

"Well in that case, I'm going to grab a shower and if you want to play dirty, you should join me." She murmured sliding off the bed and pulling on the t-shirt she borrowed from Lucas's closet in the middle of the nap.

"Sounds like a plan." Lucas replied huskily as he watched Brooke discard the old Ravens t-shirt and lead him into the bathroom.

_*** _

_You've got this look I can't describe,  
You make me feel like I'm alive,  
When everything else is au fait,  
Without a doubt you're on my side_

Later, after texting Rachel with promises to check in tomorrow, Brooke was brushing the kinks out of her semi wet curls when Lucas sidled up besides her and buried his nose in her hair,

"You smell good." He murmured, inhaling deeply,

"I smell like Old Spice body wash." She quipped back with a chuckle, a blush rising on her cheeks as she thought about the not so clean shower they'd taken earlier.

"I like you like that." He murmured, catching her eye in the bathroom mirror, "I like you here." He said softly and Brooke turned around in his arms, kissing him deeply, passionately, pouring comfort through her lips.

"I like it here too." She replied and through the moment of silence, they looked at each other again, as if fully gauging that they were together again,

"Before we go eat, do you mind stopping somewhere?" Brooke asked, making a decision to lay everything out on the table.

"Sure." Lucas nodded, a bit confused, but nonetheless complacent, "Where?"

"Just something I need to do. Something I need to do with you."

She explained and swore that she loved Lucas even more in that moment, when he didn't pry, just simply nodded and agreed.

***

_Heaven has been away too long,  
Can't find the words to write this song,  
Oh...  
Your love_

She was surprised she held on to the key for so long, but in hindsight she shouldn't have. If anything, it was evidence of her inability to let go and forget what happened here.

That key went with her everywhere and had seen everything she had since leaving New York.

Now, as she fumbled with the lock, Lucas stood behind her scratching his head but patiently not asking any questions. She got the door open and stepped into the dark place, finding it quite ironic that the clean up crew had removed everything except the defunct security system box.

She felt for the lights, and a small florescent one barely turned on, illuminating only parts of the barren space but enough to send sharp flashbacks racing through her mind.

She shut her eyes, trying to compose herself before Lucas noticed, but he already had,

"Hey, Brooke you alright?" he asked, reaching for her hand, and Brooke nodded, letting a small smile slip out.

"Yah I am." She squeezed his hand, before moving away from him, heels clicking on the concrete floor as she walked around the space.

Except for the remnants of the security system and the faint black markings on the floor, which could've been from anyone in heavy working shoes, the place didn't feel like as ominous as she expected it to.

It wasn't until she felt her heel fall through a small crack in the flooring that her breath caught in her throat.

Memories suddenly assaulted her, starting with the first day she decided to buy this space. Her realtor suggested it, because of the great view and safe location, and while surveying the property, Brooke almost slipped when her heel got stuck in this very crack.

She swore she'd get it repaired, but never did and she remembered that night, when from the shock of what was happening, she stumbled back and caught her foot in that opening again, falling back against the flooring and hitting her head on the concrete floor.

She almost didn't realize she was breathing erratically until Lucas's arms wrapped around her and he eyed her with concern, "

You wanna tell me what's going on now?" He asked, brushing a loose curl behind her ear and despite the many times people had asked her that since it happened, she found herself nodding her head and pulling Lucas towards the incredible view of the Brooklyn bridge, before speaking,

"After I fired Victoria and then moved back to New York, I took over the company and took over as CEO. I developed this idea for a child's clothing line; I appropriately called it Baby Brooke. It never really took off until a year ago. At first, the board was completely against it. They thought it was a risk for the company and since we were doing so well, they didn't want to do it. Eventually, I won them over and when the clothes started selling really well online, I decided to open a store." She paused then but Lucas watched her carefully, listening attentively.

Brooke smiled softly, thinking about how the wheels must've been turning in his head, trying to piece together the entire story even before she told it.

_Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you_

"When I saw this place, I thought it was perfect. At first everyone thought it would be a bad idea to open a location in Brooklyn, but I couldn't help it. I had a feeling about it, so I leased it and started working on arrangements. The store was a week from opening and everything was set up, when I had a surprise visitor."

At this point, Brooke leaned against the window, staring into the dark, but clear night, and despite her opening up to him, Lucas couldn't stop admiring her beauty.

She stood in a simple pair of black, skinny jeans, heeled boots, and a white sweater, but she never looked more stunning to him, and equally sad.

When that thought registered, Lucas immediately walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Brooke leaned into his touch unconsciously and continued talking,

"After not speaking to me for almost four years, Victoria Davis waltzed in here and completely tried to fuck with everything I had planned. She basically told me the store wouldn't amount to anything, because it was way too out of the comfort zone of what C/B was and that if I was smart about it, I'd make a better career decision and stick to what I knew.

I didn't want to argue with her, but the shock of seeing her again with her smugness on display, it really infuriated me. I told her to get out of my store and she left, but before she walked out, I distinctly remember her murmuring that it wouldn't be my store for long. I didn't think anything of it back then, I mean my mother threatens everyone in her life, but I guess I should have…but Jesus, I never thought she'd be capable of something like that."

_We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,_

Brooke took a deep breath and Lucas squeezed her shoulder, "What'd she do Brooke?"

"Couple days later, when I was leaving, I was attacked in this store. The attacker was wearing a dark mask so I couldn't identify him, I tried to leave, but I stumbled and fell, hitting my head against the floor, which caused me to pass out."

The color seemed to drain from Lucas's face and Brooke had to look away. It was one thing reliving the experience and the fear that haunted her dreams for months after, but seeing Lucas so distraught, so obviously angered, and conflicted about what happened, was a bit overwhelming.

"I woke up sometime later, it was still dark." Brooke continued shakily, but surprisingly more in control of herself than she thought she would be when she imagined telling Lucas this.

"Did he…" Lucas closed his eyes, his jaw clenching as he listened, "Did he...god I can't even say it."

It dawned on Brooke what he was asking as he ran his hand through his hair and she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him closer, "No Luke, he didn't even touch me like that. I had bruises on my arms and legs and a black eye, but god, no he didn't. I was lucky I passed out when I did, because if I had fought, he was so strong, I probably wouldn't have survived."

She closed her eyes then, leaning into Lucas's embrace, shocked to feel his heart beat escalating under her touch. She didn't even think of how much this could have affected him. This experience of telling him was more of a selfish one, a catharsis, so she could make peace with what happened.

"To think I could have lost you without even knowing." He murmured, kissing her temple and burying his hand in her hair,

"But you didn't Luke. I've been running from this for god knows how long, but the extent of my injuries was only a fear of returning here, facing what happened, and I did it now thanks to you."

Lucas gave her a small smile as something dawned on him,

"Is this why you were hesitant in returning to New York, why you asked for more time?"

Brooke looked down then, not sure of how to answer, "I guess part of it had to do with it. I was kind of scared of coming back with me, because I thought I wasn't ready, but I am now."

Brooke reached up and placed a soft kiss on his lips, but Lucas didn't reciprocate with too much vigor,

" What's wrong, " she asked, but Lucas shook his head, "It's not what you think, I want to kiss you just as much if not more, I just cant wrap my mind around it. What happened after you woke up?"

"I was obviously disoriented, but managed to check the cash register and my lock box. They were both broken into and the designs for the upcoming Baby Brooke line were stolen, but no cash, because the register was empty. I didn't want to draw media attention but I knew I needed to get checked out, so I called a nurse who worked in Rachel's second rehab in Long Island. She did in home care part time and she checked me out, said I was fine."

"Did you notify the police?" Lucas asked, and when Brooke looked away, he already knew the answer.

"Brooke how could you not?"

_Now I have come to understand,  
The way it is,  
It's not a secret anymore,  
'cause we've been through that before,_

"I told you I didn't want attention. It would be horrible publicity. People would be afraid to shop at our stores. Besides I was so convinced and still am that it was Victoria's doing, that I just, I did what I thought was best. No one was hurt-…"

"You were hurt Brooke! You were, not just anybody, but you and I can't believe-…"

Lucas never finished his rant, because Brooke gently placed her fingers across his lips,

"I'm okay Lucas. I'm here now and there's nothing we can do to change what I did months ago. We don't need to dwell on the past. I told you what happened; because I want to move past this, but I want to move past it with you, so please don't get upset, I can't change what I did."

Lucas remained quiet.

Brooke wrapped her arms possessively over her chest, trying both to fend off the goose bumps forming on her flesh and the sudden fear that she'd unloaded too much on Lucas too soon. She should've waited until at least she moved back. However, she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the burden of keeping something like this from him.

Even though it had no direct bearing on their relationship, letting this out would help Brooke mend, but perhaps it wasn't as gratifying when Lucas's anxiety was the price to pay.

"Luke-…"

"I know, I know what you're saying, but I just can't believe I almost lost you." He sighed, this time slouching against the windows, gaze cast down.

Brooke sighed, running a hand through her dark brown tendrils,

"C'mere." She whispered, extending her hand and when Lucas walked towards her, Brooke swore she wouldn't let him go again.

He fell into her arms effortlessly, holding her tightly against him, almost crushing her.

"I'm sorry I told you so soon." She whispered, but Lucas pulled back, cupping her cheeks, and shaking his head, "I'm not sorry. I'm glad you told me, I'm glad you let me in."

"Me too." She said softly, leaning into his touch, letting the warm sensations overtake her.

Long, comfortable silences seemed like a given between them recently, Brooke noted, as they pulled apart and stood smiling at each other.

"Let's go get some food Pretty girl." Lucas smiled, pulling her towards the door. Brooke followed him earnestly. When they stepped out into the street and Lucas stepped aside to hail down a taxi, Brooke discreetly undid the key to the property from the chain and turned to look at Lucas.

"We're gonna be okay broody." She said to herself and as Lucas ushered her towards an awaiting cab, she threw the key over her shoulder.

She didn't need to remember anymore.

***

_From tonight I know that you're the only one,  
I've been confused and in the dark,  
Now I understand,_

The early morning sun filtered into the room, casting its rays over her face. Brooke felt the light beneath her eyelids, but didn't want to open her eyes just yet. An unconscious smile spread over her lips, making her dimples stick out as she let out a muffled groan and snuggled deeper into the covers. It wasn't until her hand ran across the other side of the bed that her half conscious mind pulled her out of sleep.

She opened her eyes, squinting slightly against the morning rays, before turning over and realizing that Lucas wasn't in bed with her.

She stretched lightly and turned, ready to look for him, when she was met with something that caught her breath and made her smile.

Busy behind his desk, fingers furiously typing away, and eyes completely focused on the laptop, Lucas hadn't even noticed that she woke up. Brooke took this opportunity to admire him at work. She'd forgotten how amazing it felt to be privy to something so intimate and sacred.

She remembered many nights and afternoons after school when they would curl up together on his bed, while he typed and she drew or read or tried to pry him away from the computer.

The memory made her chuckle softly to herself and she pushed herself off the bed, the comforter trailing behind her.

Her hand softly wrapped around his bare torso and leaned in,

"Whatcha writing Broody?"

Her breath tickled his neck and he jumped up at her voice, but quickly recovered.

"Just something." He teased, while saving the document and closing the laptop, so Brooke couldn't peek.

"Hey, that's not fair. Why don't I get to see what it's about?" She frowned, hands on her hips.

Lucas smirked and pulled her into his lap, kissing her softly before replying,

"A muse doesn't get to see the product until it's finished."

"Me? A muse?" Brooke asked playfully, "Have you so badly run out of ideas Lucas Scott?"

Lucas smiled, tightening his grasp around her waist, "No, I think I'm suddenly full of ideas."

He said suggestively, before pulling her in for another kiss.

Brooke giggled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, admiring the flex of muscle underneath. She thought she'd never get enough of him.

The night before had been nothing short of magical and all they'd done was ate some greasy Chinese and talked for hours.

That and she finally told him everything about the robbery, which felt like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

It felt like for the last day, they'd been in their own little bubble, mending their relationship, focusing on each others' needs, and it was wonderful. She never felt so loved before.

_I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,_

Of course, the rest of the world still waited patiently outside his apartment and as much as she would love to spend the rest of her nights in his arms and not leave his bed, she knew she had some things to do before.

"Luke." She said quietly, as he ran his hands up and down her side.

"What's up beautiful?" He murmured, kissing her shoulder.

Brooke blushed in spite herself, but cast her gaze down, "I really want to go see Haley, Nathan, and Jamie today and I think I should go alone."

Lucas raised his eyebrow at her request, but didn't say anything. Brooke reached up and stroked his cheek, "it's just, it's been so long and I have kept in touch with them, but I want spend some time with them, before we let them know what's going on between us."

Her main incentive for visiting the Scotts would be to apologize to Haley in person for how she'd acted on the phone back in LA. She was also dying to see Jamie, and thank Nathan for coming to her aid when she needed him. She somehow knew that Haley made that phone call without Lucas knowing, so despite it being a lame excuse, she had to go see them without him.

_I wonder why it is,  
I wont let my guard down,  
For anyone but you_

Lucas smirked then, "You know Brooke, my brother may not have been the smartest of the Scotts, but he's not stupid. He knows that if you came all the way to New York for me, I would never let you go again."

Brooke smiled softly at that, resting her head against his shoulder, "Yah I know, but it's just something I have to do."

Lucas nodded, "Yeah, I understand. I have to go into work today anyway, let Lindsay and Jack know I'm not dead."

"Wait a second Lindsay?" Brooke's eyebrows widened at the name, "Your former editor/fiancé Lindsay?"

Lucas looked at her a bit sheepishly, before nuzzling her cheek, "Yah, I didn't tell you before, but she's a part time editor in my publishing house. I needed her to help me edit my novel. I can't really do it myself and I don't trust anyone else with my writing."

"Ohh." Brooke said, looking beyond him to the computer, "So that's what you're hiding then. A new novel?"

Lucas smiled modestly, a blush coming over his cheeks, "Hopefully. If I only I can get the ending right."

"I see."

"Hey, you're okay with Lindsay working with me right?" Lucas asked, still a bit uncertain, but Brooke gave him her signature dimpled smile and nodded,

"Any sacrifice for the arts." She winked and slid off his lap.

Lucas shook his head, a bit relieved that she was okay with this. His mind began to wander away from the bedroom, thinking about how he finally had her, how the last few months and the lonely years of searching before that had not been in vain. He couldn't help the surge of happiness and love when he thought about having Brooke Davis back in his life, in his heart, in his bed.

"Sooo." Brooke's voice trailed off as she fiddled with the comforter, "it's way too early for me to go visit the Scotts, and I assume you set your own hours, so we've got sometime to kill right?"

Lucas nodded, "What do you propose we do?" He asked and when Brooke dropped the sheet, he forgot about deadlines, the last three months, and everything in the world except making love to Brooke Davis…

_We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind…_

_***_


	23. Chapter 23: Resurfaced

**Surfaces**

Rating: (heavy towards the end) M

Spoiler: Post 5.12.

Pairing: Lucas/Brooke and others.

A/N: This takes place roughly a year since the last chapter. This has been quite a journey for both me and the characters, so I hope I did them justice with the ending. Enjoy!

Song: "Closer" by Dido.

***

Chapter 23: Resurfaced

***

"As writers, we'd like to believe that in the best of all possible worlds, our characters have meaning. They have layers, surfaces if you will, that when stripped from them, reveal naked pureness, expose raw emotion and everything that makes our readers connect to them, anything that will humanize the portraits we paint with our words. Whatever our method of extracting them, and no matter the finished product, it never seems real enough. The characters seem fake somehow, in some nuance, in some way they speak or react, and it never seems to be enough. I suppose that's why I write about what I know, even when I can't help it. For example, the protagonist's energetic and freakishly intelligent sidekick reminds me of my own best friend, Haley, even though I didn't intend it at all. And the old, wise man Ricky meets in the bar on his way through Texas, reminds me of my old basketball couch even though I didn't envisage him that way on purpose. As for the mysterious temptress with whom he falls in love; well I won't give away who inspired her character. However, I can assure you that she has many layers, many surfaces within her, and I enjoy peeling them away every day that I'm privileged to do so…"

The sound of quiet, professional applause and the subsequent scurry of movement in the university auditorium pulled Lucas out of his reverie and he shut the hardcover book he was reading. He stood in thought, tracing his finger down the elegant spine of the novel. He stared proudly at the front cover, which contains the title and his byline; but nothing compared to the small print on the book's spine, which boldly displayed the "Raven Publication" stamp.

Not only was this his second novel, completed, well accepted, and slowly climbing the best seller list, but it was also one of the several Raven Publication novels in circulation at the moment.

That was an insurmountable feeling of elation.

"Mr. Scott."

His head snapped up and he smiled warmly at the special events coordinator at NYU.

"Please Saundra, call me Lucas."

He replied and a soft blush reflected the dark haired woman's shy demeanor,

"No problem Mr. Sc-Lucas, I just wanted to let you know there will be a small press junket with questions in a few minutes, it will be on the other side of the hallway, would you like to follow me please?"

He listened to her, but his eyes scanned the crowd anxiously.

He swore he could spot her from a throng of people easily, but he was coming up empty and he frowned.

She promised to be here.

Where was she?

He looked at his watch, "Actually, do I have a few minutes? I know where the room is, I can find my way there."

"Certainly, it doesn't start till 12:30, so you have some time. If you need anything, let me know, the halls can be so confusing here." She smiled at him and Lucas thanked her before turning his attention to the auditorium and slipping into the crowd.

He checked his cell phone, but there were no missed calls, just a text message sent at 6:30 that morning, letting him know she'd landed safely in the states, but that she needed to return to the office immediately. She promised to meet him for the reading, but if she were here by now, wouldn't she have come found him.

He pushed his way through the crowd, lost in thought, until he accidentally elbowed someone. Turning around to apologize, the man grabbed his hand,

"Lucas Scott." He said, his brown eyes, a hint of mirth beneath them, shining inquisitively.

Lucas nodded, and for some reason he stopped as well, when the man reached out and shook his hand,

"Julian Baker, a huge fan."

"Oh thank you very much. If you'd like I can sign you a copy of the new book, but I'm kind of-…"

"Oh no, I don't need a signed copy of your book. As much as your recitation was enthralling and the new novel is great I'm sure, I am much more interested in your first work."

The man was being vague, but Lucas was intrigued. He was dressed too well to be a college student and too modernly to be a professor. He didn't have any visual equipment which meant he wasn't a photographer. That left pretty much no other option, considering this was a university sponsored event with a limited guest list.

Gauging Lucas's perplexed expression,

Julian smiled, "You're probably wondering how the hell I got in here, but I'm actually an NYU Film school alum. I got invited to your talk, through the alumni association and I thought, hey haven't seen New York in a while, should make the trip."

"You're not from around here?" Lucas asked, a bit exasperated.

He needed to find his girlfriend, who he hadn't seen for over three weeks, and if this guy was stalling…

"No I'm from LA. I run a small, independent production company and I'm very interested in Ravens."

So this guy wasn't bullshitting…

"For what?" Lucas asked, wondering if he was so sleep deprived from the book tour and the late nights editing that he was hallucinating the talk.

Meanwhile Julian seemed relaxed but brash,

"I think your first work has the potential to be an incredible movie. It has all the elements of honesty you mentioned, and considering it's inspired by real events, I think it would be a great venture."

Lucas didn't say anything, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of a Ravens movie. He reached behind him, scratching the back of his neck, in a way that always made Brooke tease him.

Julian wasn't in the least bit impatient. From what he had been told by a very reliable source, Lucas Scott might've been a renowned author, but he was a tough nugget to crack when it came to the Hollywood side of things, which if this movie was successful, would be inevitable.

"Look, I'm very much interested, and I'd love to have you on board, in any way you like. Although I think you'd make a great screenwriter for this since it is your novel-…"

"Screenwriter?" Lucas interrupted, mind still boggled at the incredulous proposal,

"Yes." Julian nodded enthusiastically, his smirk strategically in place, "I've read your work, and I think you'd be the best fit."

Lucas nodded unsurely.

Julian pulled his business card out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Lucas,

"Why don't you think about it and meet me tomorrow for a drink at the St. Francis on Lexington, I'm in town just until tomorrow night."

"Alright thanks." Lucas smiled politely and hung back to study the card Julian gave him.

The brunette man nodded at him, and began walking away. But he didn't even make it a foot, before a soft voice, a voice Lucas hadn't heard in years, filled his ears and the writer looked up, just in time to see Peyton Sawyer, the proverbial heroine in Ravens, his teenage obsession, and the cause of years of heartache and therapy, place a soft but deep kiss on Julian's cheek.

He stood rooted in his spot, a myriad of indescribable emotions rushing through him. Before he could process anything, their eyes met through the crowd and he had to smile, because she just looked so different from the last time he saw her, yet still the same.

She smiled at him softly and began walking back towards him, Julian besides her, averting his eye sheepishly now, as if Lucas had caught him in his deception.

She looked breathtaking as usual and effortlessly so. His eyes don't trace her body admiringly, partly because he only has eyes for one woman now and always had, and partly because he was more interested in the present whimsical look her green eyes so seldom carried when he knew her.

Beyond pretty, she just looked happy, relaxed, and the way she confidently held Julian's hand made Lucas think it has something to do with the smug producer.

"Lucas Scott, you still have a way with words I see."

She was already teasing him with a half smirk and a glint in her eyes and it took Lucas all of two seconds before he pulled her into a crushing hug. It had been too damn long since he'd seen her and for the life of him, he could understand why he was suddenly so elated.

Perhaps it was all the guilt he'd carried around for the last five years. He never wanted to be the cause of sorrow in her life and seeing her so content just by watching her interact with Julian made his heart swell and the weight on his shoulders deteriorate.

Peyton sank into his hug without resistance, feeling an almost identical relief at seeing him and feeling none of the bitterness she would've had if they'd run into each other even a year ago.

What a difference love makes, she mused, as she let go and stood back besides Julian.

He was her rock now and she let Lucas know this.

Lucas felt like introductions and small talk didn't apply to their trio, but he eyed Julian with apprehension,

"How've you been Peyton?" He asked, and Peyton can already tell he was sizing up her boyfriend.

God, some things never changed.

"I've been great. How about you? Though considering the amazing turn out today you can't be doing too badly." She teased and Lucas relaxed considerably.

"I'm not, although I just got an interesting offer from some big shot producer guy from LA; you wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"

Peyton let out a small chuckle and looked at Julian somewhat apologetically, "Well Mr. Solo here insisted on introducing himself alone. He didn't want me to influence your decision."

Lucas laughed in spite himself, "And he thought it would influence my decision negatively?"

"Perhaps." Peyton replied cheekily, glancing at both men.

Julian shifted and cracked a smile, "I thought you'd think about it, come meet me for drinks, and then have Peyton as my secret weapon, but she decided to come with me." He said, looking down at her like she was the only person in the room.

Lucas had to smile at that.

"Couldn't miss it. Lucas Scott writing something else, especially a fiction novel, I had to see for myself." Peyton explained, "But anyway, I think it would be a great opportunity. You should think about it, talk it over with Brooke, and see what she says."

The way she spoke of Brooke so casually reminded Lucas that despite the lack of communication between himself and Peyton, her friendship with his girlfriend had only grown over the last year.

Brooke had been adamant about getting the two of them to make up and solve their problems, but there never seemed to be a reason for it. Selfishly, Lucas believed it would complicate matters if he and Peyton became friends again and now he knew it was a ludicrous thought, considering how happy she seemed with Julian.

"Where is Brooke?" Peyton asked when Lucas didn't say anything and proceeded to look around.

But he shook his head, "She was supposed to be-…"

Before Lucas could explain further, he felt a gust of wind pass him and he turned his head to find Brooke walking towards them, a huge smile on her face when she came to recognize the two people standing besides her boyfriend.

Now with Brooke, all he did was look at her.

From the gentle curve of her slender leg, accentuated by a leather boot, to the sweater dress that seemed to hug her curves in all the right places and expose the softness and creaminess of her cleavage, to finally her face, which was as gorgeous as usual, with dimples ever present, and sparking, hazel eyes.

God, he was so in love with her, it was embarrassing.

By the time Lucas registered Brooke's presence, she and Peyton had already shared a much overdue hug and when she turned to smile at him, he almost forgot how much he missed her in the last couple weeks.

"I'm sorry you didn't find me earlier Broody. I had to step out and make a call." She said smiling, as if she hadn't been in Paris for the last 20 days.

"So you made it." He asked quietly and Brooke arched an eyebrow,

"You don't actually think I'd miss your first public reading of Surfaces, did you?"

Her hand slipped into his as effortlessly as his arm wrapped around her waist, and before she could register what was happening, Lucas was already kissing her.

The feel of her lips and the familiar scent of her perfume intoxicated him, making him disregard the public setting in which they were. It wasn't professional and not very discreet, but he couldn't help himself.

He'd missed her.

Pulling away, Brooke looked at him with wide eyes.

Julian and Peyton chuckled behind them, but the rest of the room was thankfully oblivious.

"Luke…" She said quietly, tracing her hand over his cheek.

"I missed you." He whispered and Brooke softened immediately, "I did too." She replied warmly, hazel eyes mirroring his desires and longing.

"You and me, later." She kissed his cheek before turning around and sizing up her best friend's boyfriend.

"Well if it isn't the infamous Julian Baker, it's nice to put a face to the name." She quipped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And you must be "the" Brooke Davis, it's nice to see you outside the myriad of pictures my lovely girlfriend has of you at her house." Julian didn't skip a beat and extended his hand.

"Well what can I say? P. Sawyer has always decorated tastefully."

Lucas chuckled at that, connecting eyes with the blond over Brooke's shoulder, and found her smiling at him warmly, a huge change from the last time he saw her. Before the conversation could proceed, Lucas spotted Saundra walking briskly towards him.

"Uh, I think I have to go to that press conference now." Lucas said, checking his watch.

"Oh I'll come with you?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, I think we can all do that. It shouldn't take long, just a few questions."

"Okay great, are you guys staying for the press thing?" Brooke asked, directing her attention to the couple standing besides them.

"We were going to do a little sight seeing actually." Peyton explained,

"There's a really awesome record store on 5th St. I wanted to take her to." Julian said, smiling at the blonde.

"Oh! That's perfect." Brooke squealed, clasping her hands together, "That's right near the restaurant we're meeting Haley and Nathan at for lunch after this."

"That's right. They moved here a couple months ago huh?" Peyton spoke excitedly and Lucas felt like a reunion was formulating right under his nose.

"Yah, so why don't you guys head over there and I'll call you when Mr. Famous Author here finishes signing autographs." Brooke teased and glanced over at Lucas, who shook his head and almost blushed.

Some things definitely never changed, Peyton thought momentarily, before agreeing with Brooke.

"Hey, we'll see you guys soon. Thanks for talking to me Lucas, think about it." Julian extended his hand and Lucas took it, before the pair disappeared into the crowd.

"What did you guys talk about?" Brooke asked, stepping much closer to Lucas now that they were alone.

"I'll tell you tonight." He replied, wrapping his arm loosely around her waist and planting a kiss on her temple, "God I missed you."

"Me too Luke, me too" Brooke grasped his hand tighter as he pulled her towards the exit.

God it felt good to be home.

***

"Dad, aunt Brooke promised they'd be here by now."

Nathan turned to his son, sitting across the table from him and smiled.

Damn, but did Brooke Davis have to have an effect on all the Scott men?

"They'll be here soon honey. Meanwhile, can you hand me Emma's diaper bag I think she needs a change." Haley said from besides him, their barely year old bundle of joy in her arms.

Nathan watched as Jamie wrinkled his nose at the mention of his sister's diaper change, but handed the bag to his mom, and even quietly asked if she needed help.

Haley laughed and shook her head, "Nah, I got this one kiddo. Keep your daddy company, he's eyeing the appetizers on that table, make sure he doesn't try to eat them."

The brunette joked, before planting a kiss on Nathan's cheek, slinging the bag over her shoulder, and walking towards the bathroom.

Checking his watch, Nathan realized his brother and his girlfriend were indeed over 20 minutes late, and he was pretty hungry, his eyes shifted towards the table next to them,

"Don't even think about it dad." Jamie warned and Nathan broke out into a grin.

He was about to tease his son, when he saw Jamie's blue eyes light up as he scampered off his seat and ran toward the restaurant entrance, where Nathan saw the Lucas was holding the door for Brooke.

"Brooke you made it!" Jamie exclaimed, high fiving his godmother before she pulled him into a hug.

"Jeez, I'm totally feeling the love." Lucas grunted but Jamie just rolled his eyes,

"I just played basketball for two hours with you this morning Uncle Luke. I haven't seen Brooke in like I don't even know how long, plus she probably brought me presents."

The precocious 11 year old cast a sideways glance toward Brooke for confirmation and she nodded enthusiastically,

"I got piles and piles of presents for my two favorite godchildren, now where's your sister?" Brooke asked, ruffling his hair.

"Emma had to get her diaper changed. Babies are so gross." Jamie said, holding his nose dramatically and Lucas laughed, "I'll have you know that I used to change your dirty diapers when I babysat you."

Jamie's eyes widened but then he shrugged, "Sorry Uncle Luke."

Brooke nudged Lucas playfully as they made their way towards the restaurant.

A few minutes after they sat down, Haley came out with Emma and Brooke immediately focused her attention on the chubby baby.

The infant seemed to recognize her, because Emma reached out, grabbed a fist full of auburn hair, and tugged with all her strength.

"Sorry, she's in that stage right now, where she pulls on everything. She has such a strong grip too." Haley explained sheepishly as she took a sip of water.

"I don't even care, she's so cute." Brooke smiled, nuzzling Emma's tummy.

"Yah, my little girl has a strong arm; she's going to be one hell of a softball player." Nathan said bemusedly and everyone at the table laughed.

"Well, well, Nathan Scott, talking about sports. Why am I not surprised?" a voice behind him exclaimed and Haley almost chocked on her water,

"Peyton Sawyer?" She exclaimed, standing up and in the process almost knocking over the silver wear.

"Holy-…" Nathan said, before stopping himself and pulling Peyton into a hug, "it's been a fucking while." He murmured into her curls discreetly, so his son wouldn't scold him for saying the 'bad' words again.

Brooke and Lucas exchanged sheepish but amused faces and Haley slapped Brooke's free arm none too lightly;

"You knew they were coming and you didn't tell us! Give me my daughter back right this second." Haley admonished playfully, but before Brooke could extend Emma to her, the brunette was across the table, pulling Peyton into a deep hug.

"It's good to see you too Hales." Peyton said, releasing Haley from her hug, "motherhood agrees with you yet again." She smiled, "And you Mr. Hotshot Basketball player."

The blonde teased Nathan as he embraced her again.

Lucas and Brooke shared pleased glances over the exchange while Brooke cuddled Emma close to her chest. The infant had taken to her godmother immediately, despite the fact that due to a busy schedule, the visits to Nathan and Haley's were rare.

Lucas watched Brooke as she played with Emma and Jamie caught him staring, giving him a knowing smile ,which made Lucas slightly embarrassed but also happy. He had his favorite people all in one room together, and it seemed like all the pieces of his life were falling into place.

Turning his attention back to Brooke, he knew she was a big part of it.

Of course, there were difficulties in their relationship. Brooke wasn't easily accepting, only giving parts of her heart to him over their months together. She still worked insane hours, which coupled with his intense schedule at the publishing house and the book tour, resulted in most nights where he didn't see her until she crawled into bed besides him, asleep before her head hit the pillow.

Another sore spot for them had been her friendship with Peyton, which continued to grow after she moved down to New York City. While Brooke made frequent visits to LA for both work and leisure, Lucas thought it would be best if he and Peyton did not speak.

At that point, Brooke was weary of his intentions, questioning if maybe he didn't want to talk to her because of unresolved feelings, but Lucas knew he just didn't want to face the guilt and issues from the last time he saw her. He still carried the guilt from hurting Peyton like that for years, and was determined to avoid it for as long as possible, though now it appeared fate had other plans.

Perhaps it was time to put the past behind them, a chance to move on from the epic love story that seemed to disintegrate faster than it formed.

"What you thinking about Luke?" Brooke asked quietly from besides him and he smiled, leaning in to grasp Emma's extended finger,

"I'm thinking this baby is freaking adorable and that Julian probably feels like he's walked into the Ravens novel."

Brooke giggled when she looked up and realized that Julian, indeed, looked a bit star struck, especially when Nathan and Haley exchanged hellos with him.

"Peyton tells me he actually listens to Haley's records with her, ooh and secretly watches highlights from Nathan's games despite being a self proclaimed sports hater." Brooke whispered and Lucas smirked at the information.

At that point, Haley picked up Emma to introduce her to Peyton and Julian, after which the foursome sat down at the table and picked up their menus.

Brooke giddily picked up her glass of water, not waiting for the waiter to bring their drinks before making a toast,

"To all my favorite people, and yes Julian that includes you," She winked in the producer's direction and he saluted her with his glass, "To all of us being here and being together." Brooke said and everyone clinked glasses.

Lucas squeezed her hand under the table.

***

The cool Manhattan breeze blew past her curls as she stood outside the restaurant, trying to talk her assistant through a mini crisis at work.

She hadn't planned on this impromptu trip to New York so it didn't give her much time to debrief Charlotte on what she would have to take care of while Peyton was gone.

Thankfully, crisis averted, the blond shut her cell phone and turned to go back to the restaurant, almost bumping into Lucas as he walked up to her,

"Whoa, sorry Luke, I was just on my way inside." She said quietly, keeping her eyes down.

Studying her demure reaction, Lucas guessed he wasn't the only one feeling weird about seeing the other after so long.

"I actually came out here to talk to you if that's okay."

Peyton met his eyes unexpectedly, a mixed expression on her face, which surely held surprise.

"Yeah sure" She nodded gesturing to the stairway.

They stood in silence for some time, Lucas not sure what to say and Peyton studying her fingernails to avoid the tension.

"This is weird, isn't it?" He murmured suddenly, and judging by her expression, Peyton seemed to agree,

"Yah it is." She paused, studying him for a moment, "I loved Surfaces." She added quietly, and Lucas looked at her in awe.

"You did?"

"You seem surprised." Peyton smirked, but she obviously knew why he said it, "Just because it's inspired by my best friend, doesn't change how amazing it is, nor does it make me feel any different toward either of you. I honestly don't think I'm in any position to be upset or angry. We've been over for years Lucas; in some ways when I turned down your proposal I knew it was inevitable that we would part ways. I love Brooke and I want what's best for her, which happens to be you."

Lucas smiled at that, in some ways relieved Peyton finally acknowledged Brooke's relationship with him positively. Listening to her and seeing her so relaxed and smiling, Lucas felt even more upset about his actions. He supposed that's why maybe things with Peyton never worked out.

With her, it was always about worrying about what she thought and if she was okay and ya…his hero complex definitely acted up around the curly blonde, and it wasn't even her fault.

Residual feelings from his childhood and teen years spent watching her so unhappy probably had something to do with it though.

"It kind of hurt that you didn't want to visit with Brooke or even say hi over Skype."

Lucas looked up, shocked at the vulnerability in Peyton's voice, and the seeming reversal of roles. He'd asked her to talk but here she was telling him how she felt while he stood like a damn mute.

"Brooke didn't tell me. She always made excuses for you, but it wasn't hard to figure out you were avoiding me."

"I'm sorry Peyton." He said softly, digging his hands into his pant pockets as he turned his attention to the busy street instead of the blonde besides him.

"I guess and this is going to sound incredibly stupid and conceited, but I thought it'd be easier for both of us if we didn't have actual contact with each other. That way you wouldn't have to remember who Brooke was living with and I didn't have to face how we left things."

Peyton didn't respond right away, and when he cast a side glance at her, she seemed deep in thought, her slim arms crossed over the blue top she was wearing.

Her expression was stoic. He couldn't tell if she was mad or upset or surprised at his reasoning, but when she turned and he looked into her green eyes, he was met with calm.

"I know why you did it Luke." She said softly, making sure to keep eye contact, "I assume you came out here to tell me that, but I knew. I just wanted you to know that since we're going to be in each other's lives for good this time, that you don't do that, because as much as I hated you for those few years back in LA, I don't now. I'm okay, even happy and you don't need to worry. Focus on Brooke instead of on your guilt okay?"

Lucas could do nothing but nod.

Her words seemed to overpower his considerably and he didn't want to apologize again, because he knew she already understood him. At the same time, he couldn't help but marvel at the maturity he felt in Peyton's actions and heard in her words.

She didn't look older, perhaps just a polished version of her teenage self, but in her words, in her demeanor, in her expression lay grace, virtue, and brutal honesty.

It was incredible how subtle her transformation was, but it was there. Although, Lucas was glad to have known her before, in order that he could appreciate the woman she'd become.

"I love her you know." He said it while kicking a pebble, "I'm in love with her, have been since the day she came back to Tree Hill. I just didn't know it."

"I knew." Peyton admitted, "I watched you guys get closer and closer while she continued to encourage me and I don't know. You and I were supposed to last and we didn't and I'm glad, because it brought me to Julian, but I wish you and I weren't so blinded back then."

"Me too. If I had seen it for what it was, I wouldn't have spent so much time being so restless, and hurting the two of you. I'm done with that by the way." Lucas said, turning his body towards Peyton, leaning against the side of the stairway,

"I'm done being indecisive, hurting people I love, hurting Brooke especially. I know what I want and it's her and I am not going to hurt her again. I promise."

And his words struck a truce between the two old lovers. They stood in comfortable silence for a while. Unspoken words between them disappeared, the tension falling away with the gust of wind, until all that was left were fond memories, memories that both of them could look back on and not feel a twinge of guilt or the pang of hurt that previously dominated thoughts of the other.

"So…" Lucas's voice trailed off between them and Peyton laughed, "Tell me how you met Julian."

***

_So leave your taxi waiting  
And turn and close my door  
And sit back down where you were sitting  
A little closer than before_

"God I missed you." Lucas whispered into her neck, brushing the hair from her nape and giving her a soft kiss, while she fumbled with the lock on their apartment door.

No sooner than it opened, Brooke pulled him into the apartment and lunged into his arms, kissing him furiously, exploring his mouth, and digging her fingers into his hair. Lucas reciprocated, pulling her smaller body against his, wishing her softness wasn't concealed by so many layers.

Brooke pulled back and smiled, "I missed you too."

Lucas brushed a few stands of hair from her face, "It's good to have you back home."

"Yeah it is. Paris was fun, but next time I think I'll be taking you along with me." She explained cheekily, hanging her coat on the rack by the door, while Lucas moved into the kitchen.

"If my schedule even allows it. We're swamped at work." He lamented, retrieving two beers and a can opener, before returning to the living room, where Brooke already sat on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Thanks," She said, taking a beer from him.

They sat in silence for a few moments and Lucas could tell Brooke was dying to ask him about Peyton, so to spare her the torturous wait, he spoke,

"It was good to see Peyton again."

Brooke suddenly felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders, she'd been having mixed feelings about the strain her boyfriend and best friend's relations, since she got back together with Lucas, and though a small part of her still felt insecure, she was mostly concerned with Lucas's avoidance of the issue. It was nice to see him respond to Peyton so positively.

"Oh yeah?" She asked nonchalantly, playing with her cuticles.

"Yeah" Lucas smirked, pretending not to notice how relieved she seemed.

She really was an incredibly selfless person, always worrying about every one else's well being except her own. It suddenly occurred to him that she must've been exhausted.

After a ten hour flight and a business meeting, followed by a busy lunch, and hours sightseeing with Peyton and Julian, she was probably dying for some shut eye.

"Hey, pretty girl, enough serious talk. Why don't you take a nap, while I cook dinner? You must be so tired." He sympathized, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him.

"I so am, but I have a date with Rachel on Skype in half an hour, so can we stay here for a little bit?"

She looked up at him with her dimples and hazel eyes and he couldn't say no, especially because he had no other place in the world he'd rather be.

"Sure thing" He said, pulling her closer, until she was in his lap, safely tucked in his arms.

"So tell me what Julian and you talked about." Brooke said, before yawning.

"Well I was going to tell you over dinner, but Julian wants to produce a movie based on An Unkindness of Ravens." He was busy playing with her wavy hair, so when she heard the news and jerked her head, he almost pulled a strand out.

"Ouch." Brooke exclaimed, and then squealed and gave him a huge hug, "Oh my god, Luke that's amazing. I've totally googled him before, he has an impressive resume, and this is such a great opportunity." Her voice trailed off as she grasped his face between her hands and let out a breath of air,

"God, I am so proud of you Lucas." She said, kissing his lips quickly.

_When you look that serious  
It just makes me want you more  
And I've been needing to tell you_

"So does that mean you think I should do it?" He asked, embarrassed that he was contemplating declining the offer.

Brooke studied him for a second, before replying, "Do you think you shouldn't?"

"I don't know." Lucas exhaled, detaching himself from her as he leaned on his elbows, closing his eyes, "I feel like making a movie about those events would be unfair to the people who experienced it. It doesn't seem fair to broadcast their emotions for the public to see. Besides, a huge part of that story is my relationship with Peyton and that's long gone."

"Luke, I know you're afraid." Brooke said, taking her turn to dote on him as he sat confused, "But your story was incredible and I think the world deserves to learn about what shaped you as a writer, what shaped all of us. It's a great story and because Peyton trusts Julian, I trust him as well, to do a tasteful portrayal of it."

Lucas looked at her, mesmerized by her ability to give advice without imposing, to put him in the right direction without being forceful, "He thinks I should do the screenplay."

"See!" Brooke perked up, "He's already making smart decisions, and this way you can control how much of the events you want exposed. You can have it your way Broody, but you should figure out first if you want to do it or not. Don't base your decision on my opinion or anyone else's. What does your heart tell you?"

She asked a loaded question, although Lucas was sure she didn't mean to. Nevertheless, he smiled and said, "My heart tells me I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Brooke let out a half chuckle, concealing her blushing at his flattery, "You charmer." She teased, as Lucas relaxed and leaned back on the couch, pulling her with him.

"I think I'll sleep on it. See what I decide to do tomorrow. He wanted me to meet him for drinks at the hotel they're staying at."

"That's good. Maybe I could steal P. Sawyer away for some girl time, while you guys talk business." Brooke said, fiddling with the hem of his button down.

"You really missed her didn't you?" Lucas asked, already the familiar sting of guilt inching itself closer to his gut.

Brooke turned and looked at him, hazel eyes narrowing to slits, "I missed you more these past few weeks." She averted the question with ease, but he could tell she was pleased to be closer to the skinny blonde again, and Lucas pledged that no matter what happened, he'd fight as hard as he could to keep her happy.

_The closer you get, the better I feel  
The closer you are, the more I see  
Why everyone says that I look happier  
When you're around  
The closer you get, the better I feel_

***

When her best friend's face came on screen, Brooke burst out laughing,

"Geez, why do you have to howl like a hyena?" Rachel groaned, taking another sip of water.

"Hangover much?" Brooke teased, "you look like shit Rach."

"Thanks you're so sweet. I do have to say I am never going to another one of those horribly boring business parties with Alex ever again. I mean they don't even deserve to be called parties."

"So you had to drink to weed the boredom out?" Brooke asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, so it's not like we've never done that before." Rachel defended, wiggling her finger at the screen,

"Anyway how was Paris? How was Luke's book reading?"

"Oh my god." Brooke exclaimed, "I completely forgot to tell you, you'll never guess who came down to New York."

Judging by the smile on her face, Rachel already knew the answer, so she smirked, "There're only two people who can put that smile on your face, besides me of course, and that's Sting and Peyton Sawyer, so which is it."

Brooke's eyes went wide as she tried to shush Rachel, "No one knows about my Police obsession and I'd like to keep it that way."

Rachel laughed it off, murmuring something about never getting drunk again when she felt a wave of nausea, then asked, "So it was Peyton then?"

"Yeah, and she brought Julian with her, who offered Lucas a freakin' movie deal for Ravens, can you believe that?"

"No way, does that mean I'm going to be famous?"

"You weren't even in the book dummy." Brooke reminded dryly and Rachel pretended to be hurt,

"So is he going to take it?"

Brooke shrugged, "I don't know. They're meeting for drinks tomorrow, before they go back to LA, so he said he'll decide tomorrow. He was worried about how personal that story is, he doesn't think it's fair to expose something like that on screen."

"Oh, well the better question then is how he is handling seeing his blast from the past. I mean it's been over five years huh?"

"Yeah." Brooke nodded, pulling her legs up to her chest, "I thought it would be worse, but they were pretty civil to each other, I think they talked out their issues at lunch today, so I think everything will be okay."

"I hope so, because you and Luke have been through too much shit to get to where you are to have anything ruin it." Rachel empathized.

Brooke smirked, "The only thing that can potentially ruin this is our fucking careers. Between his book tour, publishing duties, and my work, we barely see each other and I think it's taking a toll on him. It bothers me too, but I'm used to this workaholic thing, he's not and I'm a little worried about him."

It felt good to talk to someone about this, because it seemed like no one but Rachel could understand. Surely Haley and Nathan had a similar situation, but they'd been doing it for over ten years, so Brooke felt a little naïve talking to Haley about it. Rachel, on the other hand, just sympathized.

"It's tough, but a least at the end of the day you've got each other, I mean imagine spending all those nights coming home from work alone, with a bottle of wine, and Conan. That's enough to fucking depress anyone."

"Uh Rach, that's kind of what I did every night for like five years, except eventually I switched to tea, because no one likes the cliché fashion designer with a substance abuse problem." Brooke smiled, actually relieved she could think back on those lonely nights with nothing but relief.

She really was the luckiest woman in the world.

"Yeah because god knows there are enough of them out there." Rachel smirked, and then took a sip of water.

Just then Lucas called from the kitchen, signaling that dinner was ready and Brooke bit her lip, realizing she would be cutting their conversation off really early today,

"Hey Rach, I kind of have to go, we haven't seen each other in-…"

"Oh spare me the sob story." Rachel waved her off and Brooke once again understood why she loved the redhead so much.

You never had to watch what you said with her and she never judged, which was a lot more than Brooke could say for the share of fake friends she'd accumulated over the years.

"Thanks, I'll make it up to you tomorrow, same time?" Brooke asked, picking up her I-Phone to program the alarm.

"Yup, now go have great sex and let me be one with the silence."

"You home alone?" Brooke asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Only for a few more minutes, Alex is on his way home, don't worry mother bear." Rachel teased and Brooke rolled her eyes, "That's it, I'm gonna go, love you, tell Alex hi."

"I will, bye Brookie."

Brooke laughed and stuck her tongue out at the screen, before Rachel turned off her Skype and they disconnected.

***

_And yes I know you're nervous  
Never seen you so unsure  
You haven't touched your food tonight  
And you're drinking more and more_

"Brooke what's taking so long?" Lucas called out, but his voice trailed off when he walked into the bedroom.

The dress she wore was draped over the vanity chair, while she stood with one foot on the bed, about to unclip her stocking from the garter belt.

After nearly three weeks of spending nights alone in their bed, with her scent on his pillow taunting him into the wee hours of the morning, the physical sight of her in nothing more than pink lingerie and stockings sparked a desire in him that had been escalating for days.

A frantic need seemed to escalate with every step he took towards her until he was pressed up against her back, his growing arousal fitting perfectly against her.

Brooke let out a soft moan, leaning her back into him as if on purpose to taunt him, as she unclipped one stocking and rolled it down leg, her body curling in a way that made Lucas shiver with desire.

Her movements were fluid, seductive, she was playing a game, tapping into the Brooke Davis he remembered in high school, who trusted no one and played with everyone.

Her hand moved to the other stocking but his callous fingers traced the rim of the belt and moved her hand away,

"Let me." He whispered in her hair and unclipped the second set of garters with ease, moving his fingers against her skin torturously slow as he pulled the stocking all the way down her leg and removed it.

Brooke trailed her hands behind her to his body, pulling him closer by his hip and turning her head to inhale his scent, "I missed you Luke." She purred and Lucas groaned, pressing his hips into her back, to let her know how much he in fact _missed _her.

Lucas pushed her hair out of the way and dropped soft kisses on her shoulder, while his hands roamed her body, tracing the side of her stomach, before running up her ribcage, and edging around the pink lace she wore.

"Luke." She moaned into his ear, her mind finally catching up with her body as it reacted to his touch, heating up all over.

Lucas didn't respond, instead his hand moved to the clasp of her pink bra and unsnapped it, the lace falling on the bed while Brooke swallowed air unconsciously when her skin reacted to the breeze in the room. She felt almost weak with desire, marveling as she felt his hands over the soft plains of her stomach, how she could have spent three weeks away from him and his touch.

_And there's no need to hurry  
Taking time I'll still be here  
And I've been needing to tell you_

The feeling of his fingers on her breasts almost made her buckle down and fall on the bed, but thankfully his strong arms encapsulated her, holding her against him as he palmed her breasts, twisting her nipples teasingly until her sounds escalated into groans and she felt herself arch into his arousal, his subsequent groan muffled as he sank his teeth into her shoulder.

He usually wasn't so rough with her but after so much time away, he couldn't control his body's reaction to her naked form.

His hands seemed to travel on their own accord down her body, until one disappeared into her warmth.

Brooke arched against him, fisting his shirt to control her erratic movement as he gently messaged her clit, and kissed her shoulder, holding her so tightly against him that when he shuddered, she gasped and let out a moan of satisfaction, realizing just how badly she was turning him on.

Lucas increased the pace of his ministrations, pinching her nipple to elicit a breathy moan and he couldn't help but tease her just a little.

"You think it's funny that you get me hard just by touching you don't you?" He asked, his voice particularly rough, but Brooke wasn't fazed,

"Maybe." She managed to breathe out through heavy pants, and Lucas just smirked, before pulling her into a deep kiss, while plunging two fingers inside of her simultaneously.

Brooke let out a loud yelp, but his kiss seemed to stifle her excitement.

She fell into the kiss effortlessly, her body already so close to release that the intimate nature of their kiss, filled with longing, desire, and inexplicably love only pushed her that much closer.

She pulled back a second later, but Lucas didn't stop twisting inside of her, her knee found itself on the edge of the bed and Lucas took the opportunity to move deeper inside her, the flat of his palm creating friction against her clit in the most delicious way, sending Brooke spiraling out of control as she collapsed against Lucas, riding out an orgasm that was entirely too overdue.

He felt her spasm against him just seconds before she clenched around him and Lucas welcomed the sight of her release. He swore there was nothing as sexy as seeing Brooke when she was coming, it was almost ethereal, the way she moved, the way her body curled and reacted to his touch and to think, he was the one to make her feel that…

Suddenly, his pants seemed too tight and he needed to have her.

Before he could even contemplate his next action, he looked down to see his girlfriend sitting on the bed topless, her chest heaving and slightly flushed from her orgasm, her eyes wild with a mix of content and desire and pulling him closer to her by his belt buckle, intent on returning the favor.

"I almost forgot how good you are at that." She teased, while his hands found themselves trembling in anticipation on her shoulders, running through the ends of her cropped tendrils, tracing her collarbone.

"Would you like me to remind you again?" He asked huskily, staring down at her with dark eyes while she slowly unbuckled his belt and rolled down his fly.

"Nah, I think I should remind you how good I am." She said cheekily, before her hand disappeared into his pants and wrapped around him.

On instinct, he pulled her closer, almost shoving her face into his crotch, and when he apologetically looked down, only half apologetic because her touch felt so good, he was welcomed by the sight of her perfect lips taking him into her mouth, her tongue doing ungodly things as it circled around his length, leaving a trailing heat in its wake.

_The closer you get, the better I feel  
The closer you are, the more I see  
Why everyone says that I look happier  
When you're around  
better I feel_

His hands tangled in her dark brown hair, his hips moving against her in tandem, while her hands roamed his torso, tweaking his nipples occasionally, feeling him twitch in her mouth at every sensitive spot she touched, both with her tongue and her fingers.

He felt hot in her mouth and incredibly hard and she felt herself get wetter at the thought of him buried deep inside her, so much so that she hesitated as she pulled him deeper in, because she just wanted to feel all of him.

Somehow, through the haze of pleasure, Lucas felt the impending orgasm and tried to hold off, wanting to feel her writhing underneath him before he finished.

His hand caressed her cheek, "Brooke." He murmured and when she looked up at him, he almost didn't stop her, but she smiled at him, pulling him out of her mouth and placing gentle kisses on his length before standing up and pulling his t-shirt over his head.

Lucas took advantage of their proximity and pulled her into a deep kiss, hooking his hands into her thong and pulling it off her.

She arched against him, as his reached between them and tweaked her nipple, teasing her so badly she pulled back and gave him a dark glance, before wrapping her small hand around him and pumping him quickly.

"Stop that." He instructed his jaw clenching as he felt himself lose control.

"Make me." She bit back and before she knew it, Lucas pulled her up and sank onto the bed with her in his lap.

Then, with one quick motion, he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed her hips down, both of them letting out simultaneous moans as she took him in completely.

Brooke squeezed her eyes at the feel of him inside of her, and then quickly snapped them open as he thrust up, his mouth closing in over her nipple as pressed his fingers into her hips, controlling her body as she writhed on top of him.

"Oh god, Luke…"

Her voice was so raspy, so inviting, and so warm like the rest of her that his eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure as he tried to concentrate on the sensation she was creating around him.

Feeling him grow inside of her, Brooke gently pushed him down until he was lying flat on his back.

Their eyes met in the darkness and he didn't miss her smirk, so he fought hard to stave off his orgasm, just so he could see her let go before him.

"Don't fight it Broody." She whispered, steadying herself against his chest, teasing him as she moved only slightly, hips gyrating over him, breasts seducing Lucas with their natural movement.

He gave her a signature squint and then relaxed into her touch, as she gripped his shoulders in effort to relieve the tension building inside her. It was obvious that she was close, perhaps closer than anticipated and Lucas decided to use this to his advantage.

After all, two could play that game, he thought, before running his fingers gently up her thighs, and gripping her hip tightly before traveling inward and brushing over her skin, which caused a spasm of movement in the brunette that sent a vibration of pleasure through Lucas's body.

It was in this physical reaction that he fully understood and committed to memory what it felt like to be so deeply connected to another individual that the pleasure you inflicted upon them, became yours. It was intoxicating and as Brooke's incoherent whispers and shallow moans became more prevalent, Lucas didn't waste anytime in giving her the pleasure he'd been waiting weeks to administer.

His left hand traveled over her rib cage and covered her breast, messaging the soft orb gently, ever so slightly tweaking her nipple as she bucked against him, this time her body arched so violently she steadied herself by grasping his calves, no longer able to control the shaking.

"God you are breathtaking." Lucas whispered, more to himself than Brooke, but she heard him and despite the closeness of her orgasm, she pushed forward, landing squarely on his chest, cropped locks teasing his chin.

_The closer you get, better you see  
The closer you are, more I see  
Why everyone says that I look happier  
When you're around  
The closer you get, better I feel_

"I want you to come with me." She explained her sudden halt through the darkness and she swore she felt Lucas smile as he pulled her into a deep kiss and flipped them over, settling his weight on top her as she rose to meet his thrust.

He groaned at the contact of their lower bodies meeting again, her heated softness consumed all his senses.

"Jesus Lucas just don't stop." Brooke moaned, gripping his shoulders tighter, trying hard not to leave marks on his skin, but failing to do so.

The sensation of her nails digging into his shoulders only encouraged him as Lucas snaked his hand down between them, pushing Brooke's leg upwards and grasping her clit, fingers slowly tracing the sensitive skin.

Brooke lost all control when he touched her, nerve endings so electrified, burning with the need for a reprieve of some sort that she couldn't hold out anymore.

Blush spread to her cheeks as she fluttered her eyes closed and whispered how close she was.

"You feel so fucking good, just come Brooke. I'm right here." Lucas replied, managing somehow to stay lucid while sensations suddenly overwhelmed him and before he knew it, he was burying his face in Brooke's neck as their bodies convulsed together for the first time that night, a feeling he thought he'd never get enough of.

"God." Brooke murmured, trying to catch her breath as Lucas placed gentle kisses on her cheeks.

"You're not leaving my bed." Lucas threatened playfully as he pushed back a strand of her hair lovingly.

"That's not a problem." Brooke replied, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist.

"I love you, you know" Lucas murmured into her hair, inhaling her scent as he played with loose strands.

"I love you too Broody." Brooke smiled softly, hands roaming the planes of his back.

Closing her eyes, she reveled in the feeling of him still inside her, his breath on her shoulder, and his weight on top of her, securing her against the bed and making her feel safe.

Lucas tried to roll off of her, but Brooke held on tighter, "Stay for a while, I missed this."

She explained, her eyes fluttering closed as she inhaled deeply.

Lucas obliged, maneuvering them around so Brooke was lying against his chest,

"I missed this too, pretty girl." He murmured, before drifting off to sleep…

***

_We've been circling for time baby  
We're coming down to land tonight  
The wait is over and now it's easy  
Everything is fine_

She leaned against the railing, overlooking the water, and inhaled the remnants of summer air as a chilly September wind blew the lapel of her coat against her neck.

Pushing the material aside, her mind traveled to a different time and place, where she stood overlooking the water and thinking about a new chapter in her life.

She was thinking about a new chapter now as well, but this one had been written far before she anticipated and unlike the previous one, which she was glad to close, this chapter didn't involve her running from her fears, instead it was more about a boy and the love he brought into her life.

A boy, who stole her heart at 17 and now eleven years later, still hadn't given it back.

She'd hope he would, for many years, cursing the very existence of him, not because she hated him, but because she was angry and hurt. Upset that he betrayed her and still managed to evoke a sense of sympathy from her.

Now, she couldn't wait to see him, so she could take him out for an early lunch, celebrating the contract he signed to do a movie version of his very first novel.

She knew the book inside out and knew it would be a challenge for her to relive those moments with him, both on screen and on paper. To see other people cast in the roles she and her family played so many years back, but she was ready to face it with him, and help him through the challenges that awaited him, because that's what he had done for her.

In the last year, she'd let go of the painful past, let go of her attack, made peace with her lack of parenthood, and focused on the best aspects in her life, like her family, beautiful godchildren, and her fashion line.

He'd done that for her and now it was her turn to give back.

She squinted against the bright, mid-morning sun and turned just in time to see Lucas emerge from the publishing house.

Her breath caught in her throat as she walked him walk towards her in a white t-shirt and jeans, so goddamn reminiscent of the first time they ran into each other almost a year and a half ago, that she felt nostalgic all of the sudden.

If she hadn't run into him that day in San Francisco, who knows where they'd be now?

Where _she'd_ be now?

But Brooke refused to dwell on the past, she refused to live on what ifs and maybes, she did that for too long already and it was time to start living her life. So instead of saying anything, she simply leaned up and gave him a soft kiss as he met her half way.

Little did she know that as she walked towards him, Lucas couldn't stop thinking about that day too, about the day he subconsciously knew changed everything, and suddenly he was propelled to another memory.

Another time when the brunette before him hid in the backseat of his truck and asked his naïve self the very same question; if he could talk to that bubbly, gorgeous, risk taking brunette now, he would tell her that the moment in his truck was just the beginning for them and that they had a long way to go.

And damn but was he glad that they reached a destination…

_Why everyone says that I look happier  
When you're around  
The closer you get  
Better I feel_

THE END

***

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed this story: BDavisLScott23, BrookeDavis23, tanya2byyour21, whiters, Liz457, Longlivebrucas, Allie, photobooth_romance, Tanya, Princesskarlita411, TeamSophia, bella, arygon199, evergloweyes, onetreefan, TaraFish, flipflopgal, brookenlucas4eva03, sunshine, Lindsay, catcat51092, crazygurl093, TeamxxBrucasxx, brucas224, jc4127, KCPrettyGurl, brucas1, Brucas10, Brucasfan23, Andrea Michelina, Cheerybroody3, awhero, albluvscbg, Ambrocoo, storyteller247, monkeyluver012, ichirukifan, PeterClaire, BrookeD, B., queen08, HHr4life, tripnfallbri, PrettyGirl1758, , BL-is-love, SV, Kate, silverfoxx01, Christine, missdenmark, ipodder.

-Thank you guys so much and a special thanks to those who remained loyal to the story through its entirety. You guys are the reason I was so inspired to continue, so thank you, thank you everyone for propelling this forward (God I feel like I'm accepting an award LOL), anyway, thank you, you guys kick major ass!!

-Yana


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